A/N: Before I begin this chapter, I just wanted to say that I hope I'm
getting the characters across the right way. I didn't mean to make Lily
so...well, not totally whiny, but just...dramatic, I guess. As the story
progresses, I think she'll be more fun. And James, well, he's supposed to
be the heartbreaker at Hogwarts. He has a bad boy sort of reputation and
always gets into trouble. He's the boy that your parents would say
'absolutely not' about. Anyway, I just wanted to make sure everyone
understood that...if you did already, sorry for rambling, I seem to do that
in all my notes...
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Chapter 5- Thoughts of Truth
Lily Evans sat in the common room, her face hidden behind a book. She wasn't actually reading. Oh no, she was just staring at the words, remembering the previous night and how she had felt when James had kissed her. All other thoughts had fled out of her mind, and he was all that mattered now. She didn't care about anything else, anyone else. But was it going to work? She didn't feel like thinking about that part of the deal.
Sighing, she closed her book and tossed it onto a nearby table. That's it! Why do I keep coming back to what my parents are going to think, and how this will all affect my future? She rolled her eyes. Screw my future! For once in my life, I'm going to do exactly what *I* want to do, and I don't even care what will come of it!
She rose from her seat, smiling to herself. Her heart was filled with a new determination, and she sustained that nothing, *nothing* would change her mind now.
@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@
"Prongs? Prongs!" Sirius waved his hand in front of James' face, trying in vain to get him to listen. Ever since last night, James had been staring, his eyes unfocused and his face dreamy. Sirius concluded that something had happened to him last night. He knew his friend well enough to know when there was a girl involved.
"Look! Lily in a bikini!" he yelled.
This made James look up. "Where?" his head swiveled in all directions, searching for Lily. Sirius watched his friend, shaking his head as he burst out laughing.
"Seeing as that caught your attention so quickly, I think I'm correct in assuming that something happened between you and Lily last night."
James' face split into a silly grin, in fact the same grin he had had after his kiss. "She's awesome, man. I thought I just, you know, had a crush on her. But when I kissed her I felt something more there. It was so...different than any other kiss. It wasn't just a kiss, it was the beginning of something good."
Sirius' eyes widened. "Whoa. Slow down. You're scaring me, old buddy. What are you trying to say?"
"I don't know." James screwed up his face, clueless as he was. "I really have no idea."
@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@
"Lily, would you mind telling me why you've looked as if you've been floating on cloud nine all day? I think your best friend has a right to know what's going on." Mary stood in front of her friend, making a point of folding her arms across her chest. She was looking very resolved on the fact that she wasn't leaving until she was given a proper answer.
Lily looked up from her trance, seemingly just beginning to realize that she was being spoken to. "Huh?" she asked. "Oh, right."
"And?" Mary tapped her foot to the ground impatiently, tugging on a strand of her dark hair.
"Well, I...." she sighed. "I kind of...had an...encounter with James last night."
Mary's blue eyes flickered with understanding. "You-You're involved with him now?" She had been wondering what was between the two of them since the Hogsmeade trip.
Lily's lips curved into a smile. "Something to that effect. I'm not sure though...." she trailed off, for the first time realizing that she hadn't spoken to James since the kiss. "I don't know what he's thinking...he kisses millions of girls...why would he think we had something? He's probably out with some other girl right now..."
"Lily," Mary replied softly, "this is why I didn't want you to get involved with him in the first place. He's...he's not exactly the most faithful person, and I don't think he's really looking for a lasting relationship at this point in life. Oh, Lils, please don't get depressed over this...there are other guys...besides, how would it work, anyway? You're parents wouldn't allow it, that's for sure, and what would you do then?"
"Screw my parents!" Lily yelled at the top of her lungs. She smiled to herself. That was something she had wanted to do for a very long time. However, she sobered visibly. "But you're right. I...I just felt something in the kiss. I doubt he did though, and I shouldn't even be thinking about it. It didn't mean anything. I'm not going to mention it anymore."
Mary smiled encouragingly. She really hadn't wanted to put Lily in a bad mood, she just didn't want her friend to get her hopes up. She had heard enough about James to know that he was perfectly capable of breaking Lily's heart. Her smile widened. "You know, you're right about the parents. I'm sick of worrying about it all, and whining about it to match. This year, everything is going to be perfect, and we're going to have fun. I don't want to hear another word out of your mouth about parents or futures, and I give you my word that you won't hear of it from me."
Lily smiled brightly, rising from her seat. "Yes ma'am." she said in a strong voice.
@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@
"Now mix your potions with your partner's, to form the finished Nerisitium potion." Professor Welch stood at the front of the classroom, hands on his hips and surveying the students' progress.
Nerisitium potion was sort of like a truth potion. It let you hear the innermost thoughts of a person.
Mary turned to Lily and whispered, "Stupid git. I can't stand that humungous nose. When I look at him, all I see is a nose with arms and legs." she screwed her own nose up in disgust, while Lily laughed quietly. She picked up her potion and dumped it into Mary's cauldron. The result was a bubbly, purple mixture.
"We'll be testing them now." his lips curled into a slightly evil smile. "Everyone will get their turn." At hearing this, most of the students looked up with wide eyes, afraid they might say something embarrassing. Lily was one of those. But I shouldn't care. I mean, I don't have anything to hide...do I?
To the Gryffindors' great relief, the Slytherins were to be first. Snape stood up, and under the supervision of Professor Welch, drank the allotted amount. His eyes flickered slightly and he began, in a flat, expressionless voice, "I don't really understand what's so unattractive about me, really I don't…but I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I pity myself. And I envy good-looking people, like Potter and his crew. Speaking of him, I caught him making out with a girl a week or so ago, and I was nice enough to not say anything to the teachers. I shouldn't have been, I mean, what Slytherin is nice to a Gryffindor…"
"Thank you Snape." The Professor said, quickly reversing the potion. He certainly didn't want to hear any more about James' habits or Snape's whining.
James laughed and said to Sirius, "I didn't know his thoughts were so…profound." They snickered.
The rest of the Slytherins went rather quickly. Some of the thoughts were quite interesting, and others were a bit inappropriate. It wasn't long before, to Lily's dismay, Professor Welch reached her table. Mary was to go before her.
"I'm worried." Her friend began, in that same emotionless, robotic voice. "About everything, not only myself, but Lily, and my family, and school…but I can't mention it to Lily, she has enough to worry about. We made a deal, we're going to have fun this year, so I think I'm going to talk to her tonight about how we're going to begin our fun…" it was then that she was interrupted. Some of the guys, upon hearing that she and Lily were planning to have 'fun' that year, put on smug grins.
Lily's heart dropped as she remembered that it was her turn. What if I say something about James? What will he think? Wait a minute, I shouldn't care about that… Her thoughts stopped momentarily as she drank the potion. She swallowed, and a tingling sensation came over her. She was aware, but yet unaware.
She heard her voice ring out, against her will. "I think too much, I'm getting a headache. I can't stop thinking about last night...but I don't know if he feels the same, and so now I'm worrying about that too. I don't know what to do, and I'm too scared to go up and ask him about it, because I don't want to be rejected. I dread going home, because..." she was stopped then, and as the potion wore off, she put a hand over her mouth. Oh my god. she could feel James' eyes on her back, but refused to turn and look at him. She settled for staring at her feet. I won't look behind me. And I can just avoid him for the rest of the year...yes, the whole year... She felt the heat rise in her cheeks as Welch moved on to Sirius.
"I tried so hard- and got so far- but in the end- it doesn't even matter...." Sirius' singing was somewhat less than enjoyable, and so Welch agreeably decided to stop his thoughts there. He was about to move on to James when he happened to glance down at his watch.
"Oh my, time to go!" he glanced at James and the rest of the Gryffindors who hadn't had a turn. "You got lucky. But next time, you'll be first..." However, nobody was really paying any attention to him, as they were already fleeing out the door.
@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@
That evening, Lily started up the stairs to her dorm quietly and still a little embarrassed about earlier. She stopped suddenly when she heard a voice from behind her.
"Lily," James began "I don't know exactly what you meant in Potions, and I'm not sure exactly what I'm feeling now, but- well, if I have any idea, I think I can say that we've got something here."
She turned slowly, and looked over at him. His chocolate eyes were gazing at her intently and his hair was all over his face. A strand of it fell into his eyes, making him (to Lily) appear even more cute, if possible. Her legs failed her, and she simply stood, returning his gaze. His outfit consisted of a pair of jeans, a white shirt, and a black leather jacket. He had obviously discarded his robe for unknown reasons. And how did he know that much about Muggle clothing?
When the full realization of what he meant hit her, she (out of instinct) threw her arms around his neck, pulling him into a close hug. He grinned and hugged her back, but she pulled away quickly, blushing and refusing to make eye contact.
"What are you saying James?" she asked quietly.
He stared back at her. "I want to give this a try- you know, you and me. I think it could go somewhere..."
She looked up at him then, her emerald green eyes running over his face. He looked serious, not like he was fooling with her. She didn't know what to say, and had never been involved in a relationship- not one she had chosen, anyway. And then Mary's earlier words rang through her head 'This year, everything is going to be perfect, and we're going to have fun...' Lily decided then that nothing else mattered, except what she wanted to do; she decided to follow her heart through this.
She smiled. "And with you, that's saying something...Okay, let's give it a try then..." he grinned at her, that same waywardly grin that she had learned to love in the past week. There was a long silence, where her eyes went back and forth over his face, and his simply watched her. She began to feel awkward. "Soo, what now?"
In answer, his grin widened and he raised his hands to her face, pulling her into a meaningful kiss.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: I hope you liked it! Thanks a whole lot for the reviews last chapter, I *really* do appreciate it! I love reading reviews (though I think every author does), they make me smile. Please review this chapter and give me your opinion!
~Emily~
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter 5- Thoughts of Truth
Lily Evans sat in the common room, her face hidden behind a book. She wasn't actually reading. Oh no, she was just staring at the words, remembering the previous night and how she had felt when James had kissed her. All other thoughts had fled out of her mind, and he was all that mattered now. She didn't care about anything else, anyone else. But was it going to work? She didn't feel like thinking about that part of the deal.
Sighing, she closed her book and tossed it onto a nearby table. That's it! Why do I keep coming back to what my parents are going to think, and how this will all affect my future? She rolled her eyes. Screw my future! For once in my life, I'm going to do exactly what *I* want to do, and I don't even care what will come of it!
She rose from her seat, smiling to herself. Her heart was filled with a new determination, and she sustained that nothing, *nothing* would change her mind now.
@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@
"Prongs? Prongs!" Sirius waved his hand in front of James' face, trying in vain to get him to listen. Ever since last night, James had been staring, his eyes unfocused and his face dreamy. Sirius concluded that something had happened to him last night. He knew his friend well enough to know when there was a girl involved.
"Look! Lily in a bikini!" he yelled.
This made James look up. "Where?" his head swiveled in all directions, searching for Lily. Sirius watched his friend, shaking his head as he burst out laughing.
"Seeing as that caught your attention so quickly, I think I'm correct in assuming that something happened between you and Lily last night."
James' face split into a silly grin, in fact the same grin he had had after his kiss. "She's awesome, man. I thought I just, you know, had a crush on her. But when I kissed her I felt something more there. It was so...different than any other kiss. It wasn't just a kiss, it was the beginning of something good."
Sirius' eyes widened. "Whoa. Slow down. You're scaring me, old buddy. What are you trying to say?"
"I don't know." James screwed up his face, clueless as he was. "I really have no idea."
@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@
"Lily, would you mind telling me why you've looked as if you've been floating on cloud nine all day? I think your best friend has a right to know what's going on." Mary stood in front of her friend, making a point of folding her arms across her chest. She was looking very resolved on the fact that she wasn't leaving until she was given a proper answer.
Lily looked up from her trance, seemingly just beginning to realize that she was being spoken to. "Huh?" she asked. "Oh, right."
"And?" Mary tapped her foot to the ground impatiently, tugging on a strand of her dark hair.
"Well, I...." she sighed. "I kind of...had an...encounter with James last night."
Mary's blue eyes flickered with understanding. "You-You're involved with him now?" She had been wondering what was between the two of them since the Hogsmeade trip.
Lily's lips curved into a smile. "Something to that effect. I'm not sure though...." she trailed off, for the first time realizing that she hadn't spoken to James since the kiss. "I don't know what he's thinking...he kisses millions of girls...why would he think we had something? He's probably out with some other girl right now..."
"Lily," Mary replied softly, "this is why I didn't want you to get involved with him in the first place. He's...he's not exactly the most faithful person, and I don't think he's really looking for a lasting relationship at this point in life. Oh, Lils, please don't get depressed over this...there are other guys...besides, how would it work, anyway? You're parents wouldn't allow it, that's for sure, and what would you do then?"
"Screw my parents!" Lily yelled at the top of her lungs. She smiled to herself. That was something she had wanted to do for a very long time. However, she sobered visibly. "But you're right. I...I just felt something in the kiss. I doubt he did though, and I shouldn't even be thinking about it. It didn't mean anything. I'm not going to mention it anymore."
Mary smiled encouragingly. She really hadn't wanted to put Lily in a bad mood, she just didn't want her friend to get her hopes up. She had heard enough about James to know that he was perfectly capable of breaking Lily's heart. Her smile widened. "You know, you're right about the parents. I'm sick of worrying about it all, and whining about it to match. This year, everything is going to be perfect, and we're going to have fun. I don't want to hear another word out of your mouth about parents or futures, and I give you my word that you won't hear of it from me."
Lily smiled brightly, rising from her seat. "Yes ma'am." she said in a strong voice.
@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@
"Now mix your potions with your partner's, to form the finished Nerisitium potion." Professor Welch stood at the front of the classroom, hands on his hips and surveying the students' progress.
Nerisitium potion was sort of like a truth potion. It let you hear the innermost thoughts of a person.
Mary turned to Lily and whispered, "Stupid git. I can't stand that humungous nose. When I look at him, all I see is a nose with arms and legs." she screwed her own nose up in disgust, while Lily laughed quietly. She picked up her potion and dumped it into Mary's cauldron. The result was a bubbly, purple mixture.
"We'll be testing them now." his lips curled into a slightly evil smile. "Everyone will get their turn." At hearing this, most of the students looked up with wide eyes, afraid they might say something embarrassing. Lily was one of those. But I shouldn't care. I mean, I don't have anything to hide...do I?
To the Gryffindors' great relief, the Slytherins were to be first. Snape stood up, and under the supervision of Professor Welch, drank the allotted amount. His eyes flickered slightly and he began, in a flat, expressionless voice, "I don't really understand what's so unattractive about me, really I don't…but I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I pity myself. And I envy good-looking people, like Potter and his crew. Speaking of him, I caught him making out with a girl a week or so ago, and I was nice enough to not say anything to the teachers. I shouldn't have been, I mean, what Slytherin is nice to a Gryffindor…"
"Thank you Snape." The Professor said, quickly reversing the potion. He certainly didn't want to hear any more about James' habits or Snape's whining.
James laughed and said to Sirius, "I didn't know his thoughts were so…profound." They snickered.
The rest of the Slytherins went rather quickly. Some of the thoughts were quite interesting, and others were a bit inappropriate. It wasn't long before, to Lily's dismay, Professor Welch reached her table. Mary was to go before her.
"I'm worried." Her friend began, in that same emotionless, robotic voice. "About everything, not only myself, but Lily, and my family, and school…but I can't mention it to Lily, she has enough to worry about. We made a deal, we're going to have fun this year, so I think I'm going to talk to her tonight about how we're going to begin our fun…" it was then that she was interrupted. Some of the guys, upon hearing that she and Lily were planning to have 'fun' that year, put on smug grins.
Lily's heart dropped as she remembered that it was her turn. What if I say something about James? What will he think? Wait a minute, I shouldn't care about that… Her thoughts stopped momentarily as she drank the potion. She swallowed, and a tingling sensation came over her. She was aware, but yet unaware.
She heard her voice ring out, against her will. "I think too much, I'm getting a headache. I can't stop thinking about last night...but I don't know if he feels the same, and so now I'm worrying about that too. I don't know what to do, and I'm too scared to go up and ask him about it, because I don't want to be rejected. I dread going home, because..." she was stopped then, and as the potion wore off, she put a hand over her mouth. Oh my god. she could feel James' eyes on her back, but refused to turn and look at him. She settled for staring at her feet. I won't look behind me. And I can just avoid him for the rest of the year...yes, the whole year... She felt the heat rise in her cheeks as Welch moved on to Sirius.
"I tried so hard- and got so far- but in the end- it doesn't even matter...." Sirius' singing was somewhat less than enjoyable, and so Welch agreeably decided to stop his thoughts there. He was about to move on to James when he happened to glance down at his watch.
"Oh my, time to go!" he glanced at James and the rest of the Gryffindors who hadn't had a turn. "You got lucky. But next time, you'll be first..." However, nobody was really paying any attention to him, as they were already fleeing out the door.
@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@
That evening, Lily started up the stairs to her dorm quietly and still a little embarrassed about earlier. She stopped suddenly when she heard a voice from behind her.
"Lily," James began "I don't know exactly what you meant in Potions, and I'm not sure exactly what I'm feeling now, but- well, if I have any idea, I think I can say that we've got something here."
She turned slowly, and looked over at him. His chocolate eyes were gazing at her intently and his hair was all over his face. A strand of it fell into his eyes, making him (to Lily) appear even more cute, if possible. Her legs failed her, and she simply stood, returning his gaze. His outfit consisted of a pair of jeans, a white shirt, and a black leather jacket. He had obviously discarded his robe for unknown reasons. And how did he know that much about Muggle clothing?
When the full realization of what he meant hit her, she (out of instinct) threw her arms around his neck, pulling him into a close hug. He grinned and hugged her back, but she pulled away quickly, blushing and refusing to make eye contact.
"What are you saying James?" she asked quietly.
He stared back at her. "I want to give this a try- you know, you and me. I think it could go somewhere..."
She looked up at him then, her emerald green eyes running over his face. He looked serious, not like he was fooling with her. She didn't know what to say, and had never been involved in a relationship- not one she had chosen, anyway. And then Mary's earlier words rang through her head 'This year, everything is going to be perfect, and we're going to have fun...' Lily decided then that nothing else mattered, except what she wanted to do; she decided to follow her heart through this.
She smiled. "And with you, that's saying something...Okay, let's give it a try then..." he grinned at her, that same waywardly grin that she had learned to love in the past week. There was a long silence, where her eyes went back and forth over his face, and his simply watched her. She began to feel awkward. "Soo, what now?"
In answer, his grin widened and he raised his hands to her face, pulling her into a meaningful kiss.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: I hope you liked it! Thanks a whole lot for the reviews last chapter, I *really* do appreciate it! I love reading reviews (though I think every author does), they make me smile. Please review this chapter and give me your opinion!
~Emily~
