No, Really, Who Stole The Cookies From The Cookie Jar?

A/N: This is noticeably the first time I've actually written an Author's Note. First of all, contrary to popular belief, I am not dead. I just couldn't post my fics because they not finished yet. Okay? Right. So, I got this idea from the game (duh) 'Who Stole The Cookies From The Cookie Jar'. It features Lockhart, the Gryffindors and Slytherins in Harry's year, and this takes place in second year. After you've read this, you can press the 'Back' button on your browser, and click my Pen Name then R&R my other fics. Okay? Great. Summaries down below.

This is what could've happen. Yes, it's weird, but… well… no, it's quite impossible, actually. Anyway, let's just get on with the story, shall we? Right. Please R&R! After which, see the box below which has 'Submit a review' on it? There is a button beside that that says 'Go'. It is your friend; click it. ^_^ Happy reading!

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Lockhart: *smiles so brightly that it makes girls drool. Emphasis on girls.* Who wants cookies?!

Class: *with the exception of Malfoy* We do!

Lockhart: *opens jar of cookies* Hey! Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?! *raises eyebrow knowingly* There's only one way to figure this out!

Hermione: *whispers to Parvati* I bet he's going to do a really complicated spell! He is really brilliant, you know.

Parvati: *nods vigorously*

Lockhart: *points to Harry* Harry stole the cookies from the cookie jar!

Harry: Who? Me?

Lockhart: Yes! You!

Harry: *shakes head* It ain't me.

Lockhart: *frowns* Then who?

Harry: Err… Ron stole the cookies from the cookie jar!

Ron: *jaw slacks as he looks at Harry with wide disbelieving eyes* Harry! Me?!

Harry: Yeah, you!

Ron: Not me!

Harry: *crosses arms* Then who?

Ron: Hermione stole the cookies from the cookie jar!

Hermione: *Blushes as everyone suddenly looks at her* Who? Me?

Ron: Hell, yeah!

Hermione: Couldn't be!

Ron: *raises eyebrow* Oh, yeah?!

Hermione: *stands up* Yeah! 'Cause it's Dean who obviously stole the cookies from the cookie jar!

Dean: What?! Me?!

Hermione: *glares* Yes, you.

Dean: *cocks head to the side slightly and shrugs* Nope. Ain't me.

Hermione: *rubs chin thoughtfully* Then who?

Dean: *triumphant smile* Seamus stole the cookies from the cookie jar!

Seamus: Dean, me?!

Dean: Yes, you!

Seamus: But it's not me!

Dean: Who, then?

Seamus: *shrugs* Maybe Neville stole the cookies from the cookie jar.

Neville: *faints*

Dean: Different person.

Seamus: Parvati stole the cookies from the freaking jar, okay?

Parvati: Who me?

Seamus: Duh, you.

Parvati: *shoulders slump* Couldn't be me!

Seamus: God, who?!

Parvati: Goyle stole the cookies from the cookie jar!

Goyle: Who? Me?

Parvati: He can speak! *clears throat* I mean, err… yes, you.

Goyle: *turns to Malfoy* Next Line?

Malfoy: *exasperatedly* It's not him.

Parvati: Then who?

Goyle: Oh! Oh! I know this one! Crabbe stole the cookies from the cookies jar!

Crabbe: Who? Me?

Goyle: Yes! You!

Crabbe: Not me.

Goyle: Then who?!

Crabbe: Blaise stole the cookies from the cookie jar!

Blaise: What the hell are you on about?! Me?!

Crabbe: Hell, you.

Blaise: It ain't fucking me.

Crabbe: Then Who?

Blaise: Shut up, dammit! Fine! Malfoy stole the fuckin' cookies from the friggin' jar!

Malfoy: Honestly, me?

Blaise: Shut up … and … yes, you.

Malfoy: I'm not an idiot who steals cookies for fun.

Harry: You broke the game! You prat!

Malfoy: *hands on hips* Watcha gonna do about it?

Harry: Start a new game!

Malfoy: *puts head in hand* God, why?

Harry: Because!

Hermione: *scowls* Harry!

Harry: What?

Hermione: That's blasphemy! You aren't supposed to be pretending to be God!

Harry: Geez, it's just a joke, not like anyone's gonna die or anything.

Ron: Jesus died in Christmas!

Dean: Jesus died in Easter, idiot.

Ron: Oh, sorry.

Seamus, Hermione, Dean, Draco, Harry and Blaise: Jesus resurrected in Easter!

Dean: Oh, right. I knew that.

Harry: Sure you did.

Dean: I did! I know your birthday, Harry! You're famous, after all.

Lockhart: Fame is as Fame does, Harry.

Harry, Ron and Draco: *brows furrowed in thought* What does fame do?

Lockhart: I…err… dunno, maybe Dumbledore does!

*15 minutes later, all the famous witches and wizards are in the DADA classroom, like Viktor

Krum, Ludo Bagman, Dumbledore, Rita Skeeter, Harry, Lockhart, The Weird Sisters and so

on*

Krum: Vhy are there Gryffindors and Slytherin here?

Lockhart: Don't mind them.

Class: Hey!

Dumbledore: *Claps Hands* Silence! We are here to establish what exactly fame does. Any

suggestions?

*Crickets Chirp*

Ludo Bagman: Err, no. Does anyone want to play some Quidditch?

Krum: Oh! Me! Me! Mister Bagman! I vould!

Ludo Bagman: Maybe fame does Quidditch, since all of us like Quidditch and we're famous.

Malfoy: *suddenly pipes up* But fame can't do Quidditch since fame isn't a real person, right?

Harry: Who asked you?!

Dumbledore: *sighs* He does have a point, Harry. I think we need a 283rd opinion! Somebody get Merlin!

Harry: NEW GAME!!!

(^_^)(^_^)(^_^)(^_^)(^_^)(^_^)(^_^)(^_^)(^_^)(^_^)(^_^)(^_^)(^_^)(^_^)(^_^)

A/N: R&R! Anyway, here are the summaries! See if you like 'em!

Punishment: Harry and Draco cause an explosion and class and are subjected to the Muggle World for a school year. Watch as your favorite pair go through Chemistry, English and all your other subjects!

Butterfly: Draco is like a butterfly, you can lose him just as fast as he had come. But if he returns…how do you know it's still him? (read to find out)

Paper Crane: Based on the teaser trailer. The one with the choir thing. Malfoy blew a paper crane then, but to whom?

Waiting for Monday: When Harry goes to Ron and Hermione's house for the weekend, will Draco be waiting for Monday…forever?

If you like 'em! Click my pen name and R&R! Wahaha! (Sorry…coffee overload, I guess)