A/N: So I lied. I know this was supposed to be a 6-9 part fic but it's turned out to be 11 parts... well, actually, 11 is next to 10 which is next to 9, so.... er, yeah, it sounds about right. *logic inspired by Jessica Simpson.* As always, thanks for the reviews.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
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Anna POV
"And you've still been losing money? Do you know what the mutual funds are composed of?" he asked the man sitting next to him.
Ryan had referred another friend to Seth for financial advice so for the past 30 minutes, they'd been talking shop. I'd tried to participate in the conversation , but after a while, my mind traveled and like it had for the past week, it settled on Ryan.
I didn't have to search hard to find him - he had been sitting in the same spot for the past hour. I would have preferred to be absent but Ryan had been talking about the event for the past three months and regardless of recent developments, we couldn't find an excuse good enough to skip it -it was the launching of the first album he executive produced and apparently was a huge deal.
I averted my eyes the second after he caught me staring. I was trying my hardest to keep my eyes off him and sometimes, I succeeded. But the problem was, even when I looked elsewhere or even shut them, I still saw him. My goodness. Even though I was conservative by some standards, I'd definitely seen my fair share of bare chests but for some reason, the memory of his just stuck with me. And I was dying an excruciatingly slow death. So what if every taut muscle on him reeked of alpha-maleness and as I stood there staring at him on that fateful day, I was already envisioning hearing his heart beat as I tasted the saltiness of his skin? So what if every time after that day, I mentally undressed him when I saw him? But it didn't matter - it was merely physical. I was sure his heart was probably as hard as the 6-pack he hid under his wife beaters. Besides, I knew that once I could get a handle on those little explicit vignettes my mind seemed hell bent on making me watch, I would get over it. In fact, I was sure that Ryan was the little obstacle that was meant to strengthen my relationship with Seth.
But for the past week, things had been rough. I was floored by Seth's question. Other than the sheer unexpectedness of it, I had no idea what the right answer was. I couldn't say "Yes," because other than hurting Seth, it was not even true. But annoyingly, "No," seemed just as untrue. I'd tried to say it at numerous times during that conversation but my lips refused. Plus, I think on some level, I just wanted him to end things with me. I definitely loved him, but at least that way, I wouldn't have been able to hurt him.
The truth was, his was the kind of love 'Harlequin' championed and only a fool would be stupid enough to reject it. I'd dated and fallen in love with enough idiots to know a good thing when I saw it. And Seth was one of the best things to happen to me. And the thought of the agony he must have gone through, even for one second, thinking about the possibility of his brother and I, tore my heart to pieces. I didn't know what even made him think it, but I had to make sure it wasn't Ryan.
I'd been searching for an opportunity to speak to him alone and when I saw him get up and leave his table, I grabbed it.
"Seth," I said, interrupting his conversation. "I'll be right back."
"Oh, I'm sorry, are we boring you?" he half joked.
"No. I'm just heading for the ladies, then maybe for some fresh air - it's getting a little stuffy in here. I'll be back in a few minutes."
It took me about five minutes to get through the crowd of sweaty, alcohol-buzzed partygoers but when I finally did, I found myself in a corridor flanked by the restrooms. After applying a fresh coat of lipgloss, I walked into the other room and called out his name to the surprise of the two men at the urinals. I got no response.
I went back to the corridor and walked a little further. After passing a room labeled 'Private,' I found myself staring at the back of a gray metal door. I pushed it and was met with a cloud of smoke. I turned in its direction to see Ryan in a stance reminiscent of James Dean. I would have thought it sexy if I cared.
I grabbed the cigarette from his mouth and threw it on the floor. I took three more steps then turned around to face him. I was met with a raised left eyebrow.
"What's that about?" he asked.
"I'm sure you've heard of the Surgeon-General," I countered sarcastically.
"And?"
"And, I'm sure you know it can kill you."
"Really? I didn't know... as I was just rescued from a deserted island."
I rolled my eyes. It was apparent that Seth had rubbed off on him a little too much. I watched him for a while, wondering what he was thinking but came up empty -sometimes he was so hard to read.
"Was there anything else?"
"Yeah.... I don't know how to say this but Seth seems to think that there's something going on between us."
"And...?"
"I was just wondering if you implied or said anything to him."
"Why would I say anything to him? You made it clear there was nothing between us," he said, staring directly into my eyes. I tried to look away but his glare was forcing them to stay put.
"Yes, there is nothing.... between us," I said, hoping that it didn't sound as unconvincing to him as it did to me. He was doing that thing with his eyes again. The thing that revved up my nerves and muddled up my entire thought process.
He nodded, still boring a hole into my eyeballs. "So... what's the problem?"
"It's just that, Seth..."
"Look, if your boyfriend doesn't trust you, that has nothing to do with me. Right?"
"I guess so." I didn't want to take the conversation any further. The nerves were causing a familiar sensation in my tummy. I really hated when Ryan looked at me that way. I started to leave when I saw him put that death trap in his mouth and light it up.
He grabbed my right hand before I could knock it off. Without much thought, I got the job done with my left.
"What's your problem?" he asked, still holding on to my hand.
"Why the fuck are you smoking?"
"What's it to you?"
"It's going to kill you, that's what! And let go of my hand!"
He complied.
"I didn't know you cared," he said nonchalantly.
"Of course I care, you're... my boyfriend's best friend. Why wouldn't I care?"
"Whatever."
I started to leave then changed my mind. I felt bad about my harshness and wanted to explain it him. I stood next to him, leaning on the same wall.
"You know my Dad died of cancer...."
His mouth formed an O. "I didn't know it was from smoking."
"Well, it was."
He shook his head sadly. "That sucks... You see, I only smoke when I'm really stressed. I haven't touched it in over a year," he explained.
I looked at him. "So, what's causing the stress today?" I asked, a little concerned because Ryan always seemed to have everything together. Seth wore his heart on his sleeve, so I always knew how he was feeling. But with Ryan, one could only guess. Hence, it was very interesting to discover that this side of him actually existed.
"Just work. I poured so much energy into this project that I don't know what I'll do if it doesn't work out," he mused looking back at me.
"It'll work out. Seth gave me an advance copy of their CD and I've already played it about four times," I fibbed.
"Really?"
"Really," I reassured him. We broke our gaze and stared at the silver Mercedes parked in front of us, instead.
"I see that it's off now," he commented after a little while.
"What?" I asked confused.
In a flash, he was standing in front of me, holding my hand to my face. My skin tingled at his touch.
"Your ring, that's what," he said, not looking anywhere near it.
"Oh," I said. My nerves had begun to act up again. "I figured it was time I got rid of it... I was holding on to it for too long."
"And...?"
"And... Seth said - "
He dropped my hand in disgust. My heart skipped a beat. I'd begun to enjoy the roughness of his fingers on me.
"Oh, I forgot.... you live your life for Seth and not for yourself."
"That's not fair!"
He shrugged. "It might not be fair, but it's definitely true."
I couldn't form any words of defense but I knew that he couldn't have been more wrong.
When I didn't say anything, he attempted to leave but was stopped by my hand. He was a little taken aback. My lips responded to the question his eyes had asked - but not like he'd expected. I knew I shouldn't have done it but all I wanted was to shut him up once and for all and prove him wrong about my living for Seth. But it got out of control.
He pushed my head against the wall and let his tongue explore the top of my teeth. Normally, I would have gagged at the taste of cigarette but my brain refused to produce the correct reaction. Indeed at that moment, I was sure my brain had stopped working altogether. Then he pushed himself further into my mouth and sucked my tongue with enough pressure to send an ache running through my body. Then, he pulled back. I parted my lips, begging, wanting him to continue to create the sensations that had infiltrated my blood stream, but he didn't till I opened my eyes and looked at him. After a few minutes, he allowed his tongue to travel from my lips to my collar bone and down to be middle of my chest. At this point, all I could do was allow my fingers to discover the peaks and valleys of his back muscles.
I was wearing a low-cut blouse that had strategically been cut, so all he had to do was slide the material aside. I gasped at the sudden exposure to the cold breeze but then gasped even louder at the sudden warmth of his wet tongue. Instead of just sucking it like Seth did, he teased it, initially just slightly skimming with his tongue before he even licked around it. My inner moisture was primed and I knew what I had to do to satisfy it. I reached for his belt buckle.
Ryan immediately stopped, then took three steps back.
"Yes. You're right, Anna. There's nothing between us," he said, right before he walked back into the club.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
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Anna POV
"And you've still been losing money? Do you know what the mutual funds are composed of?" he asked the man sitting next to him.
Ryan had referred another friend to Seth for financial advice so for the past 30 minutes, they'd been talking shop. I'd tried to participate in the conversation , but after a while, my mind traveled and like it had for the past week, it settled on Ryan.
I didn't have to search hard to find him - he had been sitting in the same spot for the past hour. I would have preferred to be absent but Ryan had been talking about the event for the past three months and regardless of recent developments, we couldn't find an excuse good enough to skip it -it was the launching of the first album he executive produced and apparently was a huge deal.
I averted my eyes the second after he caught me staring. I was trying my hardest to keep my eyes off him and sometimes, I succeeded. But the problem was, even when I looked elsewhere or even shut them, I still saw him. My goodness. Even though I was conservative by some standards, I'd definitely seen my fair share of bare chests but for some reason, the memory of his just stuck with me. And I was dying an excruciatingly slow death. So what if every taut muscle on him reeked of alpha-maleness and as I stood there staring at him on that fateful day, I was already envisioning hearing his heart beat as I tasted the saltiness of his skin? So what if every time after that day, I mentally undressed him when I saw him? But it didn't matter - it was merely physical. I was sure his heart was probably as hard as the 6-pack he hid under his wife beaters. Besides, I knew that once I could get a handle on those little explicit vignettes my mind seemed hell bent on making me watch, I would get over it. In fact, I was sure that Ryan was the little obstacle that was meant to strengthen my relationship with Seth.
But for the past week, things had been rough. I was floored by Seth's question. Other than the sheer unexpectedness of it, I had no idea what the right answer was. I couldn't say "Yes," because other than hurting Seth, it was not even true. But annoyingly, "No," seemed just as untrue. I'd tried to say it at numerous times during that conversation but my lips refused. Plus, I think on some level, I just wanted him to end things with me. I definitely loved him, but at least that way, I wouldn't have been able to hurt him.
The truth was, his was the kind of love 'Harlequin' championed and only a fool would be stupid enough to reject it. I'd dated and fallen in love with enough idiots to know a good thing when I saw it. And Seth was one of the best things to happen to me. And the thought of the agony he must have gone through, even for one second, thinking about the possibility of his brother and I, tore my heart to pieces. I didn't know what even made him think it, but I had to make sure it wasn't Ryan.
I'd been searching for an opportunity to speak to him alone and when I saw him get up and leave his table, I grabbed it.
"Seth," I said, interrupting his conversation. "I'll be right back."
"Oh, I'm sorry, are we boring you?" he half joked.
"No. I'm just heading for the ladies, then maybe for some fresh air - it's getting a little stuffy in here. I'll be back in a few minutes."
It took me about five minutes to get through the crowd of sweaty, alcohol-buzzed partygoers but when I finally did, I found myself in a corridor flanked by the restrooms. After applying a fresh coat of lipgloss, I walked into the other room and called out his name to the surprise of the two men at the urinals. I got no response.
I went back to the corridor and walked a little further. After passing a room labeled 'Private,' I found myself staring at the back of a gray metal door. I pushed it and was met with a cloud of smoke. I turned in its direction to see Ryan in a stance reminiscent of James Dean. I would have thought it sexy if I cared.
I grabbed the cigarette from his mouth and threw it on the floor. I took three more steps then turned around to face him. I was met with a raised left eyebrow.
"What's that about?" he asked.
"I'm sure you've heard of the Surgeon-General," I countered sarcastically.
"And?"
"And, I'm sure you know it can kill you."
"Really? I didn't know... as I was just rescued from a deserted island."
I rolled my eyes. It was apparent that Seth had rubbed off on him a little too much. I watched him for a while, wondering what he was thinking but came up empty -sometimes he was so hard to read.
"Was there anything else?"
"Yeah.... I don't know how to say this but Seth seems to think that there's something going on between us."
"And...?"
"I was just wondering if you implied or said anything to him."
"Why would I say anything to him? You made it clear there was nothing between us," he said, staring directly into my eyes. I tried to look away but his glare was forcing them to stay put.
"Yes, there is nothing.... between us," I said, hoping that it didn't sound as unconvincing to him as it did to me. He was doing that thing with his eyes again. The thing that revved up my nerves and muddled up my entire thought process.
He nodded, still boring a hole into my eyeballs. "So... what's the problem?"
"It's just that, Seth..."
"Look, if your boyfriend doesn't trust you, that has nothing to do with me. Right?"
"I guess so." I didn't want to take the conversation any further. The nerves were causing a familiar sensation in my tummy. I really hated when Ryan looked at me that way. I started to leave when I saw him put that death trap in his mouth and light it up.
He grabbed my right hand before I could knock it off. Without much thought, I got the job done with my left.
"What's your problem?" he asked, still holding on to my hand.
"Why the fuck are you smoking?"
"What's it to you?"
"It's going to kill you, that's what! And let go of my hand!"
He complied.
"I didn't know you cared," he said nonchalantly.
"Of course I care, you're... my boyfriend's best friend. Why wouldn't I care?"
"Whatever."
I started to leave then changed my mind. I felt bad about my harshness and wanted to explain it him. I stood next to him, leaning on the same wall.
"You know my Dad died of cancer...."
His mouth formed an O. "I didn't know it was from smoking."
"Well, it was."
He shook his head sadly. "That sucks... You see, I only smoke when I'm really stressed. I haven't touched it in over a year," he explained.
I looked at him. "So, what's causing the stress today?" I asked, a little concerned because Ryan always seemed to have everything together. Seth wore his heart on his sleeve, so I always knew how he was feeling. But with Ryan, one could only guess. Hence, it was very interesting to discover that this side of him actually existed.
"Just work. I poured so much energy into this project that I don't know what I'll do if it doesn't work out," he mused looking back at me.
"It'll work out. Seth gave me an advance copy of their CD and I've already played it about four times," I fibbed.
"Really?"
"Really," I reassured him. We broke our gaze and stared at the silver Mercedes parked in front of us, instead.
"I see that it's off now," he commented after a little while.
"What?" I asked confused.
In a flash, he was standing in front of me, holding my hand to my face. My skin tingled at his touch.
"Your ring, that's what," he said, not looking anywhere near it.
"Oh," I said. My nerves had begun to act up again. "I figured it was time I got rid of it... I was holding on to it for too long."
"And...?"
"And... Seth said - "
He dropped my hand in disgust. My heart skipped a beat. I'd begun to enjoy the roughness of his fingers on me.
"Oh, I forgot.... you live your life for Seth and not for yourself."
"That's not fair!"
He shrugged. "It might not be fair, but it's definitely true."
I couldn't form any words of defense but I knew that he couldn't have been more wrong.
When I didn't say anything, he attempted to leave but was stopped by my hand. He was a little taken aback. My lips responded to the question his eyes had asked - but not like he'd expected. I knew I shouldn't have done it but all I wanted was to shut him up once and for all and prove him wrong about my living for Seth. But it got out of control.
He pushed my head against the wall and let his tongue explore the top of my teeth. Normally, I would have gagged at the taste of cigarette but my brain refused to produce the correct reaction. Indeed at that moment, I was sure my brain had stopped working altogether. Then he pushed himself further into my mouth and sucked my tongue with enough pressure to send an ache running through my body. Then, he pulled back. I parted my lips, begging, wanting him to continue to create the sensations that had infiltrated my blood stream, but he didn't till I opened my eyes and looked at him. After a few minutes, he allowed his tongue to travel from my lips to my collar bone and down to be middle of my chest. At this point, all I could do was allow my fingers to discover the peaks and valleys of his back muscles.
I was wearing a low-cut blouse that had strategically been cut, so all he had to do was slide the material aside. I gasped at the sudden exposure to the cold breeze but then gasped even louder at the sudden warmth of his wet tongue. Instead of just sucking it like Seth did, he teased it, initially just slightly skimming with his tongue before he even licked around it. My inner moisture was primed and I knew what I had to do to satisfy it. I reached for his belt buckle.
Ryan immediately stopped, then took three steps back.
"Yes. You're right, Anna. There's nothing between us," he said, right before he walked back into the club.
