OK, screw the shoutouts. I'm not in the mood. IT'S SNOWING!!!!! Alright, so this chap is about Scott. Sorry it's been so long. What with winter track and ZANNE'S laziness, there has been not a minute to spare! So here it goes. Hope you like it!

Oh YEAH! I almost forgot the disclaimer! Silly ZANNE! This is the disclaimer haiku!

X-Men Evolu-
tion is a cartoon that ZANNE
does not own oh woe

Wasn't that fun? Ok, here it is.

Hee hee. This has been sitting in my documents folder for about 4 months. That's why it says it's snowing. I was under the impression that I would have it finished and updated that day, but I was sadly mistaken. ________________________________________________________________

"Helloooooo Bayville!!!! It's 7:00AM and time for all the dorks who actually use a radio as and alarm clock to get their asses out of bed!" said Scott's radio clock thing that Jean bought him for Christmas.

"Yes sir!" Scott yelled as he jumped out of bed letting his sheets fly into the air and land perfectly on the bed. He grabbed his special red shades and put them on his face. Then he looked at his nicely made bed and threw a quarter on it. But the quarter DIDN'T BOUNCE!!!!

"NNNNOOOOO!!!!!" Scott screamed. All of his hope and dreams! All gone in one toss of a coin!

After a solid 8 minutes of un-suppressible weeping, Scott finally realized that he was going to be late if he didn't get over it. So that's just what Scott did.

He walked over to his closet, made shifty eyes (even though you can't tell with his shades on) and yanked opened the door quickly closing it behind him.

Once he was inside, he pulled aside a curtain to reveal that he had a very large closet. Behind that curtain was a large wooden statue that was covered in SWEATERS! Every kind of sweater was there! He had mohair, wool, cotton, even a small one made from Jean's hair!

"Oh great sweater god," Scott chanted as he bowed down, "Please grant me the strength to defeat all my enemies and grant us a good harvest. Amen."

He then kissed the statue's feet and grabbed his normal sweater and then went back to his room. He got dressed very quickly and went down to breakfast. Even though he didn't take a shower or fix his hair and probably smells funky.

"Good morning friends!" he said to all the people as he walked into the kitchen.

"I am not your friend!" Pasqual (Kitty) growled, "I have no friends!" Then Pasqual bit into her bacon and meatball on toast sandwich.

"Okayyy?! And just in case you didn't know, bacon and meatballs are made of meat," Scott said.

"Grrrrr....." growled Paqual.

"Scott!!!" yelled Jean as she ran over and was just about to kiss him when he moved.

"Oh! Pancakes!" he squealed.

"Oh! Jean!" he squealed again, "The sweetest syrup in the world is your love, and the creamiest butter is your lovely voice. THE FRUITIEST MARMALADE IS YOUR-"

"I don't know why, but all of a sudden I'm starving." said the Professor as he wheeled in to the kitchen.

"Has anyone seen Amanda?" Kurt asked as he walked into the kitchen with the phone in his hand, "Her parents just called and said that they hadn't seen her since she came over here yesterday."

"gurglue gurgle," drooled Pasqual (Kitty) as a stream of slobber ran down the side of her face.

"Hmm....." Kurt made a confused face and put the phone back to his ear, "No she isn't here and.... Wait a minute. Didn't you forbid her to see me ever again because I am blue and freakish looking?...... Cancer? WHAT? Oh, you mean the astrology sign.... Yeah, I'm a Libra..... So that's the reason she couldn't see me? We weren't compatible? Well that makes sense.... Well, if I ever see her again which is highly unlikely because her red pants make me go temporarily blind, I'll call you." Click.

"What odd people." Kurt said as he sat down nest to Pasqual (Kitty) and helped himself to some bacon while Pasqual (Kitty) bared her fangs and growled.

Can I stop typing (Kitty) after every time I type Pasqual? Did you read the first chapter? Can you do this by yourself? Are you sure? I can't hold your hand for the rest of your life you know. OK.

Back to Scott.

Scott and Jean stared dreamily into each other's eyes. Well, Scott stared into Jean's eyes and Jean stared at her reflection off of Scott's sunglasses. But then Jean noticed something. Something terrible. JEAN HAD A PIMPLE!

"AAAAAAAAAHHHYYYYYEEEEEEEE!!!!" Jean screamed and ran out of the kitchen.

"My darling! What ails you?" Scott called after her as he followed her.

"Jean's such a drama queen." Rogue said in a surprisingly naisily voice, "I do declare that she is a prep and I want no contact with her whatsoever. Come Pasqual, let's burn some insence."

Rogue and Pasqual got up and went to their rooms, while they were there, they congratulated themselves for the success of their voodoo magic that cause Jean to spout a pimple even though she used Stridex pads thrice a day.

While all of these events were occurring, little Dorian was still ties to a chair in the hallway closet. He was very hungry and was quite distressed when Jamie forgot about him and tried to get Bobby/Sam to play video games with him.

"It's the story of my life," Dorian sighed through his loose fitting gag, "Nobody loves me."

Dorian was then magiced out of his bindings and there was a great flash of light.

"DORIAN LEECH!" boomed the all powerful, omnipresent voice of ZANNE, "YOU HAVE BEEN RELEASED OF YOUR RESTRAINTS AND NOW YOU ARE FREE TO GO AND LIVE YOUR LIFE. ON ONE CONDITION: YOU MUST WEAR THIS!"

Suddenly, Dorian is magiced into a yellow shirt with a thick black zig zag stripe on the bottom and black shorts, along with brown shoes.

"NOW GO AND ENTERTAIN ZANNE WITH YOUR CHARLIE BROWNISH ANTICS!" And on that note, ZANNE'S omnipresent voice faded away as ZANNE returned to her palace made of vanilla wafers and pixie sticks.

"Why can't my life be normal?" Dorian sighed as he opened the door to the closet and walked out.

Wasn't this story supposed to be about Scott? Well, Jean was sobbing in the bathroom and Scott was leaning against the door, torn up by Jean's pain because of that strong random bond they had acquired out of nowhere.

"Jean my sweet apple pie," Scott soothed through the door, "Isn't there anything I can do to ease your pain?"

"WWWWAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" was Jean's reply.

"Sorry, didn't quite catch that."

"WWWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!"

"Oh, and after that then what?'

"WWWWAHAHGGGGGHHHHHHWWWAAAA!!!"

"OK, I'll do it. But it is my responsibility to be an example to the other students and therefore I must go to school." Scott's brow furrowed in decision, "But I can't just leave you here all alone! WHAT IS SCOTT TO DO!"

Scott ran around in circles trying to think and instead found himself in the front seat of his sports car that magically turns from a convertible in to a 4 seater and then found himself driving Kurt, Evan, Rogue, and Paqual to Bayville High.

"One thing I will never understand," said Evan, "is how I somehow left the Morloks, convinced them to move above ground and live in an apartment where they are no doubt having sitcom worthy escapades, and controlled my bone powers in the span of 5 days."

"Ah the mysteries of life," Kurt said as he stuck his head out the window and stuck out his tong.

"KURT!" Scott yelled as he saw this in the rear view mirror, "Bring your head back in this instant! We don't want to blow our cover!"

"Oh lighten up, Scott!" Kurt protested, "It's not like sticking my head out the window is a mutant only quality and besides, everyone knows who we are anyway!"

"Well, let's just not draw attention to ourselves OK?"

"Whatever man, you are seriously cramping my grill!"

"I'm serious, Kurt! You're never serious! I'm always the one who was to keep you inline!"

"THAT'S IT! I'm blowing this popsicle stand!"

And Kurt teleported away. Somewhere between Scott's popsicle stand and Kurt's grill, Rogue, Evan, and Paqual had tuned them out and where playing frustration rumy when they reached school.

"Mutants are bad!"

"Go back to your drainage pipe you freaks!"

"Nobody loves you!" (1)

These were the normal everyday gab that reached the X-Men's ears as they trudges down the halls of Bayvile High.

"I wish I didn't have to go to school man, this is so wak!" Evan said as he frowned at the kids making the most hurtful comments, "I wish I would just stay home and skate all day."

And Evan dissolved into nothingness, half because of the space time continuum and half because he is a whiny prik and ZANNE is bored with writing about him.

"That was..... odd." Scott commented to nobody because Rogue and Pasqual were in the girl's bathroom smoking a pack of cigars.

"SIGH!" Scott sighed with and almighty sigh that made even Zeus, the thunder god, sigh.

"I sure wish Jean was here."

"What's matter Summers? Can't stand to live without your freak girlfriend?"

Scott turned around to face his arch rival, Duncan Matthews, in all his blond hair with a sidepart S curl and black eyebrowed glory.

"Want I should help you to the nurse's office so you can sob into a pillow?" Duncan asked Scott in a baby voice while his henchmen chuckled.

"Maybe you could just move out of my way so I can get to class Dunc!" Scott snarled.

"OOhhh! Nice comeback hot stuff! Wouldn't want to be late to homeroom now would we?"

No sooner had the words left Duncan's mouth, that the bell sounded in the hall signaling the beginning of homeroom.

Scott's eyes were wide and filling with tears. He had never, EVER been late to a class before! This was worse then that time he had to jump out of a flaming airplane while his parents were left to die on board!

"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Scott screamed as he fell down to his knees clutching his head in his hands.

"NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" he repeated.

Duncan and his henchman looked at Scott and ran away before he could regain himself and bite them or something. That boy was plum CRAZY!

So Scott wept in the hall until he was half blind and only regained his composure when screams were heard from the chemistry room.

A de-inducered blue Kurt came running out of the classroom and down the hall, followed by a mob of teens who were holding Bunsen burners and scalpels and shouting angrily.

Scott sighed and Kurt teleported away and blah blah blah it was a miracle that nobody discovered his identity blah blah blah Scott got a late and brooded blah blah blah ZANNE'S fingers are tired from typing blah blah blah and the bell rang signaling the end of the school day.

"Wow," Scott said as he looked up at the clock, "That was fast."

When Scott got home he ran up the stairs and to Jean's room to find her under Kurt's big brown frump coat.

"What is it Jean?" Scott whispered.

"Oh Scott! I just don't know what to do!" Jean cried from under the hood.

She lifter it and Scott threw up all over the rug. Jean's whole face was covered in red, bubbling pimples! And her hair was really frizzy too!

"MY POOR JEANYPOO!" Scott sobbed as he got out a mop and a bucket and started to clean up his mess.

"HEY!" yelled Kurt from the hallway, "Be quiet! Ich bin trying to concentrate!"

Kurt was busy in the hallway trying to put a purple band aid on ZANNE'S finger from where she cut it on wire mesh in sculpture class.

While Jean was crying and Scott was barfing, Rogue and Pasqual were cackling evily from atop the wardrobe that stood in the corner of Jean's room. They both jumped down silently like ghosts and fled the scene unnoticed.

Meanwhile, Dorian and Rahne were on the beach looking at the waves. Dorian reached for a rock and threw it into the ocean and watched as it skipped over the smooth surface of the blue, cool water.

Rahne turned to him with a scowl on her face and said, "Nice going, Dorian! It took that rock 10 thousand years to get to shore and YOU threw it back!"

"Everything I do makes me feel guilty," sighed Dorian.

"HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!" ZANNE gasps breathlessly as she struggles to sit up again in her golden jeweled throne, "I LOVE THAT LINE!"

Back to Scott and Jean.

Well, Scott and Jean ordered the Vanessa William's clean face formula thingy and Jean hid in a corner. A shadowy corner. Kurt' shadowy corner. So Kurt kicked her out and he crouched there like the angsty gargoyle he is and Jean was forced to hide behind the large vase in the hall.

"If it weren't for all those beautiful skinny models I would have so much more self esteem!" Jena cried as she burst into tears again.

Jean walked back to her room and looked in the mirror. She decided that there was only one thing left to do. Jean smashed the mirror and picked up a shard of glass. She held it to her neck and with one last "I wish I was Pamela Anderson" she slit her throat and died.

Scott came into her room the moment after she died and screamed in horror and the blood and the Jean and threw up yet again. He sobbed onto her body for a whole three hours before anybody realized that Scott and Jean hadn't been to dinner.

The whole Institute tracked up to Jean's room and were horrified with the sight that they beheld! OH THE SIGHT THAT THEY BEHELD!

But suddenly, there was a flash of fiery light from Jean's body and they were all blinded by the brightness. When the spots cleared form their vision, they saw Jean hovering above the ground surrounded by fire. Scott whipped the tears from his eyes and looked up at his love to see that her hideous acne was GONE!

Jean lowered herself to the floor and in a mighty voice she bellowed, "I AM THE ALL POWERFUL PHOENIX!" So Scott and Jean made out inside the orange fire glow and everyone went back to eat dinner.

"Oh my sweet pumpkin pie!" Scott screamed, "I thought that I had lost you!"

"Yeah, well...." Jean's orange glow stopped and she sat down on her bed, "It worked in the comics right? Now I'll probably kill 5 billion people on other planets but at least my acne's gone!"

"That's my Jean!" Scott chuckled as they both laughed and ZANNE'S fingers finally cramped up.

________________________________________________________________

Somebody actually said this in 'Mainstream'! In the beginning when Kitty and Kurt stop the kids in the masks who spray painted their wall, they yell back as they run away and one of them said, 'Nobody loves you!' Now I personally think that that was a little out of line....

So.... it took ZANNE long enough to get this chapter up! And after typing 6 pages without stopping I think I deserve a trophy. Though I won't be able to pick it up when my arthritis kick in! ANGST! I have been obsessively reading stories here on ff.net lately and I remembered this story. If you didn't read the first chapter with Kitty in it you might have been confused at the whole Paqual thing. That's what you get for not reading it! So there! Anywho, sorry again about the wait and I hope that my 7 reviews on this story increase a little. NOBODY LOVES ZANNE! Give me one good reason why I shouldn't slit my wrists right here right now! Oh yeah, I'm going on vacation. Oh well, another day ZANNE, another day.....