Vanessa Bender sighed, sat up, and turned her light on. Sleep was hopeless; she couldn't get her mind off of Joe.
You haven't spoken in months, she thought to herself, sighing and rubbing her eyes. How could you even wonder if he still cares about you? How could you think it was even important? He's got bigger problems now.
Tears filled her eyes as she remembered that Joe had tried to kill himself; what would possess him to do it? How could he do it?
He doesn't deserve so much unhappiness, he's such a good person, a wonderful, amazing person, he always was—
—and at that same time he was so stubborn, so bullheaded, never listening to anyone, never believing when we told him the truth…
Even Frank. He didn't always believe Frank…
Van?
Hey, what's up?
I need your help. We have to get off this case, Van, and my stupid brother won't listen to me…
What's wrong with the case?
I screwed up, Van, and if I don't get us off soon Joe might get hurt…
"Vanessa?"
Her mother's voice snapped her out of her memories.
"Mom?"
Mrs. Bender opened the door to her daughter's room. "Sweetheart, what are you doing up?"
Vanessa sighed. "I couldn't sleep."
"What's wrong?"
Vanessa bit her lip and looked at her mother with wet eyes.
"Joe," she whispered.
Mrs. Bender nodded and sat beside her daughter.
"I don't know, Mom, I just keep thinking of him. Of…us, I guess. But mostly about him, and…how he did this to himself. I just don't understand it."
Her mother brushed a few strands of hair off her daughter's forehead. "Honey, think of how close he was to Frank. You remember what he was like at the funeral. And afterward."
Vanessa did.
Silent, he sat, not speaking to anyone, wouldn't look at us, wouldn't even acknowledge we were there, refused to stand in line afterward, he just stood by the coffin, staring at his brother, as if willing him to wake up, we all knew he was in pain but he wouldn't even let us try to help him. Callie cried…and all the Hardy's…and me…even the guys…but not him. He was a statue. Until they went to move him to the cemetery…that's when he reacted, running out the back of the church, disappearing we heard nothing from him until Con Riley called to say he'd crashed the van…
"But he's such a good person," she murmured, thinking of all the people Joe had helped, of how kind he was, how eager to aid the innocent, those in need…
"You should tell him that."
"I don't know how if he won't take my calls."
"Keep trying. Don't give up." Mrs. Bender looked her daughter square in the eyes.
"That boy needs people who won't give up."
Like Frank, Vanessa thought sadly, knowing that months ago, deep in a secret basement underground, weak and bleeding in Joe's arms, Frank had.
