A/N: Alison spoke to Rafe about what was wrong with Kate but are they really talking?? Hmm. Read & see. Until 27 - xox - G
Chapter Twenty-six
Dawn was breaking. Rafe held the keys with shaky hands and opened the door to the house. He held it open and watched Alison walk inside. He carried the seat that held his daughter and followed behind.
"She's still asleep." He whispered.
"Just put her down on the couch. I'll get her out." She instructed, her voice barely audible. Her eyes hurt from crying so and she was completely worn out.
Rafe watched his wife take care of their child and his eyes filled with tears, mostly from exhaustion. Gazing at them made him remember all that had happened the night before.
Once they got to GH they had walked into the ER and within seconds a nurse whisked Katrina away. As she did - Alison broke down completely and collapsed in his arms.
As he held her close and let her cry his mind raced. He was just as terrified.
It didn't take long for them to figure out the problem. It took about fifteen minutes. It was the most frightening fifteen minutes of their lives.
The doctor checked Katrina out and it seemed she was just a little dehydrated. Once they started to treat her - her fever subsided. They kept her overnight just in case .
As Katrina slept they had sat beside her, their hands entwined, united in the worry and concern they held for their daughter.
Even though it had all turned out all right - the experience was truly something neither Rafe nor Alison wanted to experience again.
"I'm bringing her in with us. I won't be able to stand it if she's in her room alone. Can you set up the crib?" Alison asked as she walked slowly up the stairs.
"Sure." Rafe replied as he followed behind.
After he did, Alison placed Katrina gently down in the center and tucked her in. She stared at her for a moment before she turned away and began to cry again.
"Alison…" Rafe sighed as he walked over and took her into his arms.
She clung to him and sobbed. She was surprised she still could she'd cried so much the night before.
"She's OK." He whispered, trying to reassure her as much as himself, "It's alright."
Alison fought to regain control and pulled away . "I'm sorry. It's just - Rafe. I've never been so scared."
"I know." He replied as he wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Me either."
Alison took a deep breath and moved further away. She stared into his eyes and smoothed his hair off his forehead. "You should sleep. You have to go to work later."
He shook his head as he whispered to her. "I'll sleep later. Alison. Now that we know Kate's OK - I need to talk to you."
She shook her head no. "I don't want to. Not now" She whispered.
"Don't do that." Rafe pleaded. "Don't shut me out like that."
He should have been more careful with the words he used.
"Shut you out?" Alison cried, her voice shaking, careful not to wake Kate. She spoke in hushed tones but her voice was harsh. "PLEASE. Rafe. I'm not the one who kept the fact that Livvie was here to myself for days."
Rafe fought to explain. "You're absolutely right. I should have told you right away - but you told me you weren't going to let it bother you and I just couldn't..."
She stared at him dumbfounded as she cut him off. "Don't you dare. Don't even think of turning this on me. This is not my fault. I know exactly what our problem is. You don't think I can handle anything anymore. You think I'm just useless. I'm just someone who can't be upset because she'll get too hysterical. I know it's true. Just admit it."
Rafe was completely shocked. "Alison. NO. You've got it all wrong."
Shaking her head - she turned her back on him and moved to stare out the window. "I don't have anything to offer you to help you fight - You don't have to say it - I get it now."
"Stop it." He demanded as he crossed to her and held her still. "You have more than enough to offer."
She cut him off and wiped at her eyes. "Don't patronize me Rafe. I'm not a child."
"Alison. Please." He took her hand an brought it to his lips. "Please. Sit down and talk to me."
She was too tired to fight him. Alison walked to the bed and sat down as he followed behind.
"I love you," He began.
Alison looked at him and sighed. "I know that - Rafe. I know that you love me. But you don't need me and that's the problem."
Rafe looked at her - stunned. "You think I don't need you?!? That's what this is about?!?"
She took a deep breath and nodded - tears still streaming down her cheeks. "I don't think. I know. I know that you don't need me. Not when you're doing stuff like this. You've got Abby and now you've got Cam. I get it. I can't help you."
He stared into her eyes, desperate to make her understand. "That's not why we didn't tell you - Alison. I can't even believe - " He sighed as he finished. "You couldn't be more wrong."
Alison knew the truth. His words were sweet but she was sure he was just trying to make her feel better.
Rafe ran a hand over the side of her face, his fingers running through her hair as he gazed into her eyes. "I don't exist without you. You understand that - right?"
Alison sighed as she nodded. "I brought you back. I know that."
"Before I met you - Alison - I didn't care. I chased after evil and I wasn't at all careful. I didn't have to be. I had no one - Alison. I'm sure no one even noticed I was gone after Caleb killed me. Could you imagine a life like that?"
Alison shook her head no. Though her life was lonely - she always had had someone who cared about her.
"Then - I was assigned to protect Lucy and I know she would have missed me - but it was still pretty easy to walk away from her."
He held her gaze and lowered his voice to a near whisper. "It was absolutely impossible to walk away from you."
His hands ran up and down her arms and tried to pull her closer. Though they were merely inches apart it still felt like she was so far away.
"I need you Alison - so much it frightens me. I never needed anyone before I met you and it's taken me a long time to wrap my head around that. You're right. I do try my best to shield you from certain things that go on. If you feel like I do I want you to know why. Sometimes it's because I can't stand seeing you sad. I promised you that I would do everything I could to make you happy and I just want to keep that promise. Sometimes it's because I'm scared that I won't be able to protect you and I don't want you to worry."
"Rafe…" Alison sighed.
Rafe was far from finished. "If something ever happened to you - only now because of Katrina would I be able to go on. But if I lost you -" His voice shook with emotion. He didn't even want to say the words - let alone think about what they would actually mean. "Alison - if you were gone - a huge part of me would die too. I'd be half the person I am."
He plodded on - wanting to make sure she got it. "I should have told you about Livvie. It was wrong to keep you out of it. But you need to know that I the reason I did was because of me not knowing how to deal with the possibility of living without you - not because you can't help. The fact is that ever since I found you the only way I can possibly do what I need to is because I have you here with me."
His words were beautiful. As she looked in his eyes - Alison was sure she'd never loved him more. She still wanted to make him see what she meant though, "But - that's just it. I just add to your problems - don't I?? I can't help you fight. If it weren't for me…"
"I know now that you think you don't have any powers. Maybe you can't disappear and transport yourself. Maybe you can't slay a vampire but Alison - don't you understand? Your love - that's the most powerful thing. It's the most powerful thing I've ever seen. You - by yourself - you're stronger than the rest of us put together.
"That's sweet - Rafe - but it's not…" She protested.
Rafe kissed her then to make her stop. "It's true." He pulled her closer. "You think that it's a chore for me to have to run around and save you? It's not. I'd do it every single day if that's what it took to keep you here with me. The truth is - the truth's always been that you're the real hero. You save me - every single day - from ever having to become what I used to be ever again - someone so lonely they didn't care if they lived or died."
"Rafe." She whispered as his mouth closed over hers.
"I need you - Alison." He promised as he wrapped his arms tighter around her, kissing her over and over again. "I need you."
