WR: Tee hee. Anyway, I will be away until Friday, so don't expect any updates until then. Anyway, I'm going to clear up a few things at the end of the chapter. And also, Naruto and Ino are not beginning to like each other. Ino is just…like that. And Naruto is just a lazy ass (sometimes). Oh yes, expect the appearing of other characters in later chapters.

Kibo: Moo.
Desolate: Shut up Kibo.

Kibo: Moo.

~*~

"Naruto!" Ino yelled, fuming as she picked up the piece of despicable trash in her room, "What the hell is this doing here?"

Naruto yawned as he scratched his stomach. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that he should answer the Pit-Bull currently hounding him – but he was resting, and damnit, no one disturbed his sleep. Besides, after that drink contest with Neji and the boys yesterday, there was no way he would get up and welcome his (rather large) hangover.

"Naruto!" Ino stomped. One week living with the guy and she was ready to kill herself – perhaps her dying remains would be a reminder to the poor sod who would even dare to think of living with Naruto. "Hey!" she whined, nudging him in the ribs. The guy was unusually quiet for this time of the day. Perhaps there was something terri—

"Ino," Naruto muttered darkly, "get out of my way," he shoved her foot away.

"Don't you --…"

"I'm serious," he whispered diabolically.

"I swear, you're so cr--…"

But dear Ino could not have finished her sentence, for sitting in front of her was a belching Naruto. And on her foot was some warm, hot liquid alloyed together with a gruesome smell.

"Told you so," Naruto coughed, slamming his body down on the floor. "I mean, you just wouldn't go away."

"Na-ru-to," Ino seethed.

"What?" he blinked.

"Argh!" she screamed in frustration, "Damn you!" she threw the piece of trash at him before finally running into her own room.

"Women," he muttered, "such equivocal creatures." And so he rested amidst a piece of trash, scratching his stomach whilst listening to an angry Ino yelling curses at him. Life, it seemed, was normal again.

Just like times with Sakura, Naruto chuckled, face buried in his pillow. Damn girl would always yell at me in the morning, telling me to clean up the house, or wash the dishes. And she didn't even give a damn about the missions I was in – it was never, "how are you Naruto?" or "how'd it go Naruto?" It was orders, orders, orders…

Well it was about due time he stopped taking orders – and it was about due time that Sakura grew up and learned that not everyone was willing to be her puppet. Oh yes, Lee was willing to – and certainly a couple of other boys – but Naruto was free of that strange longing to be dominated over. And besides, the old chain and ball never appealed to him. He preferred the days when he could fall asleep, scratching his stomach, without some woman cursing at him for his sloppy demeanor. He preferred going to missions, adrenaline coursing through his veins, and then falling asleep on his comfortable bed. Yes, that was what he preferred.

But nobody got what they preferred – unless they were God. And Naruto certainly was no God. So he lived day by day, tolerating the measly little life he had been awarded with. Sometimes it was good. Sometimes Sakura would tend his wounds and tell him to be careful instead of to kill the spider on the other side of the room. Sometimes he could fall asleep with a bottle of beer in his hands, instead of with a woman in his arms.

And after he had left Sakura, after he thought he had left behind his past, he supposed that he could live his dream everyday. But now he was stuck with Ino, who might as well have been Sakura's twin. And ironically, most sardonically of all, there was no way in hell he would move.

~*~

"Stupid guy," Ino gritted her teeth as she cleaned her foot, "so that's what he was doing last night. Celebration of a completed mission my ass!" she clenched her fists and proceeded to jump out the bath.

Living with Naruto was a hell of a lot different than she had expected. True, he was a jerk at times, but he was more tolerable than some.

Shikamaru¸ she shuddered. The asshole hadn't even respected her unalterable right to privacy. Come to think of it, he was always either hounding her from alpha to omega, or he was just lazing around the house, eating chips as he flipped through the channels. But there were good moments. Extremely good moments when he and she would hold hands and talk about life; when he spilled his dreams to her and rubbed her arms because it was cold. He had said, at one point that life was going perfectly for him. He had a girlfriend, who would cook miso soup and rice for him. He had three old bottles of wine in the garage, all of which he would sell upon retirement. He had a job, in which he did not receive out-of-town missions. Yes, he was a lazy ass, but sometimes he was a good lazy ass who could yap and yap but never bore.

Ino shook her head and grinned, the past is the past, she thought, grabbing the batch of eggs in her refrigerator.

"Eh?" she blinked, "why the hell is it empty?"

Naruto! She remembered him eating his ramen with three eggs at his side. He's in trouble now!

But when she decided to peep by his room, the blonde boy was already gone.

~*~

"Damn Tsunade," Naruto kicked the pebbles out of his way. "Calling me this early in the morning for a mission."

"Naruto, it's three in the afternoon," Neji reminded him, trailing behind as he suppressed a yawn. "Besides, she won't call us unless it's something important."

"Well she could've called someone on commission!" he complained, tapping his foot impatiently. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples, trying not to succumb to his hang-over, "I'm on leave, damnit."

"As of when?" Neji raised a brow.

"Yesterday! Remember when Lee came in and told me Tsunade had given me a break?" Naruto asked, sitting on the sidewalk. The sun seemed to be mocking him as it danced in the sky. Damn UV rays, he bit his tongue, they never told us in training that we were much more likely to die of heat exposure than the missions themselves.

"Naruto," Neji sighed, "Lee didn't tell you that you were on leave."

"What do you mean?"

"He told you that there was a breeze," the boy explained, "and that a woman was having trouble with her skirt."

"Was that why…"

"—He left early?" Neji clapped his hands, "very good Naruto. Now you can put two and two together." Naruto left the sarcastic remark to pass over his head. "You're not a very good drinker, are you?"

"Hey!" Naruto stood up to his full height. Which was a measly inch below Neji, "I am a good drinker!"

"Yes Naruto," Neji waved him off, giving him a superior smirk, "that's why you were the big loser yesterday."

"Hmph," Naruto scowled. Apparently the Hyuuga had not changed much over the years. Yes, he had grown and matured, and all that other shit put together – but it was still Neji-the-Egotistical-Megalomaniac on the inside. Besides, the boy still had not gotten over the fact that Naruto, of all people, had beaten him to the Jounin position.

"Really, when the hell is Tsunade coming?" Neji growled, turning on his Byakugan.

"How should I know?" the blonde boy picked up a rabbit and started to feed it. The thing had an unusual fetish for dried grass, it seemed. He laughed as it ran away from him, kicking dirt into his face.

"What are you, a kid?" Neji sat down beside him, summoning three rocks to his direction before throwing them at the rabbit. "It's such a shame that such animals were created," he glared, "so useless and inessential. There is no point to their lives. Much like there is no point to ours. We are the tools of a woman whose prime ambition is to stay young forever."

"True," Naruto lay on the ground, "but we could quit anytime. We could live for ourselves, build our own cities – we all have the power to do that. But we choose to stay," he closed his eyes, "because this place suits us. We are at home here. We eat, we breathe, we sleep, we drink, we play games and sing here. Maybe we are a tool for Tsunade, or a puppet for the village. But at least we are being used for a purpose in which we believe in."

"Cut the crap about protecting the village," Neji gripped the blonde's shirt, "if our goal was to protect the village then it would suffice that we stay here and defend it if an attack were to come. There are no such needs for assassinations and late-night plots for invasions," he stared at the blonde, baring his teeth as he tried to make his point.

"Well," Naruto stood, wiping the dust off of his pants, "I know you've had more than your fair share of despair," he stretched, "but if you keep dwelling on it then I suppose it's only logical that you stop what you're doing. Whatever you decide to do, you better stand up now," he commanded, "Tsuande's here."

And for once, Neji shut his trap hole at exactly the right moment.

~*~

"I hate men," Tsunade yelled, scaring away more than a few animals.

"And why exactly should that be?" Naruto raised a brow, wondering what her current dilemma was. If it was not Jiraiya chasing after three hundred young girls at a time, it was Jiraiya engrossed in his own perverted novels. Come to think of it, Icha Icha paradise was still underneath his pillow. If Ino found it there, then it was safe to say that Naruto would no longer be alive for the next sunrise. Ino had a strange hatred for perverts and the like.

"Orochimaru," she tried to explain, breathless. "There's been reports that --…" she motioned for the two to sit down, "There's been reports that he's gathering his minions again."

"But I thought we…" Naruto protested, receiving a wondrous glare from both Tsunade and Neji.

"Yes, yes," Tsunade rolled her eyes; "you infiltrated his bases and terminated them all. But Big O's still alive and he's resurrecting his power."

"Like you and your youth," Neji muttered sarcastically. Much to the dismay of Naruto, Tsunade did not catch the insult.

"Anyway, Big O and his little people are planning something, well…big."

"What wonderful vocabulary she has," Neji whispered to Naruto. The blonde grimaced as Tsunade continued to explain.

"I've got people telling me that Big O's planning to invade the Mist, the Sand, and us."

"So--…"

"Wait!" Tsunade held up her hand, "Sasuke's going to be his right-hand-man."

"Sasuke?" Naruto whispered, shuddering in disgust at the mention of the Uchiha's name. "But I thought he was labeled as inactive."

"Not anymore, sonny boy," Tsunade grabbed her bag, taking out a bottle of beer, "Sasuke's back and he's better than ever," she took a large sip before smashing the bottle on a nearby rock. "You see that?" the two boys nodded, "that's how easily he can kill now. He hasn't got the heart you do, Naruto. And he hasn't got your patience, Neji. He's fallen in love with his ambition, and he will eliminate whatever is in his way."

"So I suppose you've called us to stop him and Orochi-chan?" Naruto asked excitedly.

"Oh!" Tsunade clapped her hands, "how did you guess?"

"Any fool could have done so," the Hyuuga replied.

"A jackass as always, Hyuuga," Tsunade commented, "I see you've even mastered your skills of lame insults and idiotic commentaries. Don't think that your little whispers have gotten by me. I might be old, but I got good ears boy."

"You got a team ready for us, Tsunade?" Naruto interrupted their daily glaring. Neji and Tsunade were not what one might call 'best friends.' In fact, they were quite the opposite. Why, just a while ago Neji had won a round of darts after pinning Tsuande's picture on the board. And Tsunade herself had injured a man in sleep whilst dreaming that she was killing Neji.

"Yes. They're all in the village, so you ain't going to have problems calling 'em in," Tsunade grunted. "Most of 'em are Jounin, but I've got a bunch of Chuunin there who I think'll bring good to the team – healers, and spirit-people and everything. You'll both be the captains, but don't let rivalry get in your way," Tsunade warned, giving them leeway to back out. "You both in this, right?" The two nodded. "Well, I better give you the list then. If there're any problems, you can contact me," she handed them the paper, filled to the brim with her illegible scrawl. "Meanwhile, I've got Jiraiya to slaughter, and a novel to burn!" she grinned, taking off.

"I knew it," Naruto slammed his teeth together, "what did Open Pervert do now?"

"Hey, Naruto," the Hyuuga grabbed him, pulling Naruto his way, "check the list out. It's crazy! She wants Yamanaka, Haruno, and Konohamaru in!"

~*~

Now Naruto had no problem with his team. Really. Well, except for Konohamaru and his groupies who would more than likely trail after him like a bunch of slugs. And Sakura, who would whine and whine because her hair was not properly cared for. And Ino, who would sleep until the sun went up, and down, then up again, and demand that the men clean up the tents daily so that cockroaches would not create more families. No, he had no problem at all. In fact, his team was great! There was Shikamaru, and Lee, and Neji, and him…and…him…and Lee…and Neji…and Shika—

"Damnit!" he yelled. His team was crap. What the hell was Tsunade thinking? Having a bunch of Chuunin on the team was dangerous. Having a gamut of untalented Chuunin was even more dangerous. They could have given him Chouji, or even Hinata – but Ino, Sakura, and Konohamaru? That was an absurdity he could not comprehend. If, for example, the three were rendered useless, there would only be four men left to complete the job. Four men to take down Big O, his bitch Sasuke, and their little underlings, were certainly not enough.

"We're dead men, Naruto," Neji muttered gravely. It seemed as though this time, his prophecy would come true. "Giving us people like them is probably going to inspire Orochi-chan instead of kill him."

"Do you wish to commit seppuku?" Naruto brought out his shuriken.

"Right now, yes," Neji answered, "after this mission is over and has failed – I will already be dead so seppuku will be impossible."

"Yeah," Naruto chuckled, "I suppose we should assemble our supposed team soon."

"See you tomorrow. 3 pm at Lee's."

"Does he know?"

"He will soon," Neji replied, "he will soon."

~*~

"Soon," Ino told Sakura, cradling the phone between her neck and ear. "Soon he'll come back to you. It's not like he's enjoying his time here."

"But -…" Now Sakura was her friend. Her best friend, one might say. But her daily outbursts and obsessions, which all dealt with Naruto and his current lack of 'fidelity', were certainly becoming obsolete and, frankly, annoying. She expected the pink-haired woman to cry over the boy for three days at the most. But for a week? And perhaps more? It was like hell multiplied twice, then squared and quadrupled. And people said she couldn't do math. Hah. That showed them.

"Look, Sakura, I have to go now. Someone's at the door," Ino informed her, turning off the phone before the other girl could say goodbye. It was true. Someone was knocking at the door – so it wasn't her fault that she had to hang up on Sakura.

"Come in!" Ino yelled, surprised to find Naruto storming into her room. "What the hell are you doing here?" she asked, more out of curiosity and surprise, rather than contempt.

"Mission. You," he explained, "in my team."

Ah, she thought, so that explains the sour expression on his face.

"What's the mission on?" she asked. And so he spilled the story to her. How Orochimaru had resurrected from the 'dead;' how Sasuke was his right-hand man; how Tsunade screwed over his supposed holiday.

"And then you have us, eh?" Ino asked, reading his mind, "Three useless ninja coupled together with you Jounin."

"I didn't mean it that way," Naruto insisted. But he did – and he supposed that it was useless to mask it over. Disappointment, it seemed, was just an emotion he could not cover. Pain was easy to mask. Happiness was easy to facilitate. But when his little friend, Disappointment, came, his acting skills were not honed well enough to cover it.

"Don't worry," Ino laughed, "we've improved quite a lot over the past few months. You haven't seen us fight since last year when you were judging the Jounin exams. We're not as naïve as we were before."

"But--…"

"No, we're not as good as you guys. We never will be," Ino poked him in the chest, "but you've just got to face that. Now, when is our meeting?"

"Three pm, Lee's," Naruto sighed, happy the ordeal was over with.

"Great!" Ino brightened.

"I really am sorry about --…" Naruto festered.

"Don't worry about it," the blonde grinned, ruffling his hair as she stood up, "so what do you want for dinner?"

"Dinner?" he asked, surprised at her sudden generosity.

"Yes, as in something to eat. A meal you take at night."

"Ramen!" Naruto answered excitedly.

"I knew it!" Ino laughed, "Two bowls of ramen coming up!"

And for once, in a very long time, Naruto felt that Sometime running up to him, telling him that maybe, just maybe, Life was not set out to murder him.

~*~

WR: Tee hee. This was a weird chapter to write. Anyway, something to clear up – the hole is still there because the landlord, who should have 'cleaned' it up, used his rentee's money for other purposes – I guess I didn't make that too clear in the last chapter (the thing with the electricity) ^_^;; Sorry about that!

Kibo: Moo.

Desolate: Hah. Naruto. You shall stay with me.

Naruto: Kyuubi!
Desolate: Aww. You're so cute.

Naruto: Go!

Desolate: (is scorched by Kyuubi's fire) Damn it.

Kibo: Moo.