Cry No More
Shirubaa
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And I'm really, really, really sorry for not updating sooner. My inspiration seemed to have disappeared on me for awhile. It's really hard to write anything when the words just don't flow anymore… But I promise you guys, I'll be back one day, but until then I'll struggle through this and maybe just maybe, it'll take me back to where I was before, and of course I'll be better than I was before.
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Chapter Twelve [Final] – Cry No More
Sakura had felt betrayal, death, loneliness and rejection, but the scene before her had shown that nothing in her past could compare to what she saw now. The evil grin that appeared on Syaoran's face, and the tone that flooded her when he spoke the words, "Happy birthday Sakura", she could feel the one thousand knives that sliced her heart and soul apart. She was bleeding, and nothing could stop it.
"Surprised aren't you, Sakura?" Syaoran smirked, "And how about you, Eriol?"
"What the hell are you doing?" Eriol shot a deadly glare at him; his face was flushed with anger. He ripped off the necklace dangling on his neck, and clenched it tightly in a fist. Eriol was a magician as well, ever since he was a small little boy, he had noticed that he had a special talent, a talent that no one understood. He kept it from everyone, but as soon as his parents found out, they immediately turned their backs on him. After that particular incident, Eriol had closed his real self to everyone around him; that is until he met Sakura. 'I have to protect Sakura, even with my life.' Eriol thought. Sakura was the first person that he had willingly shown the other side to him, surprisingly, she had revealed to him that she was also indulged in the same life of magic.
"Tell me, Eriol, how are you still able to protect someone who doesn't fully love you? When she's just beside you to just play with your heart?" Syaoran smirked; his stature was perfectly the same, on the same branch, except the black aura was growing at an immense speed.
"She may not love me as much as I want her to, but maybe someday she will. I'm willing to wait as long as she needs." Eriol spat back at him. "When you've felt that you've been accepted, I'm sure that you never want to let go." He had always worn a mask in front of everyone, acting like a smooth, pretty boy; who excelled in all his academics and along with his athletics. That came along with all the hopeful girls that wanted to latch onto his arm. It was only a few years ago that Sakura had stepped into his life. She was different; she never cared what he achieved the top score on an exam, or when he became the captain of the basketball team. She never cared about anything accept the truth, she was able to look beyond his mask and see what was really inside. That's why I can't let her go.
"I've waited a lot more than you ever had," Syaoran told him; he flipped a black orb that had ignited on his palm, and grinned at him, "And I think you'll still have to wait."
Sakura was speechless. Her entire body felt weak as her knees began to crumble beneath her, until finally, she hit the ground with a loud thump. "Why, Syaoran, why?!" she asked, pain was obviously dripping from her words. She searched for Syaoran, trying to find the eyes that had always captured hers. 'Wait a minute.' Even though her eyes were blurred from the amount of the tears that had been cascading from her eyes, she could make out a faint silhouette – no two, surrounding Syaoran's entire body.
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'I wonder what's happening over at Eriol's right now?" Tomoyo wondered. She knew that Sakura's and Eriol's private party was commencing right about now, but somehow, she was feeling a bit uneasy.
'It's probably nothing…' Pushing her thoughts aside as her hands reached into her pockets in hopes for a secure place to hide. Her eyes followed the cement that was beneath her as she walked along the sidewalk, her thoughts wanted to push everything out. She wanted to just forget and be able to move on.
Go back…
Go back…
"Who's there?" Tomoyo asked immediately, her defense immediately shot up to the max, yet she couldn't help but to reach out to it. It was filled with a mix of warmth and sadness.
Just go back…
The haunting whisper echoed in her ears again and again. The shaky, dreary voice rang in her mind, until finally, she gave into temptation. Her legs started to move on their own, it was a silent war between her legs and her mind, she was hesitant, but something deep within her knew that she just needed to get back. I just need to get back to where he is.
The burning sensation that was igniting underneath her feet wasn't the only thing that was worrying her; the worst was yet to come. The hardest part was what she would see with her own two eyes. It was the same as before, the dreary mansion that she was at a few moments before, a mansion that she had wished to brighten up. With the love that would never go away.
Her whole body became numb once she stood at the entrance to Eriol's garden, the paradise that he and she had especially created for Sakura. Sakura was on the ground, Tomoyo could see her body shaking, but what made Tomoyo's jaw drop was the dark figure that stood in the trees. 'Syaoran.'
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"Well would you look at who's here?" Syaoran smirked, his eyes shifting slightly to the side.
Eriol turned in the same direction that Syaoran had and saw Tomoyo standing there, completely frozen. "What are you doing here, Tomoyo?! Get out of here!" he cried out.
"I wonder, Eriol, did you ever know that she loved you?" Syaoran rolled his eyes, "Wait never mind, of course you wouldn't. It's because you've always been caught up by Sakura." He turned and faced Tomoyo, "I can feel your pain Tomoyo, the pain of loving someone but they're never going to return that love. We are the same; we'll never have a chance."
"STOP IT!" Sakura, who had been drowning herself in despair managed to scream out, "You don't seem to understand anything! You're not the same Syaoran that I used to know! You've changed… You've changed into someone I don't even know." Her hands clutched the sides of her head; they squeezed it tighter, and tighter. She wanted the pain to go away so badly, she knew she shouldn't run, but there was really nothing she could do at the moment.
"Sakura!" Tomoyo cried, as she raced up to her best friend, "Get a hold of yourself; you need to pull yourself together. We need to try to get Syaoran back. I may not have any special magical powers, but I can tell that there's definitely something controlling him."
"Tomoyo…" Sakura whispered, this scene seemed to play back from a long time ago… When she was suffering, she had no one to turn to; Tomoyo was always patiently with her, whispering words of support. 'If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have been able to get through Syaoran's death.'
"Syaoran, I know what you're saying," I need to be strong. "But loving someone isn't always about being selfish and wanting that person for ourselves. It's more like loving that person and trying to keep them happy, no how much pain we have to go through." I won't cry. "It's the will to wait until they finally see us for who we are."
"You…" Syaoran's eyes narrowed, "Piss me off." He blasted a dark beam directly at her, "You're so pathetic… You don't deserve to live!"
Tomoyo stood there, and prepared herself to what was going to happen next.
"Tomoyo! Sakura!" Eriol yelled, as he raced as fast as he could. He felt a surge of relief as he drew up a shield in front of Sakura and Tomoyo. The beam was persistent; he knew that he wouldn't be able to keep them safe.
She squeezed onto Sakura, "Wake up Sakura; this is not the time to become like this! Sure I've always been jealous of you; everyone always seemed to care about you more… I've always wanted some attention. But you're my best friend, and I don't want you to be like this!" Tears dripped down her cheek as she watched Sakura shook in pain, it seemed like Sakura was trapped in her own world, and she didn't want to come out. "Please, help Syaoran."
"Tomoyo… Take Sakura and get out of here!" Eriol yelled out to her.
"You fucking bastard, get out of the way." Syaoran snared, "You're not going to last any longer."
"I'll protect her to the very end." Eriol shot back.
"Who… Sakura?" Syaoran asked, a slight tone of sarcasm was seeping through his words.
"Eriol…" he heard a small voice call behind him, "Is that the only person you can think about? Why… can't you ever think of me for once?" Tomoyo's painful cry rang in his ears.
"I can't lie to you Tomoyo, but lately, I'm questioning my feelings for Sakura…" Eriol blurted out, drips of sweat ran down the side of his head as he strained to hold back the beam that Syaoran was blasting at them. "But please Tomoyo, run. I said RUN! I don't think I can hold it any longer…"
Tomoyo's heart broke as she saw the blue shield slowly fading, it's now or never. "Sakura… when this is over… I want you take to take care of Eriol, don't let him go… Keep him safe, for me." Tomoyo whispered into her best friend's ear, "I'll always love you Sakura; you've always been like a sister to me."
She let go of her embrace and left Sakura sitting on the ground.
Sakura felt a gentle voice caressing her, but she didn't want to wake up, she didn't want to face the reality. Sakura… when this is over… I want you take to take care of Eriol, don't let him go… Keep him safe, for me. Sakura's eyes immediately returned to its original color, "Tomoyo?" she called out, "Tomoyo?!" She was too late, when she had finally snapped out of her dream state, she was faced with a horrid scene, a scene that she knew, would always haunt her. It was going to be her fault.
Tomoyo smiled as she heard Sakura call her, and looked back; she mouthed the words, "Goodbye." There's no way I'm going to turn back, I have to stop running and become who I've always wanted to be.
"Tomoyo?" Eriol grunted, a few more seconds and he knew that he would perish. "Get out of here."
"I love you Eriol, you drive me nuts… Please… Take care of Sakura for me." Everything went by so quick, first he saw Tomoyo's smile, and next he was on the ground. Next thing he knew, he saw Tomoyo lying beside him, her body completely burnt and scarred; no traces of life were visible in her. Her soul was gone; all that was left was this shell that laid there for all to see. All that shell left was a lasting pain that would never be healed.
"What a foolish girl." Syaoran smirked, "Oh well… One down, two more to go. Let the real fun begin." He took out his sword, one that was completely black and filled with hate. He descended from the position on top of the tree and immediately went towards the unsuspecting Eriol.
Before he could slice the sword through Eriol, another sword clashed with his.
"You…" Sakura whispered, her tone was shaky as her body felt as if it was going to crumble. She was staring right into his eyes, her emotions were everywhere. All she could feel was anger and sadness at the same time. "What happened to you Syaoran, why are you doing this?"
"Because he is no longer Syaoran… He is mine." A dark shadow came out from his body and caressed his cheeks. "I made a deal with him, he was so sure that you would still be there… Waiting for you, but after he returned and saw that bastard with you, all he could was anger and pain. Making his body easily manipulated, a body readily for the taking, a body that would belong to me"
"Void?" Sakura's eyes widened, she never forgot the battle between this card; it was the hardest battle that she had ever fought in. 'That's right,' her mind struck a realization, 'I left the Void, when I brought her in, I left her…' It was so faint in her memory, but she could still see a vague image of herself running away and dropping one card. "I remember… I'm so sorry..." Sakura whispered.
"You showed your true motive when you abandoned me the second time… I'm never going to forgive you! I'm going to make you feel the same pain that you caused me!" the Void shrieked.
"Then please, release Syaoran… Take me instead… I know he can't hear me but… I've always loved him; I tried to be strong when he died… But when he returned I wasn't sure if he still felt the same way. I didn't want to cause him any pain, and I was confused… Please just return the old Syaoran back… If you want me to suffer, kill me instead."
"Shut up!" the Void screamed, "I've had enough of your bullshit!"
"Onegai… Bring him back to me one last time…"
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"Sakura…?" Syaoran heard a plead inside his prison; he was trapped in his own body. His own prison, and he would be there for eternity.
He could see everything that was happening, but he had no control of how he would act. He was locked in this vessel, he could see the pain but he could not do anything about it.
'What motivated you to return to the real world?' a tiny voice in his mind whispered, If you really want it, I'm sure you can do it. That phrase… It was a line when he was suffering and Sakura had helped out of it, it was a line that constantly echoed in his mind when he was stuck in the vast world of darkness.
"Sakura… I'm sorry for everything, but I hope that this will make it up… This is the best I can do…" Syaoran whispered, as he struggled down a trail of light.
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"Tomoyo…" Eriol cried, "Wake up… I said wake up!" He looked down at her expressionless face; the side of her cheek was still bleeding, even though there wasn't really anything there. She had left, left him to deal with the pain that she had to take in when she was still alive. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… If only I realized this earlier."
He was struck with realization as he watched Tomoyo fall. Over the past few days, he had gradually started to fall for her. He never really had a chance to notice her until these past few days; he had been blinded by his supposed love for Sakura. He never really stopped and just felt what was really in his heart, instead of constantly pushing it away.
"You risked everything for me, and me? I've done nothing for you… Come back to me… So I can make it up… Please… Someone… Bring her back."
She will always be with you, Eriol.
"What, who's there?" Eriol immediately shouted.
Here. Right here.
Eriol glanced up and saw two spirits floating across from him. He noticed that the present that Tomoyo had helped him choose for Sakura, it was completely shattered from the impact of the attack.
They were a beautiful couple, it was a man and a woman, they were both embracing as they mourned with Eriol of Tomoyo's death. It took you awhile to realize who you really loved… The woman softly told him.
"I never knew… I wished… I just wish…" Eriol looked down and clenched his fists, "Who are you?"
We are the lovers that were killed a long, long time ago… This music box has always kept us together; one thing we have learned is that love is irreplaceable. We have been stuck in this box for centuries… Hoping, waiting for true lovers to set us free.
Eriol looked questioningly at them.
It wasn't because of this blast that broke us free, it was the realization that you both loved each other that much, and we are here to help… Give you another chance at it. Do you remember who we are? We were your faithful servants that served under you, Clow Reed; we helped you find the one you truly loved. You let us be together, so we sacrificed ourselves for you… And her.
"Are you saying that…?" Eriol stuttered.
That we're going to bring her back to you, treat her well, protect her with all your might. Because even when you both die, you'll be able to find each other again. No matter the circumstance. Remember this, true lovers will always be together, when they are separated, they will definitely find each other, no matter how long they need to look.
The couple emitted a bright glow and they disappeared. We are simply returning your lost love, Master, we're giving you another chance to be able to love her, truly, madly, deeply… Please take care of her, Eriol, descendant of Clow Reed.
"Thank you…" Eriol whispered as he stared in the sky.
"Eriol…?" Tomoyo's meek voice rang in his ears.
"You came back… You really came back…" Eriol squeezed her. He never wanted to let go of her again.
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"Sakura…" Syaoran's voice seemed to fight off the Void's possession over his body.
"Syaoran?" Sakura asked in disbelief, "Is that really you?"
"I can only hold her back for a bit, quick… Destroy me with the Love card, it's the only force that can defeat the Void." Syaoran struggled to say. In his body it was a internal battle, the Void struggled to regain control, but he needed this time, so he could get what he really deserved.
"I can't do that!" Sakura cried, 'He's really back… But I have to kill him again? I can't do it… I can't go through this all over again…'
"You have to… If you don't you, Eriol and everyone else will die because of the Void, she's inside of me. We are one." Syaoran told her. "NOW DO IT. Please Sakura, I'm begging you."
"But… Syaoran I - "
He placed a finger on her lips. He knew exactly of what she was to say, but he didn't want to hear it, not now. "I said kill me, I can't stand to watch myself kill you, I would never ever forgive myself." Syaoran told her sternly.
Sakura's hands were shaking as she took the Love card out; it was the card that she cherished most, "Love." She mouthed as the spirit whipped out and tangled into Syaoran's body. Tears streaked down her cheek as she watched as Syaoran's body once again… began to disappear.
"Don't cry Sakura… I'll always watch over you…" Syaoran gave her a smile, "I'll always love you..."
"NOOOOOOO!!!" the dark shadow within Syaoran cried, it was the painful scream of the Void. It was being destroyed by the love that Sakura and Syaoran had shared, "Why?" the Void screamed, "Why am I being destroyed by this… this…"
Nothing can destroy the power of love… Not even you… A melodic voice whispered into the Void's ear.
"Syaoran!" Sakura cried, "Don't leave me!"
"I have to Sakura…" Syaoran smiled, "Promise me… That you won't cry anymore… Stay happy for my sake."
"I- I promise…" Sakura cried as the last piece of Syaoran disappeared. "I love you." She whispered, but no one heard her but only the whistling wind.
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It's almost been a year since that event. Of course I've always thought of Syaoran, but the promise that I made him, I am determined to not break it. I'm not going to cry anymore. I'm going to still live on, be happy but reminisce on all the memories that Syaoran and I created.
Everything had returned back to normal after my battle with Syaoran and the Void. Eriol and Tomoyo both sorted out their feelings and they both are extremely happy with each other. I guess I should've realized that Tomoyo loved Eriol, but for me, after I took time to think things through, he was someone that I needed to forget Syaoran. But Syaoran is someone that I'll never really forget. He'll always last in my heart, even as a memory, but for some reason I feel like I'm constantly being watched.
"Sakura!" my brother called, "Can you go out and buy some food for dinner?"
"Why me?" I cried aloud.
"Because I have a broken foot!"
"Stupid Touya…"
"Stupid kaijuu."
I had to smile because I loved the moments that I had with my brother, we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for… Syaoran. I looked up into the vast blue sky and walked along the sidewalk. I could see the birds happily flying, and the cherry blossoms were blowing in the wind.
Something caught my attention and I looked straight ahead… I saw someone, with chestnut colored hair, and he was smiling at me… I heard my purse drop to the ground, but my body was completely frozen.
'I can't cry… I'm not supposed to cry…' I told myself over and over. But I couldn't help it, because at this moment, I was happier than I've ever been, all the pain and all the suffering was worth this one moment.
Even when lovers are separated, they'll still be able to find each other, even if we spend an eternity crying out for the one we need, the one we want to hold… Sooner or later, life after life, you'll be able to find them… again and again.
The End.
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Well, that's the end of this fic! I know some of it may have been rushed, and it might be a bit confusing, but I told you I'm struggling with my writing and hopefully this will mark the return of me and my writing… I think I might be taking a break from CCS fics for awhile… I mean I have been writing about mostly CCS, its time for a change don't you think? Please review, I'll really appreciate it! I'll be back and I this time I'm determined to do so. I also want to thank everyone who has been patient for the last chapter… I love you all!
Much love, Shirubaa.
