Chapter 15

The night had become late, leaving Hitomi in her room to her thoughts. For some reason she seemed to not be able to get rid of the vision of the kiss floating around in her mind. She knew that she enjoyed it and now she desperately tried to deny that pure enjoyment. She was realizing what was happening to her and for some reason, she hated it. She sat up, biting her nails pondering what to do about her current predicament.

"I know I love him. I just don't want to. I don't deserve to be loved. I have made so many mistakes in my life. I killed the only one person who really did care about me and now an other does. I don't want to hurt him, I don't want to kill him."

The tears ran down her face like the rain in a vicious rain storm. Her quiet sniffles and sobs filling her completely silent room. She hoped he wouldn't hear her like he had before. She sat there on her bed, rocking back and forth crying. What would she do. She had to get away from him. If she stayed any longer, she would give in to his love. She would tell him that she loved him, and that was the last thing that she wanted to do. After about 2 hours of sitting and entencely thinking she came to a conclusion. She was to leave this place tonight. If she didn't go now, there would be no way out. Tomorrow was her day off and after that the movie would be finished. The director had let her know that the love scene was the last scene that she had to shoot. She was free to go. She got up from her bed and slowly and quietly began packing all of her things. Van had bought her a necklace as a thank you present for shooting the movie with him. She took it off of her neck and set it on top of the dresser. She felt that it wasn't her place to take it. She knew that her leaving would hurt him. She emptied all of the dresser drawers as well as the clothes that belonged to her in the closet. She folded them neatly and packed them in to a suitcase. After packing her clothes she gathered her other belongings. She left one outfit out to change in to. She knew that wearing her pajamas outside wasn't a good idea. She finished getting dressed and quietly slipped out of her room and down the stairs; being careful not to wake anyone. She went in to one of the offices that wasn't locked and used the phone to call a cab to the airport. From there, she hoped that maybe she might be able to get a flight back home. She had left all of her money that she had been paid and that she had saved from the previous flight here in Van's safe. She ran upstairs once again to the cupboard where he kept the safe. She hoped that the key would be in the cupboard. She opened the door and saw no key.

"Dammit! Now where the hell would he keep that!"

She looked in all the cupboards that she had access to and there was nothing. She went in to the last place she figured that the keys would be. That was Van's room. She turned the knob quietly; insuring not to wake him. She could hear him snoring so that was a good sign. She crept slowly across the room to the cabnit across from his huge bed. She slowly pulled out the top drawer. It creaked slightly which made Van twitch in his sleep. She shivered in fear of him waking up. If he did she would have to explain hirself. She instantly saw the silver keychain with all of his keys on it and grabbed it quickly and quietly; trying not to move anything else in the drawer out of place. She quietly closed the drawer and left the room in the same manner she had come in. She could hear a noise from downstairs that sounded like feet. She clicked Van's door shut and dashed back in to her own room. She hadn't been caught had she?

After standing by the door listening intently for about five minutes, the feet had retreated in to a room on the second floor. Coming from the direction that they were coming from, Hitomi figured that it was only Folcan so she continued on her journey to the cupboard where the safe was. She opened the cupboard and grabbed the safe. It was heavy to Hitomi, but she needed her money. There was little time considering that she had told the cab to meet her in an hour and a half at the end of the street which held the mansion of Van Fannel. She quickly opened the safe and grabbed the money that belonged to her out of it. She closed it shut and ran back upstairs to Van's room. Instead of going in there, she took the keys to her own room and began to write her final goodbye to her best friend. She sat down at the desk before her and grabbed the paper and pen; beginning to write.

Dear Van,

I'm sure you are really worried but I don't want you to be. There were many reasons why I had to leave here. These reasons are not ones that I can discuss right now.

The tears were once again rolling down her face, hitting the bottom of the paper. She hated doing this to him, but she also hated herself so much that she felt that this was best for both of them in the long run.

I don't want you to hate me Van. It's taking me a lot of strength to do this to you. It's not like I want to leave, I just have to. I feel as if

I may have over stayed my welcome. I want to thank you and your brother for everything. You guys have been all out wonderful to me. I hope that sometime, I can contact you again. You mean the world to me Van. You mean so much that it hurts and I need the hurt to stop. I won't be attending the movie premiere with you and I probably won't even deal with any of the press. Shooting it was great, but I don't deserve the recignission. That movie was for an other person to shoot not me. I also want to thank you for the sing and dance in Tokyo. The first one I mean. I felt wonderful. Well I hope all goes well in your life and that maybe like I said we can talk again but for now this is best. Please don't follow me and look for me. I don't want to be found. I want to be left alone. Back in the country where I belong. Once again, thanks for everything. Sorry for opening your safe with out your permission, I needed my money. Sorry I couldn't say goodbye to your face. I just didn't have the heart to.

Love Always Hitomi

PS. Good luck with the movie. I'll have to watch us on screen someday.

She folded the paper nicely and set the silver keychain containing the keys that she had used on top of it. She closed the door to her room and quickly rushed down the stairs with a tear streaked face. She slipped on her shoes and picked up her suitcases that she had dragged down the stairs with her. She made her way outside quietly closing the doors of the mansion behind her. The cool night air made her shiver. It felt good in a sense though, but she couldn't figure out why. She walked down the street not looking back. This was truely goodbye. When she reached the bottom of the street she sat in the grass waiting for her taxi. As if the cab could sense her impatience, it arrived and she climbed in. The driver took Hitomi's things and piled them in to the trunk. She had recognized him from the night that she had gone on the date with Allen. The questions were sure to come now. Sure enough, her thoughts were right.

"What are you doing leaving with all of this stuff at this time of night Ms.?"

"You wouldn't understand sir. I need to go back home. It was because of a family matter."

"I see, that makes sense then. So you want to go to the airport right?"

"Yes, I do."

The rest of the drive remained silent and they finally reached the airport. The driver helped Hitomi take her things inside even though she re assured him that she was very capable herself. She convinced him that she was fine and made her way to the ticket counter. "Are their any tickets to Maine on a flight going out tonight?"

The man behind the counter looked at her like she was crazy.

"Look young lady, I can't issue tickets like that. We live in a very security tight world these days, and even if I could there aren't any to issue you anyway."

Hitomi frown and decided that she wasn't going to argue with this man. She quickly made her way out of the lines and down to where the bus station was. She hoped that the bus trip wouldn't be too long. She had managed to get a ticket for a 5 AM. Bus back to Maine and that would only be an other 2 hour wait. She was so tired though. She wasn't sure of how she could keep her eyes open. She grabbed a book out of her backpack and read it until the call for the bus came over a loud speaker. After putting her luggage on to the bus, she climbed on. Here she was, leaving all of it behind. Her hopes, her dreams and the man she finally managed to fall in love with. As she pulled away her eyes filled up with tears once again. She felt hurt over come her heart, but knew that it was too late. An old woman looked over at her from across the isle with a look of sympathy. Hitomi noticed her and said "I did this to myself. I was stupid to leave, but now I have to return home" The lady couldn't understand anything she was saying, but kept her eyes on her. Hitomi eventually fell asleep until she reached home. When she got home, there would be a lot of explaining to do to those around her. Had she made the right decision, or had she made the mistake of her life?

To Be Continued