Here's the rest!  Hope you've enjoyed it!

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Disclaimer: See the beginning.

***

The gates creaked and groaned and slid heavily open.  When the travelers had entered the two Orc guards that they had talked to greeted them.  They both looked the same in feature though one was a little shorter.

"Hi," one mumbled stupidly. "We are the guards of the Black Gates, I'm Bob, and this here's George."

"Hi," George waved.

"We have a little pamphlet for you describing the wonderful vacation spot of Mount Doom.  It comes with a free mud bath and spa.  It's a lovely place for vacationing because there is a great view from the top of it.  If you book now, you can get a free trip to the Bland Canyon.  This vacation package is available at a concession stand in the Dead Marshes and various spots around Mordor.  It's really cheap but it doesn't sell very well."

"Where's the Bland Canyon?" Pippin asked.

"You're standing in it," answered George.

"Get on with it," one of the Uruk-hai yelled.

Bob looked slightly confused at this and turned to the travelers.

"What was I talking about?"

"Something about a vacation spot," replied one of the Uruk-hai who looked mildly interested. 

"Oh, right.  The package is only $9.99 and you have to sign this here so that any injuries you may sustain, the Land of Mordor is not responsible."

"Hey! I'll take one!!" said a few of the Uruk-hai.

The rest of them just rolled their eyes.

"Do you guys have a map of Mordor or something?" asked Pippin.

"We don't need a map!" Aragorn said sounding offended.

"Oh, riiight," said Pippin.

"Well, we do have this one map, but it's for the employees of The Land of Mordor only," said George.

"Well, isn't that a coincidence!" said Merry, "I just got hired today and I never got a map."

The Bob and George looked mildly confused at him, but, with Merry being covered from head to toe in mud, (an unfortunate accident in the dead marches) it wasn't hard to imagine that he could be an orc in training.

"You didn't?  Well then take this one," said Bob, handing him a map.

"Thanks," Merry said.

Then the group of travelers were on their way toward the tower where the great eye stared down at them.  They reached the door of the tower and knocked on it. 

"Duh, who is it?"

"Oh, not this again," Legolas sighed.

"Well," said the voice, "If that's who you are, then I don't know you."

"No, we are travelers trying to send an important message," Aragorn stated.

"And if you know what's good for you, you'll open the door," Gimli added.

Legolas looked at Gimli, who shrugged in reply.

There were some muffled whispers on the other side of the door.

"Well," came the voice at last, "I don't really know what's good for me so… no you can't come in."

"What not?!" asked Pippin.

"Uh… you might be spies?"

"If we're spies," Sam said, "Then how would we have gotten by the gate?"

"Oh, ummm…" (More whispering) "I guess you can come in then."

The door swung open and crushed some not so fortunate Uruk-hai in the way of it.  The elves looked pleased.

Gimli, Legolas, Aragorn and Gandalf the White went into the tower.  They climbed a very, very long winding stairway, through a trap door and, at last, they came to the platform where the eye sat staring.

"Um…" Gimli said awkwardly, "Sauron, the sky is falling and we must tell Gandalf!"

"(Mordorian)" Sauron replied.

"Wha'd he say?" asked Legolas.

"He asked you why you didn't ask me," said Gandalf the White.

"Oh," Legolas thought, "Because you don't have the kind of experience to deal with the situation.  No offence."

"I see," Gandalf said wearily.

"(Mordorian)" Sauron said.

"What did he say now?" asked Gimli.

"He said that this is such a serious problem, that he feels the need to come with us."

"Really?" asked Aragorn.

"How are we going to carry him?" asked Legolas.

"(Mordorian)" Sauron suggested.

"He said," said Gandalf the White, before anyone could ask, "That there is a wheelbarrow in the shed out behind the tower and some rope that we could lower him onto it with.  He has summoned some Orcs to get it."

A few moments later an Orc appeared at the trap door. 

"(Mordorian)" the Orc said and handed a long rope to Gandalf who, extremely carefully tied it around the eye.  Even though he did this very carefully, he succeeded in getting a few second-degree burns.  Then gently they lowered the Eye of Sauron to the wheelbarrow.  Half way down a breeze caught Sauron and he banged against the tower.

"(Mordorian)!!!!" He yelled up angrily.

"Sorry!!!" yelled the Orcs who were lowering him.

The eye mumbled nasty sounding Mordorian words as he continued decent. 

As soon as he landed in the wheelbarrow, some Orcs came and wheeled the eye toward the group. 

Sooooo Gimli the dwarf, Legolas and Elrond the elves and the whole city of Rivendell, Aragorn, Boromir and Faramir the humans and the whole city of Gondor, Frodo, Merry, Pippin and Sam the hobbits, Sméagol the former hobbit-like thing, Galadriel and the peoples of Lothlorian, and Saruman the wise with his armies of Uruk-hai, and Gandalf the White with his horse Shadowfax, Treebeard the Ent and all his Ent friends and the Eye of Sauron went looking for Gandalf the Grey.

The group decided to leave The Land of Mordor a different way then the one that they had come.  They began to walk toward the secret entrance to Mordor.  As they entered the cave, which only the Uruk-hai refused to go into, (because they are smarter than the average Orc) the rest entered.

Half way down the passage, they came to, by the light of the light of Elendiel that Galadriel had given Frodo, the light from Sauron's eye and the light of Gandalf's staff, a huge spider. 

When they came close to her she scuttled back in fear of the light. 

"Shelob!" Gandalf yelled.

The spider hesitated and turned, and eyed them with all eight eyes.

"The sky is falling," Gandalf said to her.

"Why should I care?" she hissed at them.

"Can we use your passage then?" asked Gandalf, who appeared to be the only one brave enough to talk to a giant spider.

"Ssssssssss," Shelob considered it. "No."

"Why?" asked Pippin, suddenly very courageous.

"Sssss, little snacks should not ask questions," Shelob hissed.

Pippin cowered next to Merry.

"Want some Orcs?" Saruman asked mildly.

At this, the Orcs started and stared at him.

"Ssssssssss, if I did, would I have to let you use my passage?"

"Yes," replied Gandalf.

"Ssss, How many?" Shelob asked.

"152763?" offered Saruman.

"Deal," Shelob confirmed.

There was a great noise of clattering metal at this and all looked back and saw the Orc shields clattering on the ground.

"I'm afraid you might have to try to catch them yourself," Saruman said.

Shelob hissed with pleasure.

"Sss'aright, I haven't had a good chase in a thousand years."

With a great leap, Shelob cleared the travelers and scuttled very quickly after the retreating Orcs.

The elves cheered.

The company went on and soon they stood at the mouth of the cave on the other side of Mordor.

"Well, that went well," Saruman said cheerfully.

A few of the few Orcs still left stared at him coldly.

Then they spotted some Nazgûl riding on a winged creature.

The company tried to get their attention but all they did was scream at them and fly away.

 "AAAAaaaaaa!" They screamed.

"What are they saying?" someone asked Gandalf.

"Something about a wedgie?" Gandalf said looking puzzled.

Off in the distance, the travelers could see a rather small and strange looking company.  When they got closer they heard the tall one with a pointy hat and staff shout to a girl with a bow:

"Lleve a cabo sus posiciones. Encienda las plumas!!!!" The pointy orange hat girl shouted.

"Huh?" asked the girl with the bow. "Is that Spanish?"

"I have no idea if it is or if it isn't," the pointy hat girl retorted, "Just, Lleve a cabo sus posiciones. Encienda las plumas!!!!"

"Well, I would, but I don't know what that means."

"It means-"

"It means," said another tall figure with long hair, "Hold your positions and fire the pens."

"Huh?" asked pointy hat.

"That's what you said, and, yes, it's Spanish," the other tall girl said.

"So what if it was?" asked pointy hat.

"It's middle earth!" the tall longhaired one said, "How would you expect anyone here to know Spanish?!"

The pointy hat girl shrugged.

The tall one stepped forward to greet the band of Middle Earth peoples and said;

"Aiya, (hello) I am Chelsegorn, and these are my companions, Katrinolas, Jandalf, Lindo, and Taffy."

"Hi,"

"Saesa omentien lle (pleasure meeting you)," Elrond said to them.

Everyone but Chelsegorn and Jandalf stared blankly.  They just smiled.

Lindo caught sight of Aragorn and started giggling hysterically. 

"What?" he asked.

"Hee, hee, hee, haa, haa, ha!  Chin butt!!" Lindo doubled over laughing.

The elves snickered. Jandalf stifled a laugh. 

"You'll have to excuse my friend," Chelsegorn said.

Lindo continued to laugh until her face turned red and she fell over.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha!!  Ohh, ha, ha, I'm dieing, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…"

"Get over it, will you?  You're not making a good impression," Jandalf scolded.

"Hee, hee, hee, hee…"

Jandalf sighed.

"You'll have to excuse her as Chelsegorn said," Jandalf said.

Gimli came to the front of the crowd and said to them,

"There seems to be a major problem.  The sky is falling and we must tell Gandalf."

"Why don't you ask him?" asked Chelsegorn, indicating Gandalf the White.

"He doesn't really have the experience to deal with this," Gimli replied.

"Oh," Jandalf said, considering, "Well then, if Lindo hasn't killed herself by now, we will come with you."

Sooooo Gimli the dwarf, Legolas and Elrond the elves and the whole city of Rivendell, Aragorn, Boromir and Faramir the humans and the whole city of Gondor, Frodo, Merry, Pippin and Sam the hobbits, Sméagol the former hobbit-like thing, Galadriel and the peoples of Lothlorian, and Saruman the wise with his armies of Uruk-hai, and Gandalf the White with his horse Shadowfax, Treebeard the Ent and all his Ent friends and the Eye of Sauron, Shelob the spider, and Jandalf, Chelsegorn, Lindo, and Katrinolas went looking for Gandalf the Grey.

Soon they came to the walls of Moria and they entered.  While traveling through the dwarf city of Dwarendell, the Balrog decided that he wanted to rid himself of these trespassers.  He came out and roared at them for a bit.  But then it appeared that they wanted to talk to him.  This confused the Balrog immensely.

"Balrog! The sky is falling!!  We must tell Gandalf!!!" Legolas shouted.

"Why would it make a difference if it did or didn't if I'm in a mountain?" the Balrog questioned.

"Uh… Because if the sky fell, so would the mountain?" asked Pippin.

"Oh, I see, well then I'll come with you."

Sooooo Gimli the dwarf, Legolas and Elrond the elves and the whole city of Rivendell, Aragorn, Boromir and Faramir the humans and the whole city of Gondor, Frodo, Merry, Pippin and Sam the hobbits, Sméagol the former hobbit-like thing, Galadriel and the peoples of Lothlo0rian, and Saruman the wise with his armies of Uruk-hai, and Gandalf the White with his horse Shadowfax, Treebeard the Ent and all his Ent friends and the Eye of Sauron, Shelob the spider, Jandalf, Chelsegorn, Lindo, and Katrinolas and the Balrog went looking for Gandalf the Grey.

After many days of marching, most of Middle Earth came to the Shire.  They went to Bag End and found Bilbo.

"Bilbo! Bilbo! The sky is falling, the sky is falling!  We MUST TELL GANDALF!!!!!!!!!"  Frodo shouted.

"Can I try my old ring on again?" asked Bilbo.

"NEVER!!!"  Frodo yelled back at him.

"Oh, well, I'll come with you anyway," Bilbo said.

Sooooo Gimli the dwarf, Legolas and Elrond the elves and the whole city of Rivendell, Aragorn, Boromir and Faramir the humans and the whole city of Gondor, Frodo, Merry, Pippin and Sam the hobbits, Sméagol the former hobbit-like thing, Galadriel and the peoples of Lothlo0rian, and Saruman the wise with his armies of Uruk-hai, and Gandalf the White with his horse Shadowfax, Treebeard the Ent and all his Ent friends and the Eye of Sauron, Shelob the spider, Jandalf, Chelsegorn, Lindo, and Katrinolas, the Balrog and Bilbo the hobbit went looking for Gandalf the Gray.

Finally their journey came to an end when most of Middle Earth came to the tree that Gimli had begun from.  There they found Gandalf still sleeping under the tree.

"GANDALF!!!!  GANDALF!!!!! THE SKY IS FALLING!!!  THE SKY IS FALLING!!!  WHAT DO WE DO!!!"

Gandalf woke with a start. 

"What?"

"THE SKY IS FALLING!!!"

"Now wait just a second," Gandalf said then paused looking at the white version of himself.

"Who are you?"

"Uh, you.  I think," Gandalf the White said.

"Oh.  Well, peoples of Middle Earth, you have nothing to fear.  The sky is NOT falling.  Gimli, how many times have I told you to stop reading those horror stories before bed."

Gimli looks sheepish.  Everyone looks slightly peeved that he pulled them out of their nice warm homes to go on a crusade that had a stupid ending. The Balrog, however, was not slightly peeved.  He was furious.

"So, that was it?" he bellowed.

"Uh, yeah." said Legolas, who was still in a mild state of shock.

"SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELVES?!!"

"Umm, thank you for playing?" Aragorn suggested.

The Balrog gave Aragorn the look of Death.

"Gimli has a really wild imagination," Gandalf said trying, though not quite succeeding, to soothe the Balrog.

"Well…" Pippin said, "It was kind of fun."

The Balrog  looked like he didn't think so and was still quite annoyed at Legolas, Gimli, Aragorn, the hobbits and Gandalf the Grey. He said to them:

"You have taken me out of Moria for no reason!!!  Now you will suffer my wrath!!" 

The Balrog raised himself to his fullest height and bellowed something unintelligible then stomped away, causing small brushfires in his wake.  The rest of middle earth followed and some tried vainly to put the fires out.  Only the fellowship minus Boromir and plus Jandalf, Chelsegorn and Lindo remained.

"What was that all about?" Pippin asked.

"Where's Gimli?" Legolas wondered.

The whole gang turned around and noticed that in the place of Gimli lay a very pink, fuzzy pickle with eyes.

Everyone began to laugh.

"Hold on, I'll put an end to this," Jandalf said.

She stepped forward and said:

"Blah, blah, blah, something about stealth

Turn this dwarf back into himself."

The pickle grew and grew until it was as big as the Balrog.

"Umm, yes," Jandalf said, "That does sometimes happen."

Gandalf the Grey reversed everything and in the end everything was back to normal.

Then one sunny day on July the fifth, Pansy Proudfoot the Hobbit decided to go for a walk. He spied a tree in the distance and decided that he would stop there and rest.  As he neared it, he noticed the freshly ripe lembas gleaming in the sun.  He sat under the tree and leaned against the trunk.  He took a relaxing breath and closed his eyes.

'Thwack'

THE END!

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Thank you for the Reviews everyone!  And watch out for the Lembas Trees!