Ranma ½: A Deadly Choice

Chapter 7: Ranma's Double Dating Disaster

Ranma stepped into the kitchen, took a deep breath, pressed his thumb against the spigot, and pulled the handle, spraying himself with cold water. He heard a startled gasp from behind him. "Ranma, is there some reason you're turning female?" asked Kasumi.

"I've got a date with Kuno tonight," explained Ranma. Then, thinking better of it, she shook her head. "Actually, don't ask. Do you think I could borrow one of your dresses?"

Kasumi's eyes grew even wider. "You're going to wear a dress? That isn't like you, Ranma!"

"I'm not really looking forward to it either," replied Ranma. "But Akane picked a fancy restaurant, and I know my street clothes aren't gonna cut it."

Kasumi blinked in surprise. "What does Akane have to do with anything? I thought you said your date was with Tatewaki Kuno."

Ranma bit her tongue. "The less you know about it, the better. I'm beginning to think maybe it wasn't such a great idea after all, but I'm committed."

Kasumi sighed. "Well, I still don't understand, but I suppose I can't argue with you. Unfortunately, I think my dresses would be a bit too large for you. You should probably ask Nabiki. She's the closest to your..." - she indicated her chest with her hands - "size."

"You think? I never really looked." Ranma caught herself glancing down at Kasumi's chest and noticed that it was, in fact, a bit smaller than her own. Then again, that was true of most girls, but she hadn't figured Nabiki the type to be so well endowed. Of course, she'd never really bothered to notice. Nabiki's mercenary spirit and incessant money-grubbing tended to be a dissuading factor whenever her chest was available for viewing.

Kasumi smiled. "I'm sure Nabiki will be happy to help you pick out a dress that will suit you."

"For a price," added Ranma.

"I'll speak to her for you if you want," offered Kasumi.

"Nah. Maybe she'll think it's such an amusing concept that she'll let me have the dress for free. And she'll probably want to take pictures, too. That'd make her more money than I could ever pay."

"My goodness, you're so clever!" remarked Kasumi.

Ranma shrugged. "I suppose so. Anyway, thanks for the offer, but I have a feeling I can handle Nabiki myself today." She turned and left the room.

Kasumi hummed contentedly, satisfied that she'd once again fulfilled her role as the helpful maternal figure. But there was something weighing on her mind... a detail that she'd forgotten to mention. Suddenly, it hit her. "Oh, wait!" she called after Ranma. "Akane is also trying on a -"

"RANMA! YOU PERVERT!" came the familiar shout from upstairs, followed by a loud SMACK! and the distinctive crash of a body penetrating a thick wooden ceiling.

"I'm charging you for the cost of repairing that hole, Akane," said Nabiki.

*************************************************

The maitre d' bowed as Akane and Ryoga entered the restaurant. "Welcome to Chez Reireishii, sir and madam," he greeted them. He sniffed haughtily, as if his highly-trained nose had detected the aroma of sub-affluence. "You realize that there is a one hundred thousand yen cover charge."

"A hundred thousand yen just to get in?" repeated Ryoga.

"Check or charge?" asked the maitre d'.

Ryoga sighed and pulled a large wad of bills out of the pocket of his tuxedo. "This dinner is going to cost me a fortune."

"Then you shouldn't have lost the fight," Akane reminded him.

The maitre d' daintily sniffed the money before tucking it into his suitcoat. "Very well, sir. Please step lively." He led the way to the far end of the restaurant, while Akane kept a firm grip on Ryoga's shoulder to prevent him from wandering off. Finally, he stopped at a table right between the doors that led to the kitchen and the bathrooms. "Your table."

Ryoga eyed the doors indignantly. "Not exactly getting the royal treatment, are we?"

"Shall I bring you the wine list, or would you prefer the soft drink menu?" asked the maitre d', his voice displaying none of the haughtiness that was so otherwise evident in his remark.

"Better make it soft drinks," said Ryoga, missing the masked tone completely. "We're underage."

The maitre d' sniffed. "Very well, sir. I shall return shortly."

Ryoga grumbled indistinctly under his breath as he pulled out Akane's chair. She took her seat and gaped at the display on the table. "Ryoga, look! The silverware is all made of pure diamond!" She held up a fork, which gleamed in the light of the crystal chandelier.

Ryoga seated himself and nodded. "No wonder this place is so expensive. I'm tempted to steal something myself."

"Don't!" warned Akane. "They're probably watching us!"

"For a hundred thousand yen, we'd better get more than just a dinner," said Ryoga.

"Oh, come on! This is going to be the best dinner you've ever had!"

Ryoga blushed and shuffled his feet. "Well, yeah... but that's just because you're here."

The fork fell from Akane's fingers and rang resoundingly as it hit the table. "What did you just say?"

"It really didn't matter to me where we ate... as long as we could be together."

Akane stared at the table uncomfortably. "Um... thank you, Ryoga. I think that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."

Ryoga smiled inwardly. Once again, the book's advice had proven impeccable. 'Flattery is a false tool. Simply be honest with your significant other, and the kind words will come naturally.' But the next part was a bit more difficult. The book had been purposefully vague about what to do next, since it claimed that the right approach had to come from within, and any advice would be counterproductive. The problem was that without that advice, he was just Ryoga Hibiki... and that wouldn't help endear him to Akane at all.

"Yo! Ryoga and Akane! Fancy seeing you two here!" called an all-too-familiar voice from across the restaurant, cutting off Ryoga's thoughts.

Ryoga turned around to look, and immediately regretted it. "Oh, great," he murmured as he covered his face with his hands. "Ranma and Kuno are here."

"Ranma and Kuno?" repeated Akane, turning in her seat to look.

Ryoga grabbed her shoulder. "Don't look! Maybe if we pretend we're not here...."

His voice trailed off as it became evident that his hopes would not be realized. Kuno approached the table, dragging the maitre d' by an elbow. "Here," he announced. "We wish to be seated at this table."

"But sir, this table is reserved for" - he cleared his throat disparagingly - "middle class patrons. And as you can see, it is already occupied."

"Nevertheless, you shall seat us with the lovely Akane Tendo," asserted Kuno, producing a large wad of money and waving it under the maitre d's nose.

The maitre d' coughed. "I'm afraid I cannot accept your bribe, sir."

"Then how about this one?" asked Kuno, doubling the size of the stack.

The maitre d's hand darted out of his coat faster than the eye could see, whisking the money into a hiding place on his person. "Please, enjoy your meal."

"Hey! You can't just let them sit at our table!" protested Ryoga.

"They ARE old money," replied the maitre d'.

Kuno selected the seat next to Akane and sat down without waiting for Ranma. "Dearest Akane Tendo, please forgive me! In my haste to dine with the pigtailed girl, I shamefully neglected to invite you as well! Please, allow me to atone for this atrocious oversight by dining with you tonight!"

"Well, yeah," muttered Ranma as she took her seat. "Don't worry about me or nothin'."

"Oh, what joy it is that fills my heart!" cried Kuno, oblivious to the disgust of all three of his dinner companions. "To dine with both the lovely Akane and the gorgeous pigtailed girl in one night! It is my dream come true at last!"

Ryoga slammed his hands on the table and stood up abruptly. "Kuno, may I have a word with you in private?"

The haughtiness of Kuno's slow rise to a standing position rivaled anything that the maitre d' had done all evening. "Very well, peasant. We shall converse where the ears of my beloveds cannot hear."

The two men excused themselves from the table and made their way to a quiet corner of the restaurant. Once they were out of sight of their table, Ryoga jabbed an accusatory finger into Kuno's chest. "What's the big deal with horning in on our date?"

"I don't recall giving you permission to date Akane Tendo," replied Kuno.

"You're the one who told me how to get a date with her!" Ryoga shot back.

"Indeed. But I did not give you permission to use my advice," Kuno pointed out. "Besides, is it in fact true that a knave like you defeated Akane Tendo in combat?"

Ryoga rubbed the back of his head. "Well, not as such, no...."

Kuno smirked triumphantly. "I thought not."

Ryoga sighed in defeat. "Fine. I give up."

"What's the problem, anyway?" Ranma asked casually. "A double date can be fun too."

"Yeah, I suppose that's true," conceded Ryoga. Then he spun around. "What are you doing here?"

"We're waiting on you guys," replied Ranma. "The waiter's all ready to take our order."

"They're called 'waiters' because they wait for us," replied Kuno. "A rightful patron of this establishment would be familiar with that principle."

"Akane's stuck at the table all alone, waiting for us," Ranma pointed out.

Kuno pushed his way roughly past the other two in his haste to return to the table.

Ryoga glared at Ranma. "I know this is your fault, Ranma. But in the interest of keeping Akane happy, I'm not going to pound you now."

"Thanks," Ranma replied sarcastically. "You know, I hear they make a great dish of sweet and sour pork here." She smiled slyly at Ryoga. "What's the matter, pig-boy? You're turning a little green."

"You'd better not say anything in front of Akane, or else," threatened Ryoga.

"You're a fine one to talk, after you blabbed my secret to Kuno," countered Ranma.

"What? How did you know about that?"

"I didn't," replied Ranma. "But I had a hunch. Thanks for confirming it."

Ryoga paled. "Um... look, about that...."

"Hey, forget it," said Ranma. "Like you said, we gotta keep Akane happy, right? I just don't want you hogging all the thanks. Capice?"

Ryoga nodded. Even though his date had been crashed, he had the feeling he was getting off easy. "I got it. So let's get back to the table."

They returned to find Kuno fawning over Akane while she ignored him from behind her menu. "Akane Tendo, even your silence is more eloquent than all the works of Kenji Miyazawa," said Kuno, indicating that the treatment had been going on for quite some time.

"Hey, why don't you spend some time talking to YOUR date?" invited Ryoga as he took his seat.

"Of course!" said Kuno, spinning to face Ranma. "Pigtailed girl, how could I forget you?"

"Don't I wish," mumbled Ranma.

The waiter cleared his throat. "Might you be ready to order now, sirs and madams?"

"Oh, yeah," said Ryoga, picking up his menu. "Um, you girls go ahead and order. I'll just -"

As Ryoga's voice cut off, Ranma handed her menu to the waiter unopened. "Just give me the most expensive pork dish you've got."

"One Roast Suckling Pig for the young lady," recited the waiter, checking a box on his order pad.

"And I'll have the Braised Duck in Lemon Wine," said Akane.

The waiter nodded and checked another box. "And for the gentlemen?"

Ranma waved a hand in front of Ryoga's eyes. "Hey, Ryoga! He's talking to you!"

Ryoga merely gaped.

Kuno scoffed. "Surely he has seen the cost of TRUE food." He brazenly picked up the last menu and opened it. "The poor simply have no appreciation for -" He froze as he set eyes on the menu. "These prices... are insane! For this much money, I could buy a small country! Or a large country! Or even a medium-sized planet!"

"Your orders, sirs?" repeated the waiter impatiently.

Ryoga and Kuno cleared their throats and handed their menus to the waiter. "Glass of water," they said in unison.

*************************************************

Akane sighed glumly, reflecting on how badly the evening was going so far. Not a word had been exchanged for the entire duration of the meal, casting the entire table into a very uncomfortable silence. Ryoga and Ranma had spent the entire time glaring at each other, while Kuno was lost in his own world in admiration of his female companions. She tried to think of a way to start a conversation, but nothing came to mind. Instead, she absently continued to chew, sucked into the silence as completely as everyone else.

The waiter stepped up to the table and cleared his throat pointedly. "Here you are, sirs. Your... beverages."

"Hey, talk about service!" exclaimed Ranma. "We just ordered a few minutes ago!" She accepted a thin glass of cola from the waiter and sipped from it, staring intently at Akane. "Hey, Akane, how come you're chewing on your napkin?"

"I'm doing it to take my mind off of you," she muttered.

"What was that?" asked Ranma. "I can't understand you when your mouth is full."

Akane spat the napkin out and threw it at Ranma, nearly hitting the waiter as he put Kuno's water glass on the table. "What do you think I'm angry about, you jerk? This was supposed to be a fun evening, but ever since you and Upperclassman Kuno showed up, we haven't done anything!"

Ranma crossed her arms indignantly. "So, you'd rather we just left you and Ryoga to your date?"

"Who said anything about a date?" retorted Akane. "This is a victory dinner, if you must know!"

"What victory?" asked Ranma. "Don't tell me this has something to do with that thing earlier when I knocked Ryoga out because he was trying to beat you up."

Ryoga froze in mid-sip and turned to glare at Ranma. "YOU knocked me out?"

"Ah, the pigtailed girl proves herself to be most wily indeed!" exclaimed Kuno.

"Shut up!" shouted Ryoga. "You don't even know what we're talking about!"

"Insolence!" cried Kuno, swinging his arms in a grand gesture that sent his glass of water flying across the table, where it splashed its contents all over Ryoga before spinning around and coming to rest near the edge. Ryoga screamed and dove under the table.

"Way to go, Ranma!" spat Akane. "Now look what you've done!"

"What did I do?" Ranma asked innocently. "He spilled the water!"

"Like you didn't plan that from the start!" accused Akane. "I know you followed us to this restaurant just to interfere with our dinner!"

"I didn't follow you," replied Ranma. "I heard you -" Her voice died quickly as she felt something brush against her leg and realized that there was a more important problem to deal with. She quickly stuck a foot out and stepped on Ryoga's tuxedo, pulling it under her long dress as Akane pushed her chair back.

"Ryoga? Are you okay?" asked Akane. She lifted up the tablecloth and peered under the table. "He's gone!"

"Must've run to the bathroom to clean up," said Ranma. "I guess maybe I'd better go give him a hand." She stood up, slipping her foot under the pieces of Ryoga's tuxedo and shoving them on top of the cowering piglet.

Akane blinked. "You're going to the men's room looking like that?"

"Oh, right. I guess I'll have to change first, won't I?" She spun around and darted through the adjacent women's room door.

"What the heck is he thinking?" Akane asked aloud. "He's wearing a dress!"

"My thoughts I would gladly reveal to you," said Kuno, selectively ignoring most of her comment as usual. "Indeed, my only concern, as is always so, would be -"

"I don't want to hear what you think about me and the pigtailed girl," snapped Akane.

"Ah, she has read my mind!" cried Kuno. "Surely, it is a sign of how deeply in love we twain are!"

Akane groaned. "Oh, Ranma, hurry back!"

*************************************************

Ranma lifted Ryoga into the sink and turned the hot water on, then stepped back to allow the lost boy to hop to the ground as he regained human form. "There. I hope you're happy," she said.

Ryoga shook his head, sending droplets of warm water everywhere. "What do you mean, you hope I'm happy? You're the one who crashed OUR date!"

"So it IS a date!" Ranma declared triumphantly. She brushed the water from her dress, grateful that it hadn't been enough to trigger her own Jusenkyo curse.

"Yeah, it's a date!" Ryoga shot back. "And it was going great, until you butted in and ruined it!"

"Consider it payback for blabbing to Kuno," said Ranma. "If I have to eat dinner with that jerk, you might as well join me."

"Look, Ranma," Ryoga began. "About that whole secret-blabbing thing...."

The door opened, and Ranma quickly shoved Ryoga into the nearest stall and turned on the sink, pretending to wash her hands. A high-strung woman wearing a pearl necklace and a dress half-covered in thick white fur crossed the room, pausing only to sniff ever so slightly as she walked past Ranma, before stepping into the stall where Ryoga was hiding. There was a feminine shriek from within the stall, followed by a much deeper, masculine shriek that ended in a splash. Then, the woman ran out of the bathroom, screaming "A man! There's a man in the women's room! Someone call the manager immediately!"

"Great. You didn't even lock the stall door?" asked Ranma. She stepped around the partition, fished Ryoga out of the toilet, and dropped him into the sink again.

"Just give me my clothes," snarled Ryoga as he leapt to the floor again. "And remind me to kill you as soon as this date is over."

"I'm just wondering which is more embarrassing. Being caught naked in a women's bathroom, or having your curse triggered by toilet water. I hope whoever used it last flushed."

Ryoga blushed. "I swear, if you ever breathe a word of this to Akane, I'll...!"

"He's right in there!" exclaimed the excited woman's voice from just outside the door.

"Hey, you'd better hide," said Ranma.

"Yeah, right. And get dunked in the toilet again?"

Ranma covered the tap with her palm and turned the cold spigot, spraying Ryoga liberally. "Just shut up and hide under my dress," she advised. "I've got a plan."

There was a knock on the door. "Is anyone in there?" asked a deep voice.

"I'm just washing up!" Ranma shouted back. "Enter if you like!" Ryoga quickly slid under the hem of her dress. "You'd better not get any funny ideas, pal," muttered Ranma as the door opened. "If you've got so much as a tiny nosebleed when we get out of here...." That said, she smiled innocently at the manager and leaned against the sink, one hand covering the faucet while the other prepared to twist the handle that would disgorge hot water.

*************************************************

Akane watched the bathroom door anxiously as the hysterical woman led the manager inside. "What am I going to do? If Ranma's really in trouble, maybe I should help him! But then, it's his own fault for showing up here in the first place. But this could really be serious!" Her face fell as she felt Kuno's hand wrap around her own, and she pulled her arm back just in time to avoid his apologetic kiss.

"Oh, my dearest Akane, please forgive this tragic error!" begged Kuno. "My sorrow overwhelms me at my deplorable oversight in not inviting you on this soirée, even in the face of such joy that I discovered you already here!"

Akane sighed. "Kuno, get a clue. I'm really not interested in you."

"And such noble sacrifice as she depicts, in offering to forsake her love for me to preserve my own feelings!" continued Kuno. "Yet at that, I would love her all the more!" He took her hand again and stared into her eyes. "Please, allow me to atone for my shame by dating with you!"

She yanked her hand out of his grip again. "Hey, aren't you even a little worried about your date?"

"Our date?" he repeated. "But I've only just asked."

"No, I mean -"

"I tell you, that red-haired woman is a man!" protested the old woman as the manager dragged her out of the ladies' room. "And I saw him turn into a pig as well!"

"Madam, that is absurd!" exclaimed the manager. "I'll not tolerate you treating our customers that way, even if they are middle class! That woman happens to be the fiancée of a very prominent upper-class member of our establishment!"

"A pig, I tell you!" insisted the woman. "A tiny black beast with a yellow cloth around its neck!"

"Assuredly, Madam, you jest," said the manager sullenly, as he pushed her toward the front door.

Kuno shook his head sadly. "Why they let lunatics into places like this, I will never know."

Akane stared blankly, not sure which of the many thoughts running through her head she should express first. Finally, she picked one at random. "What was that she was shouting about a black pig? Was that P-chan? It couldn't be... did Ranma bring P-chan to this restaurant as some kind of joke? How could he? What would happen if somebody found him?"

Her train of thought ended abruptly as the waiter leaned over her shoulder. "Excuse me, Madam," he asked as he lifted the cover from the plate in his hand. "Is this your pig?" She turned around to face a roast suckling pig on a silver platter, surrounded by succulent garden-fresh greens, its jaw clamped around a small apple, beside a bed of finest whipped potatoes sprinkled with chives for garnish.

She fainted.

Kuno stretched out an arm to catch her. "Ah! So overcome with her passion for me that she swoons! I am so touched! Yet shall I, like Prince Charming, awaken her hereby with a kiss." He puckered up and bent down to lightly kiss her on the lips.

Akane's eyes flew open as Kuno made contact, and she found herself staring into his lust-filled gaze. Her hand rose to sharply smack the side of his head even before she'd realized what she was seeing. He let go of her in his surprise, but no sooner had she fallen to the floor than she climbed back into her seat and grabbed her glass of soda, threw back as much as she could hold in her mouth and gargled loudly. She spat the liquid disgustedly back onto the glass and stuck out her tongue. "Gross! Why do I always wake up with some creepy guy's tongue down my throat?"

Kuno blinked. "To be fair, dearest, I had not yet -"

"Shut. Up," said Akane, clearly enunciating each word. "I. Don't. Want. To. Hear. It."

Kuno stared back in sullen silence, unable to comprehend why she seemed so upset after having been privileged to receive his kiss. Not wanting to waste the silence, Akane glared right back, breathing heavily, until Ranma and Ryoga returned to their seats, laughing uproariously.

"Oh, man, that was a classic!" cried Ranma. "I can't believe she fell for it!"

Ryoga nodded, brushing tears of joy from his eyes. "Oh, yeah! I wish I'd seen the look on her face! I thought I was gonna die laughing!"

Akane's anger toward Kuno vanished, swept into obscurity by newfound rage at the other two. "You two set that thing up?"

Ranma's laughter died in her throat. "Well, yeah. What else would Ryoga and I have been doing in the women's bathroom?"

"What's the matter?" asked Ryoga. "You seem upset about something."

"Upset?" repeated Akane, her voice raising several octaves with each syllable. "UPSET? What do you think? That was the most insensitive thing you two have ever done!"

"Wow, that's going pretty far," said Ranma under her breath. Aloud, she did her best to defend herself. "Come on, Akane. It was just a joke. Nobody got hurt."

Much to Ranma's surprise, Akane slammed her fists on the table and stood up, knocking over the waiter and both of the dishes he was holding. "That was a really rotten joke! I can't believe the two of you could be so cruel!"

"What'd we do?" asked Ryoga, shrinking from Akane's righteous indignation.

Akane quickly turned her back on the table to hide the tears that were starting to run from her eyes. "You... jerks! How could you? All I wanted was a nice dinner... even if Ranma and Kuno were here, I thought we could all get along. But you had to go and ruin it! I'm sorry I ever came here!" With that, she ran out of the restaurant, narrowly evading Ryoga's attempt to grab her arm before she could get away.

"Wait, Akane Tendo!" shouted Kuno. "We have yet to finish our kiss!"

"Like that's going to bring her pelting back," muttered Ryoga.

Ranma grabbed Kuno's shoulder and spun him around. "You kissed Akane? You bastard!"

"Of course! How callous of me!" With that, Kuno threw his arms around Ranma and planted a wet one right on her lips.

It didn't take long for Ranma's foot to embed itself deep in Kuno's gut, knocking him off the chair to land on the waiter's prone form, but the damage had been done. Ranma grabbed Akane's soda glass and gargled heartily, spitting the liquid back into the glass when she was done. "I can't get rid of the taste!" she whined, spitting into the glass again. "What the hell were you thinking?"

Winded, Kuno neglected to answer, but Ryoga's laughter prevented the quiet restaurant from lapsing into total silence. "I can't believe it!" he chortled. "Ranma's first kiss was with Kuno!"

"It was not!" Ranma shouted back. Then, thinking of the kiss that HAD been her first, she bit her tongue. One kiss from a man was far more than enough. "I kissed Shampoo once, remember?"

Kuno sat up and blinked. "Shampoo? The serving maiden at the house of ramen?" His eyes rolled upward as he tried to picture it.

Ranma quickly kicked him in the head. "Don't get any funny ideas, jerk! I was a man at the time!"

"That's impossible," said Kuno. "Such a body as yours is too perfect to be the result of cosmetic surgery! I will not believe it!"

"Cosmetic... surgery...?" Ranma shook her head. "What are you talking about? Don't you know about the curse?"

"Ah, yes, the tragic story of your youth related to me by an anonymous man by the name of Ryoga Hibiki!" recalled Kuno. "It is said that when you were but a baby, you were dropped into a bath of boiling water, and that your fear of hot water lasts to this day! Such a disgrace was it to your family that your father disowned you, and if your mother ever found out, she would use it against you to force you to marry a man other than myself! That must not come to pass, and so I shall defend you with my life!"

Ranma continued to stare at Kuno for several long minutes before she finally raised her gaze to Ryoga. "Fear of hot water? Father disowned me? Marry a man?" She pressed her fists together and cracked her knuckles. "Tell me, Ryoga... where would he get such a ridiculous idea?"

"Um...." Ryoga reached up and loosened his collar. "You know what? I just remembered I have to be somewhere else right now. I don't think it really matters where, since I won't be able to find it anyway...." He quickly leapt aside as Ranma lunged across the table, narrowly avoiding what would have been a crushing grasp. He turned and fled from the restaurant with the angry pseudo-girl in hot pursuit.

"Wait for me, my beloved!" shouted Kuno as he climbed to his feet. "I shall smite the infidel for you!" He managed one step toward the door, crushing a few of the poor waiter's vital organs, before he was stopped by a hand holding a small piece of paper in front of his face. His eyes crossed as he tried to read the numbers that were so small and yet so large. "This can't be...."

"Your check, sir," announced the manager.

Kuno fainted.

*************************************************

Ukyo triumphantly stacked the last of the clean dishes on the appropriate shelf and dropped her dishtowel next to the sink. "Whew! Even after all the customers are gone, there's a lot to do to keep a big place like this running! I'm definitely going to have to find an assistant once the new school year starts." She tapped her chin with a finger. "Then again, I could have a whole wait staff, like a real restaurant! No more of this mom-and-pop nonsense. It's time for Ukyo Kuonji to move up to the big time!" She boldly shoved the swinging door open and stepped out into the restaurant. "Look out world, because here I - Ranma?"

"Hey," said Ranma with a casual wave. "How's it going?"

"What are you doing here so late?" asked Ukyo. "I've been closed for half an hour."

Ranma shrugged. "Figured maybe you'd like to go somewhere together."

Ukyo blinked. "Are you asking me on a date?"

"I guess so," replied Ranma. "Why not?"

Ukyo giggled shyly. "Yeah, I suppose so. I mean, you're usually not this forward."

"Oh, right." Ranma blushed and rubbed the floor with his toe. "Well, if you don't want to, then I guess...."

"No, that's not it at all!" said Ukyo, feeling a blush coming to her own face. "I'd love to! You just caught me by surprise is all."

"Do you need time to get ready, then?" offered Ranma.

Ukyo pulled off her apron and threw it onto a random table. "Ready."

Ranma smiled broadly. "You look cute no matter what you wear."

Ukyo's blush deepened, and she had to restrain herself from grabbing the apron to cover her face. "What's gotten into you, Ranma honey?"

"Don't worry about it," said Ranma, offering his elbow. "Shall we go?"

Ukyo started to stretch out her arm, then stopped. "I don't know... this is too weird. What's Akane going to think?"

"What does she matter?" asked Ranma. "I'm here for you."

"You're not even worried," observed Ukyo. "Something's wrong here. You normally can't get within a mile of me without Akane showing up, and you NEVER hold a conversation with me without mentioning her at least once. Usually looking over your shoulder to make sure she's not there."

"Tonight's our night," said Ranma, stretching his arms toward her. "Forget about Akane."

"No," Ukyo said firmly, backing away. "I don't feel comfortable with this. Not tonight. Let's make a date for another time, okay? I close early on Tuesdays...."

"I can't wait any longer," said Ranma as he advanced on her. "I have to be with you tonight."

Ukyo reached down to her belt and grabbed a handful of spatulas. "Stay away from me!" she shouted. "Don't make me use these!"

When Ranma showed no signs of stopping, Ukyo hauled back and hurled the spatulas from point blank range. Without even slowing his stride, Ranma blocked each one with a sweep of his arm, catching it in his other hand and sending it back at her faster than her eyes could follow. Even before her arm had finished the throwing motion, she was pinned to the wall by her own spatulas.

"How did you do that?" she asked, panic rising in her voice. "Even Ranma isn't THAT fast!"

"I thought you already knew I wasn't the real Ranma," replied her assailant. His body dissolved into a flowing black cloud. "Ordinarily, the Projectile Return technique would have killed you, but I can't afford to let you die on me. I need you alive."

Ukyo's eyes scanned the room, searching for a means of escape, but the demon filled most of her field of vision as it reached for her face. Frantically, she pulled her right arm away from the wall, tearing right out of her sleeve in her effort to escape. The shift in weight caused the rest of her uniform to give at the seams, and she fell to the floor in her undershirt and panties.

"Quite a lovely view," teased the demon. "But that beautiful body is all mine now." The cold mist of the demon's body brushed against her back, and she quickly rolled to the side, sat up, and lunged through the kitchen door. She landed on her back and watched in horror as the black fog oozed through the cracks surrounding the still-swinging door, pouring into the room in search of her. She scrambled to her feet, slipping a bit on the slick floor, and ran out the back door, slamming it closed behind her. Without waiting to see whether that would prove to be an effective barrier, she ran away as fast as her bare feet could carry her, trying to shut out the demon's enraged screams as she escaped into the cold Nerima night.