Chapter 57

Northeastern France

Methos lay on his left side... his back to Eleanor. Behind him she shifted and moved. He wanted to turn to her... but this too was necessary. She needed to explore the patterns initially placed on his back as he had explored hers. He could feel her fingers trace lightly over them... as she held herself close to him.

In this way he was seeing her life... from the time she had left him... feeling that he had turned away from her... Methos saw through her eyes her wanderings and her long search to find somewhere to belong... Joy coursed through her in the Black Forest when they met once more... only to feel once more the walling off of his feelings. He'd sent her away... to Paris.

It was the memories of Paris that tore most at him. At long last he understood her fascination with Paris and with Darius. Yet even then... all Methos had ever had to do was beckon and she came. But nothing was ever resolved. He'd kept her at arm's distance... never certain he wanted more than just their friendship... and yet desiring her... if only for a little while before he'd move on. So she had remained... poised between the two of them... waiting... but neither one of them had ever been willing to cast off who and what they were... what they had become... Neither man was ever willing to fully commit. Like the chess games he and Darius had played for centuries... she was the queen they had both wanted... but neither had been willing to take the final step.

"There is a difference between love and desire," the old memories of Ga'el had once spoken to Aja and Havron. "Be certain what you feel is love... for desire fades... and when it does... if there is no love... then there is only emptiness."

Methos reached behind with one arm to stroke her leg. "I do love you... you know... You were a part of everyone I have ever loved... even before I ever met you... Aja told me you would be... Now when I recall all of them... I feel you there."

She sighed with a contented laugh. "Perhaps we had to go through everything so that we would finally come to understand and be certain. Desire... we always had that... But love? ... I was never certain."

"One more," he whispered. "The last one... and then our lives are ours once more... and the choices we make for the future will be made in the understanding of the past."

He felt her shift away... and then her back was to his... He shifted... as did she... until they were locked once more into another time and place.

**********

Within the Standing Stones, in the "before" time

The lightning died away. D'jann gazed about him in horror at the dead. In his rage and despair... lost in the need for justice... he had killed many of the people. They lay like broken cordwood as dead as the others. All his dreams and hopes for a future lay with them.

In his hands the sword seemed to glow red. "Justice!" it whispered. "They have paid for their crime... now you will rebuild the world."

D'jann dropped the blade to the earth and sank to his knees wailing. "My people are dead! How can I rebuild a world! What kind of world would it be without my love in it." Vaguely he was aware that Aja cautiously approached.

"My father... you must let this pass." Aja knelt beside him and wrapped her arms about him. But she was not Ga'el and only her touch could reach him... Still... there might be a way he could be healed... if he could but find her. D'jann grasped the hated blade once more and lifted it to first daughter.

"Take my head child... I cannot bear the guilt. I would find Ga'el and beg forgiveness... I would find Morannan and offer friendship. My life for theirs... I cannot exist without them. They were my left hand and my right... they were my heart and my soul... I am lost."

Behind her, Kritis and Havron also approached. In the distance... beyond the edge of the stones... D'jann sensed the remains of the people... and the small ones. Further off... the others confused and frightened... many huddling in their carrocks and hovels.

"All of you... be as one... take my head and together lead our people from this place. I have judged... now judge me! Justice must be served!"

He lifted the sword toward all of them, startled that they did not immediately seize it and deal with him. With his death the rift might be healed... the first ones were gone... the eldest of the people lay dead about him... only the firstborn remained... They must finish it!

"You cannot ask this!" Aja said.

"I will not!" Havron insisted and stepped back. "Death only begets more death... Yours will surely lead to more. You must bear the loss... you must bear the guilt... Only then with time can you be healed."

Kritis's chest heaved with his own pain. Sofaer... she whom he had come to love lay among the dead. She who was compassion had attempted to offer such to D'jann and had died for her efforts. For Kritis... there was only rage!

He seized the sword from D'jann's outstretched hands and raised it to give him the deathblow for which he waited.

Aja's hands restrained her brother. "We cannot do this!"

Kritis glared at her. "He asks for this. Alone I would be lost... Together... we three can end this nightmare here and now!" Within his hands the sword whispered of the justice of this. If the three of them joined together in that stroke... they would lead the people into the light. But the sword glowed an almost feral red in the setting sun.

"Please Aja," D'jann muttered. "I need for this to be done." He rose higher on his knees and bowed his outstretched head.

Aja's heart felt torn. She wanted D'jann to live... she wanted him to find comfort and peace. But what if there was no peace any longer for him with the people? Her hands closed on the hilt of the great sword alongside Kritis' hands. "Use me," it whispered. "I am the justice of the people. I am that which will lead the way." Aja hesitated... "Havron?" But her beloved had left the circle... unwilling to be party to this. Aja's eyes met Kritis'. Together they would do this... together they would mete out justice. Together... they swung the great sword across D'jann's neck and world exploded in fire about them. They reveled in the power... and as one... they moved beyond the standing stones to lead the way and offer death to those who would not follow.

***

Havron stumbled down to the shoreline and stared at the distant horizon. Behind him the screams of the dying filled the air... but he felt helpless. He could not be a part of this... Aja was lost to him now... as surely as if she were dead.

She and Kritis moved among the others... slaughtering them. They pulled them screaming from their hiding places and dispatched them with a sense of righteousness. The others were ridiculously easy to kill... one stroke and they died. The people would rise unless their heads were removed... and so they were. And the small ones... died twice. Once to be reborn... and then for all time.

Many ran... some of the people escaped into the wilderness... some of the others... a few of the small ones. They ran in terror with no understanding of the horror that had befallen them all. The world had become a killing field... and offered no respite to any of them.

Havron felt her come and turned to face she whom he still loved. But this was not the Aja he knew... This was a creature with blazing green eyes, who was covered in blood. He waited. He would not run... Behind her... Kritis also approached.

"Join us," she said and reached for him... kissing him so that he tasted the blood of the people. Havron held her only a moment... wishing that it were possible... then he pushed her away. A glint of light on the ring of gold he'd given her when they had finally performed the unity caught his eye. Kritis had made that for him... to show him what wonders were possible with a forge. Havron had given his treasure to Aja... in token of his commitment to her. Now he pulled it from her hand and placed it once more on his own.

The blaze in her eyes seemed to fade. "Beloved?" For a moment she was herself once more. He turned from her and slowly walked away.

Aja reached after him... confused. Her eyes fell on the headless form of the small one of their household... a child so small and so endearing that she had brought joy in her wake. Her eyes suddenly opened, Aja screamed at the enormity of what she had done and fell to her knees. "Forgive me?" she cried to Havron's departing form.

"Forgive yourself," he snapped at her... and left. He had thought she or Kritis would kill him as well... but they hadn't... Both of them seemed to have recovered and come to understand the madness of their actions. He left them to face their guilt. It would take many lifetimes of the others to do so. He would wait. One day she would come... one day he would forgive her... but not today. Today... he hardened his heart and wept for the end of all that had been.

**********

Aja had never told him that last part of the story. She'd said only that madness had taken her after killing D'jann. Methos shivered at the horror. Behind him he could hear Eleanor sobbing once more. He rolled onto his back and wrapped his arms about her... feeling her turn toward him once more...

He kissed her tears, "It's done... it's finished..."

"It will always be with us..."

"But it not all that we are. We are not them... we made other choices."

"Did we? We've both used that sword... we've both killed with it... far too easily."

"But we chose not to use it again." He brushed her dark hair away from her face. "We make our own choices Eleanor... We are not bound by what was. We only need to understand it so that we can keep it from happening again."

"But can we? Already the seeds of the past are planted once more... Derrick..."

"Is not Darius reborn... You told me that... remember? But if some remnant of him is there... we will deal with it when the time comes. I am not D'jann reborn. You are not Aja reborn. We just have some part of their memories within us. We are not them," Methos insisted. "We are not them."

He kissed her then... the ghosts of the past were silent... and she was only his wife... his heart... the other half of himself... warm and pliant in his arms... returning his kiss. He rolled onto her then... and without the distraction of the patterns... made love to her.