Title: Dungeons and Distractions v2.0

Author: Mizzy

E-mail: mizzy_2k@yahoo.co.uk

Rating: PG-13

Homepage: ;

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Summary: "Grab my wrist!" Midnight martial arts, invisible kissing at midnight, and Professor Dumbledore trying to smuggle in illegal immigrants? What's a boy to do in a mixed-up muddle of a mixed-up world?

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Part Four - "Extispicy"

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Fred and George Weasley were not mischievous by nature alone. Nurture was a great contributor to their growing up. Growing up in a hectic and close household, with very little to distinguish yourself from close siblings, it had been a constant struggle for the identical twins to earn their individuality.

And earn it they had.

After their legendary escape from Hogwarts, Fred and George had taken a secret course over the summer sanctioned and taught by Professor Dumbledore, alongside their friend and confidante, Lee Jordan. They had told no one what had happened, but it must have been something huge, for a large scar haunted Fred Weasley's face and all three were invariably found huddled together discussing things. Of course, partly it was because of the twins' joke shop, but other times it was something a little more... sensitive.

Professor Dumbledore had waved off their sixth year escape, placing them in seventh year. What they had learned over the summer holiday had obviously more than made up for the schooling they had missed.

The prospect of going back to school had, at first, daunted the twins, but return they did. Smiling and back up to their wicked tricks, the three returned to the Gryffindor life with barely a crack. Fred and George spent the first few weeks of the term making up for not pranking Ginny, making sure they pranked her as often and as loudly as they could, repeatedly in front of Slytherins, if it was at all possible. Ginny would turn redder than her hair, and run to Ron and Harry, demanding help from the infamous sixth year.

The last time that had happened, Harry had taken them aside and put delicately that the "mysterious benefactor for their Weasley Wheezes enterprise might get angry and remove the balls of said enterprise company managers" if anything like that happened again.

Ginny now basked under a twin-free term, as they mostly get out of her hair, and all the Gryffindor table had to put up with their loud and lascivious gags. Oh, and getting turned into a crocodile or aardvark once in a while as new products were summarily tested on the house.

More often than not, the bizarre explosions took place at the teachers' table or at the Slytherins' table.

The three were secretly training for the position of Dark Arts Defence teacher. Together. Dumbledore had figured the only way to break the curse was to stop feeding it fuel. Three people were hard to get rid of, even if they were simultaneously running a successful magic tricks enterprise at the same time.

Fred scratched his nose, and grinned at George, who shuffled a bit to the left and waited with a small white bag in his left hand. It was much easier to tell the twins apart now from the silvery scar that ran down Fred's left cheek identifying him as different to George, and was a result of an encounter with a Manticore in the Alps. The deities knew how they escaped, but escape they did, and now the twins had more practical Defence against the Dark Arts experience than the last six teachers respectively.

"One sixth year making their way down the hallway," George whispered, mock-prissily. "Draco Malfoy."

"Stupid prick," Fred muttered.

"Wait, another sixth year. It's Harry," George muttered, edging closer to the peephole. "Looks like they're arguing."

"Aw, young love." Fred smiled. "Those two might be the perfect targets."

George nodded. "One, two, three!"

On the count of three, they pushed the portrait open and jumped forwards. George took aim and threw the white bag at them. It hit Draco, covered the startled Slytherin in bright purple dust. Harry stumbled back, before casting a scandalized glance at the twins.

"What the hell did you do that for!"

Fred and George exchanged a worried glance. Then Fred's mouth dropped open.

"Oh no, you're dating him, right?" Fred slapped his forehead with the heel of his hand. "I completely forgot." Fred fudged over the lie quickly with the grace of a lifetime's practise. "Harry, I'm so sorry!"

Harry cast a scandalized glance at him, hands akimbo as he watched the purple cloud start to disperse into the air. It cleared to leave a frog, sitting on the ground and blinking up at them with large, startled, silvery eyes.

"We're not dating," Harry snapped impatiently at the twins as he bent down to examine the frog. "It's just a vicious rumour that's all Professor Trelawney's fault, isn't mine at all, I do not have any fricking feelings for him and I'd thank you not to think I do, and not spread any more rumours because I'm not dating him, I don't even like him at all! This whole thing is so bloody crazy!"

Fred opened his mouth to apologise, when George gasped suddenly and elbowed Harry sharply in the ribs.

"You're babbling," George informed Harry. Harry looked up, his shock of midnight hair tumbling over his eyes and a jolt of emotion flitted through the green depths hidden behind the hair. "And we never said anything about emotion or feelings."

"That was you," Fred added helpfully.

Harry could only stare wordlessly for a few seconds.

"How long does this last?" Looking away, Harry mumbled the question.

"Ten minutes," George replied softly, watching as Harry picked up the frog/Draco and carried it gingerly in his hands, not saying a single words as he walked unsurely back the way he'd come from.

Fred stared mutely at his twin for several long seconds, and George stared back. Both were sure they'd witnessed some kind of transition, but whether it had been them or Harry they couldn't determine even years later.

----

Professor Dumbledore looked up, sharply, as the door crashed open. The Order, huddled into some kind of group by his wall looked up, shocked.

Harry stalked forwards, ignoring the surprised glances of the pale-skinned vampires watching him from the side. He brought his hands forwards, and dropped something on it. Dumbledore blinked owlishly as he peered forwards, eyes clouded over in thought as he observed the frog that belched loudly and stared back at the headmaster.

Perplexed, Dumbledore moved back and fixed Harry with a piercing gaze. "Excuse me, Harry, but are you okay? What's this frog got to do with… anything?"

Harry frowned, folding his arms and narrowing his gaze dangerously at the frog. "You know how ten minutes ago Draco stormed out of here because you couldn't give him a satisfactory answer?"

Dumbledore coughed. "I.. Well, Harry… The answer would take a while to completely relay. Draco didn't stay here long enough to hear it…"

Harry shrugged. "Well, he's here now."

Dumbledore opened his mouth to reply, but whatever he was trying to say was masked in the small explosion. A purple cloud suddenly surrounded his desk, and there was a clatter as the wary vampires pushed backwards, trying to get away from the strange explosion.

Moments later, the cloud had dispersed, and Dumbledore was sat wide-eyed in his chair, staring at Draco. The blond was perched on the end of the desk, eyes clouded over and expressions confused and bewildered.

"What in the --" Draco snapped his mouth shut and quickly scrambled off the desk.

"The twins," Dumbledore said hollowly, his voice cracking in sudden realization.

Draco narrowed his eyes and turned his back, folding his arms in an unconscious mirror of Harry's position. "I'll kill them," he said quietly.

"Draco, if you'd just listen…"

Draco turned, his expression turning quickly again to disgust at the white, shimmering blonde who was looking up at him with pleading silvery eyes.

"Get the hell away from me!" Eyes widened, and breathing ragged, Draco screamed at the top of his voice, before collapsing to the ground, a mess of shaking, tangled limbs. "Get away from me." His voice grew weaker, trailing to a last desperate sob. "Please."

Rebecca turned her head away, burying it with a shaken gasp in the black taffeta clothing of the shortest of the Order of Cantial, obviously the leader by her almost regal bearing. "I told you he'd hate me, Esmerelda," the blond vampire whispered, her hands curled into fists. She smashed her fists against Esmerelda, collapsing against the dark-haired vampire desperately. "I told you."

Esmerelda didn't say anything, just pulled the girl closer and raised her eyes pleadingly to the heavens.

"I don't."

The aching, embarassing silence was broken by the soft whisper. Rebecca turned, tears decorating her cheeks making it seem like she was pure silver as she glowed in the firelight. Draco lifted his head, blond hair heavy against his cheeks, plastered with tears. Harry moved unconsciously to do what he didn't exactly know, but he was stopped by a restraining arm from Dumbledore

'When did he move?' Harry wondered as he helplessly watched the scene.

Dragging himself to his feet, Draco looked at the blonde vampire slowly. "I never hated you, Rebecca. I… Just can't accept that you… That you left me…"

Rebecca looked away. "I'm sorry, Draco. You have to understand, though. The Order of Cantial saved what was left of me to save. It is better that I am here now so I can help save you rather than I had died that day ten years ago."

Draco nodded slowly. "I see your logic, but…"

"But?"

"I don't have to like it," the blond said firmly, his gaze lifting up challengingly to Esmerelda's gaze this time. "You may have meant well, vampire, and I hope that this all works out, because else your non-life will not be worth living."

Esmerelda nodded, dark eyes alight with understanding. "I will protect her as my own," she said firmly, one arm on Rebecca's shoulder. Draco nodded stiffly, his pose that of a defeated man. Rebecca moved forwards slightly, one hand slightly extended towards Draco and the blond flinched.

"Don't even think of touching me, Elegeia Rebecca Malfoy," Draco snapped. The harsh words showed instantly on the young girl's face, but Draco turned away unaware. If he did notice, it didn't show.

There was a slight cough from the corner, and they all turned to see Professor Dumbledore, his expression soft and unreadable. "Draco, Harry, I do not need to inform you again that this is a secret. No one must find out about the Order of the Cantial. It's imperative."

Draco looked at Harry, then at Dumbledore. "You have our word," he said simply, moving to the door and leaving abruptly. Harry watched him leave, his face a blank mask as he turned and walked over to Esmerelda. She blanched involuntarily as he leaned in, green eyes narrowed dangerously at her.

"Don't even think of breaking your promise," he said abruptly, turning on his heel and exiting the cramped office.

"Albus, are you sure those two won't tell anyone?" A formidable looking female vampire near the back, with longish blond hair and striking features, looked across at Dumbledore, but was interrupted by Esmerelda snapping a hand around her wrists.

"Shut the hell up, Therese," Esmerelda snapped. "Those two have given up a hell of a lot for us already."

"And will have to give up a hell of a lot more," Rebecca added, her voice barely audible as she stared into the flickering flames in the fireplace. Esmerelda's eyes softened, and she squeezed the slender girl to her as they all stared off into oblivion, contemplating the future tomorrow would bring.

-----

If there was something, some kind of supernatural evil being, that inhabited the fiery pits of hell, then Draco wished that it would come and take him away. Or take McGonagall away, who had subjected him to this torture.

They weren't given detention, all right, but they were forced to stand outside her office. For two hours. It wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't been the busiest hallway in school. Barely two minutes would pass, and some students would walk past, sniggering at their predicament.

Thankfully some small respite came a short time before the ordeal was due to be over. Hermione and the Weasel came to talk to Harry, and Draco had to admit, their animated chatting and gossiping brought a restful respite from the recent hectic activities.

"Of course, you missed it in herbology," Ron was laughing, his cheeks flushed. Draco folded his arms and tried to pretend he wasn't listening. "Professor Snape came by to ask Professor Sprout for some dried Arcanthia root, and he accidentally bumped into the baby Devil's Snare we've been cross-breeding with the Venusian Spider traps! Professor Snape ending up being carted off to the infirmary, suffering from near-asphyxiation from where it grabbed him round the neck, and he has huge bite marks down his arm!"

Harry laughed a little as he leant against the wall, smiling at his two friends. Draco watched him, and the sudden thought that hearing Harry laugh wasn't such a bad thing, more like one of those things that makes your spine tingle and the hair on the back of your neck rise up, shocked him possibly more than anything else that day.

Not only was Harry the only one who could get under his skin like that, into his psyche, the little bastard was making him be sentimental over tiny, inconsequential things.

Oh crap.

He looked up, startled, from a jab in the ribs by Ron. The grinning redhead had poked him in the side with his wand. "I heard my brothers froggerized you today."

Huh?

"Froggerized?" Draco blinked at Ron, completely and utterly confused.

"Froggerized," Hermione repeated slowly, enunciating each symbol carefully. Harry laughed lightly, which distracted Draco a little before the blond frowned in confusion.

"They turned you into a frog," Ron explained. Draco nodded in recognition, then scowled. "Froggerized," the redhead tacked onto the end glibly, as if the word explained everything.

Draco carefully filed the word away into the little recycle bin at the back of his brain where he put all the stupid words to be stored until they could be pushed out rapidly.

"Oh, have you two heard the rumour yet?"

Harry let out a low whistle. "My, my, Hermione Granger. Gossiping like the lowly beings the rest of us are…"

Hermione smiled sweetly at Harry, and sent a two fingered gesture in his direction. Draco gaped. Looked like the Weasleys were a very bad influence on the prim and proper Gryffindor genius.

Harry laughed at the death glare he was getting from Hermione. "No, we haven't heard any rumours."

"Apart from the Snape and blue paint one," Draco added lightly. Harry elbowed the blond sharply, and Draco surprised everyone (mostly himself) when he didn't react violently. He merely stuck out his tongue at Harry. From the sudden look in Harry's eyes, though, that gesture might have had nearly the same effect as a retaliatory jab or punch.

"Anyway," Hermione said firmly, glaring at Draco for a second, "there's loads of meat being shipped into the school, more than is usual, anyway. The house elves normally hate meat, they handle it as little as possible - only to serve their high and mighty masters." There was more than a little amount of scorn in her voice at those words. "And this meat is being shipped in the form of dead carcasses. That is so strange."

"You'd better file it in the X-Files, Scully," Harry joked lightly. Hermione looked surprised.

"You… Was Dudley an X-Files fan or something?" Hermione looked a little shocked. Draco and Ron wore almost twin expressions of absolute confusion, which made Harry smirk a little.

"Yes, he was," Harry nodded, grimacing. "It's a good show. It's a bad thing that Dudley got obsessed. I fell asleep every night for six weeks hearing that damned tune." For effect, Harry whistled the X-Files theme. Hermione laughed.

"The twins have set up an illegal pool, with surprisingly good odds that we're all going to be forced to become meatitarians in defiance of muggle vegetarians." Hermione pulled a face. "I don't think the twins get the concept of vegetarianism much. The rumour, though, is that the school has Manticores. Chained up beneath the school. The carcasses are to feed them."

"Well they're definitely here to feed something," Draco smirked suddenly, pale face twisted in slight amusement. One of Ron's eyebrows quirked upwards, and he and Hermione turned to stare incredulously at Draco.

"You mean you know why the carcasses…" Hermione began.

"Extispicy," Harry interrupted sharply, folding his arms across his chest and fixing Draco with a heavy glare. Draco's mouth opened, then shut, and then somewhere inside Draco's head a light switched on.

"Extispicy," Draco repeated, nodding hastily.

"Extra spicy?" Ron blurted out, looking from Draco to Harry, then back to Draco again. "What?"

"Extispicy," Harry repeated slowly. "It's for the Divinations section of our General Studies OWL. It's the art of ripping open a dead animal and looking at its intestines to predict the future."

"The ancient Romans used to do it a lot," Draco supplied. "Very popular amongst the muggles as well as the witches and wizards."

"My, I admire how you put that, Harry," Hermione said, a little shaken.

Ron looked a little upset. "I knew it was a bad idea not doing General Studies!"

"Oh, no, it was a very good idea," Harry said, laughing a little.

"Yes," Draco added. "Ripping up animals, smuggling in illegal --oomph!"

Hermione and Ron stared in complete shock as Draco wasn't allowed to finish his sentence. What was stopping Draco from finishing his sentence, or indeed talking in general, was the way Harry had seemingly out of nowhere pushed him up against the wall and was now firmly kissing him.

Ron and Hermione exchanged a startled glance.

Draco let out a startled squeak as hot, determined lips claimed his own. He stood there, overwhelmed, helpless for a few long seconds until his brain kicked in. This is like it was before… Warm against him, it was nothing more than Harry's lips pressed to his own, but the rush of warmth that spread through him that danced across his skin and tingled down his spine was enough to tell him that… That this wasn't worth ignoring.

His brain fuzzy, he barely registered when Harry pulled away, and twisted his head, to see if anyone was around. From the looks of things, Hermione and Ron had run off. Draco's mind was reeling, and he was aware of the dull flush that was colouring his neck and his cheeks. Trying to get his breath back, he glanced up briefly at Harry, who was looking away from him steadfastly.

"You were going to tell them about you-know-who," Harry whispered, still looking away from Draco.

Draco blinked, startled. "Voldemort?"

Harry turned suddenly, one eyebrow raised and eyes wide with surprise. "I.. Uh… No… The you-know-whats…" His gaze met Draco's for a moment, and he flinched. Harry was having trouble staying still, and he tapped his fingers against his leg before pulling away with an irritated sigh.

"If McGonagall returns, tell her I needed to go to the little wizard's room," Harry muttered softly, his back rigid as he stalked away stiffly.

As Draco watched Harry go, his mind ran over what Harry's meaning had been and he collapsed against the wall in despair. Harry had just kissed him to stop him from being an idiot and telling Hermione and Ron about the vampires, and he'd actually thought Harry had… What? Wanted this? Wanted him?

Wanted him like he wanted Harry?

-----

Harry kept his head down. What on earth had he been thinking? It would have been easier for him to cut in, say something witty, and then make sure Hermione and Ron left quickly, but nooooooo, he had to do something dumb and mess it all up!

He felt his cheeks darken, and didn't even notice that he passed Hermione and Ron in the hallway.

It was all simple. He'd have to avoid Dra-- Malfoy. He'd have to avoid Malfoy for the rest of the year, and then, then he was free to do whatever he wished without feeling he was completely losing control.

"Hello, dear, I thought you'd be passing by right about now."

Harry stopped still at the silvery voice and turned sharply to see Professor Trelawney, eyes wide and clad in a shimmering blue cloak that swept to the floor. "Had a little incident with Mr. Malfoy?"

Harry's mouth dropped open. "I… I…"

Professor Trelawney patted him on the shoulder gently, a hint of a smile on her face. "Come on, come sit with me for a little while," she instructed gently. "We can have a nice cup of tea, and discuss those Occlumency essays due on Tuesday, before we head off to the dungeons for tonight's activities."

Harry nodded slowly, almost glad of the reprieve, but he felt her curious gaze on him and he sighed. The problem with divination teachers, even ex-divination teachers, and especially with ex-divination teachers who'd had three actual predictions of the future, was that they did know way too much about the future. At least there was only an hour to go till tonight's activity…

His head lurched up despite himself.

Tonight's activity.

Tonight was Friday.

Tonight was invisible fighting night.

Harry sighed bitterly as Professor Trelawney busied herself with a teapot.

So much for avoiding Draco then.