She didn't know exactly what she was going to tell him.
She told Stephen the morning after they'd made love that she didn't want to confuse Sean about what happened between them, but the fact the she was going to have another baby would surely confuse her young son. There was nothing that he'd wanted more than to have her and Stephen back together and he surely would have expected it if his father were alive.
But Stephen was gone and Helen didn't have an idea of what she was going to do without his help.
It was one Sunday not long after the doctor told her she was pregnant that Helen took Sean to the cemetery. The weekly visits seemed to help him deal with Stephen being gone and help him come to terms with the fact that he wasn't coming back. It was on their way there that she decided it was the place to tell her son because they would be close to his father.
They reached Stephen's marker and after giving Sean time to talk to him and tell him how school was going, he lay the flowers in front of the marker and sighed.
"I miss him, Mom." Sean told her as he took her hand.
"I know you do honey." She let out a sigh of her own before she turned Sean around to face her. "But Dad left us something before he went to Heaven."
The look on his face was one of curiosity and apprehension. "What is it?"
Just get to the point Helen. "Do you remember when Dad stayed at the house and you were going to make me breakfast in bed?"
He nodded.
This was going to be harder than she thought. "And you know what Dad and I told you about how babies are made?"
Sean nodded again.
"Well, we're going to give you a little brother or sister in a few months."
She wasn't sure if he fully understood what she was trying to say because he didn't say anything for a moment. "Is it a boy or girl?"
Helen smiled. "I don't know that yet Sean. What would you like it to be?"
"Can I have a brother?" He asked her hesitantly.
"I'll see what I can do, but I won't make any promises." She answered.
"Okay." He seemed content with the answer and turned to walk toward the car.
"Sean, aren't you forgetting something?"
He stopped and returned to where his mother stood. "Oh yeah. Bye Dad, see you next week." And he turned back around and walked to the car.
She smiled at the marker before she picked up the flowers and put them in the receptacle in front of it and arranged the blooms as best she could. "He's your son." And after she was satisfied with the way they looked, she followed Sean to the car.
*~*~*~*~*
She had sent Sean upstairs to finish his homework that he needed to turn in the following morning.
Her parents had left and Brian was helping her in the kitchen with the last of the dishes. Neither said much, but it was a companionable silence.
"So how did he take it?" Brian finally asked. "You said you were going to tell him when you took him to see Stephen."
Helen shrugged her shoulders. "About as well as a six year old takes these things I guess. His only question was if he could have a brother."
"What do you want?" He smiled at her and put the last plate into the dishwasher.
"I hadn't really had the chance to think about it. But when Sean told me he wanted a brother, I couldn't help but think that I'd like to have a girl. If it were a girl, she couldn't end up like her father. Of course it's all nonsense because she could be a firefighter if she wanted to."
"That's true."
"What about you? Would you like another nephew or would you prefer a niece?" She asked him as she put soap in the dispenser and closed the dishwasher door before she began the cycle.
"It doesn't really matter to me Helen. As long as it's healthy, that's all that really matters."
Helen seemed surprised by his answer. "That's not an answer I would have expected from you."
He looked at her with a serious expression on his face. "It really doesn't matter. This is the last kid that Stephen's going to have and the last nephew or only niece I'm going to have. So what ever it is is all right by me."
Helen shook her head and smiled. "I could never figure you out Brian. Stephen was complicated, but was pretty much an open book as far as what he wanted and I never had any trouble figuring him out."
That made him laugh. "Well, I'm not going anywhere and after I've put in the kind of career Stephen did with the 17th, maybe I'll be easier to figure out."
"Maybe." She commented as she walked to the kitchen door. Brian followed her out and they walked into the living room where he found his jacket and put it on.
"If you're interested, there's going to be a small ceremony at the firehouse next Saturday. The guys decided to re-christen Engine 17 in honor of Stephen because he loved that fire wagon so much. I was asked if you and Sean would like to come."
She nodded. "Of course we'll be there. Thank you for thinking of us."
"I didn't know if it was such a good idea because I know the love-hate relationship you have with the job of being a firefighter. But I didn't want to speak for you."
She touched his arm. "You're right about my love-hate relationship, but it's what Sean's father did and what he loved so much. I always want him to understand that."
Brian smiled and walked to the front door. "You're one in a million Helen. Would you like me to come pick you two up or do you just want to meet everyone there."
"I'll drive over."
"We'll be starting things about 9:30 Saturday morning and barring any sudden emergencies, it shouldn't take longer that a half-hour."
"We'll be there." She smiled at him.
"Great. I'll tell the guys to expect you and Sean." And he opened the door and stepped out onto the porch. "Thanks for a great dinner Helen."
"Goodnight Brian."
"I'll see you on Saturday." And he walked into the dark and toward his car.
Helen closed the door behind him and turned off the porch light before she headed upstairs.
