A/N: This is kind of strange so far, but please read it. It's only my second serious fic, and my only romance fic. I'd really like input, preferably not flames, because they make me cry. This is a yaoi fic, Ryou BakuraxYami Bakura. Don't like, don't read, okay?

Disclaimer: If I owned YGO, it would be different than it is, and it wouldn't be the highly popular thing it is, in which case you probably wouldn't have heard of it, and you wouldn't be reading this. That's the one good thing about my not owning it, see?

Bakura always watched his hikari at night. He wasn't sure why; to himself, he said he was amazed at what a coward Ryou was, and was just thinking about that. There was a feeling, though, that he didn't recognize, that he only felt when he looked at the soft-spoken, pale boy. Not disgust or disappointment. The one-time Tomb Robber hadn't been aware that he possessed a heart, but it was seeming as though it might be there. It ached every time Ryou took aspirin for his arm, which had never healed properly. It ached when Ryou flinched away from him, although Bakura hadn't hit him for months-well, weeks, at least. Since the yami had gotten a body, he'd been more sympathetic to others' pain. A little, anyway.

When Bakura had been a spirit, it had been easier to escape his feelings about his hikari. He'd sat in his soul room, trying to ignore his light's sweet, innocent (ugh) thoughts. Unfortunately, in a separate body, it was harder. If anything, the soul link was stronger, pulling him physically closer to Ryou, practically screaming at him not to leave for an instant.

Of course, he had a routine for avoidance nicely worked out. At least he thought so. He always just stood and stared at Ryou for about an hour every night, once the boy was asleep. He couldn't help it. It was as though he was entranced, just watching his light breathe, the curves of his face, the way his hair fell over his eyes.all of it was fascinating. The thought nearly made Bakura sick, but there it was. Ryou really was his opposite in many ways. The thief himself was all sharp angles and words, and glares, where his hikari was soft angles and easy smiles.

Once Bakura could rip himself away from his light's side, he could go on to what he did afterwards. First, he went into the bathroom and drank half a bottle of whatever was in the medicine cabinet-usually Vicks or Robitussin. He didn't know why Ryou complained about the taste; it was not that different from Egyptian wine.

It also helped him to forget his stupid human weakness. When he judged himself to be drowsy enough from the cough syrup, he'd go downstairs to the kitchen and eat coffee grounds. He always did this rather smugly, because Ryou had requested that he restrict his caffeine intake. Bakura loved the strange high that came from mixing the medicine that made you sleepy and the coffee that zinged you awake. He also loved that he could think of nothing but staying on his feet. That was excellent.

The one thing Bakura needed never to do was to look into Ryou's room again. He'd lost control of himself once. Ryou had been having a nightmare, and his panic had come through the soul link. The Tomb Robber couldn't stop himself from entering the room, from holding his light's hand gently, from whispering words of comfort (as comforting as he could make them, given his personality). Almost instantly, Ryou's fear had stopped, replaced by a feeling of.happiness? Security? Bakura wasn't sure what it was. In any case, the boy's hand tightened in his, making it impossible to extricate himself. Not that it mattered. He was already caught, but not in any physical way. When he snapped out of it, the sun had risen, and Bakura was lying next to Ryou, whose arms were around him. Luckily, his light slept heavily, so he could get out without waking him, allowing the boy to know his yami's weakness.

Bakura drank an entire bottle of cough syrup that day, and locked himself in his room, despite Ryou's pleading. He also took two aspirins, reasoning that since his hikari took them to numb pain, they'd probably help him with.whatever it was.

After Bakura ate the coffee, he always went out. He didn't really remember what he did, but he felt fairly certain that it had to do with alcoholic beverages. Given the killer headaches he usually woke up with, it was probably a lot of alcohol.

The worst part (or maybe the best) was that Ryou appeared not to notice anything. He carried on the way he always did, slightly wary of his yami, but generally the same sweet, cheerful boy he always was. The sweet, cheerful, innocent, beautiful boy that Bakura could not ignore, no matter how many painkillers he took. The boy who came dangerously close to exposing the Tomb Robber's weakness.



I think something's wrong with Bakura. Every night he wakes me up, coming in my room. I thought at first that he was going to kill me, but now I don't think so. I don't know what's going on. I can't let him leave me. Since he got his own body, I've been so afraid that he would go. He thinks I'm weak. Maybe I am. I know one thing. I can't live without him, my dark side, my yami. I think I've been sending some of my thoughts across the soul bond, begging him to stay. He probably hasn't noticed. He's been acting so strangely. Another thing. My cough syrup keeps disappearing, along with my coffee. I'm sure he's responsible for the coffee (he loves caffeine), but cough syrup? I'm confused.I'll think about it in the morning.

A/N: Yes, there is a plot to this. The first chapter is mostly an introduction, just ramblings to pull my thoughts together. I made Bakura act very unworried about his whole cough syrup and coffee thing, because I think he would be. He'd probably just see it as a means to the end, and not worry about addictions or anything. Anyway, following chapters will be clearer and more understandable. Please leave me a review on your way out, thanks!