Hello again all of you! I would like to thank all of you for tuning in here, many thanks for all your comments; they truly make my day a little brighter!

WARNING: Possible spoilers, if you haven't seen or read past the Kyoto Arc, don't read this. And also, big surprise: I have no rights to Kenshin or his friends; those belong to Watsuki Nobuhiro, Shueisha, Sony Entertainment and Jump Comics. Please review, flames accepted with a tolerant smile. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride

Last time in Bended Shadows:

Kaoru just shook her head, tears falling silently. "Just leave me alone for a bit, please?"

The three friends looked at each other quickly. Then, nodding, they all silently withdrew from the room.

Kaoru sat, tears wracking her small body. Finally, she claimed control again. She looked around the room, her eyes setting on the katana next to her. She picked it up, and slowly unsheathed the blade . . .

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She stared at the blade, her eyes locked on the tiny specks of dried blood remaining on otherwise spotless metal. I really killed them. I've worked so hard to live by my fathers teachings. And after all the times I've stopped Kenshin from flipping his blade over . . .

In my first true test, I killed. I don't even know how many. The worst part is . . . I would do it again. I know I would. I never really understood before. I don't think I would ever draw a blade to save myself, I would rather die. But to save my friends, to save Kenshin: yes, I would do it again. Tears started rolling down her face again.

"What does that make me?" she whispered to the sword.

Kenshin will never forgive me. No matter what Megumi says. He would rather have died, than for me to have killed to save him. I know I would have. He will never condone me taking lives. Whenever he looks at me after this, what will he see? He will blame himself as well, for things in his past, that come back to haunt us here. She sheathed the blade and stood. "But I would still do it again, every time. Who am I?"

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Kaoru sat on the front porch of the Dojo, watching the sky explode with color as the sun made a glorious exit out of the sky's over Japan. The breeze picked up strands of her unbound hair and they swam around her, framing her sad eyes.

Yahiko stood for a moment, watching her, marveling at how much older, wiser and beautiful the oneesan of his heart looked. But her eyes have lost the light in them. She hasn't hit me once, or yelled at me once, in the two days since she returned home.

She looks . . . Tragic. He closed his eyes and sighed softly, wishing that he knew what to do, what to say to help her. But the only one who could do that, he knew, was still unconscious at Megumi's office. 

Kaoru felt him behind her. "Yahiko." She called out softly.

He sat down beside her, laying his hand over hers. "What is it Kaoru?"

She looked up, startled yet again at his gentle action. Even he sees me differently now. Concerned looks, a touch of the hand when once he would have hit me over the head with his bokken. He still looks up at me. He sees me as a hero, but I have done nothing but turn from the lessons I have tried these past years to teach him; as my father once taught me. She looked away from him, blinking back the tears. She didn't know why it was important to look strong now, when she knew he had seen her breakdown, but it was. He was the only one who she could still see believing in her. It was unfounded belief, but it soothed her, her little brother . . .

I cannot continue to teach him. I find myself so torn, I believe in my fathers teaching, but I am also not sorry for what I did, not deep down at any rate. As long as I question, I am not worthy to teach the Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu. That is if I ever was worthy . . .  

Yahiko watched the flickers of emotion: pride, concern, fear, pain, and determination flicker across her face. He was still at a loss, he knew she was very upset about her actions, but he didn't truly understand. As far as he was concerned, she did what she had to do to save Kenshin, how she thought the others should blame her for that he just couldn't comprehend. He had tried to talk to her, he knew the others had as well, but she shut them all out.

"Yahiko, I need for you to do something for me." This is it, the only way. I never really understood before. Why Kenshin wandered. I thought I did. But until now, I never truly realized . . .

"Anything busu, just name it" He smiled at her forcefully, hoping she wouldn't be able to see how worried he was.

She almost laughed at his effort, but she just couldn't bring that small smile in her heart forward to reach her lips. "I want you to tell Kenshin . . ." she took a deep breath, and sighed, resolutely. "Tell Kenshin that I'm sorry."

Yahiko stared at her for a moment, completely baffled, "Busu! Tell him yourself!" Then, very slowly, like a bitter poison, horror crept over his body.  He felt his hand start to shake, and griped hers tighter, as if he would never, ever let go. No!!! No! I won't let her! I can stop her! She can't leave me here! She has to stay, she just has to!

Kaoru felt a coil of doubt twist in her stomach as she watched Yahiko slowly realize what she was going to do. He was cutting off the circulation in her hand, but she let him hold on, for a little while longer. She understood how he was feeling. She had felt that way once, as she watched the fireflies and said goodbye to Kenshin.

"I have to go Yahiko." She whispered softly, "I'm sorry."

"NO! No, you don't have to go! Dammit Kaoru! We need you here, Kenshin needs you!    . . . I need you here." His stomach muscled clenched; a fear unlike any he had ever known was seeping into his heart. As cold as he had felt that day that Kaoru and Kenshin had gone missing. He had known that he was losing her that day. Then he had felt such relief, when he saw her standing there. Only to realize now, a week later, that he had indeed lost her then. He looked down at their linked hands, and then pulled away forcefully.

"Who wants an old busu girl teaching them anyway!? I don't need you Karou, and I won't pass your stupid message along to Kenshin either! If you want him to know you have to tell him yourself! I'm not your errand boy!"  He let the anger bubble to the top, yelling out anything and everything that came to his mind, trying desperately to bury the tears and begging that threatened him under that thin ice of fury.

Kaoru never looked up at him, not once, through his entire fit. She just sat their calmly, taking verbal hit after verbal hit. Get it all out Yahiko, I know you are angry with me, I know you are hurting, but deep down, you also understand. That's why you will let me go. In the end, you will not try to stop me, just as I didn't try to stop Kenshin. If I thought you would, if he had thought I would have, there never would be a chance to say goodbye.

He was losing his own battle, he knew it, and tears started to stream down his face, his small body shook, and his voice cracked and broke as he yelled. Finally, he gave in. Yahiko collapsed into Kaoru's arms and cried his heart out.

She sat there, holding the sobbing child in her arms. She closed her eyes, and gently rocked him until she felt him relax in her arms. She allowed herself a few moments to hold the sleeping child, before gathering him in her arms, and carrying him to bed.

She smiled at him, "Goodbye Yahiko, take care of yourself, I am trusting you to teach the students now. I am so proud of who you are." She brushed a small wisp of hair off his face, and turned to leave. Just as she slid back the shoji, she heard a small voice whisper.

"Be safe . . . Oneesan."

He heard the shoji slide shut, and sat up, tears still streaming down his face. I'll give her enough time to get on the road, then I have to go find Sano, he'll know what to do.

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Kaoru finished wrapping her bandages around her chest, and pulled up her gi around her shoulders. I can't go in a kimono; I need to be able to move freely. It isn't entirely proper for me to be traveling like this, but then, when have I ever worried about proper before? She looked around the dojo once more, letting her eyes rest on her fathers bokken displayed on a shelf above her students name plaques. "I'm sorry father."

One that day, Kamiya Kaoru, became a rurouni, and into the shadows . . . she vanished, alone . . .

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A/N: Yes, that was almost a direct quote from volume 7 of the mangas. Just with Kaoru instead of Kenshin. J and no, that isn't the end. I had a few more chapters written and ready to be posted today actually, but then I had brainstorm and needed to change some things! I promise I will get the next one up as soon as possible. Any Seijuurou Hiko fans out there? Well, he will be making a big appearance in the next few chapters! He is probably the hardest character to write, especially since he is one of my favorites, and I need it to be as in character as possible. Please, read, review, and tell me what you think of my story, thus far.

A/N : Glossary

Chiburui - a sharp flick of the wrist, to clear excess blood from the blade, done deliberately, and menacingly.

Jou-Chan – Sano's name for Kaoru, roughly "Missy, or Little Missy"

Busu – Hag, or Ugly, Yahiko teases Kaoru with this name a lot.

Kami-Sama - God

Shoji – rice paper doors

Oneesan – "my elder sister"