Author's Note: This is our first fanfic (Yes, we know, it's EVERYONE'S
first fanfic), but we don't really care if you're mean. In fact, be
brutally honest. If you hate it, we want to know. If you love it, then...
well, there's probably something wrong with your head. This first chapter
is intensely short, but it's a semi-intro. Please read and review, and make
us joyous little fangirls!
-Aye and Twitch
Postscript: If you catch any spelling/grammar/punctuation/format errors, do tell! We'll give you a mini hobbit plushie if you do!
-Aye
'Twas the night of Bilbo Baggins' eleventy-first birthday, and Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took were fiddling around with Gandalf's fireworks. Unbeknownst to them, a pair of shadowy figures lurked behind them.
"Got the rope?" One whispered.
"Yeah, got the duct tape?" The other replied.
"Got it. OK, on one, two, three...GO!" Shouting, the two figures sprang forth, bound and gagged the hobbits, then retreated into the shadows, but not before watching a lit firework rocket off into the sky and explode.
"Ooo...sparkly!" they said in unison.
"MMPH!" cried Merry.
"Eh?" said the fist of the hobbitnappers.
"They're gagged, dumbass. They can't talk." Snapped the other.
"Then un-gag them!" said the first, cuffing her companion.
"But...it would damage their adorable hobbity mouths!"
"Fine, I'll do it." The first of them proceeded to do so, while muttering, "Wanker."
"What just happened?" Pippin yelped, "Who ARE you people?" The two shadowy figures stepped into the light.
"Ah, crap." Pippin muttered. "Fangirls..."
"Yep! Rabid fangirls, in fact!" the first one said.
"Yes, I am Twitch, and this is Aye the Guy."
"I'm not a guy!" Shrieked Aye.
"Yes you are!"
"Well, how can I be a fanGIRL if I'm a guy?"
"...Point."
"Er...right." Merry edged closer to Pippin.
"Aww, they're so cute together!" Twitch said.
"No, they're GAY."
"Oh yeah, I remember now!"
"I'm not gay! But he is." Merry protested indignantly, and poked Pippin.
"No I'm not, YOU are!"
"No."
"Yes."
"NO!"
"They're both gay." The fangirls nodded in solemn agreement. The hobbits hung their heads in shame and admittance.
"Maybe we can un-gay them." said Twitch.
"I shudder to think how." replied Aye.
"Well, if they're gay, are Frodo and Sam gay too?" questioned Twitch.
"Uh...no? Well, Sam maybe. Haven't you read the books?" Merry inquired.
"Oh, good! Then he's MINE!" Twitch said, rather rabidly.
"Ok. Well, then I get Merry and Pippin." Aye said, grinning.
"Get us?" the hobbits said fearfully.
"No! You can have Merry. But I get Pippin."
"NO! I get Pip!"
"MINE!"
"MINE!!" a screaming match ensued. The hobbits took this as their cue to run away. Far, far away. A few minutes later.
"Dude! They're...gone!"
"Shit!"
Ok, we know it's short, but that's too bad. Read and Review now, or you might wake up dead tomorrow... There will be more chapters later, probably after New Years.
-Aye and Twitch
Postscript: If you catch any spelling/grammar/punctuation/format errors, do tell! We'll give you a mini hobbit plushie if you do!
-Aye
'Twas the night of Bilbo Baggins' eleventy-first birthday, and Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took were fiddling around with Gandalf's fireworks. Unbeknownst to them, a pair of shadowy figures lurked behind them.
"Got the rope?" One whispered.
"Yeah, got the duct tape?" The other replied.
"Got it. OK, on one, two, three...GO!" Shouting, the two figures sprang forth, bound and gagged the hobbits, then retreated into the shadows, but not before watching a lit firework rocket off into the sky and explode.
"Ooo...sparkly!" they said in unison.
"MMPH!" cried Merry.
"Eh?" said the fist of the hobbitnappers.
"They're gagged, dumbass. They can't talk." Snapped the other.
"Then un-gag them!" said the first, cuffing her companion.
"But...it would damage their adorable hobbity mouths!"
"Fine, I'll do it." The first of them proceeded to do so, while muttering, "Wanker."
"What just happened?" Pippin yelped, "Who ARE you people?" The two shadowy figures stepped into the light.
"Ah, crap." Pippin muttered. "Fangirls..."
"Yep! Rabid fangirls, in fact!" the first one said.
"Yes, I am Twitch, and this is Aye the Guy."
"I'm not a guy!" Shrieked Aye.
"Yes you are!"
"Well, how can I be a fanGIRL if I'm a guy?"
"...Point."
"Er...right." Merry edged closer to Pippin.
"Aww, they're so cute together!" Twitch said.
"No, they're GAY."
"Oh yeah, I remember now!"
"I'm not gay! But he is." Merry protested indignantly, and poked Pippin.
"No I'm not, YOU are!"
"No."
"Yes."
"NO!"
"They're both gay." The fangirls nodded in solemn agreement. The hobbits hung their heads in shame and admittance.
"Maybe we can un-gay them." said Twitch.
"I shudder to think how." replied Aye.
"Well, if they're gay, are Frodo and Sam gay too?" questioned Twitch.
"Uh...no? Well, Sam maybe. Haven't you read the books?" Merry inquired.
"Oh, good! Then he's MINE!" Twitch said, rather rabidly.
"Ok. Well, then I get Merry and Pippin." Aye said, grinning.
"Get us?" the hobbits said fearfully.
"No! You can have Merry. But I get Pippin."
"NO! I get Pip!"
"MINE!"
"MINE!!" a screaming match ensued. The hobbits took this as their cue to run away. Far, far away. A few minutes later.
"Dude! They're...gone!"
"Shit!"
Ok, we know it's short, but that's too bad. Read and Review now, or you might wake up dead tomorrow... There will be more chapters later, probably after New Years.
