A/N: More tears, more tissues, more distressing reviews from upset readers. It's a horrible cycle, ain't it? Anyway, things get better so just keep reading and maybe life will soon go on for Sirius, James, Remus, Peter, and Lily….anything can happen.
Disclaimer: You know how this goes. Everything you don't recognize belongs to moi. However, everyone and everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling. (Oh, a lot of this chapter is trademarked by her, as well, so yay for her!!)
MEMORIES
CHAPTER 35: Anticipation
Written by ByeByeBirdie
A minute later, the office door opened and Lily, James, and Harry, sleeping in Lily's arms.
"Why, I wasn't expecting this," Dumbledore spoke first. "Please, have a seat."
"Um…I'm not sure if you know why we're here but…" James trailed off.
"Does this have to do with that article in the Daily Prophet?"
Lily nodded as James replied, "Yes, Professor."
"First of all, I am deeply sorry, James, for the loss of your mother," Dumbledore said gravely. "I remember her from her time spent at Hogwarts. Always causing trouble with your father and Francesca Cortese."
To everyone's surprise, James smiled. He wasn't expecting it, either, and was rather surprised with his reaction. He figured he'd be breaking down in tears by now, but he smiled…the mere thought of his mother as a younger teenager hanging out with his father and Sirius' mother just made him happier.
Dumbledore smiled as well. "They were quite the threesome. Three Musketeers, they used to call each other."
James smiled again. "Kind-of like the Marauders…"
"Exactly. I don't know if anyone has ever told you, but you and your mother are remarkably similar. You look like her in every way and you act like her as well," Dumbledore continued. "Always causing trouble and trying to be the best at everything. She was Head Girl, you know."
James nodded. "She used to brag about that all of the time," he said with a laugh. "Never letting Dad forget it, either."
Lily smiled. She liked seeing James happy, especially when it came to his family. Lily couldn't remember the last time that James smiled out of his own joy instead of forcing himself to be happy for not only himself, but for others as well. The past few weeks have been tremendously crazy, and just seeing her husband smile made everything so much easier to deal with.
"I don't doubt it. She gloated it in his face whenever she got the chance. The horror on his face when he found out Silas Black was Head Boy," Dumbledore said with a chuckle.
James had to laugh and Lily couldn't help but think of Sirius at that point, feeling melancholy all over again.
"Jealous, I presume," James mumbled.
Lily laughed and Dumbledore cracked a smile. "Exactly. He refused to let Caroline hang around with a Slytherin like Silas. Especially when your parents were seriously dating at that point."
"And then when Sirius' mom started sneaking around with Sirius' father," James said, shaking his head in amazement. "I must have heard that story a thousand times."
"What happened?" Lily dared to ask, having never been told this story.
James and Dumbledore both chuckled and turned to Lily. "My father pushed Silas off his broom at a Quidditch game at the end of the year and almost killed him, and my mother was so mad that she stopped talking to him altogether and since they both refused to cave, they stayed mad until after graduation and they went their separate ways after Hogwarts. Well, ironically my father kept in touch with Francesca and three years later, they met up with each other at Silas' and Francesca's wedding and were married eight months later."
Lily smiled. "That's so sweet."
"Actually, it reminds me of Kaitlynne and Remus…without the almost-death part in Hogwarts," James said with a laugh.
Dumbledore smiled at the couple. He knew that all they wanted was to be happy, which brought him to think about why they were in his office at the moment.
"I know we got a little side-tracked, but I was actually just about to come and talk to you when you two showed up in my office," Dumbledore explained.
James smiled and Lily took a glance over at him.
"Is that good?" Lily dared to ask.
"I think I know a way I can help you both to escape from Voldemort."
Lily gasped in sheer joy and James stared at him emotionless, not sure of how to respond. They needed help, of course, but they didn't think that there would actually be a way, and now Dumbledore is telling them the few words they both desired to hear.
"Re-really?" James asked.
Dumbledore nodded. "At least this is your best chance."
"Hey, I'm up for any chance right now," Lily muttered.
"How are you going to help us?" James immediately asked.
"A Fidelius Charm."
James and Lily exchanged looks. "A what?" Lily asked.
Dumbledore chuckled. "It's a tremendously difficult spell. It's a charm that entails concealment of a secret inside a living soul. That person is known as the Secret-Keeper and the inevitable secret will furthermore be virtually impossible to find...unless the certain Secret-Keeper mentions the charm or confesses the secrets within his soul in any way. So if you hide yourselves and Harry in someone's soul, Voldemort will never be able to reach you. But you must choose wisely because any mention of you two would ruin you and you'd be out in the open for Voldemort and his death-eaters."
Both Lily and James were listening intensely and continued to nod, both thinking about how risky this charm would be…but they both knew it had to be done and they both wanted to do it more than anything.
Lily looked up at Dumbledore and then glanced towards James with a determined look on her face. "Okay," Lily said with a huge smile plastered on her face.
Dumbledore nodded satisfyingly and continued. "I am willing to be your Secret-Keeper, if that suffices both of you."
James shook his head. "No, I don't want to put you in any danger, even at the slightest."
Dumbledore was about to protest, but the eager look in James' eye told him it wasn't any good. So Dumbledore nodded and looked at him, figuring he had someone in mind. "Okay, but I advise you to choose carefully."
James looked at Lily and Lily smiled at him, knowing that he was thinking of someone in the back of his mind. She was thinking the same thing……
"I want to use Sirius," James said firmly, looking at Lily for agreement.
Lily smiled. "Good, because I don't think I'd take it any other way."
On the other hand, Dumbledore looked skeptical. He knew that someone close to the Potters was giving Voldemort secret information, and as much as he didn't want to believe it was Sirius, he was a possibility. "Are you sure?"
James nodded eagerly. "I know he wouldn't let us down."
Lily nodded as well, and couldn't help but look over at Harry in his carriage sound asleep. It was the safest thing for all of them, especially Harry…
"Now, you two are the only two who can perform this charm, so once you talk to Sirius, please come see me and I will give you all of the instructions and the incantations. This will be a long process, and you'll need to listen carefully and understand everything I tell you. Unfortunately, I can't help you with the procedure. That will be up to you two, but I can lead you up to that point. The rest is for you and Sirius."
"Yes, Professor," James said, with a lump in his throat. "Well be back as soon as possible."
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"No, I don't know where they are," Remus said.
Sirius sighed, shifting Elizabeth from one arm to the other. "They weren't at home, and no one knows where they are. Even their neighbor didn't see them leave and he was mowing the lawn."
Remus sighed. "What about Diagon Alley?"
"Checked there."
"Hogsmeade?"
"Nope."
"Auror's office?"
"Nope."
"Daily Prophet?"
"Nope, and they're not at the cemetery, at Lily's grandmother's house, at Petunia's, at the hospital, at the doctor's office, or Peter's house."
Remus sighed. "Then I have no more guesses."
Sirius took a deep breath in and out. "Where could they be? I don't want to freak out, but I am!" Sirius cried, shaking Remus.
Remus gave him a look and stepped back away from him. "I couldn't tell," he replied sarcastically.
Sirius started pacing back and forth. "Okay, so we know where they're not…that doesn't help us, though."
"Sirius, calm down!! I'm sure they're fine!"
"Daddy okay?" Elizabeth questioned.
Sirius smiled down at her shakily. "Yes, sweetheart."
"Are you sure you're okay?" Remus teased.
"Watch it, Remus," Sirius warned.
"Sirius, stop hyperventilating. They're fine!"
"Are you positive!?"
"Well…er…no."
"Then maybe they're not fine!!!"
"Sirius, if you don't calm down right now I'm giving you a silencing charm and dying your hair that ugly purple color you absolutely hate."
"This is hardly the time to joke," Sirius said glaring at Remus.
"Who said I was joking?" Remus teased.
"REMUS!"
Remus chuckled. "Besides, if this isn't the time to joke, than what is it? And don't say the time to worry, because considering we don't know where they are, then we have no need to worry."
"How about freaking out?"
"Nope."
"Hyperventilating?"
"Nope."
"Fretting?"
"Nope."
"Agonizing?"
"No."
"Pace back and forth trying not to think about it even though I am completely distressing about them while pulling little strands of hair out of my skull?"
"Oooh, so close…but no."
Sirius couldn't help but laugh. "Fine, fine. I'm hungry."
Remus laughed. "So if you're not thinking about James and Lily, you're thinking about food?"
"I'm always thinking about food," Sirius pointed out.
"Right, right. Now, listen, I've got to get to work now. Could you watch Landon for a little while?"
Sirius nodded. "Sure, Remus."
"Thanks. I've got to go now, but you better call me when James or Lily calls you."
Sirius nodded. "Okay."
"Bye, Sirius," Remus said, before he apparated.
Sirius sighed. "Great…now what do I do?"
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
"Oh, Kaitlynne," Remus sighed ten minutes later in the cemetery where she was buried. Yeah…he lied. But he couldn't deal with it anymore. The only person he wanted to talk to was Kaitlynne…and she was one of the few people who couldn't answer him. "I wish you were here. You could straighten everything out and help me from going insane. Voldemort has been after us. I'm afraid to think what he would have done to you or to me if you were still alive. Everything's so hectic now. I need you, Baby Girl," Remus said as the tears slowly slipped down his cheeks. "I just keep thinking that this is a bad dream. I'll wake up in a few minutes and realize you're still alive…until I suddenly figure out that this is reality. Oh, God, I loved you so much, Kaitlynne!!" he cried out, hugging the tombstone, getting mud on his knees. But he didn't care. All he cared about at the moment was him and Kaitlynne. "I know I have to get over you, but I can't. It's too hard. I look at Landon and I see your eyes. I look at Landon and I see us together. Why did it have to happen to you?
"And now…now Voldemort has struck gold. He's got all of his powers charged up inside of him and he's ready to use them all. Allie and Josh were victims…Cole and Jenna…Savannah and Leigh…Sirius' dad and sister…James' mother…Sirius' neighbors…Lily's second cousin…everything is so anxiety-stricken, and I hate living in a world full of it. I'm afraid that I'll be next, Kaitlynne, and the scary part is that…I don't mind………"
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
"Hello?" Sirius said, answering Remus' telephone.
"Hello? Remus?"
"Who is this?"
"It's Lily."
"LILY MARIE POTTER, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN AND WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME BEFORE YOU MADE ME WORRY ABOUT YOU LIKE THAT!?"
"Sirius?"
Sirius couldn't help but laugh at the fact that Lily recognized his voice when he was screaming at her. "Yeah, I'm baby-sitting for Landon while Remus is at work for a little while."
"Oh, good. James and I actually need to talk to you."
"About what?"
Lily didn't answer him.
"Lily?"
She sighed. "We'll be over in a few minutes."
And with that, Sirius heard the dial tone. "ARGH!! Why do people have to keep me in suspense!?"
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
"Okay, I swear if someone doesn't start talking now, I'm going to scream so fucking loud that the cops will come and take me away!"
"Then you won't hear what we have to say," Lily joked.
"AAAARRRGGGHH!!"
"Sirius, calm down. This is hard to say," James said.
"I can't calm down!" Sirius whimpered. "After reading that damn article I needed to talk to you, and when I show up at your house you're not there. And you're not at work or Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade or Peter's house or anywhere, and I checked everywhere!"
"We were at Hogwarts with Dumbledore," Lily explained.
Sirius paused and looked her over. "Hm…so maybe I didn't check everywhere."
Lily and James cracked a smile.
"Why were you there?"
Lily and James exchanged looks. "Do you have a while?"
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
"A Fidelius Charm?"
"Yeah. It's dangerous, risky, unsheltered, perilous…but it's all we've got," Lily explained, glancing over at Harry, who was sleeping peacefully.
"But...I mean, I'm still confused as to why Voldemort after you. Why you guys? Why not the Ministry council or Sir Sephilia if he was so worried about being over-exposed and being captured?"
"Because he doesn't have their secret information," James remarked.
"Oh…"
"Exactly. So we either pick between living our lives in perturbation, or using the Fidelius Charm. And I don't want to live a life fearing for my life or James' or Harry's," Lily commented.
Sirius nodded, in complete agreement. "Have you told Peter or Remus about all of this yet?"
They both shook their heads simultaneously. "No, but there's a reason we needed to tell you first…" James started.
Sirius felt like he already knew what they were going to ask him.
"We want you to be our Secret-Keeper," James finished.
Sirius nodded, with a lump in his throat. "Okay."
"Okay? That's it? You can think about this, Sirius. You have to realize that this is putting you in a lot of danger," Lily said.
Sirius nodded. "I know, but I owe it to you guys, to Harry, and to Savannah and Leigh. I owe it to everyone who Voldemort affected. I want to do this. I deserve this chance to make it up to everyone who I've ever known. I deserve to be someone."
Lily and James grinned. "Great," James said.
"Dumbledore offered," Lily decided to tell Sirius.
Sirius was taken aback and looked at them strangely. "Why didn't you use him?"
"Much too risky and dangerous. I'd feel safer in the soul of a friend than in a soul of a former professor who became my friend because of a place that got me mixed up in all of this," Lily said. "I'd feel guilty using Dumbledore."
James nodded. "I completely agree. With Dumbledore, everything has to be just right and every movement of mine would consist of a big cloud of guilt hanging over my head. With you, I know I'm safe and I've always been able to count on you; this situation doesn't change that a bit."
Sirius nodded and smiled at his two worried friends sitting in front of him. He loved the sensation of being needed, especially after the previous events of his wife and friends and family. Right now, he liked knowing that his friends still cared about him. He'd been feeling pretty low and depressed lately, and even with this weighing down his mind at the time, he knew it was the right thing to do for everyone.
"We just need to go back to Dumbledore and get everything we'll be needing," James said.
"Don't you guys want to tell Remus and Peter?" Sirius asked. "Once the charm is performed, you said no one will be able to find you and it would be a high-risk standard to say anything to anyone."
"Call Remus," Lily said immediately. "You said he was at work, right?"
Sirius nodded, and picked up the phone and dialed in a rush. "Yes, hello this is Sirius Black and it is urgent that I speak to Remus Lupin."
The other line paused. "He's not in today. In fact, he took off for the rest of the month, ever since he found out his wife had ovarian cancer in the beginning of July…and then his wife passed away. He hasn't been in since the end of June. I'm sorry."
A/N: Dum-dum-dum-dum! Cliffie! I know, it sucks for the rest of you…but if you review maybe I'll find time to update sooner than once a month or so! I really do try to update once or twice a week, but I forget a lot. However, if I get more reviews like I did in the last chapter, I will definitely find more time! I got some heartfelt reviews for the last chapter which made me want to update sooner, so really—you, as the readers and audience to my fanfic, have the power to change my updating decisions. Get all your friends to review and write longer reviews with meaningful entries! I like to know what I can be doing better and I like a bit of constructive criticism. Tell me what you like and what you don't like! That's what a review is all about people!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for reading, and remember—"If you don't just review once in a blue moon, than perhaps I'll find more time to update soon!" (My friends were extremely hyper…and drunk, if you must know…and were trying to rhyme something with 'soon'. This is all they came up with and I found it rather entertaining so I'm putting this up just for you guys, Milck and Bizzy!)
