Disclaimer: YnM is not mine, it belongs to Matsushita Yoko. As usual, all standard disclaimers apply. Enjoy. ü

Kurosaki Hisoka

#2 take me in your arms –- bind me to you

"Tell me about that dream again, Hisoka."

Hisoka paused, spooning a bite of cherry pie in his mouth. When Tsuzuki insisted that his partner come over for their day off, he felt he needed to bring something. Hence, the pastry. He knew the effect these things had on him: he'd gone wild with joy.

"It's just…"

He looked around him. Tsuzuki's apartment was always so nice to be in. while the place was always incredibly messy, it was warm and had a lot of character. Strangely, the place wasn't the usual multiple colors it used to be. Now the walls and furniture were all painted deep red, a smoky, burning crimson. It made him feel…strange.

But he still had a feeling of safeness here. Like home. Or rather, what home should have felt like, instead of that dark room with a lock on the door and the echo of his mother's voice spitting out his name, shaking with disgust.

"I couldn't understand it. That—that thing asked me what I wanted. What I really wanted. Then it just laughed and then…"

"What you wanted?" He tilted his head to the side curiously.

"Yes…well, I…" He had a sudden realization. "I didn't say anything but it just *knew*".

And blushed furiously.

"What do you want?" Tsuzuki had taken on a delicious smile. His eyes went bright and mysterious.

"I…Tsuzuki.." He felt blundering and embarrassed. Tsuzuki was looking at him like he knew all his secrets. He leaned forward and held him by the collar of his sweater. Hisoka was suddenly afraid; thinking of Muraki under the sakura tree.

"Do you want *this*?" Tsuzuki whispered in his ear.

Before he could say anything, he cupped his face with both hands and kissed him.

It was so sudden. Hisoka's senses were completely assaulted. Tsuzuki's lips were soft and slightly chapped and he could breathe the shamoo-ey smell of his hair. His lips softened against his: his mouth was hot and syrupy sweet. Unbridled emotion rushed into him. It was pure and warm; I love you 'Soka-chan and he felt faint., as if he was falling.

As Tsuzuki carried him to his huge soft bed, Hisoka clung to him desperately. He was feverish and needy at that moment, feeling the rush of blood and the tingling of his skin. And, as his belt was unbuckled and dropped to the floor, so utterly afraid.

He was blinded by this cocktail of love, passion and fear. Eyes bright with tears, he reached out and touched him on the cheek.

I'm in love with you, he wanted to say. But I need to be reminded that you love me too…and that you would never, ever…

"Tsuzuki, I…I'm scared." He couldn't remove the tremble in his voice.

His eyes gazed quietly on Hisoka's glowing green embers. The younger shinigami felt a feeling of strange softness and vulnerability, yet at the same time completely safe. Tsuzuki's lips parted and his voice seemed faraway, as if from the pinnacle of a mountain or from the bottom of a well.

"It's all right to be afraid. But I'm here and I'm in love with you and I'd never hurt you. Never." Touché.

He kissed him on the neck, burning. Hisoka felt the softness of the pillows around them. One hand moved inside his clothes, the other stroked his wheat-colored hair.

As he was lost in Tsuzuki's arms and his kiss, his fingers dug into that firm flesh and tears filled his eyes. He was being let down; he was being undressed. Around them, time seemed to slow down. Waves of pleasure were coming over him. For a single captivating moment, he thought he would die of this ecstasy.

Ah, he reminded himself as Tsuzuki readied to mount him. Of course not.

I'm already dead.