A/N:  If anyone is still reading this, I would like to say how incredibly sorry I am for my horrific lack of updates.  College has me absolutely bogged down in work, lots of which I've been ignoring or putting off because I felt some inspiration.  Expect probably two (possibly three) chapters after this one.  Enjoy!

Disclaimer:  Any and all things Potter belong to the brilliant J.K. Rowling.  Sabine and Francie are…well…me (if you haven't noticed by now). 

"Don't worry Francesca. You'll look like a knockout Sue when I'm finished with you."

Francie grimaced. "That's what I'm afraid of."

The Glamoire—Chapter 4

Sabine spent the next few hours giving Francie a complete makeover.  After mixing the hair dye, Sabine used her finger snapping magic to lengthen Francie's hair so that it came down to her butt.  She dyed Francie's hair a perfect platinum blonde, and then applied blush, eye makeup, and lipstick.  Francie watched herself in the mirror while Sabine worked her magic, unsure about these changes.  After all, the only makeup Francie ever wore on a regular basis was concealer and lipgloss.  Once Sabine had finished working on Francie's makeup and hair, she sighed and sat down in another conjured chair.  She jumped up again after only a few minutes.

"Well Francesca, that takes care of your hair and face.  You look stunning so far.  But now you need some sexier clothes."

"But what's the point?  If I'm going to Hogwarts, I'm going to be wearing my school robes most of the time and probably a uniform under that.  I'll just need casual clothes for the weekends, and I have those."

Sabine snapped her fingers once again and a large pile of clothes materialized in the middle of the room.  Sabine began picking through them with distaste. 

"Hey!  Those are my clothes!  What's wrong them?"  Francie looked insulted.

"Well, they're not…what's the word…cool enough."

"You mean they aren't slutty enough."  Francie muttered, thinking Sabine couldn't hear her.

"I heard that!"

Francie sighed loudly, sounding both bored and exasperated.

Sabine glared at her creation.  "Now, may I continue?"

Francie nodded her consent, and so Sabine smiled smugly and went on.

"First of all, you don't have anything here from Abercrombie, Hollister, Hot Topic or Pacific Sunwear.  Clothing from these stories is essential to the wardrobe of any Sue.  Secondly, you don't have anything with words written in glitter.  Thirdly, you only have one pair of even semi-low cut jeans.  Fourthly…"

Francie interrupted her, "Okay, okay, I get the point.  My clothes aren't Sueish enough.  But I can't do anything about that.  It's not like I have money for a whole new wardrobe."

Sabine smiled.  "That's the beauty of magic, Francesca, dear.  We'll just conjure up some proper clothes for you."

Another snap of the fingers and Francie's  were replaced with a pair of low cut Tilt jeans and a pink shirt with Princess written on it in white glitter.  Sabine then conjured a full length mirror so Francie could see her new look.  Francie stared at the girl in the mirror, unable to believe that it was really her.  Her glasses were gone, replaced with color contacts that turned her eyes an icy blue.  Sabine had also conjured several more boxes of the contacts in a variety of colors, including several shades of blue, purple, green, and brown.  Or, as Sabine had put it, sapphire, aquamarine, amethyst, emerald, honey and chocolate.  And the determined author had not taken kindly to Francie's attempts to point out that sapphires could also be white, purple, pink or yellow.   Francie silently chanted the mantra Sabine had ordered her to repeat.

"Science is logical.  Logic is bad.  Math is logical.  Logic is bad.  Genetics is logical.  Logic is bad.  Canon is…"

Sabine spoke up again, pulling Francie's focus away from her chanting. 

"Well Francesca, I am almost done transforming you into the perfect Sue."

"What's left?  I have the hair, the eyes, the makeup, the horrible clothes…"

Sabine grinned wickedly.  "Yes, but you don't have the figure.  You're a bit too flat for a Sue."

Francie looked down at her size A chest.  "You mean too normally proportioned!"

When Francie looked at Sabine again, the authoress was holding two items.  Francie took one look at what Sabine had in her hands and started, once again, to back away slowly. 

"No.  No way.  I refuse."

Sabine looked hurt.  "But you have to!  Please?  For me?"

Francie sighed deeply and trudged back to where Sabine was standing.  Sabine took the stuffed WonderBra she had been holding and handed it to Francie, while snapping for a changing screen.  Once Francie had gotten the bra on, Sabine reached for the other item she had been holding; a corset.  Francie stepped into the corset and Sabine proceeded to do up the stays, pulling the strings as tight as she could.  Francie gasped in pain.

"Do you have to pull it that tight?"

"Yes.  I have to give you curves in all the right places."

"Well, why can't you just change me by magic?  It'd…oof…be a lot less painful!"

"I can't change your physical structure with magic.  I'm allowed to change your hair, since that is no longer living material, but I can't mess with your body.  Besides, if you actually had a figure like this you'd snap in half."

"Point taken.  But hurry up with this, will you?  I'd like to breathe again."

After what seemed like an eternity to Francie, Sabine had finished with the corset and put the finishing touches on Francie's makeup.  The authoress stepped back to admire her work.

"Perfect!  A classic Mary Sue.  Now, for your family history."

"How do I get that?"

Sabine gestured towards the table holding the Glamoire.  "The same way we figured out everything else."

Francie groaned.  "Right.  More reading."

The Sue-to-be sat down at the table and turned to the fourth chapter, entitled Who Says You Can't Choose Your Relatives: Establishing Your Canon Connections.  Francie quickly skimmed the pages before opening up the fold-out section at the end of the chapter.

...And those are merely a few of the reasons connections to canon characters make your story more exciting.  This section contains The Glamoire's easy to use Canon Connection Charts®.  Also included is a blank chart, so you can write down your canon connections.  Remember, this chart merely offers some suggestions.  With a little creativity, your Sue can be anyone she wants!

Canon Connection Charts:

Type: Daughter Sue

Best Connection: Voldemort, S. Black, R. Lupin, S. Snape

Ideal Love Interest*: H. Potter, D. Malfoy, R. Weasley

*********************************************

Type: Grandaughter Sue

Best Connection: A. Dumbledore, M. McGonagall

Ideal Love Interest: H. Potter, R. Weasley, D. Malfoy

*********************************************

Type: Sister

Best Connection: H. Potter, D. Malfoy, S. Snape, S. Black

Ideal Love Interest: D. Malfoy, H. Potter, R. Weasley, S. Black, S. Snape, R. Lupin

*********************************************

Type: Cousin

Best Connection: H. Granger, R. Weasley, D. Malfoy

Ideal Love Interest: H. Potter, D. Malfoy, R. Weasley

*********************************************

Type: Niece

Best Connection: S. Snape, S. Black, A. Dumbledore

Ideal Love Interest: D. Malfoy, H. Potter

*********************************************

Type: Childhood Best Friend**

Best Connection: H. Granger, D. Malfoy, S. Snape, S. Black

Ideal Love Interest: D. Malfoy, H. Potter, R. Weasley, S. Snape, S. Black, R. Lupin

*********************************************

Type: Ex-Girlfriend

Best Connection: S. Black, R. Lupin, S. Snape

Ideal Love Interest: See note.

Younger Sues (current era) fit best as transfer students from Beauxbatons, Durmstrang or an American school.  Older Sues (Marauders' era) come to Hogwarts as new teachers (most commonly Defense Against the Dark Arts) and/or members of the Order of the Phoenix.

Obviously, Sues are Sorted into Gryffindor and Slytherin.  The other Houses are unimportant and only good for providing tertiary characters.

Note:  Obviously the love interest of an ex-girlfriend Sue is self-explanatory; however, the editors of The Glamoire suggest switching partners to create extra angst possibilities (and maybe a threesome!). 

*The editors would like to acknowledge the fact that they have excluded several good looking male characters from this list and would also like to remind readers that the names on this chart are merely suggestions.  Please feel free to pair your Sue with any other character, male or female.  The editors would also like to mention that they do not condone incest.  For example, when writing a Sue who is Draco's long lost sister, we suggest pairing her with Harry, not Draco.  However, if you wish to read more about slash, incest, and all your other smutty fantasies, please read our companion guide: Romancing the Sorcerer's Stone: Love, Lust, and Liaisons at Hogwarts.

**For Sues that attended Hogwarts with James Potter, Sirius Black, Severus Snape, et al. 'childhood' may refer to friendship before or during their years at Hogwarts.

Francie looked up from the book to find Sabine peering over her shoulder while holding a quill pen. 

"Let me see that chart, Francesca," Sabine said. 

Francie dutifully handed the book over.  Sabine pondered the charts before scribbling down a few names.  When she was done, she blew on the ink and handed the book back to Francie. 

"Let's see here…"  Francie bit her lip as she looked over the chart Sabine had created.  As she read, Francie's expression changed from one of boredom to a look of total shock.

"I'm Draco Malfoy's identical twin sister who was sent to Beauxbatons because Lucius thought I wasn't evil enough, and now I'm transferring to Hogwarts for my sixth year because my father's in jail, and I'm going to make all the Slytherin boys, and Roger Davies, and Oliver Wood fall in love with me and then I'm going to wind up with Harry!"

Sabine grinned.  "Yes!  And that was a run-on sentence!  Very good, your grammar skills are breaking down already."

Francie sat, gaping, at the older woman.  "Do you have any idea how many things are wrong with the character you've made me?  Besides, you said before that I was just going to be a Malfoy cousin."

"Well, this is better.  And what have I repeatedly told you about listening to canon?"

"That it's logical.  And therefore bad."

"Very good.  Now tell me Francie, how's your French?" 

A/N:  I'm sorry for the weird stars and formatting on the chart section.  The site won't let a regular chart show up, and this was the only way I could get it look semi-decent.  I don't know what's up with the random spacings, because there is an equal space between each line in Word.