A/N: Yes, yes, I'm baaaaaaaack! This chapter is somewhat important to the story-line…more happens to Sirius and Savannah (well, not more, but you'll see!) Just keep reading and PLEEEEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEEEEE review!!! Hehe. I'm getting a little over-excited if you couldn't tell! Well, that's all I really have to say for this chapter. Thanx to all of those who reviewed already! Keep it up and I'll keep updating (my motivation is YOU GUYS!)
Disclaimer: See previous chapters…
MEMORIES
CHAPTER 15: 'Til I Can Make It On My Own
Written by ByeByeBirdie (Formally known as Foxy)
About a month and a half later, Christmas came. Allie had her reunion just like she promised, and even though Sirius was trying to back out of it considering he did not want to see Savannah now that she was dating Daniel, Allie showed up at his house one day and refused to leave until he said he'd come. So he pretty much figured he had no choice.
So on December 22, Sirius, Savannah and Lily showed up at Allie's Aunt Kris and Uncle Jackson's mansion early afternoon. James, Kaitlynne, Remus, and Peter were planning on arriving later that evening
"So are we sharing rooms?" Savannah asked Allie when she arrived with her luggage.
Allie chuckled. "You've obviously never seen this place. There are about fifteen bedrooms in the house so we'll all get our own, each with its own bathroom plus three other bathrooms in the house and two kitchens, a living room, a sitting room, a conservatory, a library, a lounge, an indoor pool, a tennis court, an outdoor pool, a lake, four balconies, and three garages. I swear if their house wasn't blue, it could be the White House."
Savannah's mouth hung open in complete shock. "Can I live here for the rest of my life?"
Allie laughed. "Yeah, but talk about rent."
They both laughed as they drove up to the front of the house, where two butlers came out to grab Savannah's bags, and behind them were Lily and Sirius.
"Lily!!" Savannah squealed, as she ran up to her and gave her a huge hug. "I haven't seen you since the wedding!"
Lily laughed as she returned the hug, watching Sirius from the corner of her eye and she could tell he was feeling a little uncomfortable.
"Hello, Savannah," he said, very formally.
"Hello, Sirius," she replied with a slight nod.
"We are going to have so much fun!" Allie said, following them all into the house. They all watched Savannah's mouth drop as she walked in and saw how damn big the frickin' mansion was.
"Oh…my…God," she said breathlessly. "That's it, I'm never leaving."
They all laughed. "I'll show you your room," Allie said, leading her to the rounded stairs in front of them all.
Sirius sighed, once she was out of earshot, and Lily noticed this. They headed out to the flower garden off to the side. "What's wrong, Si?"
"Why did I come here?"
Lily sighed. "Because you know how much this means to Allie and the rest of us. Savannah's just one person, Sirius. Please don't ruin this just because she ran off with that back-stabbing jerk, Daniel."
"You had to mention it, didn't you…"
"It was going to be mentioned at some point."
"I know…but I want to be the one to love Savannah…not Daniel," he said, with another sigh.
I wanna be the one
The one who makes you feel something real
The one and only one
The one who gets down deep—plays for keeps
I wanna be the one
The one who talks it through—listens to you
Please let me be the one
The one who truly knows you—just let me show you
Lily sighed and looked up at him. "You are the one who loves her, Si."
"No, I'm not the one…I'm just an outsider looking in."
Lily looked up at him with a sympathetic smile on her face. "Trust me, I'm cheering you on. But, if I know Savannah, which I do, I know she'll bring him up a thousand times, so get ready to grit our teeth and try to bear it."
"Why are you so goddamned positive?"
Lily sighed. "I'm not sure."
"No new boyfriend you haven't told me about?"
Lily laughed. "No way."
"And why not? You're everything a guy could want."
"I haven't said I haven't been asked out. I just don't have a boyfriend."
"So you've dated?"
Lily paused. "Well…no."
Sirius chuckled. "That's not a surprise."
"What's that supposed to mean?" she snapped.
"I'm not stupid, you know," he started.
"Could've fooled me."
"Hey!" he said laughing. "Anyway, it's obvious that you haven't dated because you still love James."
Lily closed her eyes and opened them taking a deep breath in and out. "No, Sirius. It's because I loved James that it's so hard to start dating again," she said, frowning depressingly. Thinking about it him made it all much more unbearable, and she was on the verge of crying although she didn't really know why she felt the need to cry right then. Maybe it was thinking about the Holidays…
"Aw, come here, Lily-Bean," Sirius said, putting his arm around her. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned anything. I'm just trying to get off the subject of me and Savannah."
Lily smiled at him. "You know…she chose the wrong guy. I don't know what she sees in Daniel…and why she's forgetting all of your good qualities."
"I kissed another girl. Is that one of my good qualities?"
Lily laughed. "No, but everything else about you is charming."
"Yeah, but Savannah would rather date a sleazeball that didn't cheat on her that doesn't have great qualities, than an ex-boyfriend who kissed another girl with perfect qualities. Unfortunately, that's the Savannah I know."
"And that's the Savannah we'll all know…"
"Life's a bitch."
"Yeah…and then you die."
But somehow, dying didn't seem so terrible at that moment, though they were both unwilling to admit it.
Okay, well maybe dying was stretching it a little…crumbling into a tight ball and being left alone for life—that sounded more reasonable…
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
That night, they all had a late dinner to which their Christmas week began.
"Okay, besides Remus and Kaitlynne and Allie and Josh," Peter started, "I haven't heard much about the rest of your love lives. What's going on in that department?"
Savannah smiled and Sirius, Lily, and James cringed. "Well, more than a month ago, Daniel and I started seeing each other more and more often."
"Of course you did," Sirius mumbled so that only Lily heard who couldn't help smirking.
"Daniel Marx??" he exclaimed. "I was obviously in Norway for way to long!"
"Wish I was there right about now," Sirius muttered again, and Lily smirked again. James looked over at her in confusion.
"What about you three?" Peter asked Sirius, Lily, and James, who pretended they didn't hear.
"Guys?" Savannah said.
"Nope," Sirius replied, very interested in his plate.
"Nope," Lily replied, avoiding eye contact with anyone.
"Nope," James answered, picking up his wineglass and ignoring everyone else.
Savannah was staring at Sirius by now and the rest of them were shifting uncomfortably in their seats.
"Oh," Peter replied, realizing he had touched on an irritable subject.
"And I'm fine, thank you," Lily added to everyone who was staring at her as if she was crazy not be dating anyone. "I'm just been so damn busy lately, that I haven't had much time to go out and meet people."
"What about Andy's friends?" Savannah asked. Sirius and James glared at her.
Lily laughed, looking at James and Sirius' faces, but Savannah thought she was laughing at her. How could she be so oblivious? Is Daniel breaking up her memory in a way? Lily couldn't help but think.
"No way," Lily replied. "They're good friends, but they're friends only," she said firmly staring right at James with a mean look on her face, to which she shook off a few seconds later.
"So…um…oh! Peter moved in last week," Sirius said randomly, to break the tension.
"When that follows the question about people's love lives, it makes it sounds like you two are gay," James pointed out.
They all burst into laughter. "No, we are not gay; we're just roommates," Peter cleared up, and they all laughed again.
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
The next two days were full of fun. They played Quidditch, went to Diagon Alley, went in the hot tub, and played pool so far and they were all panning on doing a lot more that week. Also, Christmas was arriving.
On Christmas Eve, Allie's country club was having a formal in their ballroom, and they were all invited. They danced, they ate, they laughed, and they had a great time. Getting dressed up for a Christmas event made them all feel even more excited about spending the holidays together. In fact, it was as if they were all going to another Yule Ball, like back in Hogwarts. Well…that's how they all ended up looking at it.
Late Christmas Eve, around eleven-forty-five, Savannah sat, hugging her knees, outside on the balcony over the lake underneath the stars with a wineglass in one hand, still in her formal dress. She looked over the lake and at the bright stars with no emotions. She thought that she'd be happy that Christmas was so close, but she didn't feel a thing and started wondering if maybe her life wasn't as perfect as she thought it was.
"Lily?" she heard a voice cry from behind her. Sirius suddenly appeared beside her and Savannah looked up at him.
"Hello," Savannah answered formally.
"Oh…I thought you were Lily."
"No, I think Lily is downstairs still with Kaitlynne and Allie."
"What are you doing up here then?"
Savannah paused. "I just wanted to be alone for a little while."
"Any particular reason you want to be alone?"
Savannah sighed. "No."
"Are you sure?"
Savannah sighed again with a slight smile, realizing she couldn't get anything by Sirius. "Well…no, I'm not sure," she replied. "Have a seat. I don't bite."
"I'm not so sure about that."
Savannah grinned and Sirius hesitated before sitting on the railing of the balcony. "Sirius…have you ever thought that your life was absolutely perfect and that nothing could make you change your mind?"
Sirius grinned in the dark, thinking about his life with her. "Yes."
"Well…I thought I had it perfect. I mean I thought that my life couldn't get any better. I thought I had everything…but now I'm not so sure."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I have a great job with an agent I love, and a beautiful place to live, excellent friends, and a wonderful boyfriend," she started, and Sirius cringed. "But…I'm not so sure if that's everything I want."
Then want me… Sirius couldn't help but think.
I'll need time
To get you off of my mind
And I may sometimes bother you
Try to be in touch with you
Even ask too much of you from time to time
He said, instead, "What else is there that you could possibly want and need?"
"When I was ten, I always thought I'd grow up and marry the most perfect man before I was twenty-three. I always thought I'd be pregnant by the age of twenty-four and end up having two more kids. I even planned out my wedding right down to the church I'd be married in and the ring I would receive and I had the kids' names and I'd have the perfect setting for a house and I'd just be a housewife while me husband worked happily. And now…it's different. Nothing is the way I wanted it to turn out. I'm nowhere near getting married; hell, I'm nowhere near finding the absolute perfect boyfriend. And I'm sure as hell nowhere near having a child!! I have a job and even though it's tons of fun, I never expected myself working. It's just that…everything's changed since I was that little ten-year-old girl thinking that nothing could ruin my dream."
Sirius smiled at her. "And nothing will," he ended.
"Then why am I sitting out here in the freezing cold with a long green dress on and a glass of wine in my hand, not married with no kids?"
"Because your dream is going to come true a few years after planned," he remarked with a smile. "Savannah you're too…smart and funny and beautiful and modest and sarcastic and…perfect to not have that dream come true." Savannah blushed as Sirius continued, "You know how I know this? Because I know the real you. I know everything about your past and your present. And I feel as if I know your future, also." I just wish I could be a part of it…
Now and then,
Lord, you know I'll need a friend
Til I get used to losing you
Let me keep on using you
Til I can make it on my own
Savannah blushed again while looking at the ground with a smile. "Thank you, Sirius. Thank you for everything," she said emotionally. "You're different than everyone I know. You were always the one who made me feel special. You were always the one who knew what to say. You were always there…and I don't think I ever thanked you for that. So…thank you."
"Don't thank me…thank yourself."
"For what?"
"For being you," he said with a gentle smile.
Savannah looked up at him and gave him a weak smile.
For a few seconds, an awkward tension filled the air, which they both noticed.
"Um…It's getting cold out," Savannah said to break the awkwardness. "I think I'm going to go back in now," she continued, as she stood up and started walking in through the French doors.
I'll get by
But no matter how I try
There'll be times you know I'll call
Chances are my tears will fall
And I'll have no pride at all from time to time
"Why him?" Sirius whispered to Savannah into the dead of the night.
Savannah half-turned around. "Wh-what?"
"Why Daniel?" Sirius repeated, looking at the moon and avoiding eye-contact with Savannah.
Savannah was definitely taken off guard. "Why…uh…not?"
"I mean, there are zillions of people in this world. Why'd you choose him?"
Savannah looked over at him, who was still staring into the night up at the moon and the stars. "Do you mean why him…and not you?" Savannah deciphered, saying it gently and slowly.
"I didn't say that."
"But you meant it."
Sirius hesitated and shut his eyes. Don't say anything, Sirius…don't say anything, he repeated in his head. Unfortunately, when he looked up into the vast sky, he couldn't help but open up.
"I know…" he whispered, tears suddenly filling up his eyes for some unknown, unexpected reason, which he wiped away quickly. "I-I don't know what else to say, Savannah…there's nothing else to say."
Savannah looked up at him at that moment and felt terribly guilty. And she suddenly had the urge to forgive and forget…until a picture of him and Georgette crept into the back of her mind. She realized she'd never forget…but maybe there was a possibility to forgive and trust him again.
"Sirius…I don't think I ever forgave you for what happened at the reunion."
"I know," Sirius said sullenly.
"No, I mean, I don't think I ever told you that I have forgiven you."
That took Sirius by total surprise. "Wh-what?"
"Yeah…I'm not sure if I've gone crazy or I'm just plain dumb, but I do forgive you and I know I'll be able to trust you again someday. But just to clear things up…I won't forget."
Sirius smiled in the dark, unbeknownst to Savannah. "You have no idea what this means to me. I mean…I've waited for a long time to hear you say that. I'm just glad you finally have. Thank you, Savannah. Thanks for everything," he said with a smile. She smiled back at him.
Sirius continued, "And I figured you'd never forget. I mean, I don't plan on you coming crying to me to take you back in the future, but all I've ever wanted to hear from you is that you finally forgive me. Just to know you forgive me is enough right now."
"Is it?"
"Is it what?"
"Enough."
He looked over at her and flashed her one of his prize-winning smiles. "Yes."
"Why?"
He glanced over at her and explained, "Because as long as you have forgiven me, then I don't have to feel so terrible anymore. I've been living these past months with a feeling of guilt hanging over my head just waiting until I could find a way to accept it. Well…I think it's my time to accept it. Just…just don't ever leave for four months without writing to me again."
She laughed. "I won't…I missed talking to you."
"I've missed talking to you, too…"
But they say
Tomorrow will be a brighter day
But until then, I'll lean on you
That's all I have to do
'Til I can make it on my own
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
"Merry Christmas!!" someone cried while jumping up and down on Lily's bed early the next morning.
"Mmmm," Lily groaned, rolling over to see who it was. "Sirius!" she whined.
"Yes, m'dear?"
"It's seven o'clock in the morning and you're jumping up and down on my bed. There's something wrong with this picture."
"Yeah…the fact that you're not up yet!!" he cried flopping on the bed beside her. He grabbed her blanket and pulled it over his head. "I'm not leaving until you get up."
"HEY! I'm naked under here," she teased.
"You ARE!?" Sirius cried, scrambling for the covers, only to see that she had a long, flannel pink nightgown on. "Hey, you tricked me!"
"I know, but it was very amusing."
"Hmph. Okay, now to be fair, you have to take off the nightgown."
Lily laughed. "Nice try."
"Damnit! Why does that always work with other women and not you?"
"Because I'm not blonde, I don't have blue eyes, and I don't have large breasts," she teased.
"Fine, but because you're not blonde and you don't have blue eyes and…wait, you do too have large-"
"Don't finish that sentence!" Lily warned, and they both laughed.
"Well because you're not blonde and you don't have blue eyes—we'll just leave it at that—" he stated, which made them both laugh again, "—Then I might have to tickle you until you cry for mercy."
"NO!" she cried, trying to turn over, but unfortunately he grabbed her, pinned her to the bed and started tickling her, making her squeal and squirm.
"EEEEK!" she cried laughing. "Okay, you know if anyone walked in on us right now, it would not be a pretty pic-" she started before her door opened.
"Lil-" James said right on cue. "Whoa…okay obviously you two are very busy. I'll come back at another time," he teased.
Lily and Sirius laughed. "Sirius was just being a hyper, and pathetic, puppy torturing me from my sleeping rights and waiting for presents to be opened."
"PRESENTS!" Sirius cried, immediately jumping out of her bed and out of the door scurrying down the stairs.
"Okay, did he forget to take his Ritalin this morning?" Lily demanded to know, still in her bed fully covered by the blankets.
"Did you forget to wake up this morning?" James teased.
"And why are you up?? You're always the one who's trudging down the stairs at one in the afternoon wondering where your breakfast is."
James laughed. "Yes, but today is Christmas, and as Sirius would say 'PRESENTS!'" Both he and Lily laughed. "Anyway, you're the only one who's not up in this huge place so Sirius and I took the honors of waking you up."
"Seriously?? I'm the only one not up at seven o'clock in the morning!? What has this world come to!?"
James laughed and leaned against the doorframe comfortably. "C'mon, we're all waiting for you."
"Looks as if Sirius couldn't wait any longer," Lily teased.
"Okay, the clock's still ticking."
Lily groaned. "Fine, fine. I'm coming. Just give me a minute to get changed."
James nodded and slid down to the ground happily and just looked at her. "Okay."
Both of them paused. "JAMES!" Lily cried laughing. "Get out!"
He laughed. "Nah, I'm fine right here."
"Yeah, well I'm not fine with you right there."
"And since when have I ever listened to you?"
"Since about two seconds from now when I'm going to jump out of this bed and chase you down the stairs."
"Aw, wouldn't that be cute," he said laughing. "AAAGGGHHH!" he cried as Lily did just as she said she would.
"And stay down there!" she cried laughing after he took the steps two at a time.
"Yeah, I love you, too," he said sarcastically with a laugh.
"I never said I loved you," she said chuckling as she returned to her room.
"What kind of friend are you anyway!?" he cried up the stairs.
Lily reappeared at the top of the stairs. "The kind of friend who wants to change her clothes in private!"
"Do you need any help undressing!?" Sirius cried from behind James.
"No, I think I'll manage," Lily said with a chuckle.
"Are you sure??" Sirius cried louder.
Lily just laughed and said, "Go back to your breakfast, Si!"
"Damn her," both James and Sirius said before heading back to the kitchen.
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
Later that day after a simple breakfast and after opening all of their gifts and after a special lunch, Savannah, Lily, and Kaitlynne headed up to their room to change into warmer clothes so they could all go outside and go for a sleigh ride and go ice-skating and then to the Three Broomsticks for hot chocolate and butterbeer.
"Hey, what's that, Savannah?" Kaitlynne asked pointing to a box that was in front of her door.
Savannah shrugged. "I don't know."
"Open it," Lily suggested. "It has your name on it," Lily said pointing to the name on the wrapping paper.
Savannah shrugged and unwrapped the tiny black box. She opened it and all three girls gasped. Inside the box was a real gold necklace with a genuine diamond dangling in the middle from Tiffany's Jewelers. It was obviously very expensive, they could all tell, and yet none of them knew who it came from.
"Who sent it?" Kaitlynne asked, still in complete awe.
"I-I don't know. There was no letter," Savannah said with confusion.
"But…wow," was all Lily was able to say. "I mean…wow."
"Yeah…'wow' pretty much sums it all up," Savannah said breathlessly.
"Do you think it's from Daniel?" Lily asked.
Savannah shook her head. "No, he gave me the expensive watch, remember? No way would he spend another six hundred galleons on a necklace for me."
"But then…who would it be from?" Kaitlynne asked bewildered.
Savannah shook her head. "I-I don't know. Maybe my parents or my brother or a cousin or my grandmother or my aunt and uncle."
"What about a friend?" Lily asked.
"Well, what other friend? I mean, Josh is the only other person I could think of," Savannah said laughing. "And the day he buys me expensive jewelry is the day Sirius forgets how to tell a joke."
They all laughed. "I-I just can't believe it," Kaitlynne said shaking her head. "I mean, who would buy you such an expensive gift and not tell you who they are?"
"I don't know…but I'd sure like to find out," Savannah replied.
A/N: Hmm…who could have given her the necklace? Well, you'll soon find out to the mysterious jewelry! Anyway, it seems that Lily and James are hitting it off once again…well, you'll just have to see how that works out! I know was kinda short, but the next chapter is longer (and a lot more…er…interesting!!) REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!! (do I have to keep on repeating myself…because I will!)
Oh those songs: "The One" By Lonestar and "Til I Can Make It On My Own" by Billy Gillman
