Ranma 1/2: A Deadly Choice

Chapter 2: Naresome No Shiatsu: The Massage of Newfound Love

It was, for the most part, a quiet evening in the Nerima District, the Ranma-oriented action in the market district notwithstanding. However, not far from that location, the quiet took on an eerie air in a very dark room. The only light source for the gaunt figure within was the strange brew simmering within the large black cauldron in the center of the room. The glowing brew partially illuminated the figure's pale, withered face, leaving the rest in ghostly shadow that gave him quite a haggard appearance as he hunkered over the cauldron, stirring the concoction with a wooden spoon.

He stopped stirring just long enough to let the surface of the mixture settle, reflecting his face like a mirror. He cackled softly at the sight. "It's beautiful..." he whispered to himself. "Finally, I have the means to achieve my greatest dream! My patience has paid off at last, and now, this..." He raised the spoon from the cauldron and let the thin liquid slosh around in the shallow bowl. "My greatest recipe yet!" He lifted the bowl to his face and tilted the brew into his mouth, rolling it on his tongue before swallowing it. He breathed deeply through his nose, letting the brew slide down his throat, warming his entire body as it went. Finally, when the sensation ended, he smacked his lips decisively. "Needs more salt."

As he groped on the kitchen counter for the salt shaker, the overhead fluorescent light flickered to life. "Oh, good," said Hikaru Gosunkugi. "The generator's back on. I was worried I wouldn't be able to read my new book tonight." He let his eyes fall on the brown paper-wrapped package on the counter and sighed happily. "The book that will forever change my life is finally here... and the perfect dinner to celebrate the occasion!" He casually turned the salt shaker over the soup, so engrossed in his fantasy that he failed to see the top fall off, spilling the entire shakerful into the cauldron. "Just imagine, a dream come true for only three thousand yen, plus shipping and handling. What a bargain!" He eagerly spooned up another sip of the broth, wrinkling his face at the taste. "A bit too much salt, that..."

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Ranma had spent the entire trip back to the Tendo Dojo deep in thought, but the events of the day were no clearer to her than they had been when she had first experienced them. "Okay," she said to herself, taking inventory once again. "First, Ryoga goes panty-snatching and lies about it to Akane, and she believes him over me - but that's nothing unusual. Then Shampoo tries to teach Akane how to be a better fiancée... and then I wake up in an alley, and since then, I've been acting weird myself!" She shook her head. "I'M not the one acting weird. Everyone else is just as weird as I am today." She snapped her fingers. "Maybe whatever happened to me also happened to Ryoga and Shampoo! But then they would have said something... or would they?"

She found herself at the gate. "Oh well. No sense trying to puzzle it out on an empty stomach. I hope Kasumi's cooking tonight. Knowing Akane, she might try to make me dinner as an apology or something..." She trotted up the walk and opened the front door, sniffing the air carefully. "That's Kasumi's cooking, all right," she decided. "The smell's not bad enough to make my eyes water."

The dining room door slid open, and Akane stepped out carrying a teakettle. "Welcome home, Ranma," she said coldly, handing over the kettle.

"Well, gee, what's with you?" asked Ranma, as she changed back to her male form.

"What do you think?" Akane shot back. "You were kissing Kodachi Kuno!"

"Well, she's the one who was doing the kissing! You know I have no interest in Kodachi! I was trying to get away from her the whole time!"

"Yeah, that's just what it looked like," retorted Akane. She opened her mouth to give Ranma a real piece of her mind... then froze. That HAD been what it looked like, hadn't it? She'd been pretty mad at the time, but looking back on the situation calmly, it had been Kodachi who initiated the kiss, and Ranma had been trying to escape. And yet Akane had spoken without thinking, and accused him of something that probably wasn't his fault... Was that what Ranma had been talking about in Ukyo's new restaurant? Never seeing his side of anything before starting fights?

Ranma waved his hand in front of her face. "You okay, Akane? This is the part where you yell at me and feel a lot better, remember?"

Akane stared at Ranma, stunned. He was totally serious! He actually thought yelling at him would make her feel better... and he was willing to take the abuse to get her out of her bad mood! The anger melted away, and Akane hung her head in shame. "Ranma, I'm sorry. I should have believed you before." There! A sincere apology, and she wasn't angry at all. Maybe this would patch things over with Ranma once and for all.

Ranma blinked in surprise. "Akane... you feeling okay? Don't tell me they got to you too."

"Who got to me?" asked Akane.

"Never mind," said Ranma. "So, what brought this on?"

"I've been thinking about what you said this afternoon..." she began, trying to arrange her thoughts before she spoke. "You said that I should try to see things from your point of view when I got angry instead of starting fights..."

"Yeah, that was pretty weird, wasn't it?" Ranma laughed aloud and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Imagine, you thinking things through instead of getting angry! Like THAT would ever happen!" He handed the teakettle back to Akane and doubled over with laughter. "That was a good one..."

Akane's jaw dropped. Here she was, trying to be polite, and Ranma thought it was a joke? His cruel laughter echoed in her ears until the anger she'd been suppressing abruptly burst all at once, and she slammed the teakettle onto Ranma's head. "You insensitive jerk! That's the last time I try to be nice to you!" Despite the ferocity of her outburst, Akane felt tears welling up in her eyes and quickly ran up the stairs to her room. Once she was wrapped in the privacy behind the closed door, she let herself cry freely.

"What did I do wrong this time?" she asked herself. "Every time I try to do something nice for Ranma, he twists it around and uses it to hurt me!"

"Maybe you're the one who reacts poorly to his kindness," countered a soft voice from the closet.

Akane quickly wiped her eyes dry. "Who's there?" she demanded.

"Don't be mad," replied the voice. "I thought this was the monorail station."

"Ryoga?" Akane opened the closet door to see the lost boy hiding behind the dresses. "What are you doing in there?" After a short pause, she added, "Wait, never mind."

"I'm sorry, Akane," said Ryoga. "I couldn't help hearing that you're having problems relating to Ranma."

"Do you know something about it?" Akane asked hopefully.

"I think it's a psychological problem," replied Ryoga. "I've heard that before Ranma and I showed up, the boys at Furinkan were always trying to bully you into going out with them."

"That's right," said Akane, brushing a stray droplet from her cheek.

"Well, perhaps that experience affected your emotions," diagnosed Ryoga. "Maybe, because all of your interactions with males were of a violent nature, that's the only way you know how to respond to Ranma's feelings for you."

Akane gasped. "No way! Do you really think that could be the problem?"

"It's a possibility," replied Ryoga. Actually, he'd made the entire story up with the help of some of those free pamphlets in the office of a friendly psychologist he'd stumbled across a few weeks before, but if it sounded plausible enough to Akane, who cared whether or not it was true?

Akane sat heavily on her bed. "What can I do, Ryoga? I want so badly to tell Ranma how I feel, but every time I get close to him... it's like I'm a completely different person! A person who can't stand to be around him..."

She drew in a sharp breath as Ryoga sat on the bed next to her and put his arm behind her back, resting his hand on her shoulder. "You need to loosen up, Akane. Think about something else for a while. Take a load off and relax."

"I -" She reached up and lifted his hand away. "I don't think I can just forget about it."

"I understand," Ryoga said considerately, turning his head away. "Then perhaps I can assist you."

"What do you mean?" asked Akane.

Ryoga flexed his fingers. "I happen to know a very relaxing form of massage therapy that I learned from an old master who used to live in the mountains. It'll help you get rid of some of your stress."

"Massage therapy...?" Akane looked down at her clothes. "But I'm wearing a dress!"

"A dress?" repeated Ryoga. "Why is that - oh, right. You need to take your shirt off for the massage..." He hastily stood up and walked to the door. "I'll step outside. Let me know when you're ready."

"Ryoga, wait!" called Akane. "I'm not... I mean, I don't really..."

"What's wrong, Akane?" Ryoga asked, while Akane was still hesitant to decline. "There's no reason to be ashamed. It'll be just like a massage parlor, except I won't charge you."

"I'm not embarrassed," said Akane. "It's just that... you and me, alone in the room..."

"You don't trust me," Ryoga said, making it sound more like a question.

"No, no!" Akane protested. "That's not it either!"

"Then... I don't understand." Ryoga forced a tear to his eye. "I want to do everything I can to help you feel better," he said, staring her in the eye. If there was one technique that never failed to win Akane over, it was appealing to her sympathy.

"Well, I appreciate the thought..." Akane began.

"I just want you to relax, and you can't do that when you're so tense," Ryoga interrupted, going for the strong finish. "I always find that a massage helps me wind down after a difficult ordeal, don't you?" He placed his hand on Akane's shoulder and rubbed gently, stimulating the key pressure points that Happosai had shown him.

Akane raised her hand to push Ryoga's encroaching hand away, but the sensations in her shoulder were so warm and wonderful, instantly alleviating pains she hadn't even been aware of. She sighed euphorically. "That does feel good," she admitted. "I think you're right. A massage will help me relax."

"I'm glad I can help," said Ryoga, much relieved. "I'll just leave the room so you can strip down."

"Don't go anywhere," warned Akane. "Keep your hand on the door, got it?"

Ryoga nodded. "Don't worry. I don't plan to get lost right outside your bedroom door." He stepped out of the room and waited while Akane removed her dress. Even though he was unable to see, Ryoga felt the blood rushing to his nose and quickly clamped down on his thoughts. Just being in the same room as an unclothed girl whom he loved didn't make him a pervert...

"Okay, I'm ready," called Akane from within the bedroom. Ryoga slid the door open and stepped back into the room. Akane lay on her stomach on the bed with her eyes closed, her lower half covered with the blanket. Her dress and brassiere were on the floor beside the bed, leaving her torso completely bare.

Ryoga wiped the spot of blood from his upper lip, cracked his knuckles, then climbed onto the bed and straddled Akane's waist. "Just relax and breathe slowly," he advised her as he set to work. He began with a light, simple massage, working Akane's tense muscles with his fingertips and knuckles, trying not to pay too much attention to the feel of her naked flesh. Once she was relaxed enough, it would be time. Time for Happosai's special technique... the Naresome no Shiatsu.

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A loud metallic clang resounded through the kitchen, distracting Kasumi from her cooking. She turned around to see a figure stumbling across the room with an inverted teakettle covering its head. As it took a step forward, the teakettle smacked into a wall, producing a clang identical to the first.

Kasumi sighed. "Oh, Ranma... whatever shall we do with you?" She put her utensils down and grabbed the teakettle in both hands. "How does she manage to make your entire head fit into the tiny opening on top of the kettle?"

"Lots of force," replied Ranma. "Strength only a tomboy could possess."

"She must have been very upset to manage it," observed Kasumi.

"As usual, Kasumi, you are the master of the understatement."

"You seem somewhat bitter," said Kasumi, concerned.

"I have a teakettle on my head. Of course I'm bitter!" Ranma lent his own strength to the effort to dislodge the teakettle, quickly removing it with a great deal of velocity. Both he and Kasumi flew to opposite ends of the kitchen from the force. Kasumi despondently set the misshapen kettle on the counter, shaking her head at it sadly.

"This erratic relationship simply isn't healthy for our cookware," she told Ranma. "The manufacturers have added a new clause to their warranties, voiding them if the object being covered comes within a hundred yards of this house."

Ranma wrung the last of the water from his pigtail. "Yeah, so? What do you want me to do about it? Impress them with my power of attorney?"

"Why don't you try being nicer to Akane?" suggested Kasumi.

"That jerk doesn't deserve 'nice'," said Ranma. "Every time I try to be nice to her, she turns it right around and throws it back in my face."

"Have you tried apologizing to her?" asked Kasumi.

Ranma snorted. "Yeah, just this afternoon. She thought I was sick." He shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe I am."

"When I saw her this afternoon, she seemed very concerned for you," Kasumi informed him. "She was worried because of something that happened to you earlier today."

"Her? Worried about me?" Ranma tossed his pigtail defiantly. "Nothin' doin'. If she's so concerned, why don't she tell me herself?"

"Because," said Nabiki from the kitchen doorway, "she's afraid of the rumors."

Ranma turned to face Nabiki, who ignored him in favor of the ice cream cone she was licking. "When did you get here?"

"Been here long enough to know what's going on," replied Nabiki, the words coming out perfectly clearly even as she continued licking.

"Oh dear," said Kasumi, picking up on Nabiki's true intent. "What sort of rumors?"

"Well," replied Nabiki, "there've been plenty of times when Akane beat up a boy and carried him to Doctor Tofu's to get treated. And every time, the kids at school would start a rumor that the two of them had done a lot more on their little excursion than just going to the doctor's."

"Then the students at Furinkan think Akane is a -"

Nabiki finally set the cone aside. "No, Kasumi. Most of them don't believe the rumors, most of the time. But with Ranma, there's at least some truth to the rumored relationship."

"Says who?" asked Ranma darkly.

"Well, you ARE engaged," Nabiki pointed out. "Of course, I'm pretty sure the rumor that Akane is two months pregnant with your child isn't ENTIRELY true..."

"WHAT WAS THAT?" shouted Ranma, nearly strangling Nabiki in rage.

She lightly pushed him away. "It's not as bad as the rumor that she's already had your child, and you sent it to an orphanage in Yokohama to keep it a secret." Nabiki took another lick of her ice cream. "I don't think anyone really believes that one, though," she speculated.

"Then what you're saying," observed Kasumi, "is that Akane's subconsciously afraid that if she starts to show genuine concern over Ranma, the rumors will become even worse!"

"Bingo," said Nabiki, returning her full concentration to her melting dessert.

"And since when have you cared about that?" asked Ranma.

"Rumors are bad for business," replied Nabiki. "The more people think they know the truth, the less they're willing to pay for it."

"Shoulda known it was all about money," said Ranma.

Kasumi put her hand on Ranma's shoulder. "Ranma, Akane is very upset right now, regardless of the rumors. Don't you think you should have a talk with her?"

"A talk?" Ranma asked skeptically. "I don't care how she's feeling; nothing I could say or do is gonna make her any less mad at me."

"Perhaps she does blame you," agreed Kasumi. "But a sincere apology would help to clear the air between you, don't you think?"

Nabiki nibbled at the cone. "I'd give it odds of fifty to one against."

Kasumi sighed. "Why don't you stay downstairs for a while and organize your thoughts?"

"Sure," Ranma conceded. "What have I got to lose?"

*************************************************

Ryoga continued to knead the sinews in Akane's back, feeling the muscles loosen beneath his fingertips as he worked. Akane's breathing grew slower and deeper as the calming massage took effect. "Oh, this is so good," she murmured. "It feels incredible."

"The best part is yet to come," Ryoga assured her. However, there was a precaution to take first. Continuing to rub Akane's neck with one hand, he deftly untied his bandana and secured it under his nose. What he was about to do would surely result in a nosebleed...

"You know, Ryoga," Akane mused as the rubdown continued, "there's something... different about you tonight."

Ryoga briefly paused in his work. "Hmm? How so?"

Akane breathed deeply and sighed. "Oh, I don't know. You're... like a whole different person tonight. A lot more confident, for one thing."

"It's probably just your nerves," Ryoga assured her. "When you're tense, things seem different."

"Oh," Akane parroted immediately. Actually, something about that statement seemed fishy to Akane. In fact, something was wrong with this whole situation. If only she could figure it out... but the massage felt so good that she couldn't bring herself to think about such stressful details. She slipped even further into the relaxing shiatsu-induced delirium and forgot all about her unease.

"That was a close one," Ryoga whispered, wiping sweat from his now bare forehead. Certain that the bandana was properly placed to soak up the impending flow, he returned both hands to Akane's shoulders, patting down her back. "How's that?" he asked. "Should I go a little lower?"

"Yes please," said Akane. "I really appreciate this, Ryoga."

"Sure, no problem." Ryoga let his hands travel down to her armpits, then to her sides, lightly rubbing her skin in small circles. "Just let me know when I hit the spot."

"You're going the wrong way," said Akane, pushing herself up from the pillow. "Don't tell me you're getting lost on -"

"Now's my chance!" whispered Ryoga. His fingers descended to Akane's now-exposed chest and poked into her ribcage just below the breasts.

Akane grunted. "Ryoga, that hurt!"

Ryoga leapt backwards, landing on the foot of the bed. "What? It was supposed to -"

Akane turned completely around, raising a fist to punch Ryoga. "What were you trying to do to -" Suddenly, her eyelids drooped, and she slumped forward in a daze.

Ryoga quickly caught her and held her up. "Akane! Are you okay? What's wrong?"

Akane lurched to life in his arms, her breathing fast and furious. She arched her back and threw her head back, emitting a quiet moan that reminded Ryoga of the few nights at home that his parents had both managed to find the bedroom. Ryoga found himself staring at her erect breasts and quickly turned his head away, feeling the first trickle of blood seeping into the bandana at his nose. He let go of Akane, but she leaned forward and threw her arms around him, squeezing with all of her might. Ryoga could feel her naked breasts pressing against his shirt, her heart beating so quickly that he began to worry that she was having a heart attack. Yet she was still breathing, fast and deep, like...

Her palms pressed against his ears, and she forcefully yet gently turned his head to face her. He opened his eyes in time to see the lustful look in her eyes before she pressed her soft lips to his in a passionate kiss. Then, one hand grabbed the back of his head, holding him in the kiss, while the other crept down his back, pulling upward on the fabric of his shirt as if trying to remove it. Ryoga's nose gushed blood, quickly saturating the bandana and dripping onto Akane's face.

'This is not good!' he thought to himself, fighting to remain conscious. 'This isn't what was supposed to happen!' He waved his arms frantically, but couldn't even try to free himself without risking hurting Akane. 'What am I going to do?' Then, it hit him. The release point! Happosai hadn't been sure exactly where it was, since he'd never bothered to use it; but he'd given Ryoga enough of an idea that, if he could get his hands into the right place, he should be able to break the mind controlling power of the Naresome no Shiatsu.

Unfortunately, getting to that spot might prove to be a problem...

*************************************************

Ranma clenched his fists, took a deep breath, pushed the door open, stepped into the room, and bowed his head. "Akane... I'm really sorry. I never thought about how tough I've made your life. I understand now that you're tough on me sometimes because you're concerned about me, and... I'm concerned about you too. I don't want you to get hurt, not just physically, but emotionally as well. But I don't want to alienate you either. So, just remember that, whatever happens, you're the one I - I always care about you, Akane. And no matter what I say or do, like calling you names and stuff... I don't mean none of it! I just... can't bring myself to say... that I... I..." He looked up to see his audience's reaction.

Kasumi applauded. "Bravo, Ranma! What a beautiful speech!"

"What do you know?" said Nabiki, somewhat impressed. "Maybe he poured it on a little thick at the end, but it just might be enough to get Akane out of her funk."

Ranma sighed. "When it's just practice, it's one thing. But when I actually try it on Akane..."

"Don't worry so much!" advised Kasumi. "I'm sure you'll do fine."

"You only rehearsed it thirty times," added Nabiki. "Even YOU can't screw up too badly with all of that practice." She paused to reconsider her last statement. "Why don't you think of it as Martial Arts Talk-Fu or something?"

"Martial Arts Talk-Fu?" repeated Ranma. "It's brilliant! Why didn't I ever think of it before?"

"I can't imagine," Nabiki replied flatly.

Ranma ignored her in his celebration. "If it's Martial Arts... I can do anything! Even... even apologize to Akane!"

"Whoo," said Nabiki with little enthusiasm. "You go, Martial Boy."

Ranma triumphantly stalked out of the kitchen and ran up the stairs to Akane's room. He threw the door open jubilantly. "Akane, I've got something to -" He froze as he saw what was going on in the room. Akane, naked except for a pair of panties, and Ryoga, his usual outfit complete with a bloody bandana tied under his nose, were sharing a passionate kiss on top of her bed. Ranma made a sick face, unwilling to look any closer but unable to stop himself. Yep, she was slipping him the tongue. And Ryoga's fingers were groping at her tiny breasts in a perverted frenzy, eagerly poking at every erogenous inch, while she tried to remove his shirt without breaking the kiss.

Ranma stormed into the room and grabbed Ryoga by the shoulders, resisting the urge to beat him to death where he sat. "What's the matter, Ryoga?" he asked sarcastically. "Her panties weren't enough for you?" He pulled Ryoga off of the bed and out of Akane's arms. As soon as Akane's grip was broken, she began to whine like a dog separated from its master. "Akane, what's wrong?" asked Ranma.

In response, Akane leapt off of the bed and bodily tore Ranma off of Ryoga, then proceeded to grab Ryoga in a bear hug once again, kissing him like there was no tomorrow. She wrapped her bare legs around his waist and clawed at the bottom of his shirt, tugging it out of his belt. Ryoga let out a single startled gasp before his hands darted right back to her chest and continued prodding away.

Ranma planted his elbow in the back of Ryoga's head. "Get your mitts off her, pig-boy!" he shouted.

Ryoga tore his face away from Akane's just long enough to blurt out "What do you think I'm trying to do?" before she pulled him back in.

"That does it!" shouted Ranma, putting his hands on Ryoga and Akane's foreheads to force them apart. Akane kicked him, sending him through the roof and into the Nerima sky.

Seizing the opportunity while Akane was distracted, Ryoga pushed Akane away from his body and jabbed his fingers into her cleavage in a last desperate attempt to find the release point for the Naresome no Shiatsu.

This time, it worked. As his finger poked into her chest, Akane gasped, heaving air in halting breaths as her heartbeat slowed to normal. Her arms drew even tighter around Ryoga's torso as she shivered in the sudden cold of her nakedness. Ryoga froze in shock, afraid to do anything for fear of upsetting Akane, but even more afraid to wait for her to figure out what was happening.

It seemed like hours before Akane could work up the nerve to look up and see who her arms were wrapped around. When her eyes met Ryoga's, she screamed and quickly thrust her palm into his chest, throwing him to the far end of the room. She covered her chest with her arms and backed away until her back hit the wall, drawing in breath for another scream.

Ryoga covered his face with his arms. "Please, stop screaming!" he begged. "I can explain!"

Akane's jaw worked up and down as she tried to form a question. "Wh... wha... what..."

"I, um... I..." Ryoga stammered. "Well, actually..." He uncovered his face, only to find himself staring at Akane again. He felt a fresh trickle of blood dripping into the bandana, but was too shocked to turn his eyes away. Akane leapt across the room and smacked him in the face, then quickly grabbed the blanket from her bed and wrapped it around herself.

"You were staring at me, you pervert!" accused Akane.

Ryoga rubbed the back of his head bashfully. "I should probably go," he said. He slid the door open and stepped through while Akane glared at him. As soon as he had shut it behind himself, he slid it open again. "This is the closet," he announced unnecessarily.

"Ryoga, what happened to me?" Akane finally asked, now that her brief loss of temper had driven the shock from her system. "The last thing I can remember is you giving me a massage. What happened after that?"

Ryoga's heart leapt into his throat. "You don't... remember anything... after that?"

Akane shook her head, her expression softening. "No. You were rubbing my shoulders, and then... we were on the floor, and you were holding me." She shuddered involuntarily.

"Well, I..." he stammered again. How could he explain his way out of this one? If Akane didn't remember, he could make up any excuse he wanted! So why the hell couldn't he think of anything?

"Ryoga..." Akane's voice took on a pleading tone. "Do you know what happened?"

Ryoga's mouth opened and closed several times before any words came out. When they did, they were as much a surprise to Ryoga as they were to Akane. "No... I, uh, don't remember a thing either!"

"Oh." Akane deflated. "Then I guess there's no way to know."

"Yeah, what a shame," said Ryoga, although the tone in his voice would have worked better with the sentence that was on his mind: "I'm glad THAT'S over with!"

"It's just like what happened to Ranma..." Akane mused. "First Ranma, and now us... everyone's memories are being erased! But why...?"

Ryoga's entire body tensed up. Ranma! He'd seen what had happened... who knew what he was thinking?! By now, he was probably already planning Ryoga's demise... "Um, Akane, I think I should go see what I can find out about these strange events," Ryoga said nervously.

Akane nodded, too distracted by her thoughts to pay much attention to Ryoga. "That's a good idea, Ryoga. And if you see Ranma... don't tell him what happened. It'll just make him worry."

"Of course not," Ryoga assured her, although 'worry' was hardly the word for how the truth would affect Ranma. "I won't breathe a word of this to him." He gracefully bowed and swept out the door, shutting it behind himself.

"You're in the closet again," Akane informed him.

"I knew that," replied Ryoga, making his way to the correct door and letting himself out.

Once he was gone, Akane dressed herself and went to close the closet, but a strange book on the closet floor caught her eye. "What's this book doing here?" she asked, picking it up. "Did Ryoga leave it here? Or maybe... it has something to do with what just happened to us?"

She read the book's title, then turned it over to read the back cover, scratching her head. "'Change your life for the better today. Get everything you ever dreamed of, and more, or your money back?' This must be Ryoga's. I don't think it would explain why we lost our memories, anyway. But why would Ryoga be reading this?" Suddenly curious, she sat down at her desk, opened to a random page, and began to read the strange book with interest. If it did even half of what it claimed to do, it certainly was a life-changing book.

*************************************************

"Aah, that was good," said Hikaru Gosunkugi, patting his stomach contentedly. "Success always seems to make me hungry." He turned to the package on the counter. "And speaking of success..." He grabbed the package and tore the wrapping off eagerly, allowing him to finally gaze upon the cover of his new book. And even better, the untold treasures within...

Well, they would be untold no longer! Hikaru cracked open the volume and scanned down the table of contents for the chapter that would teach him everything he needed to know. This plan... This plan would work. It was GUARANTEED to work. And if one thing could be said for Hikaru Gosunkugi's luck, it was that he had never in his life been able to claim a money-back guarantee.

*************************************************

"Well, that could have gone better," mumbled Ranma as he sat on a bench in the park, nursing the bump on his head with an ice pack. "I can't believe that jerk Ryoga and that idiot Akane would do something like that... right in front of me! And they didn't even have the common decency to be ashamed!" He pounded the bench with his fist. "I don't get it. One second, she's apologizing to me, and then she's up in her room making out with Ryoga! What could she see in that guy, anyway?"

He pictured the scene again, cringing as he did so. Anger filled him at the mere thought of Ryoga groping at Akane's breasts, and Akane getting a good taste of the inside of Ryoga's mouth... and yet, somehow, it wasn't worth wasting the energy to be angry at them. Instead, Ranma found himself wanting to think this situation through and figure out why Akane would go behind his back like that.

Come to think of it, that was a pretty good question. Even though she was always losing her temper with him, he was pretty sure that she wanted a better relationship with him... so why would she make out with Ryoga? It just didn't add up. She couldn't have given up on Ranma completely... she wasn't the type of girl who would give up anything that she wanted, especially not over something as trivial as a couple of casual insults. So her little tryst with Ryoga was probably not serious. Ranma caught himself sighing with relief and quickly stopped himself. He hadn't figured it out yet...

Okay, so she wasn't serious about Ryoga. So what? What reason could she have for getting so intimate with someone if she didn't have any feelings for him - particularly a level of intimacy that she'd never had with Ranma? He was just barely missing the connection... In a few more seconds, he was ready to bash himself on the head for his idiocy. She was doing it to make him jealous, obviously! She wanted a relationship, but Ranma was reluctant, so she was trying to bring out his desires by acting them out with Ranma's greatest rival. Now it all made sense!

"Uncute tomboy," Ranma said aloud. "Like I'M going to get jealous over HER. More like SHE'S jealous over ME. At least the other girls who want to marry me are cute. Who's chasing after her? Kuno, Ryoga, Gosunkugi..." He spat. "What a bunch of losers. I don't have anything to be jealous about. Akane should be BEGGING me to marry her."

Then, was that the reason for...? Was it Akane's way of asking Ranma to be more forward? Maybe she was just too proud to admit that she was scared - scared that Ranma would choose another girl over her. He chuckled. What a ridiculous idea! No way Akane was feminine enough to be THAT sneaky!

Which meant... what? That she really was in love with Ryoga? That Ranma had insulted her one time too many, and lost her for good? Come to think of it, she had been a great deal more serious that evening than he had ever seen her... and he'd treated it as a joke! He laid his head in his hands and groaned. Had he really pushed her too far? Was there nothing he could do?

"NO!" he shouted as he leapt to his feet. "I don't care what it takes... I'll find a way to fix everything!" His stomach rumbled, reminding him that he hadn't had a chance to eat all day, but he ignored it. The setting sun cast its fading light on his back, the long shadows reminding him of the times he had walked through this very park with Akane. He wasn't going to let her go. She was HIS fiancée! He wasn't going to lose her to Ryoga!

Ranma clenched his fists as he walked. "You'd better get ready, pig-boy!" he declared to the unheeding heavens. "The next time I see you... you're going to wish you'd never messed with my fiancée!"

*************************************************

Deep in thought, Ryoga wandered, not even caring where he ended up. It didn't matter, now. He could never go back to the Tendo Dojo again. Not after he'd taken advantage of Akane that way, and then lied about it! How could he face her, knowing what he'd done? How could he look at the girl he loved without being reminded of his secret shame? Worse, what would happen if Akane ever found out the truth?

The truth... Ryoga wasn't sure he knew the truth himself. What had gone wrong with the technique? Happosai had assured him that it was a foolproof way to get Akane to fall in love with him! That was what the name meant - Naresome no Shiatsu: The Massage of Newfound Love.

No... wait. Those hadn't been Happosai's words. He'd said that it would bring Ryoga the love of any woman he desired. Well, THAT put a new spin on things. In retrospect, it was painfully obvious. Happosai's definition of love was as perverted as the man himself! The Naresome no Shiatsu had nothing to do with romance... it was just a technique that made girls horny. No wonder Akane hadn't been able to keep her hands off of him!

Well, that was a lesson learned. He'd never trust Happosai again. But there was a bigger problem left to deal with: explaining the situation to Ranma. They'd had a healthy rivalry going ever since they'd met, but this time, Ryoga had a feeling he'd overstepped the bounds of common competition. Akane had been a sort of tacit goal of their rivalry since it had moved to Nerima, but she'd never been an active part of it. Ranma was probably looking for him at that very moment, ready to wring Ryoga's neck on sight for desecrating his fiancée. Not that Ryoga was afraid, of course. He was ready to accept his punishment like a man and take responsibility for his mistakes.

Wait... no, he wasn't! That wasn't how Ryoga Hibiki dealt with his problems! It sounded more like something out of that book... The book! He thrust a fist into his mouth to keep from screaming. He'd left it in Akane's room! If she found that book... Well, no chance of finding his way back there in time. His only hope now was that she didn't put the facts together and realize that Ryoga wasn't quite as innocent as he seemed. Then again, this was the girl who still hadn't figured out that he and P-chan were one and the same, despite the abundance of blatant clues. And there wasn't anything particularly incriminating in the book, anyway. Akane would never guess that he had anything to do with what had happened during her memory loss.

That still left the problem of how to deal with Ranma, however. Somehow, it didn't feel right to fight him over something that wasn't his fault. But Ranma would want to fight, of course, and Ryoga couldn't back down from a challenge. To fight or not to fight, that was the question...

Ryoga didn't have time to ponder the answer. He looked up to find himself in a familiar park that even he couldn't help but recognize. And through the comic graces of whatever gods were looking for amusement on this otherwise peaceful winter evening, Ranma was just coming down the path now, on an intercept course with Ryoga. He hadn't seen the lost boy yet, but any second, their eyes would meet, and when they did, Ryoga would know exactly what Ranma had planned for him.

Ranma looked up and saw Ryoga, and Ryoga screamed and leapt behind a bush. Those eyes... Ryoga had never seen an expression like that before, no matter how angry Ranma had been! There had been something there, a glimmer of some emotion, so terrifying that Ryoga just couldn't face it.

"Hey, Ryoga," Ranma called out emotionlessly. Far from being the threat that Ryoga had expected, this was merely a greeting, a bit cold, but not vengeful in the least. Startled, Ryoga peered over the top of the bush. Ranma looked much calmer now, as if just seeing that Ryoga was afraid of him had mollified him somehow. But Ryoga wasn't fooled for a second. He knew it was just a trick to lure him out.

Still, what good would it do him to hide from his problems? Better to come right out and face Ranma like a man and pay the price for what he'd done. He stood up and stepped out from behind the bush. "Ranma, I know you're mad at me," he began. "I could try to explain what I did, but in the end, it's my fault just the same." He bowed his head. "So I won't fight you. Do whatever you want to me." He braced himself for the pounding of his life.

Ranma stared at Ryoga for a few minutes as if trying to fathom his purpose. "Nah," he finally said defeatedly. "It ain't worth it."

"What?" Ryoga looked into Ranma's eyes, expecting a surprise attack now that he was off guard. But Ranma appeared to be totally serious. Ryoga grabbed him by the collar. "Who are you, and what have you done with the real Ranma?"

Ranma merely shook his head. "I don't know what's stopping me from beating you up either. Normally, I'd have torn one of your legs off and beaten you to death with it for what you did to Akane. But for some reason, I feel like violence isn't going to solve anything anymore. Fighting just hurts people."

Ryoga released his grip, mulling over Ranma's words. They sounded familiar, somehow... but Ryoga had better things to do than wonder why Ranma sounded like a therapist. He had an overwhelming burden of guilt to absolve. "What do you mean, it's not worth it?" he demanded angrily. "If Akane was MY fiancée and I caught you having your way with her, I'd be pounding you senseless!"

Ranma just shrugged. "What would that accomplish? It happened; it's over. Akane'd probably be even more pissed at me if I beat you up anyway."

Well, there was that... but... "What kind of man are you, anyway?" Ryoga asked pointedly. "You should be defending your fiancée's honor!"

Ranma shrugged again. "If you insist." He grabbed Ryoga by the collar and lifted him off of his feet.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Ryoga protested.

"Anyone who would take advantage of Akane like that is no man," said Ranma. "Someone like that... is more of a pig!" With that, he hurled Ryoga over his shoulder, right into the park's ornamental fountain. Ryoga landed with a splash and bobbed to the surface, fighting his way out of his clothes and squealing indignantly.

Ranma fished Ryoga out of the fountain. "Like I said, it wouldn't do me any good to beat you up. But at least this way, you'll be wandering around for so long trying to find home again that I'll have time to make things up with Akane."

Ryoga oinked bitterly.

"Of course, you did offer an explanation of just HOW you got Akane so excited over you..." Ranma mused aloud. "But you can't exactly talk when you're a pig..."

Ryoga nodded and oinked eagerly. Ranma was going to make him human again!

Instead, however, Ranma placed him on the ground and dropped a pen and a sheet of paper next to him. "Here you go, Mr. P.," said Ranma. "You can write your explanation."

Ryoga grabbed the pen unsteadily in his teeth, then leapt up and swatted Ranma on the head with it. "Bwee bwee bwee!" he oinked angrily.

Ranma rubbed his head. "Huh. Can't write either, can you? Oh well." He picked Ryoga up and tucked him under an arm. "Guess we'd better get you some hot water."

Ryoga settled into Ranma's arm and let himself be carried out of the park, wondering a bit about Ranma's odd behavior. He was definitely not his usual short-tempered self, that was for sure. But what could it mean? More importantly, how could Ryoga take advantage of it? Could this change in Ranma be the ticket to Akane's heart? And if so, was it Ranma's or Ryoga's ticket? One thing was certain, however. He was going to have to choose his next source of dating advice a little more carefully.

*************************************************

Kodachi stormed into her bedroom angrily, nearly forgetting in her temper to duck as a boom swung down from the ceiling through the space where her head had been. Once safely inside, she breathed deeply of the aroma of the black roses that covered her walls and ceiling like wallpaper. The sweet perfume helped to calm her nerves after her harrowing evening. Her search had turned up no trace of Ranma, and the pigtailed harridan was also nowhere to be found. An entire evening of searching the city, wasted...

She glared angrily at the book lying open on her desk. "You've been no help at all," she said to it as she seated herself in front of her vanity. She frowned at the image of her sole-marked face in the mirror. "Change my life for the better?" she continued sarcastically. "I think not. I'll be sure to reclaim the purchase price through the advertised money-back guarantee." She plucked a rose from the wall with a slight air of frustration, pulled off a few petals, and dropped them into a mortar. "All I wanted was my Ranma darling! Yet even with the aid of the advice in that book, he still rejects me!" She snatched up the pestle and angrily ground the petals into paste. "How dare he disgrace the face of the Black Rose with his heel!" She scooped the paste out of the bowl with a soft cloth and applied it to her face, instantly masking the red footprint. "I will win his heart yet! All I need is a new approach..."

The petals of the roses on the walls rustled abruptly, startling Kodachi. "Just a breeze," she said once she had regained her breath. "Obviously, my brother needs to be taught a lesson about entering my room and leaving the window open." She stood up in a huff, directing her recently-subsided anger at her intrusive brother as she crossed the room to close the window. She pulled the curtain aside and reached up to close the sash... only to find it already closed. "That's odd," she said, turning around to verify that the roses were no longer being touched by the mysterious breeze. SHE certainly hadn't felt a draft. "It must have been my imagination," she decided. "The day's hectic pace has taken its toll on my poor nerves."

So reassured, Kodachi sat once again and studied herself in the mirror. "What is not to love about this beautiful face?" she asked herself. "It is obvious that Ranma does not find me a suitable fiancée, but what, in his esteem, do I lack?" She hummed thoughtfully, frowning at her ponytail. "Perhaps he has grown weary of this antiquated coiffure. After all, he himself sports a pigtail. But what new style would appeal to him?"

Her eyes lit on the pair of rose-adorned hair clips on the vanity stand, and she smiled. "Ah, yes. Those will do nicely." She pulled the hair from the left side of her head into a ponytail, securing it with one of the clips, then did the same on the right side. "There. This childish style perfectly complements my youthful face."

She turned her head to examine herself on one side, then the other. "Hmmm... it is lovely, but I don't think it would appeal to Ranma. He would be more attracted to an older woman." She removed the clips, shaking her head to let her hair fall back naturally. "Let's see... what style is popular among adults?" She wound her hair into a bun and used a long hairpin to secure it. "There. This should add just the right amount of maturity and womanly grace to my appearance." She paused to admire her reflection again. "I must say; like a fine wine, I certainly age well."

Once again, the rose petals rustled in a nonexistent wind, falling silent as Kodachi turned to investigate. Her trained eye spotted nothing out of the ordinary in the room. She licked a finger and held it aloft, feeling the air for signs of a breeze. However, the air was perfectly still. "What a strange phenomenon," said Kodachi, turning back to the mirror. What she saw drew her breath out in a single gasp. The roses on the opposite wall were bulging outwards, stretching across the room toward her. Kodachi rubbed her eyes and turned around, staring in disbelief at the floral projection as the flowers from the other three walls and ceiling shifted to join the main mass at the back of the room. The bulge grew and stretched with the increased mass, reaching for her.

Kodachi took a step backwards, brandishing her ribbon. "What is going on?" She snapped the ribbon at the still-forming mass, tearing it apart. The flowers quickly rearranged themselves to fill the gap, as the blob continued to take shape. A pair of long tentacles grew from the bottom, and another pair emerged from the sides near the top of the blob, quickly taking rigid forms. A fifth extension popped out of the top of the main mass, this one a round bulge connected to the lower part by a short, thick tube. Kodachi lashed out again with the ribbon, but one of the upper projections caught the cloth, pulling it out of Kodachi's hand. Kodachi stumbled backwards, groping on the top of her vanity for something, anything to use as a weapon against the living anthropic bouquet.

Before she could strike again, however, the entire mass of roses exploded outwards, filling the room with black petals, blinding Kodachi and making it difficult to breathe. She coughed out a mouthful of petals and slowly edged her way around the vanity, toward the bedroom door. A strong arm grabbed her around the waist, pulling her back to the center of the room. Kodachi screamed and swung a fist at her captor, but felt nothing except for a brief sensation of intense cold, as if she were reaching through a cloud.

As the rose petals began to settle to the floor, the bedroom door flew open. "What is going OOF!" shouted Tatewaki, the final cry of pain in response to the boom smashing him in the face.

"Brother!" cried Kodachi. "Help me!" The cold air behind Kodachi swirled around her, engulfing her completely. She opened her mouth to scream again, but the cold air rushed into her throat, choking her. Kodachi reflexively inhaled to cough the foul air out of her lungs, but that merely filled her lungs with it even faster. She felt her entire body growing colder as the fog worked its way into her bloodstream, and then everything went black as she finally lost consciousness.

Meanwhile, Tatewaki had recovered from the blow to his head and staggered into the room, swinging his bokken randomly as he waved his hand to clear the rose petals from his path. He could vaguely see a human silhouette in the middle of the room, and charged at it, slashing it right through the center. The figure, unfazed by the attack, leapt backwards, right through the window. Tatewaki ran to the window, opened what remained of it, and climbed onto the sill to leap down to the ground below. As he looked down to gauge his jump, he caught sight of the intruder fleeing toward Mr. Green Turtle's pond. The figure, clad in a red shirt and dark trousers, its black hair tied into a pigtail, stopped at the pond's edge and turned to stare up at Tatewaki. For a split second, their eyes met, and a chill ran down Tatewaki's spine. Then, before he could react, the figure vanished, leaving no indication that it had ever existed at all.

Tatewaki's hand clenched the handle of his bokken tightly as a few stray petals blew past him out the window into the Nerima night. He spat the name that was on the tip of his tongue as if it were poisonous, eager to rid his mouth of its filthy taste. "Ranma Saotome... for this, you will die."