Disclaimer: As well as the usual disclaimer, I must note that this is based on "Nowhere Man" by John Lennon and Paul McCartney – sung by the Beatles.

Mary-Sue


She's a real Mary-Sue
Hair of gold and eyes of blue
Making plans to take over the Fellowship

Speaks from shifting points of view
Doesn't know she's out of true
Isn't she annoying as can be?
Mary-Sue, I'm wishing
That you would only listen
Mary-Sue, the tale is not about you

She's as cute as she can be
Aragorn is on his knees
Mary-Sue, can you heal Frodo's wound?
Mary Sue, your flirting
May be awfully diverting
But in all, somebody else
Would be less bothersome
Ah, la, la, la, la

Speaks from shifting points of view
Doesn't know she's out of true
Isn't she annoying as can be?
Mary-Sue, I'm wishing
That you would only listen
Mary-Sue, the tale is not about you
Ah, la, la, la, la

She's a real Mary-Sue
Hair of gold and eyes of blue
Making plans to take over the Fellowship
Making plans to take over the Fellowship
Making plans to take over the Fellowship