Ranma ½: A Deadly Choice
Chapter 9: Razor, the Amazing Backwards Boy
A dark shadow moved across the room, waking Akane from an unusually light slumber. She threw off the blanket and leapt out of her bed, swinging a fist at the intruder.
"Ow!" screamed Ranma as he took the blow on the side of his head. "Akane, what's the big idea?"
"What's the big idea of YOU sneaking into my room at night?" she shot back.
"You should talk," said Ranma. "You've been sneaking around with Ryoga all this time, haven't you?"
"No, I haven't! Ryoga left a long time ago!"
Ranma shrugged. "It doesn't look that way to me. As far as I know, you and Ryoga have been making out every night and going out on dates every day. You should think about things from my point of view."
"You're acting weird again, Ranma," Akane said carefully as she backed away from him. "What's wrong with you?"
"You're distancing yourself from me, Akane," said Ranma. "I want to be closer to you."
He stepped forward, and Akane found herself unable to move. The power of his voice seemed to paralyze her legs. "What are you doing to me?" she asked, panic creeping into her voice.
"I'm doing what I should have done a long time ago," replied Ranma. "I'm making the choice a little bit easier."
"What choice?" she asked as he reached for her arm. She quickly pulled it out of reach, but Ranma's hand continued to move forward like a pair of lazy tongs - only instead of a pair of jointed extensions, his arm was a writhing cloud of black mist. The cold fingers clamped around her wrist while the mist ran across the floor and swirled around her legs, wrapping them like a human burrito.
"You're mine now, Akane. You'll always be mine from now on," he whispered softly. "The demon's come for you. Wake up."
"NO!" she screamed, swinging her free arm at his head. Once again, it connected, and she fell off her bed and landed on the floor, her legs tangled in the blanket. She quickly pulled her arm up to her face and bit the hand that was holding her wrist, taking satisfaction at Ranma's scream.
"Ow! Geez, what's the big idea?" asked Ranma as he pulled his arm back, rubbing his hand.
Akane rubbed her eyes and shook her head. It had all been a dream! A weird dream, to say the least, but.... She quickly kicked the blanket away and climbed back onto the bed. "Stay back!" she warned him. "I'll scream and wake everybody up!"
"What's with you tonight? You're acting just like -" Ranma choked back Ukyo's name and voiced the idea that had just formed. "Let me guess. A demon that looked just like me broke in and attacked you, right?" He glanced down at P-chan, who shook his head in denial from Akane's pillow.
Akane, on the other hand, gaped in amazement. "I just dreamed that! But how did you know?"
Ranma took a deep breath. "It may have been just a dream, but the demon is real. I just saw it."
"You saw it?" repeated Akane. "Where?"
"At Ucchan's new restaurant," he replied. "It... it got her."
Akane gasped. "Then it's still in Nerima?"
Ranma nodded. "Yeah, and I think it's going to come after you next."
"After me?" Akane found herself short of breath. She didn't spook easily, but after waking up from that nightmare, the sensation of being caught in that black mist was very real and very terrifying.
Before she could collect her thoughts, Ranma continued. "I don't think it will come back tonight, but if it does, I'll hold it off so you can get away. Don't try to fight it, and don't worry about me. That was Ukyo's mistake."
"What are you going to do?" asked Akane.
"I don't know," replied Ranma. "I tried to fight it, and I lost. I thought I'd beaten it, but it was just playing dead. I'm not going to fall for that one again... but it survived a Hiryu Shoten Ha, and everything else I tried, it just countered. I don't know if there's a way to beat it."
"Then I'm not going to -"
"You'll go!" snapped Ranma. "It's not after me, it's after you. If you try to fight it, you'll just be giving it what it wants. Get the hell out of here and don't tell me where you go, got it?"
Akane gave up trying to argue and simply nodded. When the time came, she'd decide for herself whether Ranma was right about the demon being unbeatable. "What if it doesn't show up tonight?"
"Then we go back to Gosunkugi's tomorrow and tell him what we've learned. If there's a way to beat the demon, he'll know what it is."
"Then at least we have a plan," said Akane, feeling much relieved. "That's the first step."
Ranma's spine stiffened at the sound of those words, but he quickly dismissed the sensation. There was too much weirdness to worry about one idle comment. "You ARE still Akane, aren't you?"
Akane glared at him. "Of course I am! Are you still Ranma?"
He stuck out his tongue. "You tell me, uncute tomboy."
She pounded him on the chin, giving his tongue a set of bite marks to match the ones on his fingers, then stormed over to the closet, grabbed a dress, and stomped out of the room without a word.
"Thtill uncute," Ranma decided. But he'd felt a certain liberation from insulting her - a sense that, for the first time in days, he was doing what he was supposed to be doing. And that, more than any of his other strange actions, worried him greatly.
*************************************************
Hikaru Gosunkugi crept down the staircase as he did every morning, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he went. Morning always came far too soon, mere hours after the sun had begun to rise - and what would be the point of falling asleep before then and wasting the beautiful night hours? The greatest voodoo could only be performed when the sun god was watching the other side of the Earth, and the benevolent moon god was casting his light on Japan. More moonlight meant more power, and more power obviously meant more chance that today would be the day Akane would finally realize her love for him. And so, he'd been up all night, working under the almost full moon to perfect the last details on the Akane doll. Whatever had gone wrong last time wouldn't happen again; he was sure of that.
Today's problem was something totally different. He couldn't find the pin.
He'd combed every inch of his floor with a powerful magnet, pulling out enough flooring tacks that the carpet was beginning to curl in places, but there was no sign of the pin. It hadn't ended up in his clothing, nor was it between the pages of any of the books he'd had open the day before. And there was no chance of finding a replacement on short notice - he'd soaked the original in some of Akane's sweat, but hadn't thought to keep a vial handy in case of such an emergency. Substitutions would not be accepted! The perfect doll required the perfect pin.
He squeezed the doll helplessly. "Dammit, where is that stupid pin?" he growled. "Akane's going to be here any second!"
And at that very moment, with impeccable timing, the doorbell rang.
Gosunkugi sighed his defeat. The plan would have to wait another day. He pulled the mask down from the wall, stuffed the doll into the cavity behind it, and hung it back in its place. "Who's there?" he called out unnecessarily.
"It's Akane Tendo and Ranma Saotome," Akane's sweet voice replied. "We're here to talk to you about that mogui we mentioned yesterday."
Gosunkugi opened the door and waved them inside. "The what now?"
"The demon," replied Akane as she crossed the threshold. "You called it a mogui, didn't you?"
Gosunkugi nodded slowly. "Yes, I did... but you weren't there, if I recall correctly."
Ranma's face screwed up in concentration. "Yeah, that's right... Kuno and I came back later while you were making that date with Ryoga."
"And how did you know about THAT?" Akane asked suspiciously.
"We met you there," Ranma replied smoothly. "Or have you forgotten?"
"I still don't think that was a coincidence," continued Akane, her temper rising.
"Well, you obviously made your date first," countered Ranma.
"But that doesn't give you the right to interrupt it!"
"What gave you the right to make it in the first place?"
"Please, please!" interjected Gosunkugi, stepping between the two before their argument could escalate out of control. "We're here to talk about the demon, remember?"
"Right," Akane quickly agreed, glad for the distraction. "We think we've figured out what the demon's pattern is."
"It has a pattern?" repeated Gosunkugi. "So, it's kidnapped someone else...."
"Ukyo," said Ranma.
"The okonomiyaki girl?" Gosunkugi moaned. "That was one of the few places I could afford to eat!"
"This is more important than okonomiyaki," said Ranma.
"Right, right," said Gosunkugi, clearing his throat. "Seriously, this means we don't have long to act. I suspect this rate of kidnappings will continue... demons are generally pretty punctual."
"So, the next kidnapping will be tonight," Akane expounded. "And if our hunch is right, it's me the demon will be coming for."
Gosunkugi's face went pale. "Y-you? Akane Tendo?" He whirled around and pointed determinedly toward his study. "Then we haven't a moment to lose! Let's figure out a way to stop this demon!"
Ranma hung back to talk to Akane while Gosunkugi went on ahead. "Is it just me, or did he totally change his tune just then?"
"I had a feeling he'd be a bit more motivated if I mentioned that I was the next victim," said Akane.
Ranma stared at her quizzically. "How come?"
"Oh, come on, Ranma! Haven't you ever noticed the way he's always staring at me and taking my picture? The poor boy obviously has a crush on me!"
"Well, yeah, but I never expected you to notice it!"
"The signs are painfully clear," said Akane. "I'm just surprised I never figured it out before."
"You're not the only one who's surprised," Ranma muttered under his breath.
They entered the study to find Gosunkugi knee-deep in a pile of books, flipping through the pages of a particularly thick tome. "There was something in here about dealing with a demon. Some kind of five-step approach...."
"What's with all the books?" asked Ranma. "Wasn't there one that told you all about the mobli?"
"Mogui," Gosunkugi corrected him. "And that book merely had a brief description of the demon. For in-depth analysis and strategies for dealing with particular demons, we need more specific books. Fortunately, I inherited this library from my father, which as it happens, was the reason I got into voodoo in the first -"
"Yeah, great," Ranma cut him off. "So, what's the book say to do?"
"Would you let me finish answering one question before asking another?" snapped Gosunkugi.
"I don't need your life story," said Ranma, dismissing Gosunkugi's tirade. "I just want to know how to beat the demon."
Gosunkugi cleared his throat. "Yes, well, as I was about to say before you interrupted, there's a five-step approach detailed in 'Defeating Demons: The Five-Step Approach'."
"Clever."
"Let me guess," said Akane. "The first step is to identify the demon, right?"
"Right," agreed Gosunkugi. "We've done that. So we move on to the second step."
"Determine the demon's weakness?" Akane guessed.
Ranma sighed. "What's next? Defeat the demon using that weakness, then go out and celebrate until the next demon shows up so you're back to step one?"
"This is a highly researched and tested process," Gosunkugi informed him. "Actually, determining the demon's weakness is the fourth step. Before that, we need to find a way to protect ourselves, and then a way to keep the demon from what it wants."
"Fat chance of that," scoffed Ranma. "It's got all the martial arts skill I have, and then some." It hurt to admit it, but even he couldn't catch and return projectiles as efficiently as the demon could. And that trick with the Moko Takabisha... was there a human alive who could manipulate energy that way?
Gosunkugi broke into his train of thought. "Then you'll just have to find another way to beat it that doesn't involve fighting."
Ranma blinked. "There's another way?"
"He means we have to come up with a plan," Akane informed him.
"Wasn't that what we were doing in the first place?"
Akane rolled her eyes as if Ranma were missing something obvious. "We are coming up with a plan! These steps are just a way of dividing the task into smaller steps that are easier to plan!"
Gosunkugi nodded. "That's very insightful, Akane."
Akane blushed despite herself. "Why, thank you, Hikaru."
Gosunkugi seemed to deflate at the sound of Akane's praise. He sagged onto the pile of books and twitched, gibbering quietly.
"Hikaru!" gasped Akane. "What's wrong?"
Ranma bent down and poked Gosunkugi carefully. "I think you broke him."
"I'm not broken!" asserted Gosunkugi as he straightened up, standing just a bit taller than before. "I was just taking some time to think about the remaining aspects of the plan. Now, what the demon wants is Akane, so steps two and three are one and the same. That's why I've been reading this book, 'The Ways of the Mogui', searching for ways to ward off the demon."
"And what did you find?" asked Ranma.
"Just this." Gosunkugi flipped back a few pages and read the appropriate line. "'Once summoned, the mogui is single-minded and focused entirely on its purpose. Nothing will impede it from reaching its goal.'"
"Why do they even bother to write entire books when there's always one sentence that summarizes everything?" asked Ranma.
Akane ignored him. "So, what you're saying is that there's no way to stop it?"
"That's what the book says," replied Gosunkugi.
"But what happens if the demon's purpose is negated?" asked Akane. "What would it do then?"
"Let me see," said Gosunkugi, flipping through the pages. "I can't say for sure at this point, but since the demon exists solely to complete its purpose, I would guess that without a purpose, the demon would cease to exist."
Ranma glared at Akane. "So how would we do that? Hide you someplace where the demon can't find you?"
"It will find her wherever she goes," said Gosunkugi. "As long as Akane's alive, the demon will hunt her down."
Ranma paled. "You don't mean...."
"What if we figure out who summoned the demon and find out what they want me for?" Akane suggested. "If we can find some other way to give them what they want, then they won't need me anymore, and the demon will disappear!"
Gosunkugi snapped his fingers. "Excellent thinking, Akane!"
"Hey, good point," agreed Ranma. "If that's the case...."
"You have an idea?" asked Gosunkugi.
Ranma smiled slyly. "We don't have to worry about Akane, because no one in their right mind would want to kidnap her!"
Akane brought a fist down on his head. "Of course they want to kidnap me, you jerk! They're kidnapping girls who want to marry you!"
"Then... you...?" Gosunkugi stammered.
Akane instantly blushed. "No, I didn't mean it like that!"
Ranma shrugged. "Well, if you're not interested in me anymore, then you're probably safe."
Akane raised her fist again, threateningly. "Just give me a reason to smack you again!"
"You need a reason?" asked Ranma.
That proved to suffice.
"Ranma does bring up a good point, though," Gosunkugi mentioned. "We're jumping to a conclusion based on two data points. There might be something else that links Kodachi to Ukyo that we haven't considered."
Ranma pictured the two girls in his mind, side by side. "Nope. Just wanting me."
"Well, that girl Shampoo who always breaks into the classroom also seems to like Ranma," Gosunkugi put in. "Has anyone considered that she might be a potential victim?"
"Hey, yeah!" said Ranma. "She hangs on me as much as both of the other two put together!"
Akane hummed thoughtfully to herself.
"What are you thinking about, Akane?" asked Gosunkugi.
"Ukyo and I suspected Shampoo from the beginning," she replied. "And it wouldn't be entirely unlike her to do something to take the rest of us out of the running."
"So it's not just kidnapping Ranma's suitors, but the girls Shampoo considers to be competition," said Gosunkugi.
"Assuming Akane's right about Shampoo being responsible for it," added Ranma.
"You'd believe her over me?" asked Akane.
"We haven't ASKED her yet," Ranma pointed out. "I don't want to go accusing someone until we have the full story."
"You don't honestly think Shampoo would tell us if she'd summoned a demon, do you?"
Ranma shrugged. "No way to know unless we ask."
Akane threw up her hands in defeat. "Fine! Let's go ask her then! We'll just tell her we know what's going on and give away our element of surprise!"
"We don't HAVE an element of surprise," Ranma corrected her. "By now, if she's controlling the demon, she knows that we know. If anything, she's expecting us."
"And you're going to go?"
Ranma adjusted his collar. "I hate to disappoint."
"You must hate it pretty often," Akane retorted.
Ranma nodded his satisfaction. "Glad to hear you agree. So, let's go already!" He grabbed Akane's shirt sleeve and dragged her out of the room.
"Hikaru, call me if you find out anything else!" Akane shouted back over her shoulder.
Gosunkugi could hardly breathe. "C-c-c-call? Did Akane just ask me to call her? At her house? On her phone? For a date?" He didn't even notice how nervous he was until he heard the crunch of the hardcover book crumpling in his hands. "Oh, drat. I don't think that's got a warranty."
*************************************************
It didn't take Ranma and Akane long to reach their destination, because she met them halfway, sitting patiently on a chain-link fence beside the road. "Nihao, Ranma! Nihao, Ranma shadow!"
Akane snarled. "Shampoo... just the person we wanted to see!"
"You looking Shampoo? Great-grandmother be happy. She thought you going to visit her instead." She gasped, covering her mouth delicately as if to hold the errant words in.
"Aha!" shouted Ranma. "So it IS -"
"Can it, Shampoo," snapped Akane, cutting him off before he could finish his declaration. "We're not falling for your stupid trick."
Shampoo spread her arms innocently. "What trick?"
Akane's eyes narrowed. "You know exactly what's going on, and you WANT us to go talk to your great-grandmother."
"She does?" asked Ranma.
"I do?" asked Shampoo.
Akane groaned. "Of COURSE you do. It's written all over your face!"
"Ack!" Shampoo gasped, rubbing her cheeks with her hands. "Shampoo wash! Shampoo wash!"
"Pffft," Akane snorted. "How could someone that stupid expect to fool us?"
Shampoo hopped off the fence and brandished her bonbori. "You want come here say that?"
Ranma stepped in front of Akane before the girls could start a fight. "Shampoo, we're not here to fight. We just need some answers."
Shampoo smiled brightly. "Okay! Shampoo answer only for Ranma!"
Ranma noticed Akane's fists clenching and decided to put his diplomacy skills to the test. "What do you know about the demon that looks like me?"
The question seemed to confuse Shampoo. "Demon not look like Ranma!"
"Then you DO know about a demon!" cried Akane.
Shampoo crossed her arms and refused to speak.
Ranma sighed. "Shampoo, the demon already kidnapped Ukyo and Kodachi. We have to find it and get them back."
Shampoo's eyes widened in surprise. "That no is possible! Demon only supposed to kidnap airen!"
It was Ranma's turn to be shocked. "Kidnap me? What are you talking about?"
This time, Shampoo's startled gasp was legitimate, as she realized her unintentional slip.
"There's something you're not telling me, Shampoo, and I want to know what it is!" shouted Ranma. "What are you doing to me, and where are the other girls?"
"Shampoo not know! No more questions!" With that, Shampoo leapt onto the fence and then to the top of the nearest building.
"Hey! I'm not done with you yet!" shouted Ranma as he chased after her.
"Wait! Ranma!" Akane called after him, but he was too fixated on his quarry to hear her. "Man!" she groaned. "There's no way I can keep up with them on the rooftops!" She considered her situation carefully and quickly realized that there were only two places they could be going, and that one of them was far more likely than the other. She decided on the fastest route and set off toward the probable rendezvous.
*************************************************
Ranma lost sight of Shampoo for a split second when she jumped back down to the ground between a pair of buildings, but it would take more than that to throw him off the trail. He followed her in short order, curling into a ball as he landed to slip under the knife that flew at his head from behind. He stood up facing the other direction and addressed his hidden assailant. "What the heck did you do that for, Mou-?" He quickly broke off as he realized that the man he was speaking to wasn't Mousse. He wore a robe in the same style, suggesting that he, too, was a master of the Art of Hidden Weapons, but for some reason, he had it on backwards. His hair was bright orange and stood in a bun atop his head, secured by a knife in whose handle was set a large ruby with more facets than Ranma could count. As Ranma stared into his eyes, trying to size his new opponent up quickly, he noticed an even stranger characteristic of the man - his eyes were discolored, each one an ink black pool surrounding the green iris, with a tiny white pupil in the center. But the greatest oddity wouldn't be revealed until he answered Ranma's automatic question. "Who the heck are you?"
The man inhaled deeply with an air of impatience. "Myself again introducing must I? Of knives master, Razor being I!"
It took Ranma a few seconds to parse the pair of sentences. "Are you... talking backwards?"
Razor shook his head vigorously. "Of course. You how much being stupid?"
"Was that an insult from the amazing backwards boy?" taunted Ranma.
Razor's face paled as he gritted his teeth angrily. "Your tongue minding should you." His fingers twitched, and in an instant, he was holding a pair of throwing knives by their blades.
Ranma smirked. "Better watch it. You don't want to throw those the wrong way."
"Of you, concern not being my knives to where throwing I!" Razor shouted, swinging his arm and throwing both knives at once.
Ranma barely had to twist aside to let both of them pass to opposite sides of his body. "You throw about as well as you talk, 'of knives master'," he taunted.
Razor frowned. "For my speech complimenting, you thanking I."
Before Ranma could even begin to wonder what part of his insult Razor was taking as a compliment, he felt the tiny wires rub against his shoulders and quickly raised his arms, but it was too late. The momentum of the knives whirling around him at lightning speed pulled the wires through a double spiral, wrapping him up from neck to waist and pinning his arms to his sides. As the knives finished their final circuit, Razor hurled a third blade at Ranma's midsection, binding his legs with another wire.
Even with his natural sense of balance, it took everything Ranma had to stay on his feet as he strained against his bonds. The razor-thin wires quickly tore through his shirt and skin, drawing bleeding lines around his arms and torso, but didn't break despite the incredible force he was applying.
Razor clicked his tongue disapprovingly. "Too late being it but, you to not fighting warning would have I. Through your blood now flowing my wires coating poison."
Ranma didn't even need to understand that sentence to realize that he was in a very bad position. "Poison?"
"Not worrying should you," Razor said with a reassuring nod. "To sleep putting you, your energy draining poison only being it."
"That's still cheap!" Ranma protested, continuing to push against the wires with all his fading might. "Can't you fight fair?"
"Can," replied Razor. "But that today not being intention."
"That sounded almost forwards," Ranma noted idly, as he felt the poison begin to take effect. His muscles relaxed, and he fell forward, landing flat on his face in front of Razor. "Man, this stuff ish quack."
"Indeed," agreed Razor. He quickly slipped the flat of a knife blade into the back of Ranma's collar and flipped the helpless boy onto his shoulder.
"Wht yu plning do?" asked Ranma, barely able to move his lips anymore.
"You to Cologne taking will I," replied Razor. "With you speaking wanting she."
"Hold it right there!" shouted Akane's voice from the mouth of the alley. "Put him down or there's going to be trouble!"
Razor inhaled sharply. "If from here now not leaving you, indeed being will trouble."
Akane quickly shook her head. "With your backwards talking, me confusing not can you!"
Razor blinked in confusion. "WHAT?"
"Kane, stbk," Ranma did his best to shout. "Pzn... wire...."
"What was that?" asked Akane. "Poison something?"
"Ha!" Razor laughed. "On stupid girl precious poison wire wasting as if would I!"
"Poison wire, eh? So, that's what Ranma was trying to warn me about!" She took a battle stance. "If you want to take Ranma anywhere, you'll have to beat me first!"
"Easy!" returned Razor. He reached into his sleeve and threw a knife at Akane, handle-first, in a single quick motion. Akane caught the knife by the handle and swung her arm, sending the knife right back at Razor. However, her aim was wide, and the blade flew right past his shoulder, just scraping Ranma's back. "Ha! Me missing did you!"
Akane charged forward to attack at close range, but while Razor drew a pair of knives to defend himself with, Akane slid between his legs and rolled to her feet just behind him. Razor spun around to face her, but Akane quickly whipped the length of wire she'd grabbed at him, slashing a cut across his upper arm. Ranma tumbled to the ground, the rest of the wires that bound him falling off on the way down.
Razor shrieked and quickly reached into his sleeve, withdrawing a small vial of green liquid. He pried the cork out with the blade of a knife, but before he could drink it, Akane snatched it from his hand and poured its contents into Ranma's mouth. "Drink this, Ranma! It's the antidote to the poison!"
Ranma weakly swallowed the antidote. "Oh, yeah. That feels pretty good."
Akane turned around and glared at Razor, who was already on his knees. "I hope you've got an extra dose in that robe. Looks like I used it all up on Ranma."
Razor reached up his sleeve and fished another vial out, but his hands were shaking too much to open it. He set the vial on the ground before it could fall and break, then collapsed beside it. "Help...." he whispered.
"First, tell me what you wanted with Ranma," Akane ordered him.
Before Razor could refuse to respond, Shampoo leapt from the roof above, kicking Akane's unguarded chest. Akane stumbled, giving the Amazon girl a chance to scoop up the vial, pry out the cork, and lower it to Razor's lips. "Spit, Razor! Spit out!"
Razor obligingly swallowed the liquid in one gulp. "You thanking I, Shampoo."
Satisfied that Razor was in no danger from the poison, Shampoo stood up and whirled to face Akane, her hands clenched into barely restrained fists. "What you doing here? You mess up plan again!"
Akane got to her feet as well. "Of course I'm going to interfere with any plan that involves Ranma!"
"Except arranged marriages," Ranma mumbled.
"Is no problem," said Shampoo. "We just take you with Ranma again like last time."
"That doing I than easier being that saying you," moaned Razor.
"Okay, I have to know," said Akane. "WHY does he talk like that?"
Shampoo fretted. "Is ancient Amazon curse. He broke tribe law, so they force him to eat magic mushroom what make him do everything backwards. Now he have magic knife what break curse, but it broken. It only break curse on knife, not on person. So things with knife, he do forward, but everything else backward."
Akane nodded wistfully. "That makes sense. So he MEANT to throw that knife at me backwards."
Shampoo nodded in agreement. "We no is here to kill you. That have no honor no more."
Akane kept nodding, but her eyes darted down to the ruby-handled knife protruding from Razor's hair. That had to be the curse-breaking knife that allowed him to wield knives properly, if what Shampoo said was true. So if he didn't have it.... "Then what DO you plan to do with me and Ranma?" she asked.
"With you, nothing. You just witness. But Ranma - AIYA!" screamed Shampoo, diving in front of Akane as Akane dove for Razor's head. She brought her knee down on Akane's forearm, halting her hand inches from the handle of the knife. "You no can touch that! It kill you!"
Akane quickly jerked her hand back. "What? Are you serious?"
Shampoo nodded solemnly. "Is swear. Knife break curse of one what touches it, but if you no have curse, curse of LIFE be extinguish."
"That's completely ridiculous," scoffed Akane.
"If you no believe, then touch," offered Shampoo. "But when you dead, no say Shampoo not warn you."
"Fine!" said Akane. She backed away from the Amazon pair and pulled Ranma up into a sitting position. "Ranma, wake up! You've got to grab Razor's knife! Without it, he can't fight!"
Shampoo quickly grabbed Razor and started to shake him. "Fall asleep, stupid! You want let Ranma beat you?"
"Hey, I'M the one who poisoned him!" Akane shouted.
"You fight all Ranma battles for him?"
"Do you make Razor fight all of yours for you?" Akane retorted.
Shampoo abruptly let go of Razor and stood up. "That one challenge! Shampoo no care honor no more! I kill you!"
"So, it's true," Akane said with just a touch of disdain. "You use violence to solve all of your problems."
Shampoo sneered angrily and stamped a foot in disgust. "You do too," she said sourly.
"I do not!" shouted Akane. She smacked Ranma's face several times. "Wake up already!"
"Cut it out, Gorilla Girl," mumbled Ranma.
Akane barely managed to restrain herself from knocking him back into unconsciousness.
"You like rude Ranma?" Shampoo asked casually. "You let us take him, we make him no more rude."
"Make him...?" Akane gasped. "So you ARE the one who's been messing with Ranma's mind!"
"You no like? Maybe is because Ranma not want too, too violent girl anymore."
"What are you talking about?" Akane asked, more flustered than before. "What exactly are you doing to Ranma, and what does it have to do with me?"
Shampoo smiled slyly. "You find out. Then we have to erase your memory again."
"That's what you think," groaned Ranma. He sat up at last. "Nobody's erasing my memory!"
"We see about that!" returned Shampoo. She pulled Razor to his feet and pushed him forward. "Use poison again! Make them both sleep!"
Razor nodded. "Dangerous too much being it. Antidote no more having I." A pair of knives appeared in his hands as if by magic. "Instead, fighting must we."
"Not a good idea," said Ranma as he stood up. "I've got this thing about dirty tricks... when people use them on me, I get really pissed off. And you don't want to fight me when I'm pissed off."
"Of wanting matter not being this," replied Razor. "Orders being this."
"What are your orders?" asked Akane. "Just to bring us to Cologne?"
Razor shook his head. "Indeed."
Akane shrugged. "Well, in that case -" She winced and rubbed her temple. "Ow!"
"What's wrong?" asked Ranma.
"I don't know. It feels like a headache I didn't know was gone has just come back."
Ranma quickly gave up trying to understand what she was talking about. "Are you gonna be okay?"
"I think so," replied Akane. "It didn't hurt. It was just a shock."
"So, what were you about to say?"
She shook her head. "I can't remember. I feel really weird."
Shampoo fumed. "Forget what stupid girl want say! We supposed to fight now!"
The tension loomed like a physical presence as Shampoo and Razor readied their weapons, while Akane prepared to meet their charge head-on. Everyone waited for Ranma to take his stance, as once all four of them were ready, the great battle would begin.
Ranma held up a hand. "No, Shampoo. I think I know what Akane was going to say. We don't have to fight."
The bonbori lowered. "We don't?"
"Cologne obviously wants something from us, and we've got a few questions for her as well. So why don't we all just go together? No fighting, no sleep poison, no tricks."
Shampoo blinked in surprise. "Go together? No fighting?"
Razor gave it a bit of thought and stowed his knives. "Good to me sounding that idea."
Shampoo turned to stare at him, then at Ranma, and finally at Akane, who seemed confused but willing to go along with Ranma's idea. "We no fight?"
"A little slow on the uptake today?" teased Ranma. "We're all going to the same place, so why make a big deal out of it?"
Shampoo seemed to be on the verge of arguing, but realization dawned almost immediately. "Oh, right! We no fight!" She clapped and leapt forward to wrap her arm around Ranma's elbow. "We go together now, yes?"
Akane snapped out of her dazed trance and quickly claimed Ranma's other arm. "We're ALL going."
Shampoo sighed. "Yes, you come too. Razor, stay behind."
Razor dutifully turned around and led the way out of the alley.
"He doesn't walk backwards," Ranma noted.
"He not have eyes in back of head," replied Shampoo.
Akane, meanwhile, had other things to worry about. "What was that feeling just now?" she wondered. "And why do I suddenly feel so... stupid?" She felt sick to her stomach at the thought... or had Razor's poison affected her as well? But she didn't feel sleepy... which meant that there was something else wrong with her. She wouldn't jeopardize the situation by mentioning it, but once they'd figured out what Cologne and her employees were up to, she'd get to the bottom of whatever it was. There was too much going on in her life lately to allow any more strangeness to creep in.
*************************************************
"I give up," announced Gosunkugi as he took the mask down from the wall. "That pin's just gone." He pulled the doll out of its hiding place and stared dumbly at it. There, sticking out of the doll's forehead, was the white-headed pin. He blinked at it as if that would make the offending object disappear. "Well, that explains why Akane suddenly became so intelligent. I guess the pin got lodged in the mask last time I hid the doll in it." He sighed in relief and pulled the pin out. "Well, no harm done, I suppose. I don't think she suspected anything."
A hand plucked the doll from his fingers. "So, you play with dolls?" asked a deep voice.
Gosunkugi shrieked and pressed his back to the wall, trying to shrink away from the menacing figure.
His assailant looked down at the doll, then held it up to Gosunkugi's face. "Tell me where she is."
"Why do you want to know -?"
"Just tell me!" Thick fingers gouged into the doll's stomach.
"Don't do that!" shouted Gosunkugi. "You'll hurt her!"
"It's just a doll!" snapped the other. "If it means that much to you, tell me where she is!"
"She's at the Cat Café!" Gosunkugi shouted, grabbing the doll back from its captor before it could be permanently damaged. "But it won't do you any good to know," he continued confidently.
"We'll see about that." The figure swept out of the house, slamming the door behind itself.
