Chapter III

This is Mamimi Now

Have you ever noticed how life, like the world, sometimes seems to go in circles? How you know that winter has passed, though you know it will eventually come back. The longer I stay here the more I realize how hard life can be and I sometimes wonder if I'll see life revolve. At times I think so but I don't know if I'll be able to handle my coldest winter a second time.

But my cold days are nothing compared to what she went through.

For the first time, Mamimi and I had a long, serious conversation. I had a lot of questions and Mamimi seemed eager to answer.

Word was that Mamimi had become a famous photographer in America with newspapers and publishing companies. No one knew the truth though since no one had seen nor heard a word from her since she left and people tend to exaggerate at times.

"Famous isn't exactly the word I'd use." Mamimi said after I explained it to her. Her calm expression changed to a very familiar and depressing one as we broke into a short silence. "America's not exactly the land of opportunity like I thought it was."

The tone of Mamimi's voice became more uneasy the longer we spoke, from calm to a very melancholy one. In her tone and the way she spoke you could feel a particular sense of maturity coming from Mamimi that wasn't there before. In the passing time she seemed to have changed dramatically. It was odd and unsettling.

"So, how has your career been going?" I asked. We evacuated the kitchen and moved out to the back side of the house. It was dark out with a soothing, warm breeze. The unsettling feeling I'd felt passed on once we were out there. It was relieving.

"I take pictures for a living," She said. "How do you think its going?"

I became a little confused by the way she'd said that. "I thought you liked taking pictures."

"I did." She said. "Well I do but…."

"But what?"

"Taking pictures is fun but it's hard to find a good job."

"Is the pay bad?" I asked.

"The pay stinks." She said with a smile. "Freelance thinks."

"Freelance?"

"Yeah. That's what they called it." She said then explained it to me. "I take the pictures and send them in and if they like them, I get paid. But it's hard to find stuff they like."

"Okay. Your pay does stink. Where'd you live then?" I asked.

"I lived in a cheap hotel. It always smelled bad there and most of the stuff didn't work but I never made enough money to move. When I did get some money, after I got some food and paid the rent, I was broke again. For a while," She said with a smile. "I had to live outside.

"I see." I said in what I hoped was a comforting tone. There was nothing to smile about, yet she did so anyway. I suppose that was just a part of her character though. No matter what was going one, she always seemed weird and happy. Some things never change.

For as long as I've known Mamimi it's been this way for her. She's always had an unstable life.

A few months ago I read an article in a mini-zine about Mamimi. There was a small section talking about her fame in America, then a long two page bio on her. It described how her parents left her behind back when she was my age: 'One day, her mother and father dropped her off at school and never came back. No one knows what happened to them'.

The week after that there were rumors all over town about Mamimi. Some people said that her parents were too poor to keep her while others say that they were dead, though no one could recall any memories of them.

Mamimi never spoke of her parents either and while I never knew, I'd sometimes wonder where she lived. I'd always either see her with my brother or down by the river after he left. Now wasn't the time to ask. I didn't bother bringing any of that up either. I didn't believe they hype considering the source. My dad was a terrible researcher.

"Anyway, how's it been for you lately, Ta-Kun?"

"A lot better since Haruko left," I said. "And even better once all the jokes stopped." For a while after, people made fun of me for saying to Haruko that I loved her. It was annoying and I was glad when it stopped.

"Oh. Ta-Kun was embarrassed?" She asked. "You don't have to be ashamed because you were in love."

"Is that right?"

"I don't feel bad about Tasuku, if that's what you mean." That was exactly what I meant and it seemed strange to me that she picked up on it so fast and even more so that she came out and said something about it.

"Yeah, well, you didn't love somebody was insane, smashed you with guitars all the time, and was constantly being hit on by your father did you?"

"Well when you put it like that, maybe you should wear a paper bag over your head." Said with a big smile. I returned her a little glare and stood to go back inside. The warm breeze from earlier turned cold and I was tired. "Past your bed time?" She asked.

"No. I'm just tired." I continued most of the way in but I never slid the door closed. I stopped when I noticed that Mamimi hadn't moved from the spot where she was sitting. "You gonna sit there all night?" I asked.

"No." She responded, curling up into a ball and leaning against the wall.

"Hmph. I thought so." I said to myself. Mamimi turned and looked at me with curious eyes for a moment but didn't speak. "It's fine." I said. "You can stay here for the night. My dad won't mind but just tonight. Tomorrow you gotta go somewhere else."

Mamimi jumped up with glee and dashed in the door before me, cheerfully replying, "Thanks" as she passed. As I had somewhat expected, Mamimi had nowhere to go, if she ever did but that didn't explain why she came here.

"You can sleep in grandpa's old room." I told her. That room was now vacant with grandpa gone. He moved into a rest home a few months after that day. It was a fine room after we fixed it up, though Mamimi firmly refused my offer with a stern shake of her head and crossed arms. "What's wrong now?" I asked.

"I like bunk beds better." She responded.

"You can't have my bed!" I shouted.

"I'll sleep on the top then."

"That's…." I hesitated in my speech noticing Mamimi's gaze. In my mind I had the complaint laid out that it was Haruko's bed and was to be untouched just as I had when Haruko first came when it was Tasuku's forbidden bed. But there was no reason to preserve it. Haruko wasn't coming back and I didn't want her to either, so I told Mamimi "Fine. Sleep where you want."

Mamimi nodded and smiled happily. I smiled a bit too and thought. Mamimi had never slept here before, even when Tasuku was around. After he left she was pretty much forbidden to even be here by my grandfather. She seemed excited and oddly, I was too.

Before we turned in, I had one more thing to ask Mamimi. I stopped her with my question. "If you're so broke, how'd you pay to get from America back here?" I asked.

The question seemed to stump her. She kept her back to me and looked down in thought. Perhaps she would have preferred to keep it a secret because she hesitated a while before she answered. After a moment, she turned to me and sat down on the stairs, prepared to answer, she began her tale. An odd sense of maturity showed as she spoke.

"You know why I went to America, Ta-Kun?"

"Your photography career, right?"

"I wanted to find Tasuku." She said and I choked. The air froze in my lungs when she spoke. I didn't care much to hear that although it was what I had suspected and I knew already that she did indeed find him, though something had went wrong. "I heard he played baseball for a team in this place called Utah. They were called the 'Star-something's'. His team was away when I first got there so I had to wait a month before they came back. I saved all the money I made and bought front row tickets to the game when they came back. I was so happy when I saw him."

"But…" I tried to speak but Mamimi ignored my words and continued on.

"It was a close game too. Tasuku's team was down by two runs and it was the bottom of the last inning. There were men at first and second and Tasuku was at bat; he'd went the whole night with no strikes but hit two foul balls this time. He looked determined to swing again. This next pitch would mean the game."

"Mamimi…."

"The pitcher was good, too. He threw six strikes already in the inning and was ready to end it. He pulled back and threw the fastest fast ball I ever saw. But Tasuku was ready, he anticipated a fast ball and pulled his elbows up and swung.

"The ball curved at the last second but Tasuku hit it anyway, a high fly ball the center field. It just flew and flew and flew and went straight out of the park."

"Um, Mamimi." And again I was ignored.

"The whole stadium went wild. I jumped up and screamed and threw my popcorn out onto the field while all Tasuku's teammates stormed the field, jumped all over him and scooping him into the air. People in the crowd were shouting his name."

"But Mamimi." I spoke again, still not getting through. It was strange watching Mamimi tell me this. Her eyes were wide and focused. She spoke but never looked at me once, as if she were in a trance or day dreaming and she seemed so excited. But she was missing the point.

"I just kept on yelling until I saw one of the fans run on the field. I was surprised no one stopped her; this cute little blond in a skirt and sweater. She ran up to the players and set Tasuku down in front of her. He took one look at her and opened his arms for her to run in to. I couldn't speak."

I watched in amazement as Mamimi's entire demeanor changed. She calmed down as spoke with a lower tone as she continued. I just stood and watched.

"A cameraman ran onto the field and got a shot of them right when Tasuku threw his hat down and kissed her, they showed it under the scoreboard on the big screen. I sat back down while everyone else kept cheering and watched as Tasuku picked up his hat and everyone began to clear out."

Mamimi's eyes began to water at this point. She reached out and pulled me in to dry them on my shirt. I snarled to myself and pulled back. "But none of that answers my question." I said to her. Again, I was ignored.

"I just sat there until everyone left and until it got dark. I sat there until the security came to get me but when I turned to see who had touched my shoulder I saw Tasuku standing there, smiling."

"What did he say?" I asked.

"He complimented me on my outfit." She said with a smile. "A bright yellow shirt with a green T on the front and a green skirt. Team colors. He said it was hard to miss."

"And?"

"He asked me why I was there, so I lied and told him I got a scholarship for school. He didn't buy that for a second so I changed the subject and asked him why he never wrote me or anything."

"And?"

"He explained to me how he never planned on coming back here and didn't think he'd ever see me again, so he moved on and he wanted me to do the same."

"Okay," I said. "So you talked, but that still doesn't answer my question."

"I robbed a bank," She snapped. "Okay!"

"What, did you shoot them with your camera?" I said jokingly. She smiled a bit.

"Ha, ha. Real funny." She said. "Before Tasuku left he wrote me a check, kissed me on the cheek and said: 'Go home and say hi to my brother next time you see him'. By the way, Ta-Kun, Tasuku says 'Hi'. I didn't think he meant to go back to the hotel, so I came here."

I paused a moment and looked at her. "You take things to literally." I told her and I began my way upstairs after I passed her, all the while wondering why she came here. This isn't her home.

She didn't follow me immediately. She sat there for a moment and ominously said to me, "You've changed a lot too, Ta-Kun. I like the new you."

/\

I had to give Mamimi a pair of my own pajamas to wear when I realized she didn't have a pair of her own. She rummaged through her bag aimlessly while complaining that she had nothing to sleep in. I suspected she was waiting for me to make an offer.

The set I gave her was pretty new. I had grown some since I last saw her and I needed larger clothes. Luckily for her. I was still shorter than her but not by much so what I have she was just a little too short and a little too tight on her.

Strangely, I found myself staring at her. A warm, examining gaze as my mind began to drift off and I remembered how things used to be between us. A day ago I could have cared less but right now, as my heard began to beat faster and faster, I wished that things could go back to the way they were.

When I lay down in bed I still could not take my mind off her. Her voice, her body, her strange personality all seemed so perfect to me all of a sudden and when I admitted it to myself, all my muscles tightened and I felt an annoying pull in my stomach. I had a crush on Mamimi. Again.

/\

It was the first peaceful night's sleep I'd had in a while. No bad dreams, no turning and twisting. All my problems seemed to disappear when I thought about Mamimi sleeping above me. I had nothing to worry about.

I probably should have seen it coming but it was the last thing on my mind. Everything changed when the small pocket notebook landed on my forehead with a soft smack. Everything changed. Now I had something to worry about.