Chapter 1: Holding it All Together
Warning: M/M
Disclaimer: HP is not mine.
It was somewhat unexpected, what Draco asked him. You could even say it took Harry by surprise. The boiling white mocha hot chocolate tumbled down his throat and caught causing him to choke violently. Yes, undeniably you could say it took Harry by surprise.
Harry had unknowingly only considered their outing just another routine coffee run, which Draco dragged him along to all the time. Though instead of ordering and leaving, Draco insisted that they sit down and chat.
"You and I have become to distant lately," Harry remembered him saying, and without a second thought he nodded, agreeing of course.
They sat down, Harry with his white mocha, and Draco with his extra-dark coffee. A perfect example of their two extremes, two opposites. Harry supposed that was what made their lives interesting, what appealed about their twisted and strange friendship.
Draco had started off their conversation in his usual, friendly manner.
"So when are you going to get off your ass and get a job?" He was slouched back comfortably in his chair, an arm slung around the back. Draco sipped at his drink every so often with what Harry thought was a quite annoying slurping sound.
"I have no idea." His mouth turned into a frown, fingers playing at the edge of the coffee cup and he looked like he would've wanted to stumble into the burning drink itself. It had always bothered Harry when Draco would talk about his own work, his amazing, enjoyable business, while Harry was stuck with nothing but his threadbare apartment.
The discussion broke around there, and Harry realized exactly how distant they had become at the awkward silence that seemed to have happily settled around them. Draco's gray eyes had flitted from looking Harry in the face, to look at his steaming mug. After a few anxious moments, Harry found Draco to be looking at him, very determinedly.
"There was actually a reason I brought you here, Harry." His voice was silent and it was fairly evident he was a bit edgy.
"Oh thank god, I think my hot chocolate was beginning to grow mold," said Harry, a teasing smile playing over his face.
"Sarcasm, Potter, will get you nowhere." Draco seemed to have gained at least a bit of confidence after Harry's playful remark; the regal air he so often wore was unmistakable. He picked up his cup with a fair-skinned hand, only with his fingertips though, and drank from it.
"So what is this so-called important reason you brought me here for?" Harry's own hands were beginning to get a bit warm against the hot plastic, which was a rare thing to happen during this cold of a winter.
"In due time, Potter. You're patience was never something to brag about was it?" Potter was always the name Draco used in referral to Harry when he was in an especially joking mood. Draco only used Harry to address him when he was feeling particularly sober.
"I've been sitting here in utter silence for nearly the past ten minutes," He grabbed the end of his brown suede coat, pulling it up to glance at his watch. "Excuse me, eleven minutes." Harry corrected himself, pulling his jacket back down, the brief exposure already giving him chills.
"I would like to know what's going on." He stated simply.
Draco started to look tense and apprehensive again. His left hand began to itch its mate, and Harry knew something was up. Draco only did that when he was incredibly nervous.
"Draco," questioned Harry. "What's going on?" His eyes narrowed with suspicion. He was always intolerant for Draco's silly games.
"Let me tell you a story Harry." Draco took another swig and slammed it back down on the table with a short "Ah." He wiped his sleeve across his moderately wet lips.
Harry folded his arms across his chest and leaned back in his chair. "It better be a good one." He sent Draco a glower.
"Well…you see…" Draco began to scratch again. Harry had to resist the urge to slap the bridge of Draco's hand.
"We're having a New Years party at the café, you know…"
"Oh well, the conversation stops right here," said Harry roughly and angrily and moved to pick up the shoulder bag he had sitting on the ground.
"I can stomach coming and drinking coffee with you Malfoy, but if you only brought me here to brag about you're precious café and you're most lovely employee Ally, then I think I'd better be leaving."
He picked up his cup swiftly in a tight grasp with one hand, and backed the seat away with a screeching noise.
"Don't." Draco had a firm grip on the sleeve of his coat, looking at him with the most pitiable expression Harry had ever seen.
"I'm really desperate here Harry." He croaked. "Please." Harry was astonished to hear Draco's voice nearly crack.
"Of course," Harry agreed softly, taking pity on the forlorn creature pleading with him. He realized it was probably a clever ploy of Draco's, he had always been the actor, but Harry decided to stay for his friend. After all, it wasn't everyday that Draco pleaded.
He pushed his chair back in.
"Oh heavens, can you stop that?" asked Draco, holding his hands to his ears protectively. "I'll go deaf before my ripe old age."
"Age is a state of mind." Harry reminded Draco, releasing his now slightly crushed mug of hot chocolate. "Anyway you were going to tell me a story." He leaned his hand to cup his chin and set his elbow on the table, sure for something gloriously long and flattering (flattering Draco, of course).
"I was?" Draco squeaked. "I mean, yes, I am…I mean, I was."
Harry's quick reflexes grabbed at Draco's hand, stopping it mere inches from mauling the other one.
"You're having a New Years party…" He guided Draco, trying to make him feel comfortable again. He slowly released his friend's hand, letting him pull it in towards his chest protectively.
"Yes, well, no, I'm not, it wasn't my idea." He protested at Harry's choice of words.
"But you're attending it, I'm assuming?" Harry pulled his drink to his lips, loving the feel of the smooth liquid running over his tongue, swirling in his mouth. "Being the manager and everything."
"Yes…that asshole…can't believe…audacity to…." Harry's blonde companion began mumbling to himself, muttering curses while Harry only picked up syllables and words.
"Wait Draco, slow down. What on Earth are you talking about?" The steam from his mug started to fog Harry's glasses up, as he hadn't set it down yet. He looked startled, shook his head, and then set it down, rubbing at his lenses.
"Well…you remember Clayton don't you? Has awful spiky black hair, looks entirely inappropriate…" Draco was set off again, Harry stuck listening to what Draco hated most about Clayton.
"Of course I do, go on," urged Harry, not remembering the slightest whom Draco was talking about.
"Well see, all my co-workers…they're bringing people along, you know, spouses, girlfriends, boyfriends, friends." He began to fidget as he spoke.
"Expected." Harry said in a tired voice, trying to get Draco to delve into the point of his story.
"Yes well, you know how stupid I can be sometimes, right Harry?" Draco's voice shook.
"Clearly." Harry sipped again, trying not to take notice of Draco's unusual behavior.
"Yes well, Clayton bet me that I didn't have a date, boyfriend or girlfriend." Draco looked vulnerable again. Harry didn't like it.
"…And you did something stupid." Harry stated, un-amused.
"Yes well, you know how egotistical I can be sometimes, right Harry?" He nearly repeated himself.
"Déjà vu, Draco." Harry berated. "What did you do this time?" He asked with a sigh.
"Well I bet him right back, I told him I had the most stunningly attractive boyfriend in the world, and that he would see him at the New Years party, the most gorgeous thing Clayton would ever see."
"And you don't have a boyfriend…" Harry looked bored. He slurped some more liquid chocolate into his mouth.
"Exactly. And you see…" Draco trailed off, unable to finish his thought.
"What, you want me to ask one of my friends to pretend to be your boyfriend?" Harry looked startlingly appalled, yet not surprised.
"No, not at all." His face turned into a frown of disgust, red hair and freckles popping into his mind. He stuck his tongue out in repulsion.
"Then why get me involved? Am I suppose to make some sort of excuse to bail you out of this party, hmm?"
Even if Harry did bail him out, he hoped Draco had learned a lesson. It was very juvenile of him to go off about a wonderful boyfriend when he wasn't even close to dating someone. It seemed like just the dense thing Draco would do.
" No I actually…kind of hoped that you would…come…" Draco's voice grew meek and cheeks flushed pink as he looked up to Harry's tapering eyes.
This was roughly around the time that Harry choked. Violently.
After he recovered he spoke. "Absolutely. No. Way." Harry's teeth gritted together, utterly horrified that Draco would even suggest such a thing.
"Harry, please, who do you think I would get to do it instead?" Draco's tone was laden with anger and hurt.
"I don't know. You got yourself into this mess, I'm not getting you out of it." Harry decided this was, in all probability, the best time to leave.
"Who should I ask Harry, Ron? Blaise?"
Harry knew Draco was being sarcastic, yet couldn't help retorting. "Ron would never do it, he despises you." He shrugged, "Yet in my opinion Blaise is really very cute, why don't you ask him?"
"Oh really Potter, next thing you know you'll be suggesting I take Crabbe or Goyle." He growled.
Harry sputtered. "Better them than me." Harry took the final chug of his drink, and slammed it down on the table, crushing it.
"Harry…" Draco started to say, looking at Harry unwaveringly. "You have to do this for me."
"And why is that?" Harry challenged, scraping his chair pointedly across the floor once more. Draco recoiled.
"Because…because…" Draco stammered, looking down. He had to fight the desire to rub at his hand again.
Harry glared at his friend, knowing that Draco wouldn't be able to think of a good reason for him to come.
"Look Draco, you're right, we have become distant." Draco swore he could see his friend's nostrils flaring.
"…And that means that I just can't go around doing intimate favors for you like this." Harry's voice had risen during his time speaking, and people in the shop started to give him odd, petrified looks.
Draco stood up to hiss at Harry. "Harry, keep you're voice down." He felt his cheeks get warm. Only god knows what people had thought about that last line. 'Intimate favors', honestly.
"No, you're going to listen to me." His voice was hard.
"Why are you over reacting like this Harry?" Draco hollered. "It isn't that big of a deal anyway, and you're my friend so it wouldn't be uncomfortable or awkward…"
Draco patiently watched Harry's silent reaction and continued.
"The only reason it would be distressing is if you actually liked me…in that way." Draco reasoned knowing Harry would crack under his accusations.
Harry opened his mouth to protest, but was covered by a hand, red and irritated
from scratching.
"Shh." He commanded. "I know you don't Harry." Draco's voice was calm while whispering to Harry. "We don't even have to do anything you don't want to." Draco eyes begged Harry.
Harry swatted Draco's hand away from his face, a thoughtful look upon him.
"I guess I should be flattered…" The statement drew Draco's mouth into a smile. Harry smiled gently back.
"…That you were going on about some, amazing, gorgeous, god-like creature…and you came to me." Harry was amused, giving Draco a devious stare.
"Don't flatter yourself…" Draco objected, loving the sly look on his companion's face that he missed seeing.
"You do the same thing all the time…" Harry shrugged.
"Ouch, Potter. That was below the belt." Draco pretended to be wounded in the chest, staggering all over the floor, nearly running into their table.
Harry laughed, despite the murmured whispers and lowered stares from all over the room.
"Are you sure it wouldn't be uncomfortable for you Draco?" Harry took a step towards him, poking Draco in the chest and chuckled.
Draco swiped at Harry's hand, removing it from himself. "I'm positive." He said firmly, looking straight into Harry's eyes.
"Well good." Harry said, bending down to retrieve some of his things that were scattered on the floor.
"So you'll do it?" Draco's face lit up, hopeful.
Harry glowered once again. "I'll think about it." He grabbed his mutilated cup and strode over to toss it into the wastebasket near the ice-covered exit door.
Malfoy's face fell again. "I suppose that's best anyway. After not being in touch with you for so long, I really shouldn't have expected a definite yes." He thrust his hands in his pockets, shuffling over to his belongings, which lay not too far from Harry's.
He watched Harry pick up his bag and scarf slowly, moving towards the way out.
"Call me later." Harry called loudly, drawing more doubtful glances. He threw his red and gold striped scarf over his shoulders. It looked striking against his brown jacket.
Without looking back he pushed the door open, almost shrinking back from the freezing cold glass. There was snow swirling in the air, a light breeze ruffling his hair, and Harry shivered, rubbing at his own shoulders.
The door swung open again and Harry glanced over his shoulder at Draco, in a great black coat, holding a briefcase in his hand.
The snow nearly matched his skin.
Harry toed the cement, and backed away from the curb as a taxi came rolling up to a screeching halt.
After he had entered the small cab, and told the driver where he wanted to go, it immediately took off, sliding on the ice hazardously.
Not being able to fight the urge to look back, he did, glancing at the shivering, sneering, freezing Draco, bundled up in a thick warm coat, puffing and breathing into his almost blue hands. He might've even looked lost.
And that was how Harry left him; standing on the curb of a street Harry didn't know all too well, sniveling like a fish out of water.
It must've been irony at work, because here he was, in his own apartment, his own bed, mind plagued and restless, replaying the incident over and over again.
"I'm really desperate here Harry." Draco had said.
"…I told him I had the most stunningly attractive boyfriend in the world" He had said.
Harry rolled over in his sheets and blankets, shivering and wishing he had a little more money to pay the heating bill. He also wished he had had the sense to put on a shirt to sleep in, but no, he had feeblemindedly decided to flop into bed after his boiling hot shower, spent, beat and everything in between. Now it was too cold to get out of bed especially since his hair was still a bit wet, being so thick.
With resentment he thought that he should get it cut, his curls waving their way around his ears, in his eyes, there was too much of it to see through anyway. It had been a while since he had been able to afford a good haircut; usually he just cut it himself. He hadn't had the time lately.
Doing what? Nothing?
Harry turned over, wrapping his body taco-like in his blankets, quivering a little, trying desperately to fall asleep and keep his mind from racing. He took a deep breath in and sighed. He frowned once more at his hair, which was not far in front of his eyes, trying hard to be as menacing as he possibly could. This lasted for a few silent seconds, the heartbeat of his wall clock and the heart in his chest echoing solely in his ears. He chuckled, heaving his body, smiling and curling his body very fetal-like into the warmth of the bed, only realizing what a ridiculous thing he was doing, glaring at his hair. He should be glowering at himself instead, or better yet, Draco.
…Draco
Harry couldn't tell if it was his mind, stomach, or heart that did the flip-flop he felt in the pit of his belly. But as he remembered the proposition he grew…well…squeamish. There were no other words to describe it. Well in fact there was anxious, uneasy, and uncomfortable. As well as a few other terms, but that was beside the point.
Harry wondered what exactly posing as Draco's boyfriend would require, especially at a New Years-stay-up-late-drink-all-night-grind-yourself-into-your-dance-partner party. He immediately got an extremely vivid image of him and Draco, drunk and grinding. He shuddered in bed. An onlooker would've said it was from the cold, yet he was scared. Frightened out of his wits entirely.
He tried another mental picture of Draco's reaction when he said that he didn't want to go, which quickly was followed up by a vision of him alone and friendless in his small, quiet apartment. Complete with a red mark across his cheek where Draco slapped him or perhaps a split lip or some bruises decorating his body where Draco had kissed him…killed him.
When had kissing come into the picture?
In the dark Harry's eyes glowed wide, surprised at himself. He gulped at his next thought. Would he have to kiss Draco? He willed himself not to picture that, as well as omitting in thought that traditional ritual preformed at the stroke of midnight on every New Years Eve.
All together, he decided, this was treading in dangerous territory. There were going to be an extremely high amount of lines crossed between two friends in one evening, which would leave them feeling awkward around each other, and Harry didn't want that for their relationship.
He smiled, determinedly. That's exactly what he would tell Draco, and it seemed to make the most sense. Draco possibly would be mad at Harry for sometime, but he would eventually get over it. He heaved a sigh of relief, feeling tension lifted off of his broad shoulders.
"Though I could understand why he came to me…" Harry murmured to the darkness with a smirk on his face. "…After all, I am pretty…pretty good looking."
He laughed at how absurd he knew he was and rolled his head to rest in his hands and inhaled audibly, catching his breath.
"I'll just go to sleep now, and maybe by tomorrow Draco will have forgotten all about everything…"
Yeah just keep telling yourself that….
With that final thought, Harry closed his eyes, uncaring of the troubles that would surely arise the next morning.
