. o 0 O § O 0 o . . o 0 O § O 0 o . . o 0 O § O 0 o . . o 0 O § O 0 o . 

  Disclaimer:

  This next sentence is true.

   I own InuYasha.

  The first sentence is false.

 . o 0 O § O 0 o . . o 0 O § O 0 o . . o 0 O § O 0 o . . o 0 O § O 0 o .  ßI like these things

 

   [ What is my damn problem? Or shall I say, her damn problem? ]

    I sit at my computer one cold night not too long ago, reading the second Harry Potter book under the light of my monitor, when suddenly the wench comes in. Wordlessly, she walks over to where I am sitting; reading, and starts banging her fits on my keyboard with no palpable motive. After a minute of this, I look up and ask her if there was a problem. She does not answer me, but just stops banging on the keyboard and wickedly eyes my laser mouse. Keeping in mind that almost every single person on my mother's side is a pacifist, I decide to approach the situation at a calm manner. I ask her why the hell she is interrupting my reading just to be a violent boar—which may I tell you now, is not the thing to say to a woman in her mid-forties and currently living through menopause, she tells me that it is nothing, and that she was just overreacting. Then she left the room with a fatal aura that can choke a raven in mid-flight as it passes through a toxic waste environment. I briefly think over the possibilities that maybe my mother is solely crazy and should be hung at the cross, or that she just benefits from taunting me while I am reading one of the most invigorating books to come since "The Tell-Tale Heart". Ever since that night, my keyboard has been neurotically jammed with Oreo crumbs and dented keys while my laser mouse has mysteriously lost its laser yet still works on a miraculous limb of chance. My glasses have also seemed to have vanished, along with the cinnamon flavored dental floss and my fifteen bucks. This is definitely a minus for her Christmas gift, which was so cheap that it could buy itself. Don't know why I'm bothering anyone with this since I just wanted to tell you about the keyboard quandary.  

  Everything else is located at my blog. Lately, it's been filled with brewing Hell.

  Well…

  The movie Gremlins is playing behind right me on Dolby-Freaking-Digital, and I find the sudden urge to go to the Salvation Army and hitch my fifth Furby, not to mention replace the batteries in my old ones. Who does not want an animal that is a biohazard within itself? Reba gata!

  Now, on to the warnings!

  . o 0 O § O 0 o . . o 0 O § O 0 o . . o 0 O § O 0 o . . o 0 O § O 0 o . 

  KIKYO, YURA, AND KAGUYA BELTING!

   Like you didn't see this one coming. Is there going to be different character bashings in the future? You bet'cha mama's ass there will be!

  FLUFF n' STUFF

  Er, maybe? We'll see. Well actually, you'll be the one who is seeing while I'm being yelled at for squinting without my glasses.

  KEEP IN MIND:

  That when Kikyo and her cronies say "like" more then once in a sentence, you're probably seeking brain damage. Keep in mind that this is not common (for us sociopath natives, nothing is fucking common.) For it is their language of, 'Cheerocrisotopolitous' (Pronounced: "Cheer-oh-chris-oh-top-oh-light-us"). Please, if you are confused, refer to the edited chapter three. Thank j00.

  One more thing that might ease your minds a little. InuYasha is in his hanyou structure and will remain that way in this story. No, he will not turn human by full moon. In fact, let's just say that everyone who is demon or hanyou or human in my story will remain the way they are in the series. Unless I change their looks around a bit (i.e. by hair dye, an accident, a dare, etc.) then just picture them the way they are. I'm not explaining anything about demons; I'm not using the well other than pushing someone down for shits n' giggles, I'm not ever mentioning demons unless they are the ones from hell or are teachers, and I'm not twisting the plot around that involves humans and demons living in chaos or harmony, nor will Kikyo interweave the plot with her smuttiness in ugliness and sluttiness to get InuYasha back. She is never touching InuYasha again.

   I hoped that alleviated your spirits.    

  . o 0 O § O 0 o . . o 0 O § O 0 o .

   Dirty Sneakers

   Chapter 11: Bonehilda Darthbuckle: Discretion Killer

  . o 0 O § O 0 o . . o 0 O § O 0 o .

   Several hours after Naraku had finished his call; he was forced to pay the minutes on Chocolate's Nokia. A secret plot was devised, and all was asleep… For the time being.

   It was sunset. Sparkle, sparkle the sun is setting. Sunrise, sunset… Sunrise, sunset. The pink and orange crème clouds swarmed over the face of the sun, shining its enthralling beauty over Ko-nfure-kusu Juvenile Penitentiary. Not the brightest vista ever witnessed, but a peaceful panorama at that.

   Yes, all was peaceful.     

   "WAKE UP YOU EFFIN SHINANAGINS! IT'S TIME FOR THE COURTS!" Grumbles and vulgar curses were roaring as nearly everyone in the penal complex woke up to a thunderous Kiyone. Serious thing about her was, that she doesn't remember anything before coffee. Nothing before coffee and a good 20-minute bitching to superior authorities. Then again, almost all officers work that way.

   Kouga was the first to complain about the ungodly hour of awakening. "Oh man, what the hell was that I slept on? I feel like I just napped on kitten claws." He grunted when suddenly he was pushed from where he was assembled. A dissatisfied Ayame emerging from where he had slept, hazing with anger. She wore an expression that could slay Santa with one look.

   "Hey, bud." Ayame twisted the word bud just for kicks like they do in those cowboy vs. modern hero movies. "How about next time you avoid sleeping on my nails, and we'll forget this ever occurred!"

   Shippo and Crayon were already starting to rouse from slumber seizing their heads in agony from the sudden wash of ringing in their ears that lasted only instantly.

   Kiyone grumbled and flicked a loose strand of hair out of her face. She went on with her job, unlocking the cells and letting free the cons to take visit to the courts while breakfast was being prepared in the penal canteen. Much unlike normal jails, no one dared touch her for fear of losing an arm or leg.

   - Moment's Music Trapt: Headstrong -                          

   Everyone backed up into a straight line-up as they were released from their imprisonment. Kiyone sneered self-satisfied at her good work. Now onto the psychotic ward…

   As the navy haired girl left, a certain smirking sadist entered the area. Chocolate was clad in a rose red tank top and red suspenders keeping her baggy black jeans over the brink of her bellybutton, and black buckle boots that jangled as she walked. Then of course upon her head, her black officer hat was tilted over her wavy blood berry hair.

   Chocolate raised a single hand and made a gesture to the crowd, her derided place firmly on her face. InuYasha's cell was most recent to be opened as the rest of the high school group stood by them. They were murmuring as the rest of the poky were pushing each other out of the way to get to these 'courts'.

   Sango frowned; she marched up to officer Chocolate and tapped her on her bare shoulder with her cold hand. Chocolate winced as the coldness touched her shoulder and whipped around to face a confused Sango.

   "What is it, delinquent?" The officer asked crossly as she eyed the chestnut-haired girl circumspectly.

   Sango, being a bit confused about her attitude and not liking it one bit, was also totally oblivious to the whip the strict officer was stroking with one hand. "Just one question, what are the courts?" As soon as the words left her mouth officer Chocolate pushed her back into the crowd. People scoffed and laughed at Sango's stupidity. She had to be held back by Kagome and Ginkotsu in order to save Sango from ripping each and every person's head off within a 20-foot radius.

   "The Courts," Chocolate said, taking in a deep breath and closing her eyes as if reminiscing. Her complexion went rigid but loosened up. "Is where you will train in order to stride against the outside world. You prefects know nothing, do you?" 

    Chocolate was responded by an ominous middle finger sticking up heads above the crowd. 

    "You will be escorted to the courts by none other than Momig and Botan (H/N: They are explained at the end). There, you will receive training to turn your weak bodies into pure machines of steel." She lectured to the booing crowd. Chocolate raised her whip threateningly and 3villy eyed everyone. They shut up.

    Without another word, the officer turned around and led everyone down the solemn cement halls and out to the courts. (H/N: From what I know, my father's side of the family always calls the jail's outside training area, "the courts" thus the name given. If you have something to say about this, please raise your hand and place it over your mouth.)

  . o 0 O § O 0 o . At The Outside Courts . o 0 O § O 0 o .

   The penal complex folk were attired in their habitual garments as they all were slung around outside. One very peevish man with shades and steroid-induced muscles was stationed at the only exit, which was currently locked, chained and even bandaged with security measurements.

    It had to nearly be 4 in the morning. The sky was dashed with black, anomalous grays, with a hint of dreary tangerine on the very far side of the courts. The fences surrounding them reached a height of 50-feet rimmed with barbwire that would even make Gumby scream. The courts were cemented down with rough stones and black tar, many feet trampling over it as low talking ensued the grounds. 

    Everyone crowded around the center of the courts. A cement-made bench was tightly bolted to the ground, no one knew why though. Talking seemed to stop as two very young looking girls came into view from the gates.

    One girl was thin and pale. The other was a bit husky and muscular, but not by too much. They both wore identical good-natured beams and dressed in the same outfits. The thin girl had short brown hair cut at a curve and presented a small red bow. It was yet very attractive to match her deep teal eyes. The lass wore a white jump suit uniform with a scarlet vest and many beaded bracelets. Around her neck hung an oddly beaded necklace that hung a golden talon that resembled the head of a bolt. Her sparing shoes were rugged with dust and dirt yet was similar to black as it once was.

    The other girl, eyes unblemished in lighter brown, had flowing black hair that was worn down to her waistline and was as straight as a calm river. She was dressed just as the other girl was, yet with a light blue vest and perfectly polished black dojo-friendly shoes. The necklace that hung on her neck was just like to the other girl's as well, yet was shaped more like a deranged fruit. One long wooden stick was held in her clutches, her body full straightened as she glared stonily at some people she might have known before.

    "All right," Announced the thin and pasty girl as she stepped onto the bench to get a clear view of everyone. Her attention sprung around and stopped as she noticed several new beings among the crowd she had not known before.

    InuYasha snorted as he felt blaring gazes drilling into his head. He leaned over and tapped Kagome on the shoulder, whom was currently chatting up a secret whispering storm with Sango and Miroku as some others did the same. Kagome shrugged her attention away from her two friends to see InuYasha's disgruntled appearance.

    "What's wrong?" Kagome whispered to InuYasha. The silver haired boy shook his head and frowned.

     "Don't you feel as if you're being watched? You know… by some of the people here?"

     Kagome immediately staggered back. "You're not talking about Maze are you? Where is he? Is he near?" Her eyes darted around searching frantically for the perverse grinning man. She did not find that, but yet a strange ebony-haired girl with short hair and a chipper attitude. The girl was smiling bubbly with no care in the world as Kagome stared on with a twitching yet crooked smile.

     InuYasha tugged on Kagome's orange Gizmo tee shirt and pulled her back safely by his side.

     "No, now that you mentioned it, it's odd that that female hoarding male-clubber just disappeared… Yet. Don't you get like you're being watched over with some harsh stare?" He inquired. Looking down at Kagome, he noticed one of her eyebrows were raised in a manner that similarly reminded him of The Rock.

     "If you're talking about stares, InuYasha," Kagome said clear as day. The thumb of her hand shot out to the direction of two certain drill-coaches. "Then it's probably those."

     InuYasha followed her thumb's direction slowly until he stopped craning his cranium and glared back down at the floor mumbling something like, "You know what, I'm just not going to attempt as if I care anymore."

     Sango jabbed InuYasha in the ribs and giggled. Kagome mimicked her movements, and chased Sango around InuYasha as if he was an inanimate object. The teen sighed and rubbed his temples with the two girls ran around him expressing amusement as they were unmindful of the many seer attentions being thrown their way.

    Miroku had soon tried to join in then was slapped as Sango dubbed him 'it'. But before Miroku could run off to chase the two girls, InuYasha gripped the back of his obscene Foamy (H/N: His superior squirrelnessness blinds me!) shirt, nearly choking him, and warped into a heated argument about 'changing acts'. Fundamentally, Miroku's.

    The pasty thin girl jumped off the concrete bench and lolled ghastly over to where the chasing was occurring.  

    She coughed and rudely shucked the wrist of Sango and Kagome before they could run any further past into the Courts. They squealed like little children being taken in to due time out in a corner, as the other girl took and threw them onto the ground with force.

    This didn't get past InuYasha's attention. He was about to get up and teach the child-like girl a lesson but was put to an immediate stop when the thin girl sunk her sharp nails into his wrist as he was about to strike for her pressure point. InuYasha's disbelief rose and his pride lowered.

   "What are you?!" InuYasha shouted.

   "I am Momig, son." Momig, the thin girl said crossly, her vest swishing around her as she stalked back to her bench where her partner stood, glaring stonily yet very sarcastically at Momig. When neither of them was looking, Sesshoumaru stalked over behind InuYasha placing a clawed hand on his shoulder inelegantly.

   "As some of you may not know, we are the heirs of the Courts here." Momig announced into the dusk and clear dark atmosphere. People were now situating themselves against the fences or on nearby benches, remembering to stay close together. InuYasha ushered Kagome and the rest of his friends against the fences as they whined, complained or slept once they sat themselves down.

   "We as in, Botan and I." The girl, Botan, stepped forward and took a short bow before resuming to her previous spot.

   "Now that we have a few new faces around here," Momig continued. "I might as well set the record straight and lay down the rules. Rule one; No transvestites allowed on the Courts. We have had a lot of major… confusion in the past, and since we do not want a repeat of last year's events, we ask you now to leave. So all remaining Queens please leave now, or you will be stipulated to pay a weekly visit to Bonehilda Darthbuckle for the next year of confinement."

    Many sudden shrieks of anguish flashed before many people's faces. Sooner than anyone knew it, a grotesque looking girl (or what was thought to be one) and a light brown-haired lass shot up from a bench and ran out from the Court gates into Chocolate's waiting custody. A second later, a short golden-haired girl/boy stood up from next to a aquamarine haired girl and ran to Chocolate's waiting whip too.

    Everyone turned his or her attention back to Momig, who was appearing quite amused.

    One hand rose along the fence. That hand belonged to Kagome. Yet, again, baffled by the information that was shoved so hurriedly down her gullet.

    "Uhh… Momig, Ma'am, pumpkin, yes, um," Kagome said, not wanting to offend the lady for fear of having her head cut off, or a toe or something.

    Momig rose a waxed brow, "What is it, Child-of-the-bars?"

    InuYasha growled lightly at the petty insult thrown to his bestest friend (H/N: 'sides Roku) but Kagome ignored them both. "Who is Bonehilda Decksucker?"

    "Err.." This wasn't new. A lot of chortles and terrified puffs rang the clearing like a cracked ivory bell. "That's DARTHBUCKLE. Our institutional patients here at Cornflakes prison are not liked in the least. Especially Bonehilda." The vicinity thunder bolted with silence.

    Kagome stilled wasn't satisfied. She also had noticed that Momig looked like she was mutely egging her not to solicit any more questions. Hook, line, sinker baby.  

   "What the hell is wrong with her?"

   Momig heaved a greatly irritated sigh. Before she could open her mouth, Botan took a step forward.

   "I'll handle it this time, Momig, just sit." Botan spoke sternly. The shorthaired girl threw a small-condensed fit that sounded like, "Oh Jesus, the tension is choking me. Make some magic, Boat-chan."

    (H/N: The following contains disturbing cerebral scenes. As a bystander of PCP custom usage, I kindly urge everyone to sit back or cleave to something solid. It's not going to be a daydream.)

    Botan glared roguishly at Momig, standing up in posture and ready to speak. All chattering had faintly stopped when she spoke.

   "It all started when…"

  . o 0 O § O 0 o . Flashback: Cornflakes Penitentiary [Mental Ward] - 4 years earlier . o 0 O § O 0 o .

    All around, every day at the penitentiary, terrible weather ensued. Never was a day in passing bright, hopeful and worry-free. The Mental Ward was on no account a great place to be that not even the nurses and daily-visiting doctors liked to check up on them. The Ward was located underground in the deep basement of the penitentiary so the patients that were put there for life had no chance to escape before someone caught sight of them. 

    So many of the people there were ill, they still are as a matter of fact. The works of art, murals, frescos, and friezes were all symbolizing near death that hung on nail-scratched ebony papered bulwarks.  People barely loomed the halls, and if they did, they had a wish to be mentally scarred or perhaps just visiting a past kith and kin.

    Silver plated one-way windows lined the murky halls. A single, neat-styled clipboard near each and every one of them. And yet there was no noise allowed to disturb neighboring compartments, one did, and it drove everyone nearly crazy.

    In this window, a young girl was huddled deep into a lighted corner where her still body could be seen.

   . o 0 O § O 0 o .

   "Enough with the hysterics. Give us the story!"

   "I'm getting there for Christ sakes! Anywho…" 

    . o 0 O § O 0 o .

    She had no life. No friends. No kin. She was dead to her own brain and no one ever cared.

    Until one man came that day. He always visited her while other patients were so desirous that they lashed at their windows at times to get some attention. But he always visited her, and her alone, which cheered her up to it's fullest even though she could not see him—she could hear him.

    No one knew his name, but only she. No one knew where he came from. We all liked to see him as a ghost. Kind and young lad who had not a care in the world but to visit this abandoned lady every day at the same time of 5 o'clock. The man even asked a passing guard a couple of times for request to see the lady in person, but was always replied with some sort of 'no'. 

   Then, nearly 13 months later, the man left as mysteriously as he came. The girl had no longer felt his presence and had gotten delusional more and more; every day that he did not come.

   Less then a week later, she had snapped.

   Her hands had become more and more prone to sharp objects that were handed to her, progressively did she desire for something to be in tact with. Until the day the drugs had kicked in.

   The young woman had been put into Cornflakes Mental Ward for over dosage of PCP, Angel Dust. She was 2 years clean pending the day that her brain was turned completely into crackers. The following week that was the worse on her brain, and everything went anything but upwards. A bad thing starts to divulge.

   Arachnophobia, she had. She had ripped her own tongue out, claiming that it was a tarantula trying to waddle down her throat. A passing guard had seen the girl heaped over into a corner, and saw the tongue about 13 feet away from her own body. An operation was dated quickly, and had sewn the tongue back into her mouth after finding it still useful in every way.

  And when everyone thought it was bad enough, it just kept on going downwards.

  After the tongue incident, she had pounded her hands onto the floor daily. The doctors didn't know the cause, because they thought that she was just crazy and needed no one to always lurk around her cubicle. The doctor was taken back when daily he came back, noticing that her hands were pounding harder onto the floor.

   The doctor had nearly screamed bloody murder when her own hands started to bleed profusely and her raw throat screamed "Ants! Everywhere! Army!" Prediction came, as many facility workers knew that she had been hallucinating army ants eating at her right hand alone.

   Soon enough, and yet oddly enough, every bone only in her right hand was broken. But the left one was shockingly contorted.

   The man had never came back. Sunlight hour after sunlight hour the girl got madder to a greater extent. The doctor came back, and to his horror, observing the window crashed open and the door pelted and barely hanging on its hinges and in blood, the door read:

   "And thee know where you are…Thee will never be lonely for a second time…"

   The doctor had not come out of the basement from then forth. Goshinki had stopped over a brave man, once a year from then on he went down, and came back up safely. But with disturbing news, that each single window was broken down, every clipboard was clawed into bits dripping saliva, and that glass and so much blood were trailing in every direction with the stench of decaying bodies.

   Yet, there was something else going on down there. Goshinki sometimes heard noises periodically in the Mental Ward. Muffled cries and strange pounding clamors echoing as if fists to concrete. The strange thing about that noise was that the only concrete around the Ward was the third layer of the prison fortifications. How exactly the two layers, one of hollow exterior and the second of brick, were gotten passed no one, not even Goshinki knew. After the concrete rampart is only uranium metal then the outside rock confines.

   Notes were taken mentally that many, or maybe even all of the patients were pronounced dead.

   All except for Bonehilda. Bonehilda Darthbuckle was the one figured to kill them all. And if she is the only one to survive each year without fail, then she is the one and only one to run the Mental Ward. Goshinki was ordered to stop visiting the Ward for fear of death and loss of much bravery that Cornflakes prison knew they needed. So he complied.

   Since that year of turmoil, not one soul dared to visit her ever again. Not even once in the past four years did they come back.

   . o 0 O § O 0 o . Flashback Concluded . o 0 O § O 0 o .

     Botan took a step back. Many of the people in The Courts were scared shitless that Momig even had a look of sorrow washing her peachy features.

     Momig stood up as her comrade sat to take a break. Kouga shook his head in dishonorable disbelief.

    "What a load of shit!"

    Instantly a fed-up Botan was choking him lifeless. No one dare save him because they totally were stunned by the story, and felt extraordinarily different then his little out burst.

    Momig silenced Botan with many tries. After a bit, she was pried away from Kouga who was currently not awake, but almost dead to the world. Momig clapped Botan on the back with a smile and turned to the delinquents as if that story and Kouga never happened. 

    "Now onto rule two." Momig stated loudly with her hands behind her back. Striding down the concrete as the sun slowly rose over The Courts. "No gum."

    "Why?" A dissembled voice rang in the clearing. Most likely Earthboy.

     Momig's idiom appeared a bit tart. "Because. If you don't have enough for everyone else, then it's just not fair." She shrugged ostentatiously, gathering again her composure.

     "Rule three, no attempts to break out of The Courts unless supervised by Goshinki," Momig pointed to the bulky man at the gates. He immediately rose from his slumped position looking completely FULL of himself. "Chocolate," She revolved her direction and was now pointing at a pissed Chocolate while she clung rather tightly to Konatsu's shirt collar. "Or Botan and I. Breaking this rule would result a month's worth of visits to Bonehilda Darthbuckle." (H/N: They are saying this to scare everyone shitless. It's not like they would actually do that…would they…? Hm.)

    Just the very name sent shivers down everyone's spines. Crayon gave off a spit-flurry of uncommon insults and rattled the fence violently, as everyone else just appeared moderately befuddled.

    Momig took a moment to ponder before speaking again. "And rule number..er..What number am I on, again?"

    Botan rolled her eyes and coughed, "Three."

   "Oh yeah, rule three. Within the Courts, we are gods. We ownz0r j00. You are our rampant porcupine-licking dejected lolli-shoving potato sack sonovabitches. You will do as we say, when we say it, as we say it."

    Renkotsu sighed quite sarcastically, remembering a certain turning point within his lifespan. "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a sonovabitch, either."

    A few 'the hell?'s and some loud high-pitched whining echoed the dark and clammy courts as some people decided to rattle the fences as if in chains by their 'gods'.

    Jakotsu, on the other sexuality, was currently buggering over a man fatter than Fat Albert not giving a damn to notice that there was even trainers on the Courts.

    The sluts, ah, they were just lounging around and mimicking Jakotsu's awesome flirt tactics. Hey, you only learn from the best.

    Botan sighed, spotting Jakotsu clinging to a non-moving fired circus folk. "I'm not even going to say what I was going to think."

    "If you were even thinking at all…" Naraku piped from his far corner of the Courts. Botan whipped her head around to the intruding voice. She strode past the quad area with her long vest railing behind her.

     "You've got something to say son, spit it out."

    Naraku's left eye flinched as he heard InuYasha harshly told him to shut his mouth. But yet, Naraku did quite the opposite and hawked a very large lugi (H/N: Those really large spit wads) on Botan's sparing shoe.

   "I'm not your son."

   Botan didn't even move when she saw him do that, but she shook like the devil. But everyone could tell she was boiling with anger that even Momig looked a bit scared. A defiant yell was heard over the crisp silence when Botan raised a stiff hand that was nearly halfway to slapping Naraku's inert and determined form. 

   It was Chocolate who yelled. The gates were now opened as Guard Goshinki was stepping aside to let a small panting girl through the barbed entrance. And to say in the least, everyone who knew the girl almost tipped over in apparent shock.

   "Make one effort to touch one solitary hand on my brother and I will sue you and sell you to the highest bidder."

   "That goes for my sister, too!"

   "What he said!"

   Each person who knew the voices jerked their heads up flabbergasted to the three people who just entered through with Goshinki by their side.

   It was Kanna. Not only her, but also a just as equally astounded Souta and Kohaku.

   Just as their eyes started to water over from staring so long, Kagome and Sango apprehensively stared back at each other with very amusing expressions that clearly said, "I-am-going-to-be-knee-deep-in-it-when-secondary-sources-find-out-that-I-am-here-by-these-grease-tounges-so-I-think-I-should-just-roll-over-and-die-now". Just then a second after, Souta and Kohaku broke down into a laughing fit that soon made them crying and cough at the SAME TIME. The SAME TIME. Kinda hurts.

   Kanna just glared dully at Naraku as if expecting it to happen before she graduated Elementary. They soon got into a fight, as many people starting hollering in too.

   Kagome and Sango were hounding after their brothers (though they didn't care who's) and had to be physically restrained by InuYasha, Miroku, Sesshoumaru and Goshinki. Their brothers just continued to laugh behind the protection of Botan and Momig. 

   Finally, they were going to be free from this firestorm.

  . o 0 O § O 0 o . Aftertaste . o 0 O § O 0 o .

    Crossover Characters Used In This Interval:

    Momig & Botan: InuYasha

    Golden-haired girl/boy (Salior Uranus): Sailor Moon

    Kontasu (transvestite): Ranma ½

  

    Ebony-haired smiling lass (Female Maze): Maze

    Bonehilda Darthbuckle: I actually made her up. The happenings were in true story, but are being covered for security reasons. Or it could be my lack of memory to tell you whom it is, but either way, you'll never know.

    What Is Their Purpose In Cornflakes Jail?

    Momig & Botan: Found and hired by Cornflakes Headmaster. Headmaster unknown.

    Sailor Uranus: 3 counts in trial of pending homosexual marriage by force. The tendency to keep 'straight' by male is miraculously always switched into female in duration of marriage and visiting the 7-11 on Broadway.

    Konatsu: Was arrested in Michigan for major rally with the rights to be a transvestite. He was arrested for not only disturbing the peace, but for carelessly holding the rally next to a children's day care center. Files of arrest were high and so were the Michigan police.

    Female Maze: Murder of Princess Mill by a wisp of jealousy that Mill had liked her other side more. Hey, aren't we all.

   . o 0 O § O 0 o . Review Responses… . o 0 O § O 0 o .

   Loozer-09 :: I love 'meh Disclaimers lean, mean, and hard knockin'. Bwaha! So glad you loved 'mah story, and the Omake I shoved in there. It's true—it's true! Most Christian High schools ask for criminal records, yet it's completely understandable. You don't want a remake of that sniper school-shooting movie. Even though that guy shot half his school down, it probably was a pretty big mess ta' clean. And Christian schools just love sqeaky clean hallways. ^_^ I won't get mad at any auhtor's note you write; we all have our tough moments.

   Oh yes, one other thing! Thank you so much for that online Thanksgiving greeting card! I loved it! I tried to send you one from BlueMountain, but the Mailer Daemon (I call it Demon, grrness) kept saying that there was no such address. Man, I had a real cute one too. -_-

   ReinaQueen :: Long chapter, I hope you enjoy the Omake too, oh-lover-of-my-story.

   Nini4 :: I know how you undergo family insanity. Most people think it's just in the genes the way people act, but I guess we share something in common: we just gotta lose something sometime. Like our sanity. Hell even I loose my sanity when I read my stories. Sometimes I forget it's me who wrote them. That's just terrible. I got the Sims Makin' Magic game YAY! I killed Kikyo by a charm I made. I also turned her Muggle-ass into a toad. :D Now that is sheer brilliance. I love EA Games.

   Ashley (Anonymous) :: I confused you? Than ¼ of my job here is fulfilled. 

   eX Driver Liz :: Sesshoumaru with honey, eh? That might be a necessity for something.. Hm… But Chocolate, being an officer and all (I wonder how she did that) I try hard to make her sound more pain bearing then she is and I guess the Naraku-molesting thing was just a bonus. I don't know how the hell she did it either. That makes two of us!

   SesshoumaruFanCall911 :: Thank you for pointing out my grammatical mistakes. It flows in my genes, you know, the incompetence of not having a beta reader and turning down every request for people to be one. I guess it's just my habit of working alone. My independence wasn't free. People had to die for me. :D Thank the Union for Sons of Liberty and banish the System for everything else that happens. I don't even know why the hell I'm talking about this, where was I?

   Mega Tokyo! The #1 Resource for l33t. I absolutely adore Mega Tokyo and everything bad that happens to Piro. My favorite character is Ping (That was very rude, Mr. Turtle!). The most reliable piece of PS2 equipment since the controller. Then it's Largo and Tohya Miho. I just can't get enough of it all (even spite the fact I have not read anywhere past Comic #383. I've just been so busy. ._.)

   The Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie was that good? I only saw the Texas Chainsaw Massacre that was filmed in the 70's. That one was totally kick ass, and if the new re-made one is that good, then I'll go see it. W00t!

   A lot of people around my school use the phrase "crunching". But if you watch the movie, "Never Been Kissed" one of those high school girls use that phrase here and there, too. Very stupid, yet common. 

   And yes, It takes a lot of restraint to not lash out at someone who hates you. But always remember: Pillage then burn. That's the key to success. ^_^

   Three-Legged Dog :: I have most disability to work with a bunch of people. Most are the same I.Q. as each other and it's sickening, the youth that they are. But shoving me in a room colder than ice is really pushing my buttons. S.A.T and FCAT advisors can just kiss my ass. They could at least have decency to shove me in a broom closet. 

   Kim (Anonymous) :: I hate the word 'like' as much as the next sausage jockey. But I guess it's all in reference with me. But if I ever hear someone use that word more then once in decent conversation, then I just might—well, what any normal person might do. Rip out their hair and turn homicidal. S'all in the brainwaves.

   DemonSorceress :: Some pairings will be freaky. But the most definite sane ones are going to be InuYasha/Kagome and Miroky/Sango. Everyone else might be paired, killed off, or travel to Saskatchewan to sell carpet insurance. Depends on the weather.

   Maiden Of The Moon :: I read your story with Kagome going into deep dark Mikoism at a freak show. That story is so thrilling so I hope you continue with that. It's kinda like mine would have turned out; 'really strange and extraordinary'. Luckily I made myself a new summary for it, and a decent plot. Depression is my motivation, as the sloth says. Chapter 9 review! *two thumbs up* I liked your review better then my own Omake. Awesome.

   Eris Goddess Of Chaos (Anonymous) :: Hopefully, you aren't fruity. Bwah! Since I don't know you and all. Thanks for liking my story.

   Tiggermoogle :: Finally, someone who thinks Chapter 9's Disclaimer was funny. Thank you so much for your commentary.

   Review in the Holiday spirit? I know everyone wants "InuYasha's Revenge" and poof—here it shall be. Thank you everybody whom evaluated the last chapter. Thank you so much, that now I present the Omake you requested. Queue—take one!

   . o 0 O § O 0 o . OMAKE! OMAKE! OMAKE! . o 0 O § O 0 o .

   ***HIRARI PRESENTS: INUYASHA'S REVENGE***

   [ Kinda citrusy. Single-digit kiddies please back away before I stick you in the eye with a hot poker I have so conveniently in my intestine-squishing hands. Oh, and, um, thank j00. ]

   Kagome ducked under a tree's shades panting freely. She dropped her stuff along the way of running from InuYasha and decided to try and hide from him. She knew she couldn't, but what other choice had she come to? None, that's what. Her ears zapped conscious when she heard pattering footsteps and ruffles of clothing coming her way. Kagome tried hard to stop the anxious shuddering of her bones and wanted to wrench them quiet. InuYasha hears all.

   "Kagome…" Came a slick and mischievous voice from beyond her tree. She prayed mentally to herself almost pondering if she WAS mental or not. That's when she heard the footsteps stop, right near her tree.

   InuYasha had known that Kagome would just run off from him, and decided to walk at a pacing manner for none other then dramatic effect. The same goes for the sly "Kagome…"'s and "Where are you…?"'s which he knew would make her run faster. Hey, he was the male here, not some bit—whoops. That almost slipped his tongue again. It's what started this whole thing in the first place! That damn double-edged word. InuYasha lowered his head from the ruby color that was slowly formulating over his tanned cheeks and over the bridge of his nose.

   He stopped rapidly when he heard fast and panting breaths from behind a dead cherry blossom tree (Unromantic? Bite me).  Smirking self-righteously, InuYasha slowly did a 180 in direction, walking slowly to the tree he knew Kagome was hiding behind.

   Kagome almost sunk to her knees when she heard the footfalls coming her way. Almost as if she wanted to run and hide again from his little 'I'm an arrogant asshole' path. Effin' InuYasha just had to act like Leatherface and tread around everywhere like he was Buddha. Rotten little—Kagome swiftly let out a pretty thunderous screech when InuYasha's face was directly disproportional to her own.     

   InuYasha flinched as he heard her shriek and intuitively pressed his delightful little pallid ears to his head. He let go of the branch he was hanging inversely from. Annoyance crossed his face before a mischievous smile shoved it out of it's place.

   InuYasha took a step forward to the shaking girl who had apparently seen his grin and snatched Kagome's waist into his muscular arms. Kagome sputtered out words like a lawn sprinkler as InuYasha flickered his ears and nuzzled her glowing cheeks. 

   "Kagome…" He purred questionably. The girl in his arms let out a quick 'What do you want from me?' but he ignored her for the time being. "What the hell was that little stunt you pulled back at the well?" InuYasha continued in the same tone of voice.

   Kagome fidgeted as his hands playfully batted softly at the hem of her shirt. "Er… Um… I w-was just—"

   "Yeees..?" He drawled.

   Kagome frowned and poked his arm that was tickling her exposed rib. "Hey! You're the one that called me a bitch! You explain that now, huh!" InuYasha tugged her back into the protection of his perfectly carved chest when she tried to grip out.

   "Well," he explained. "I was just being truthful."

   "Yeah, right. You, truthful?" Kagome 'hmpf'ed and twirled around in his embrace so that her back was to his chest. "When Shippou flies."

   InuYasha lowered his head in great endorsement of her motion, and nestled at her neck. He was overwhelmed with rapture as he heard weakly subdued moans escape Kagome's supple cherry lips. 

   "I can surely arrange that." He spoke devilishly into her ear. Kagome turned on the sputter works again at his reply.

   "You better not! If you so much as tou—w-what are you doing!?"

   InuYasha trailed feather light kisses from her wrist (Like Maxwell does to Morticia on The Adams Family) to her shoulder then her neck and slowly up her jaw line. Her groans were light and her eyes were half closed (or were they half open?). A small devious smile took place on her lips as InuYasha continued trailing harder kisses along her cheek.

   'Two can play at this game!' Kagome thought mulishly, all non-Kagome like. Quickly, almost too fast for InuYasha to even catch up on, she turned around in his arms and clutched his face with her hands, kissing him resolutely on the lips.

   InuYasha, just expecting for her to fall flat out of words and succumb to his almightiness, did not expect this. Her teeth gently nipped at the corner of his bottom lip making InuYasha the one to bite back a groan of pleasure. Kagome's lips pressed affectionately against his own that he could taste her lips of milk and honey—his most favorite taste in the world.

   Instinctively InuYasha tightened his grip around her waist pressing her body as close to his as it would get, and sketched Kagome's lips with his tongue, requesting admission. She accepted, and growled in delight as his tongue left no place in her mouth untouched, her tongue coyly dancing with his.

   Soon and regretfully, they separated for breathe but keeping their lips close together to steal another kiss or two. Kagome hands were lightheartedly tweaking InuYasha's doggie ears. He emitted deep purrs that made Kagome chuckle.

  "What are you laughing at?" InuYasha asked, failing to sound tough like he wanted to be and leaned into her touch.

  "Never mind InuYasha," Kagome said, then capturing his lips in a quick kiss. "Nothing at all."            

   . o 0 O § O 0 o .

   Fuck, if you guys don't review for that, I'll cry. ;_;

   . o 0 O § O 0 o . Hirari's Stupid Chatterbox . o 0 O § O 0 o .

   .  I am deeply shocked. Kelly from King Of The Jungle has won her own show, and I am very upset and very bothered by this. She didn't even deserve to be on the few segments on King of the Jungle much less her own damn show. I don't even think anyone knows what I'm talking about, so I'll just stop right now. 

   .  Sorry this chapter bites. Chapter 6 and 9 don't bite. They purr… What the hell am I stating? Argh, never mind. This subject is trash.

   .  I finished Harry Potter books two and three. Now number four I'm getting started on, and when my friend Stephanie let me borrow the book, I think the phrase "Have fun" just changed into something terrifying. The fourth book is bigger then the Holy Bible for the love of Jesuschristo. I fear seeing the fifth one. Or the sixth. Or the seventh…

   .  The AUTHOR has been through another CHUNK of HELL in the past 2 WEEKS that she SERIOUSLY DOUBTS her own SANITY. This may be a PROBLEM in most cases, for SHE has NO INTENTIONS to see ANOTHER RAY OF SUNSHINE for as long as GOD has granted her to LIVE. FORTUNATELY, she is seeking HELP but does NOT know where to FIND SOME. This is ALSO a PROBLEM because the author's SPACE BAR is BROKEN and works like a TETTER-TOTTER. It is also TAPED DOWN with SCOTCH. No not the DRINK, STUPID the TAPE. Concluding onto yet ANOTHER PROBLEM stacking onto her SANITY. Or what's LEFT of it. Please be AWARE that this has to do with NOTHING IMPARTICULAR and that the AUTHOR just wanted you to SUFFER under racking IMPATIENCE with the CAPS LOCK and her new OBESSION for I, MY, ME STRAWBERRY EGGS.  

    . Ryoko loves Tenchi. Tenchi loves Ryoko. Ayeka is a brother-loving hussy and should be killed off the Shrine. End of discussion.

    . Hirari needs a new summary for this story because it sucks. It sucks major silicon tissue. If any of you have sanity left or proper working brains to help the idiot out, then please do it's really killing our style here. I don't know how she'll repay you, but I will make her do something. I just got my gun back Monday. So it's all good.

    . What year is this? Is it still 2003 that I updated in? *voices from the back of the room are heard calling out* Oh, it still is? Okay thanks.

    . Please excuse my grammatical crap. If I did something wrong, I probably know and I'm remorseful. Please just ignore it and label me incompetent if you'd like. I don't really care for it anymore.

    . Hey, they caught Saddam Hussein. This is better than my birthday.

    . At the Annual GDL Christmas Pageant of 2003, Krystle, a Goth named Brittany and I decided to push a prep named Heather off of the stage and into the sea of the Sunshine Chorus. We succeeded in knocking her off the stage, but failed to remember until after the pageant that were being video taped. Camera dude Daniel started to laugh when he left the church to make nearly 3000 copies and send them out as Christmas greetings. It did not help at all when Krystle and I acted like Hindus through the entire thing. Ah, crap.

    . Check out my Thank you's and Wishes! section or die.

  . o 0 O § O 0 o . Thank You's and Wishes! . o 0 O § O 0 o .

  I'd like to thank everyone who put me on their favorite authors list. 

  Thank you all so much! Awesomenessness! Thanks!

  Review for me!

  Wishes ::

  I wish you all a very happy holidays, everyone! Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Happy Kwanzaa, Seasons Greetings and all that merriment! I wish you all safe traveling, comfort and joy and may you get lots of presents you ignorant masses of crud. ^_^ May Foamy ridicule everyone against his wishes and bless those who leave me reviews and are still reading my talk nineteen to the dozen.

  But seriously, may your Holidays be bright. Take care and keep warm and chilly wherever you may be this season!

  Merry Christmas 2003! w00t!       

  Love and lots of neat gadgets and gizmos (Reba gata!),

  Hirari the 9th Goddess of Maple Syrup