A/N:  Despite the somewhat serious last chapter, this isn't.  Serious, that is.  This chapter is hilarious.  Enjoy. 

Disclaimer:  Boo!  I scared you!  Because you thought we were J. K. Rowling.  But we're not!  (Or so we say...)

Chapter 2

You've all probably read a Hermione/Draco before.  You all expect about the same plot.  And, naturally, this will most likely have the same plot.  Except for one twist... You see, this is not Draco or Hermione telling this story.  I am Neville Longbottom, and I would like to tell you about my sworn enemy getting together with...er...someone else.

And it all started with a detention.  Naturally, since this is a Draco/Hermione story, you would expect the detention to be between Hermione and Draco.  You've been fooled.

In reality, I guess it all started with a potions accident.  Well, not exactly an accident.  Malfoy, the git, dropped a cupful of griffin feathers into my Dissolving Potion.  Now, a Dissolving Potion is a very dangerous mixture without adding more then necessary of one ingredient.  As a result, my potion ate through my cauldron, then through the floor, and had burned a hole that was so deep I could not see the bottom into the ground before Snape mixed together the counter-potion.

Snape, even though he is a bastard, does know what goes on in his class.  He also knew how potentially dangerous that situation could have been.  So, the bloody prat, decided to assign detention to both Malfoy and myself.

I went down to the Transfiguration Classroom where we were supposed to have the detention.  I was, of course, dreading the hours I would be there that evening, but I knew I had to go anyways.

Once, I entered however, I was in for a big surprise.  Professor McGonagal was not in there, as was her duty to watch over us this detention.  Instead, Hermione was there.

"Hermione?" I asked, very confused.

"Hi, Neville.  Professor McGoganal asked me to fill in for her in watching the detention mates today.  Didn't know you'd be here.  Do you know who else is coming?"

Not sure if I mentioned if Hermione was Head Girl or not.  She is.  Ron is Head Boy...and Quidditch Captain.  All the girls love him; everyone's very jealous.

"Hate to put you in a bad mood, but it's Malfoy.  The prick spilled griffin feathers in my potion today, remember."

"Damn, I forgot."  And with that, who should make an incredible entrance, but Draco Malfoy.

His silvery blonde hair was not slicked back as usual, but fell over his eyes in an imploring way.  His robes were abandoned for a white shirt and leather pants.  He looked incredibly sexy.

AHHH!  Wiping that thought out of my brain.  Ew, ew, ew!

"Oh, great.  I get to be babysat by the mudblood."

"Malfoy, why'd you forget the uniform.  You know I have to take of points for that.  Not that I mind," Hermione told him, before taking ten points from Slytherin.

"Despite what you may be thinking, I have an important rendezvous after this detention.  So, let's make this quick."

Without blinking, Hermione went into the tasks that Malfoy and I had to complete this evening.  Boring stuff.  You know the drill:  cleaning up something or other without magic.  Only person who ever has any original ideas for this is Filch...

Anyway, we were about and hour and a half into the detention when Malfoy made a comment.  He makes a lot of those, doesn't he?  "This seems like a normal historical thing, doesn't it Granger?"

She ignored him, but would that stop the Annoying Malfoy?  Never!

"You see, throughout history, Muggles have sought out to kill witches and wizards.  Sure, sometimes it didn't work, but the intent was still there.  This is the way Muggles have always wanted it, isn't it?  Us, the wizards, as their slaves."  He said this all in a very nonchalant voice. I found the viewpoint fascinating.  Hey!  I'm a pureblood too!

Hermione didn't seem to find it fascinating, however.  She just slapped Malfoy.

"What?  No witty come back?"

"I had rather hoped that me hitting you was enough of a come back.  Do not insult my people, Malfoy," she threatened, pulling out her wand.

"I'd like to see you try, Granger," he responded, also pulling out his wand.  "I'd love to see what you think you can do with that.  Wouldn't do much good against someone like me, would it?"

"What?  Because I'm Muggleborn I'm not as powerful?"

"No, because your so innocent you can't know all the spells I know.  Also, I'm so hot you can't think straight."

Hermione looked stunned and her eyes seemed to subconsciously move down to admire Malfoy's pants.  Malfoy, surprisingly, smirked.  I decided to move in before he would do something to her.  "Hey!  Malfoy!  Hand me that...er...rag!"

"You have all the rags, Longbottom!" Malfoy called to me, not taking his eyes of the somewhat stunned ones of Hermione.

"Yeah.  You're right."  So I threw a rag at him.  "Hey!  Malfoy!  Throw me that rag!"

"Are you off your rocker?"  He threw the rag back to me, hitting me in the head.  Of course it didn't hurt because it was a rag.  But it did divert his attention to me so Hermione could stop staring at Malfoy's pants. 

"Back to the world of the faces, Granger.   Don't worry.  I understand completely.  Weasley never did look the type to satisfy."

Ouch!  This is almost as good as wrestling.  Not to self:  Next time I have detention with Malfoy and Hermione, bring popcorn.

This isn't the point, however.  The point was how low that comment really was.  You see, Ron liked Hermione for a while.  She (gently) turned him down.  I can see why too.  She's not much into Quidditch and he's not that much into school.  Sure, they look rather cute together, but they only thing they have in common is Harry and occasionally being put into life threatening situations.  Mm...Harry...

Now, I bet you're wondering what Hermione did at this comment.  Well, she "pulled a Ron," as I like to say, and threw her wand aside and slapped him.  Again.

"You were the only one who had the nerves to do that," Malfoy said, snidely.  Makes me wonder why I called it "Pulled a Ron."  Maybe because Ron would do that if Harry didn't pull Ron back all the time.  Mm.. Harry... back on topic now.

"Get out of here," Hermione growled.

"Don't mind if I do."  And with that, Malfoy left.  He looked very graceful in case you were wondering.  Not that I noticed...Nope...

So, Hermione kicked a couple things, then left.  I thought about finishing the cleaning, but decided I could always blame it on them.  So I went back to the common room to see Harry.   Mm...Harry...

A/N:  Neville's gay, did you notice?  Hope you liked it.  We'll probably get some angry comments from Ron/Hermione people, but we just wanted to point out some faults about that whole pairing.  Like the pureblood side to the muggleborn issue.  We just knew that they had to be thinking something when they singed up for Death Eater world.