Chapter 55

Northeastern France

Methos had begun to wonder if Eleanor would come to bed at all. Ever since that odd moment earlier... she'd found one reason and then another to spend time with Derrick... and away from him. Outwardly... she seemed the same... teasing... laughing... at ease... but he had sensed a wall arising between them once again.

He glanced up from regarding his outstretched feet on the bed when she entered their bedroom and quietly shut the door behind her. She crossed to the dresser and began brushing her hair. Methos rolled his eyes... He knew that was a sure sign she was upset. Slowly he rose to stand behind her... meeting the steady gaze of her reflection.

"Is he asleep?"

"He should be soon."

"That wasn't me... I would never hurt him!" He rested his hands lightly on her shoulders. Eleanor leaned against him and closed her eyes as though she were deep in thought. As yet, he could sense nothing from her. The wall was shutting her feelings off from him. She took a deep breath and met his gaze in the mirror.

Slowly she turned to face him. "I know that... but I also know what I felt... It was an undeniable hatred... jealousy... fear of loss." She turned back to the dresser and began once more to brush her hair..

Methos closed his eyes and dug deep within himself. He was jealous of the attention she gave Derrick... but did he fear to lose her? Would that fear, one day, turn to a killing rage? He let out a long breath. "I'm not the man I was, Eleanor... I will never be that man again. That man has been dead for three thousand years."

"I know that. But I also remember what you told me once... about teachers killing students, and students killing teachers, and about lovers killing one another. Is that what's in store for us one day?"

"He kissed the top of her head and wrapped his long arms about her small body pulling her close. "Never... You are a part of me now... You always will be. When I said those words... I was willing to let you go... now I'm not... I can't. Perhaps it was just a fear of losing you... that you were regretting your choice."

She rose her hands to his face... her fingers trailed lightly on the symbols still visible on his neck. An almost electric thrill went through him... he turned her once more to face him as he let the sensation move through him. "I chose you... Methos... even before I knew I'd made a choice... I chose you!" she whispered into his chest.

He let his own hands cup her face and turn it upward to meet his kiss. "And I chose you... long ago... and waited for you." They still had memories to explore... both theirs and the old ones... perhaps the answers were there. Even as he backed toward the bed... pulling her with him... he thought he could hear his cell phone ringing... but it seemed very far away... and not at all important. At least... nowhere nearly as important as finding the answers that lay buried within them.

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Within the Standing Stones, in the "before" time

D'jann fell to his knees within the stones and tried to calm his dis-ordered mind. He had felt so happy to be back. His wanderings had taken him to many places and he had visited with many of the people. In all places there were small ones... in all places the people had questions. At each location... he had gathered people who continued the journey with him.

Around the edge of the great world they had gone... letting ocean bear them to distant lands where water did not flow and into lands covered always with snow where night seemed to last forever. He and the rest visited each of the holy sites known to them... speaking with all the groups. "What do the small ones mean? Do our numbers grow for a reason? Perhaps someone at the next camp will know." And the seeking had gone on for more lives of the others than he had ever thought possible.

In his own heart and mind... his family and his group of people were far away... mere shadows of thought on the edge of his mind. Far more important was the seeking of the answers. The people needed to know what to do... what the future held for them... their purpose beyond guarding the holy sites and caring for the others... D'jann had been determined to find the answers.

At last their journeys had led them to the great circle where the first of the people had once been. Only one remained in that place, crowned with hair as blinding white in the sun as light itself... and a beard that hung long from his chin... below piercing blue eyes that reflected the wideness of the sky itself. Arrayed about the Ancient were the swords. To a member of each tribe he gave them. "They will usher in the new age," he had told them. And they had taken them... not knowing what it was they took... Almost immediately a voice had whispered to D'jann that with the sword, justice was possible... all he had to do was wield it. D'jann did not know if the others had heard the voice... he had never asked.

At night... dreams of leading his people into a new day filled his mind... and by day... visions of a bright future for them all. He had at long last journeyed home... and found nothing as he remembered it.

His people were no longer his people. They had moved on in their lives during his absence. About the camp were many he did not know... many he'd never known. The ones he did recall... they smiled at him and welcomed him home... but did not seem eager for his words... as if what he brought meant nothing.

Only Aja had truly welcomed him... First daughter had smiled with joy and kissed him... throwing her arms about him and bidding him to her home to share a meal. She had many questions... "Had he found the answers? Why did the small ones come? What was their future?"

With her was a small one he did not know. There were so many small ones in this place... How many lifetimes had he been gone? The others were strangers as well... and there were even more of them... and they did not know him at all! D'jann thanked Aja blessing the small one with a gentle touch to her dark head... but his thoughts had been of Ga'el and he had gone there... And it was there that he had seen them... They looked at him as if to say "Welcome!" But he had left... feeling no welcome for his return in that place. Now he sat here by the holy altar where he and Ga'el had once pledged unity and tried to sort through all the thoughts and feelings he was experiencing.

Ga'el entered the standing stones quietly and approached him. "You were gone from this place too long D'jann... I chose another. You must accept that choice."

"But we are one!" D'jann lashed out at her yet even as he said he knew it was not so... and had not been for ages.

"We still are... We will always be one... but Morannan is a part of my life as well. In your long absence... I have chosen him. He and I are not one as you and I were... but we are happy. All is as it must be. The people flourish... the lands are warm... The others are safe. Life continues."

Her calmness grated on his disquiet... and beneath it all... the voice of the sword whispered that he should take charge once more... He was the seeker... He had done what he was supposed to do... The people must listen to his words. He brought the future. She did not understand what she had done. She did not understand what he had done... for her... for them all.

Ga'el knelt beside him. "We are not as the others D'jann... We were fools to attempt that... We are the people... together the people are one. "

Behind her he sensed his friend Morannan... standing there... uncertain as to what he should do. Morannan... the judge... the mediator... always the one who settled disputes... the final voice in all disagreements. How was he to judge when he was involved?

What was there to say? What would change what was? D'jann shook his head and felt alone... as he had never felt alone. She was still a part of him... but she had withdrawn behind a wall that he could not breach. He had felt her go long ago... but in his blindness had never sought to know the reason. Instead... he had chosen to give her time and he had journeyed to the corners of the world saying nothing to her... simply leaving. Now home... he had thought she would open her heart to him once more... but she did not... at least not as he would have wanted it.

Whispering on the wind... the voice of his visions insisted he take her back... She was his! She was bound to him! He should take her! Only by reclaiming her could the future he dreamed of be possible for the people! D'jann reached for Ga'el.

Startled at his grasp... Ga'el struggled to move back... uncertain what it was that seemed to blaze within him. He crushed her to him and kissed her insistently... his hands ranging over her body... igniting the union as his fingers brushed the patterns that blazed hotly on her bare skin. Still she struggled in his embrace... attempting only to push him from her. Her struggles only strengthened his resolve to make her understand... they were one! They had always been one! They would always be one!

It was then that Morannan grabbed at him... attempting to loosen his grip from Ga'el! D'jann fell backward... his senses raging in anger at the interruption... the voice whispering urgently that he must reclaim her! He drew forth the sword... seeking to show that his was the just claim... long ago they had chosen one another. He still chose her... She was his!

Morannan stood between them... once more the judge... "Put it away D'jann... It is Ga'el's choice... It must always be Gae'l's choice. You cannot force her to choose you!"

In rage and anger, D'jann swung the sword and watched wordlessly as Morannan's head fell from his body. A great power erupted... the force of all his friend's being... crackled into the night... It surged out among the standing stones and rebounded back from them to surge out and in again and again. As though the world was de-lineated by the stones themselves... the power erupted into the sky and shook the earth beneath his feet in a convulsion of terror. The air was as breathing fire and there was no release.

D'jann threw wide his arms and screamed into the lightning as he was buffeted by both wind and rain and the tremors of the earth! He was one with the four elements of existence!

Falling to his knees in the aftermath... he heard only her sobs. She cradled Morannan's body and wept. Not in the many lives of the others had he ever heard her weep. Already he sensed the people approaching... curious as to what had happened. He reached for Ga'el...

She who was healer to the others saw that no healing existed for her. She saw only emptiness and a darkness that was deeper than all the despair that had ever been. She grasped the strange weapon... sword it whispered to her... and pulled it back to destroy him as he had destroyed her. But even as she saw the sadness of his eyes... she saw that in him lived all that remained of Morannan... her beloved lived in him... but her beloved was lost to her... In the despair of the moment... she wished only release... an end to the endless life... She turned the sword in her hands... and even as the people arrived... she managed to use it... on herself... Screaming Morannan's name on the wind... she fell lifeless... as her head rolled away from her falling body.

Once again the lightning erupted and prevented the people from entering the holy site. Once more the earth rolled and heaved in the convulsions of the power released. The clouds rolled in and the storm broke once more as wind and rain and fire combined to mirror the tortured earth. As the lightning faded... D'jann struggled to his feet and looked about in confusion and despair. She was gone... rather than remain with him she was gone! He grasped the great sword and blindly began swinging it about him... How dare they allow her to leave! They should have stopped her!

Again and again the lightning crackled and the world wrenched in horror. And somehow... D'jann knew it was much the same in all the holy places of the world.

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Her back was to him. He could hear her sobs. Softly... gently... Methos let his arms surround the shivering Eleanor pulling her once more toward him and whispering into her ear, "Don't cry... my love... I won't let it happen again... I'm not D'jann... even if Aja thought I might be. I'm not him... I'm not!"

In the darkness... he could still hear his cell phone ringing insistently.