WR: My quarter year's resolution is to finish what I have started. I will finish this. I will. Hah. I don't care if I have writer's block every time. And I swear, I'm not going to make this the cliché boy meets girl, girl likes boy, boy likes girl fic. I swear. On my dead hamster's grave.
Kibo: Moo.
Desolate: So is that what you think?
Kibo: Moo.
Desolate: For a cow you're very smart.
Kibo: Moo (rams Desolate into the wall).
~*~
Getting kicked out his own house was not fun. Well, technically it wasn't his house, but still, getting kicked out of a home was not a fun experience. Especially because he was still very much homeless. Now Naruto was used to sleeping around in various places – once he even found himself in the bushes with sticks prodding up his sodding arse, but he had never actually been homeless. It was disconcerting, to say the least. So where was he to go? Sleeping on the streets for a couple of days would provoke unwanted stares. Sleeping in someone's house would be inappropriate. Most of the guys were living with their women and would not want him to disturb their nightly activities. As for the women – well, let's just say those he knew had held a justifiable grudge against him.
"Yo Naruto!" Shikamaru jogged past him, giving him a thumbs up sign. So even the ignorant Jounin had heard of his current dilemma.
Gossip must spread around fast these days, Naruto mused, yawning tiredly.
Well, it started a couple of hours ago. He and Sakura were undoubtedly arguing about the latest piece of furniture she had bought. He wouldn't have minded so much if it wasn't so darn expensive – but she paid for it out of his money. Now Naruto was not petty, he was just…petty. So when he brought up his argument against the piece of wood (as he liked to call it) she started spewing all different types of insults at him. He had had his fair share of insults in the past, but to hear it coming out of his own girlfriend was a different thing. So he broke up with her right there and then. It was an immature thing, at best, but he had had enough verbal abusing in his life.
"Out!" she had screamed at him. And so he went on his merry, homeless way to the streets. Without even a change of clothes (and underwear)!
"Damn it!" he muttered, kicking a few stone pebbles out of his way. He had to find a place by midnight, or he was once again, going to freeload off someone.
"Hey Naruto," Chouji patted him on the shoulder, "I heard what happened, man. I'm sorry about it," the boy even offered Naruto the piece of beef jerky he was eating. Truthfully, Naruto was surprised at the outpouring of sympathy he had experienced – it was as though everyone thought a breakup with Sakura would totally asunder him. Well, he wouldn't want to interlude on their hospitality – so he took the food and proceeded to talk with Chouji.
"Hey, man," he looked the other boy sincerely in the eye, "you think I can stay a while in your place?"
Greetings of silence were what welcomed him.
"Umm," Chouji mumbled, "I got to go now. Bye!"
And with that, the brown haired Chuunin disappeared from his sight.
Damn it. Another lost opportunity.
~*~
"Ne, Ino," Sakura sighed, "What do I do? I mean, I just kicked him out like that!" Sakura buried her face in her hands. The pink-haired girl was admittedly distraught.
"Well, he broke up with you, right?" Ino rubbed Sakura's back, swearing she would kill Naruto when she next saw him. The boy had given her her fair share of trouble. She would love to see him suffer – not because he had caused Sakura some undisputed dilemma, but because the last time she saw him, he had caused a ruckus in her home.
"But I know he wasn't being serious!" Sakura whined, shifting Ino's attention back to her troubled friend, "and I just kicked him out like that!"
"Let him learn his lesson," Ino nodded in determination, "and when he finally does come running back to you, you can welcome him in again."
Or not, Ino thought. She wouldn't want Naruto visiting alongside Sakura in her home again.
"You sure about that?" Sakura sniffed – and admittedly, Ino felt quite guilty about her last thought.
"Of course," the blonde smiled. "It's Naruto, he'll come back to you, I promise."
Sakura grinned.
~*~
Well he supposed he would have to give up his petty ways someday. It was time to get a new apartment. Preferably a run-down building that wouldn't have high maintenance costs.
There I go again, he thought, mentally slapping himself for his lack of spending skills. It wasn't his fault that his first few years of living alone were surrounded by fellow friends Poverty and Economic Depression. When Iruka had gotten married, he moved out to give the happy couple personal space – he also hated Iruka's wife, but that was a whole different story.
The cheapest apartment district should be around here, he thought, entering a grayed out building.
Walls surrounded by moss; plumbing seems to be down – must be pretty cheap, he grinned from ear to ear.
"Hello?" he rang the front bell twice in no succession. The damn thing was covered with rust and strange white spots. Fungi, was it? What a home sweet home it was going to be.
"Yes?" an old man came out, greeting him with a reddened
nose. He looked much like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer would after a bad
hangover.
"Have you got any rooms in here?" Naruto asked,
already losing patience with the old man. For Pete's sake, he was jittering
around in an annoying 'I Need To Pee' hop.
"Sorry?" the man's dumb expression fit in well with his slurred voice.
"Any rooms in here?" Naruto pronounced each word carefully, hoping the man wasn't deaf as well as stupid.
"Oh! You want to meet the mistress!" he said jovially –
convivially even.
"Mistress?" Naruto blinked,
wondering what the hell was going on. If Mistress was some sick term for room,
then he would be out of the place as soon as possible. He didn't need any more
anomalies in his life.
"Yes," the man grinned, "you here to get some mooney-mooney-nice-nice, yah?"
"Mooney- mooney-nice-nice?" Naruto lifted his brow. Now he had never heard that term before, but he could swear it was -
"We have many girl, yah?" the old man ran a tongue over his yellow teeth, dangling a few random keys in front of Naruto. "Now Yiba is a little feisty, but she very good, yah," he informed the blonde, "and Karina's just a doll…"
"Umm…It's alright. Really. I have to leave," Naruto's stoic face turned a grave white, "now," he insisted, looking frantically about the place. Ah. There was the door he came through.
"Are you sure, mister?" the old man whined, grinning like a Cheshire cat, "girl here will like you very much," he suggested, clapping his hands together before rubbing his belly.
"No really, it's alright," Naruto shivered as he ran out the noisy door, slamming it as he bit his lower lip.
Maybe a little too cheap, he shuddered.
~*~
Ino had never thought Sakura, of all people, would stoop to that level for Naruto. She wondered what had happened to her friend –where was the girl who hated all idiots but Sasuke? Where was the girl who despised Naruto and his naïve demeanor? True, Naruto had gotten better over the past few years – hell, he had become a treasured fighter, and had somehow developed an ear for listening – but it was the same Naruto overall. Except to Sakura he was some sort of demi-god who had come down to earth especially for her
Sakura, Sakura, Ino mused, you are completely, and utterly in love with that idiot. I just hope you don't kill yourself over him.
She grabbed her remote control as she sat herself comfortably on a nearby chair. Overall, it had been one of the better days – nothing to interrupt her peace and serenity other than Sakura coming in with tears streaming down her cheeks. And the electricity seemed to be working again today. Which was good. Because normally she had to light up several packets of candles before she could work her way around the place.
Ino sighed as she hit the power button on the remote. Once. Then twice. And then, for some odd reason, thrice before she realized the complete inevitable.
The electricity's gone again! She screamed mentally, throwing her useless remote at the TV, stupid piece of crap! And now I bet the water's dead as well!
~*~
Three hours ago Naruto would have settled for a higher-maintenance apartment. Now he would settle for a night on the street – preferably with a few trash bags to accommodate his sleeping needs. It was terrible. Terrible. There was no other way to describe it. All the apartments he had visited were either filled with drunkards and other knick-knacks, or were like the first. The only apartment left was (God forbid it) Ino's one.
Now Naruto had visited it once before – with Sakura of course. Ino as a hostess was more tolerable than Normal Ino. Well, except for the stone glares he had received from the woman every now and then. Nevertheless, if he did rent out a room in that apartment, he would bump into Ino – not as a hostess, but as a normal woman. And that scared him. No matter how skilled he was in the ninja department, a woman with a temper that easily broken would be able to kill him instantly.
Oh well, he sighed, I better ask if they have room, or else I might just have to be homeless after all.
~*~
"There's a room on level thirteen, sir," the manager
informed him, handing over the rusty key to Naruto.
It seemed to be in decent shape. Not too many cracks in the cement – and very
few unprecedented animals running around the complex.
"You sure the building's safe?" he asked again, sniffing the putrid air.
"Of course, sir! Why, just because a few boards haven't been installed in the floor, and the plumbing's a bit down, and the electricity is quite dubious, doesn't mean that your safety isn't guaranteed. And besides, you're a ninja right?" The blonde Jounin nodded.
"Seriously, what the hell is this nasty smell?" he pinched his nose.
"That would be our cafeteria, sir."
"How very," he struggled to find the right word, "interesting."
"You'll be fine, sonny boy," Naruto grimaced as he received a swift pat on the back.
"Thank you for letting me rent out on such short notice," he nodded, hopping up the levels. He sighed heavily as he approached his room.
"Damn," he muttered, opening the door to the place, coughing as a gamut of dust found its way up his nostrils.
To call it a room would be an overstatement. Maybe it was
more like a…box. With very many holes. And water
dripping down the walls – which were currently infested by strange green things
that he supposed were parasitic moss dwellings. But
what really caught his eye – for it was the biggest piece of art adorning the
room – was the 5 foot hole stretching from one side of a wall to the other.
"What the hell is that?" he made his way over to the hole he had dubbed as "The
Thing." Reaching The Thing was like trying to reach out to a woman – entirely impossible,
and if done, completely unrewarding.
"Oh shit," he cursed. After all, who wouldn't? Yamazaka Ino's face was boring right into his own.
~*~
WR: Fine. It sucks. It's fluffy and damn…it's fluffy. But it won't be fluffy. It really, really won't be fluffy later on. It won't even be like a cloud! Argh. I'm a big wad of fluff. There's nothing wrong with fluff. It's just that…I can never write non-fluff. Wait. I just can never write. Hah. Beat that.
Naruto: You're crazy.
Desolate: I know. I'm crazy for you.
Naruto: I'm going away.
Desolate: Wait!
Naruto: If you're going to make me star inside this fic…
Desolate: But I have many things to give you!
Naruto: Oh, like what?
Desolate: Ramen.
Naruto: Really?
Desolate: Yes. And Kibo over here.
Kibo: Moo.
Naruto: …
Kibo: Moo.
