Welcome everyone, to another installment of Guns and Illuminators, this is your captain speaking, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
And so begins the third chapter…
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Walking, walking, walking. I'm always walking. Burn it! Why can't I ever get a break here!
Jetrin wasn't very happy at the moment. After his conversation with the watchman, he'd begun walking around the walls of this "Edmonds Field", wherever that was. He'd checked his gun, just to see if it was broken, when, joy of joys, it was bent out of shape. They better have a blacksmith here, he thought darkly.
The first long moments of silence were all right, yet after a while, he felt irritated enough of it to turn and ask Meria, who had lagged behind, a question.
"Tell me Meria, why exactly does your town have a big wall around it… with only one entry… facing away from the direction most people would arrive. It's not exactly genius."
Meria looked at him as if he were a fool. "If we placed the entry in the direction of the main road, any attackers would have an easy way in. Putting it on the other side makes it safer." She said this all in a matter of fact tone.
Oh, of course. I certainly heard of people attacking towns in the middle of nowhere. I also know all about the towns with only one entry. There's only one town like that, and that's this bloody foolish town. Although Jetrin wanted to say all this, he held back. Instead he asked, "Who would attack this town? And why?"
Meria, having now caught up to Jetrin, continued past him. Well go ahead, ignore my question, walk right by me you little… Jetrin would have finished that thought, but she responded as she walked on.
"Trollocs, Whitecloaks, Myrdraals, they've all attacked us not too long ago. We have to keep safe, so we've been building a wall."
Trollocs, Whitecloaks, and Myrdraals?!?! What kind of town have I landed in? Jetrin, not wanting to be left behind, started walking too. Keeping a steady pace, he repeated the latter half of his previous question.
"What were they here for?"
"They came for Lord Perrin," Meria answered. Jetrin noticed that she spoke the name Lord Perrin with respect, a tone of voice he did not expect from her.
Well, looks like she can be respectful… Wait, Perrin… I've heard that name before, at an inn maybe? Now what was it again…? Perrin something, Perrin something something, Perrin Golden something. Oh wait, I've got it, it was…
"Perrin Goldenpies!" he shouted out. But after thinking for a moment, what would someone called Goldenpies do? Bake well?, he mumbled to himself, "No wait, that's not right either…"
His sudden shout brought Meria's attention on him. She looked a bit insulted at what he said. Stopping for a moment, she waited until he reached her and hit him lightly with the back of her hand.
"Ouch. Hey, what was that for?" asked Jetrin with a perplexed expression. That hurt about as much as a snowflake falling on me… when I'm wearing a heavy coat.
Meria replied indignantly, "That's for insulting Lord Perrin. It's Perrin Goldeneyes, not pies. Where would you get such a stupid name from? Do you think he's famous for baking?"
…well that's exactly what I was thinking a second ago. He knew better than to say that though. Instead he said, "Well I'm sorry. I got that name from overhearing some other people's conversation. They may have said eyes, but I was hungry at the time so I heard pies."
She still looked indignant, so Jetrin quickly began to try diverting her attention. "So, this Lord Perrin of yours, Trollocs, Whitecloaks, and Myrdraals wanted him. I can only assume that you and your fellow townsfolk fought a battle against those hostile forces and won."
Meria looked less indignant as he spoke. "Yes," she said, "all that happened, then Lord Perrin suggested that we build a wall around our town in order to protect it. However, he left not too long ago, and we're still working on the wall."
Ahh… well I guess that explains the wall to me. And I guess… hey, wait. If the walls not completed, why is it that I've only been seeing completed parts so far?
"Excuse me, Meria. If the wall is incomplete, how come all we've been seeing is complete portions of it?"
"Well Jetrin, this half if the wall is complete. The opposite side is still being worked on."
…oh come on. That's just not right. "You mean to tell me, that if instead of turning left, if I had turned right I would be in the town by now?"
Meria thought for a second then nodded. "Yes, I guess you would," she agreed.
AUGHHH!!! WHY DOES THIS KIND OF THING ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME!!! Because of one wrong turn, I've had to walk for a much longer time than I needed to! Light, burn my bones to ash!
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Huh. Jetrin's got a lot of stupid problems, doesn't he? He keeps his thoughts to himself but he gets pissed a lot. I don't think he'll suffer too much, especially since this fic is only supposed to be partly humorous, but who knows? They havent's even gone into Edmonds Field yet. Maybe Jetrin just attracts problems. Eh, what are you gonna do?
Reviews:
She Who Walks the Night: Sorry about not responding before. I wrote the chapter and had updated when I thought to myself, "Let me check my reviews. I may have some more!" So I couldn't respond. As for Jetrin's sarcasm, at least he keeps it to himself, right? And thanks for the tip about anonymous reviews. I though it was already set to accept, but now I've fixed it, so thanks again.
Jonathon Ryder: Jay? Who's Jay? What's a titchy? As for E[d]monds Field, that was a mistake. I would go change that, but hey, let's see how many people notice it. As for the chick, just some random resident of Edmonds Field who didn't exist in the books. Nothing special really, at least not so far. As for the Word to html thing, I like having spaces between paragraphs. I think it helps the reader keep organized if everything isn't mashed together.
Dave: Well… Thanks, thanks, and thanks again.
