A/N: Another chapter!!  36 down and only FOUR more to go!!!  Aren't you excited!?  Because I am!!!  YAY!! 

Disclaimer: You know how this goes.  Everything you don't recognize belongs to me and everything else belongs to the great J.K. Rowling (who I love so much that my friends and I are planning on seeing the 3rd Harry Potter movie on the Friday that it comes out even though it's the day right after my senior prom and I'll probably be up all night partying at the shore!  Yay!  But EVERY YEAR I've gone on the first day, and I can't change that! I'm too obsessed!)

MEMORIES

CHAPTER 36: Change of Plans

Written by ByeByeBirdie

            Sirius froze and didn't say a word.  James and Lily raised their eyebrows in questioning at him wondering why he was so stiff.

            "Hello?  Are you still there?" the other woman said.

            Sirius sighed.  "Yes…but…umm…I'm sorry, can you please repeat that?"

            "He's not in?" she suggested in a confused tone of voice.

            "No the…the Kaitlynne part."

            "You didn't know?  She…she died."

            "No, no, I knew she died, but tell me why…?

            "Ovarian cancer," she said very impatiently.  "Listen, I'm not the doctor nor am I Remus Lupin so is there something else you need, sir?  Or could we possibly wrap this highly-unintelligent conversation up?"

            "Oh…oh…sorry…er…thanks though," Sirius said, without bothering to care about the annoyance of the woman on the line.

            He heard the click of the other line and placed the receiver in its cradle slowly.

            "What?  What's wrong, Si?" James asked.

            "He's not there," Sirius said, still a little shaken up.  "In fact, he hasn't been to work since the end of June."

            "What?" Lily cried.  "But…But…"

            "Oh, and I think Remus forgot to mention a tiny detail to the rest of us," Sirius said, trying not to sound angry.

            "Like what?" James asked.

            "It turns out that…that Kaitlynne had ovarian cancer."

            "WHAT!?" they both cried.

            "He never told us that!" Lily cried.

            "I know," Sirius said somewhat calmly.

            "And all of those times he asked us to baby-sit for him so he could go into work?" James said.  "If he didn't go into work…where would he have gone?"

            "He needs us now more than ever, and he's been lying to us!" Lily accused angrily.

            "You guys, we've got to find him," Sirius demanded firmly.

            "My thoughts exactly," James agreed in an irritated manner.

            "This seems awfully suspicious," Lily said.  "This isn't like him."

            "I know," James said, contemplating the situation.  "It makes me wonder…"

            "About what?" Sirius asked.

            "Is it…by any chance…could it be him???"

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Remus?  He's probably at work," Peter said, when he answered the door.

            Sirius shook his head vigorously, holding on to Landon.  "No he isn't.  He hasn't' been to work since June."

            "What?  He just asked me to baby-sit three days in a row last week so he could go into work.  Of course he was there!!"

            Lily shook her head and James and Sirius hung their heads low in confusion.

            "But…A-Are you sure?"

            James nodded, shifting Harry to the other arm.  "He didn't go there.  He's been going somewhere else…doing something else.  And we don't know what.  I don't' think anyone knows what."

            "But…but…but why?  Where?  When?  How?"

            "Good question.  And if we knew all those answers, we wouldn't be here right now," Lily said, holding on to Elizabeth.

            Peter sighed.  "Come on in.  We should try to figure this all out and standing outside in the burning heat doesn't seem like a whole lot of fun."

            They all rushed indoor and piled on to the two couches.

            "Peter, did you know that Kaitlynne had ovarian cancer?"

            "WHAT!?!?"

            "Obviously not," Lily sighed, running her hands through her hair nervously.

            "But…how…why…when…what?"

            "Good question," James muttered.

            "And if we knew all those answers, we wouldn't be here right now," Sirius mimicked, and Lily playfully hit him, still wearing a frown on her face.

            "Peter, to make a very long story short, Voldemort is after us," James started.  "And Lily, Harry, and I need to go into hiding."

            Peter opened his mouth and closed it again and stared at them in complete confusion.  "Uh…what?"

            "Yeah, that was our reaction, as well," Lily muttered.

            "Dumbledore told us about the Fidelius Charm," James continued.  "It's a-"

            "I know what it is," Peter found himself saying.

            Sirius, Lily, and James all looked at him in surprise.

            "What?  I had to know it for my training course," he explained.

            They all nodded, without bothering to ask what his training course even was for.  "We're using Sirius," Lily continued as she glanced over at an uneasy looking Sirius.  "But once the charm is performed-"

            "You'll be in hiding forever unless that person slips up and mentions something to anyone," Peter finished.  "Basically, you're telling me this because, now, I'll have a chance to reach you if I need to.  I'll know where you are."

            "Exactly," James agreed.

            Peter solemnly nodded with an added sigh full of exasperation.  "Good luck then…"

            "C'mon.  We need to get to Dumbledore," James insisted.

            "Are we going to tell Remus?" Lily asked James.

            "We don't even know where he is right now," James pointed out.

            "But he's our friend.  He deserves to know about us, James.  We can't just leave him high-and-dry.  That wouldn't be fair to us or to him and you know it."

            James looked over at his concerned wife and knew she was right.  He just didn't want to make a mistake…  "We've got to find him then."

            James and Lily stood up cautiously, as if something was going to come up from behind them and bite their heads off.  But they were both just thinking about Remus and Voldemort and the Fidelius Charm…and everything that their life could have been…but isn't. 

            Sirius, James, and Lily walked out of Peter's house with Landon, Elizabeth, and Harry with them and were about to apparate, when Sirius grabbed on to James' arm.

            "Wait, use Peter," Sirius said unexpectedly and breathlessly.

            James and Lily turned to him with flustered looks on their faces.  They saw a fearful, scared, antagonizing, worried, fretting, bewildered, strange look on Sirius' face.

            "What are you talking about?" James had the courage to ask.

            "Use Peter for what?" Lily asked.

            "Don't use me as your Secret-Keeper; use Peter.  Voldemort won't suspect it.  It's too obvious that I'd be your first pick."

            Lily paused, glancing at Sirius uncertainly, but nodded in agreement understanding what Sirius was trying to explain.  However, James stood staring at Sirius with a complex vision of superiority set in his mind.  But the look on Sirius' face told James that not only was Sirius right about what he was saying, but that Sirius was scared.  Sirius was scared, and afraid to admit it.  James and Lily both knew that he'd rather be tortured for the rest of his life than betray them, but Sirius didn't want to die…and he would refuse to give in to anybody. And Voldemort wouldn't exactly like that…neither would anyone else on Lily and James' case, and James knew it…Sirius knew it…Lily knew it. 

            Besides, just because Sirius refused to talk, doesn't mean it won't happen.  Sirius often gave in quickly without any consent or reasoning and Sirius often said some things he'd always regret…and although the Potters' life was at stake, Sirius would be taking it too threateningly.  Nobody knew what Sirius was ever going to do…that's what made Sirius so mysterious and slick.

            "We need to make this right between all of us," Lily said.

            "Do what you think is right, Si," James answered quietly.

            "I'm not necessarily saying this is right, but it's better for you.  I don't want to go through life trapped and confused, and I sure as hell don't want that to happen to you.  We need to throw Voldemort off track, and by using me as your Secret-Keeper, it's like waving a red flag in front of his face."

            Lily nodded in agreement.  "I think you're right."

            James didn't answer.  He didn't know what to do…he was stuck in this situation.  He trusted Peter, no doubt, but Sirius was the one true person who James could always count on.  He just wanted to keep it that way…selfish?  Oh, yeah, and James knew it…but it was how he felt deep inside.  It's not that James thought it was a bad idea…or it was being too risky…or the fact that Peter wasn't trustworthy.  It was none of those reasons, because Peter was a good friend and would always stay that way, but Sirius…Sirius was his best friend…the best person for the job, James couldn't help but think.

            James sighed.  "I hate this, you know."

            Lily looked up into his eyes with concern and affection, and gripped his arm with her free hand.  "James, we're not only putting ourselves through danger through this procedure, but by using Sirius, we're putting him in danger as well.  Of course Sirius would never tell, but he'd be tracked down and tortured for the rest of his life.  It's not fair for anyone."

            James knew this was true…every single word of what she spoke was a thud in his stomach…and in his heart.  He sighed again and turned towards Lily with a stressed expression.  "Lily, I'm agreeing with you and Sirius…but…well, it just won't be the same," he whispered.

            Sirius turned to James with the puppy-dog eyes he rarely gave to anyone.  The sad, melancholy eyes that showed true passion and true friendship…brotherhood.  "James, you know I'm not good with all of this mushy, male-bonding crap that you happen to bring up every so often, and usually at this time I'm make a joke about your hair…or your clothes, but right now I'm staring you straight in the eyes and telling you that there is absolutely no one in this whole entire world who means more to me than you do.  You've been the brother I never had.  You've always been there for me and I've always been able to count on you.  You're the best friend that a guy could ever ask for and I'm so thankful for everything you've ever done for me.  I'm not doing this to hurt you in any way.  It's just safer and I'm doing this because I care.  Please, don't hate me.  Don't resent the fact that I'm changing your plans.  I'd do anything for you.  ANYTHING.  I'd fly to the moon, I'd buy you America, I'd jump of a seventy-foot building, heck…I'd even sit outside on Christmas night wearing nothing but my boxers until my ass froze off and I ended up being a miserable little ice-cube!!  But this is different.  This isn't just fun and games.  This is life…reality…truth…mortality—hey, that rhymed—"

            Lily and James smirked.

            "Okay, sorry, I had to add a joke in there somewhere, but back to what I was saying, I care for you…and Lily and Harry so much that I can't be your Secret-Keeper.  Please, just try to understand where I'm coming from and forgive me…for everything I've ever done to hurt you…or to manipulate you…or torment you in any way.  Because none of it was ever worth it…none of it."

            James' eyes glossed over wit unshed, burning tears.  Why?  Who knows…only James can answer that question.  Maybe it was the sentiment of Sirius' speech…Maybe it was the truth in everything Sirius had just said…maybe it was the warm feeling from the bottom of James' heart…maybe it was the devotion from Sirius' point of view…maybe it was the fact that James realized he never should have take Sirius for granted…or maybe—just maybe—it was the fact that James just realized that no one could ever replace the best friend that Sirius has always been to him…

            James turned to Sirius with a sensation of hopefulness…of satisfaction, and embraced Sirius with a brotherly hug…not a friend-like hug…a brotherly hug.  The kind of hug that always matters…

            "Thank you, Sirius, for everything you've ever done for me…for us," James whispered into his ear.

            "Now, go talk to Peter," Sirius said, choking up.  He pushed them in front of him mainly because he wanted to get Lily's and James' back to him, so he could wipe away the few tears that were forming in his eyelids.  "I love you James…" he whispered only for himself to hear.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Whoa…slow down.   You want me?" Peter squeaked.

            Lily nodded.

            James nodded.

            Sirius hesitated and looked towards Lily and James…and then Sirius nodded.

            "But…but…"

            "Peter, you don't have to do it if you don't want to," Lily said.  "It's a big responsibility and it's very risky.  But…well, Sirius made some good points outside and we realized that it would even more dangerous to use Sirius."

            Peter nodded and swallowed hard.  "No, it's not that I don't want to…I just thought I would be one of the last people on your list."

            "Why would you think that?" James asked.

            Peter shrugged.  "I don't know...I just…oh, I don't know.  Things have been strange lately and I haven't exactly been there for everyone."

            "It happens to everyone," Lily explained.  "Time becomes more of an issue, at the exact moment when you need more of it.  Trust me, we all get caught up in plenty of things and end up doing something we wish we hadn't…or not doing something we should have done."

            Peter nodded.  "I know…I know."

            "So, what do you think?" Sirius asked eagerly.  "Will you do it?"

            Peter paused and looked at Sirius, James, and Lily and studied and analyzed their faces efficiently.

            Sirius stood there, anxious yet scared.  He was eager for that moment in his lifetime where he could finally be worth something to everyone, but he realized this wasn't it.  Too dangerous, too risky, too obvious.  He sat there staring at Peter, hoping that Peter would realize that Lily and James trust him…they want him and they need him.  And what about himself?  Well, Sirius has always been needed…but at the one time where they needed him the most, was the one time Sirius couldn't be needed.  His fear and anxiety and the realization of the seriousness of the matter got in the way and his concern for James and Lily was sadly reeled in the back of his mind.

            And there stood Lily with a face full of hope and plea and worry.  Lily wanted to be safe…she wanted Harry…and James to be safe, and she didn't care how she got to that place of security and protection, as long as she got there as soon as possible. She wanted what was the best for her family.  And she was truly hoping…desiring for Peter to say the right words to make them all happy.

            James didn't know what to think at the moment.  Watching him, Peter could only capture the bravery in his heart and in his mind.  But deep down inside, James was scared…terrified of Voldemort and his powers and the horrible things that he could do to him and his family.  All he wanted was to know that everything was going to turn out okay.

            "Yes…I'll do it," Peter finally responded.

            James and Lily let out a sigh of relief and Sirius smiled wide.  There were no other words to describe their happiness.  Lily gripped Peter tight as Sirius and James embraced once again.

            "What are we going to tell Remus?" Peter finally thought to ask.

             "Tell him you used me," Sirius said firmly.

            "But-" Lily started.

            "Just do it."

            "Sirius-"

            "Guys, trust me on this one.  You guys will be in hiding and the fewer people who know where you two are, the better.  Remus has been disappearing for the last two months for various unknown reasons.  We don't' know what he does or where he goes…but we get stuck with high hopes of his return of contentment.  It never works out.  Don't ruin your reputation or your safety. Let's leave it at you two, Peter, and me for now.  This way we know nothing can go wrong," Sirius said persistently.

            Lily nodded.

            James paused but agreed.  "It's for the best."

            Peter sighed and nodded as well.  "Then let's do it."  

            Knock, knock.

            They all froze and turned towards the door cautiously.

            Lily and James exchanged looks.

            Sirius and Peter exchanged looks.

            James squeezed Harry tighter, afraid of…well, anything.

            They all looked back at the door as Peter slowly walked towards it.

            Knock, knock.  A more solid, more urgent, more swift knock came to the door, soon followed by another.

A/N: Dum-dum-dum-dum! Who is it and what do they want?  Review puhleez and I'll find more time for updating!  ONLY 4 MORE CHAPPIES!