Disclaimer: I don't own anything besides-er-let's see, the world, the mall, instant messenger, and I know there is something I'm forgetting. (JJ)
Title: The Prisoner of AzkabanChapter 3: Apologies
June 8th, 1985
Sirius groaned from his uneasy sleep. The same catastrophe repeated itself over and over in his dreams.
"Don't use me as Secret Keeper, use Peter, maybe."
He shivered. He would never understand why he never suspected Peter. Or why Peter would do such a thing to his best friends. Why he never noticed how Peter would never raise his sleeves before he betrayed the Potters.
Sirius knew it was something that couldn't be fixed. He used to think that you couldn't trust anyone in fear for yourself and friends. But often times you would never suspect your friends. You could walk down the street and pass about a dozen Death Eaters and not notice.
It was summer. It was hard to notice it had gotten warmer because of the dementors. It was too cold for Sirius' liking. He remembered when he was sixteen and run away from home, from his pureblood family. He camped out at James's place. The Potters didn't mind, as long as the two pranksters played pranks it wasn't on them.
Sirius laid himself back down in his little "sleeping spot". He wished nothing had happened to his Prongs. Turning his face to the wall he felt wet tears flow down his dirty face. It wasn't fair. Not that life was fair, but this was just bias.
I think you're going crazy, Sirius, he often thought.
Come on, Padfoot, don't give up. For Harry, he needs a father, James' voice echoed his head.
But I'm here, Sirius told James firmly. But James continued.
Be sensible. I can tell you one thing: you won't be here your whole life. And James' voice faded.
Sirius closed his eyes. Maybe he could actually get some sleep. After a while he drifted off into "dream world" as he called it or "nightmare world".
~*~
Sirius stepped out of Remus Lupin's fireplace brushing himself off. He sneezed twice because of the ashes that filled his nose. He looked around for his friend and jumped slightly when he saw the werewolf come out from his little kitchen.
"Sirius?" Remus asked a little nervy. Sirius raised his eyebrows.
"You look a little nervous," he noted studying the werewolf's face.
"It's just James and Lily, you know. Just a little worried," Remus said obviously a little unnerved. He was pale. Paler than usual.
Sirius shrugged. "Worried myself. But they're in good hands." He gestured towards two stuffed chairs. "Want to talk?" he asked.
Remus nodded and took a seat.
"So…" Sirius started. "Remus, you know that you can tell me anything. Hell, I think I understood your lycanthropy better than James and Peter. If you were in some sort of trouble you can always come to me for help," Sirius told his friend.
Remus relaxed a bit. "I know I can, it's just…everything is just so hard now. I mean, James and Lily, I can't find work because of what I am. It's pretty stressful, if you know what I mean." Sirius nodded understandingly.
"I understand perfectly. But you know, if you wanted to talk-" Sirius shrugged at this "-I'm right here for you."
Remus smiled a bit, lighting up his face. "You should tell Peter that. He's been going off all the time. It might just be ministry business, but I'm not sure. You know him. He's always getting into trouble."
Sirius thought about what Remus had said. Maybe Peter was the spy. In that case-
"Hey Sirius, shouldn't you be in hiding?" asked Remus curiously. Sirius nodded and quickly said, "Sorry Moony, gotta run. Sorry I couldn't stay longer."
Sirius flooed from Remus' house. He had to check on Peter. If he wasn't at his hiding place Sirius knew; Peter would be the spy.
As he reached where he had left his motorbike, Sirius drove as fast as possible to Peter's. He jumped off his bike a pounded on Peter's door.
"Peter! I need to talk to you! Pete! Peter!" Sirius called through the door. He pushed on the door and to his amazement, it flew open. Sirius looked around the hiding place. Peter was clearly not in.
Sirius swore violently and sprinted back towards his motorbike. All he could do was go to Godric's Hollow as fast as possible and hope for the best.
He flew at high-speed praying that everyone was all right.
But the next thing he saw made him queasy: the Dark Mark lingering over the Potter's house. Muggles were running around screaming. The house was in a shambles.
Sirius landed with a screech of tires. His heart pounding in his ears.
He sprinted towards James's house. And in the doorway was something Sirius never wanted to remember.
Sirius rushed over to his best friend who was lying on the ground. He first put his two fingers on James' limp wrist in search for a pulse. Nothing.
"James, please, don't, please be okay," Sirius whimpered searching for a pulse that wasn't there. "Come on, Prongs. Come on. Come on!" he urged. But he knew his friend was gone. He let out a cry and pulled his Prongs into his arms.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Sirius repeated between little tear attacks. He didn't know how long he sat with James but he was kicked out of his reverie a gentle hand pulled on his shoulder.
"S-S-Sirius?" the booming voice of Rubeus Hagrid came from behind following with a cry of a baby.
Sirius spun around eyes transfixed on the bundle that Hagrid was holding. "What is that, Hagrid?" he asked the half-giant.
"Y-ya mean ya don' know?" Hagrid asked. Sirius shook his head. Hagrid showed him the little figure inside the bundle.
"Harry?" Sirius whispered staring at the boy confused but relieved. "Hagrid how? Why?"
"Don' know. But look at the scar," he told Sirius. There was a lightning bolt on the baby's forehead.
"Hagrid, can-can I hold him?" Sirius asked. The half-giant nodded and handed over the bundle. Sirius held the boy protectively against his thumping chest.
"Bu' hurry. I gotta get him ta Professor Dumbledore. Harry's goin' ta live with his aunt and uncle," Hagrid announced sadly. Sirius froze.
"But they're muggles!" he objected.
"I know. But I have me orders, you understand," Hagrid said taking back the baby boy.
"I'm Harry's godfather for heaven's sake!" Sirius argued. "Just give him to me. I'll take better care of him than those muggles will."
"Sirius, he's gotta be with his family. I bet you'll be able ta go see 'im sometimes," Hagrid told Sirius kindly. Sirius thought on this for a minute. Hagrid was right, maybe Lily's sister wasn't as bad as he thought she was.
"Fine, but take my motorbike, I won't need it anymore," Sirius reasoned. "It's faster than anything else."
~*~
Sirius awoke with a jolt.
"I'm sorry James," he whispered.
~*~*~*~*~
Whew! Whenever I write about when James and Lily died and Sirius finding them gone it always makes me cry. I mean if my best friend Haley died, I would be balling my eyes out.
Well, review if you wish. *Tear* *tear*.
