A/N: Well, I'm back with, yet again, depressing news. These final chapters just kinda tie together how I think it should end, so just keep on reviewing until there are no more chapters left (only three left after this!)
Disclaimer: You know the drill. It's all J.K. Rowling's, who I will forever adore.
MEMORIES
CHAPTER 38: The Dream I Dreamed
Written by ByeByeBirdie
"Hagrid, let me take him. He's my godson. I deserve to take him in," Sirius urged on. Although, that was partially the reason, the main reason as to why Sirius wanted to take him was to prove to himself and to James and Lily that he wasn't a terrible person. He can do something right and because Sirius caused all of the pain and suffering on that certain night, Sirius wanted another chance. He didn't want to walk out of there that night with nothing but the thought to last forever that his friends died because of him…
"No, I have strict orders from Professor Dumbledore himself, Sirius. I am to not let this little one out of my sight until I get to 4 Privet Drive…"
"What? With Petunia?" Sirius spat out. "He doesn't belong there! She'll probably pitch him over a cliff and claim she never knew the poor kid!"
"It's not my decision," Hagrid said firmly. "I know they're Muggles, and trust me, I'd rather Harry live with a pack of wolves than with an unknowledgeable Muggle, but this is his family. They'll be kind and understanding and Harry will grow up in the Muggle world where he belongs and where he is needed."
Sirius shook his head. "No…no. You can't do this. It's not fair to him. He deserves to know who he really is. Who his parents were. He deserves to grow up with people that love him and will give him the best that he needs. That's me…and Remus. Together we will make Lily and James prouder than they'd ever be. This is only fair to them…and to me. You can't take him away," Sirius cracked.
Hagrid looked at the solemn Sirius and almost gave in. Sirius' face was pleading with forgiveness and determination. Hagrid knew he was right but there was nothing he could do.
"Please, Hagrid," Sirius begged. "I can't let him go."
Hagrid shook his overbearing head with guilt. He wanted to give Harry to Sirius, but deep inside he knew that Dumbledore was right. Harry still has family and that's where he needed to be for the next eleven years. "I'm sorry, Sirius, but there's nothing that I can do."
Sirius' face dropped. He knew that this was good-bye. He couldn't deal with that. First, saying good-bye to James and Lily and now their son, as well. The one thing that could ever remind him of his best friends. It wasn't fair…life wasn't fair.
Sirius glanced at the sleepy Harry and a huge lump formed in his throat. Harry was loved…not just by the Potters, but by him. Harry would never know that, but it was the truth. Harry deserved more than the life Dumbledore was giving him, but Sirius couldn't overlook Dumbledore. Sirius couldn't fight him nor argue or debate. He knew Dumbledore wouldn't change his mind…if only Dumbledore could know that it was all Sirius' fault. Sirius just wanted to make things right again…he wanted to do that one meaningful task for James and Lily that meant the world to them. He told James that he'd do anything for him to make James happy, and lately it hasn't been that way. First, Sirius took away his job of Secret-Keeper, and now they're taking away his chance to be a father to Harry. It was too much to handle…he hated it. Every single bit of it.
"Fine," Sirius whispered with a sigh. "Take my motorcycle. It's in the front. I'll apparate home. Just be careful," Sirius instructed.
Hagrid turned to the grave man standing beside him and realized just how much he's actually lost that month. Hagrid sighed and gave Sirius a sympathetic smile. "Your motorcycle? Are you sure? You love that thing!"
Sirius hesitated before answering. "Yeah, but I love Harry more."
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
Sirius wandered around for another hour or so, just thinking about the past month…in fact, he couldn't help but think about the past twenty-eight years.
Everything has changed so much since he was a little kid. He used to think that his father was superman and that he could save the world with just a touch of his finger. His father used to be Sirius' hero and now…now there was no one to depend on, except for himself. He was all alone in the world and he never expected it to end up this way…especially at the age of twenty-eight.
When he got into Hogwarts, he always knew he'd be a troublemaker. He and James were born to irritate everyone that stepped in front of them, and they did just that. But he met Savannah and realized life wasn't all about pranks. That there were other things in life making it worthwhile…the name of Savannah Lydia Turner. No one ever made him that happy…that friendly…that lovable. Savannah turned him around into a good person…kind-hearted and devoted. He always knew she was the one and the day she became Savannah Black, he realized he was right. But not just about that…but also about hitting the peak of happiness. Savannah made him happier than a puppy made a four-year-old girl happy…it's as simple as that. There were complications, of course, but it all came down to the fact that Savannah was worth every single moment of pain in his life.
And Elizabeth…and Leigh. They added to the big picture. They'll always add to the big picture, and if Elizabeth was ever taken away from him, Sirius would have no idea how to live. Elizabeth made everything all worthwhile…
Sirius glanced up at the darkening sky, realizing that it was getting later and he hadn't eaten for hours. He sighed.
It's not like it matters, anyway… Sirius couldn't help but think.
First it was his mother…it started off with her. It started off something that Sirius wished were never started in the first place…a chain of unfortunate deaths that affected the people around him…and himself personally.
Then there was Minnie…He hadn't known her well, but she was still a part of his life.
Then Mr. Potter…the father that Sirius never had. Sirius considered Mr. Potter his own family and know he has no father at all.
And then…then Kaitlynne…only a few weeks ago…Another one of his friends succumbed to an unfortunate death.
And then…and then…then came Savannah and Leigh. A slight tear stroked his cheek, followed by a clutter of them in remembrance of the one thing that made him truly happy. He loved them with all of his heart. He knew that he'd never, ever get over Savannah. Not only was she the love of his life but she made his life worth living. She made everything else seem trivial.
And then there was Allie, Josh, Jenna, and Cole…his friends. Four more people he had to worry about…
And then came Caroline Potter…the mother he never had. Again, as if a part of his family was torn apart.
And then his father and sister…not that it mattered. He thought they were dead years ago…in fact, he hoped they were dead years ago, but they were still two more people that had died because of him and his unfortunate situation.
Then his neighbors…his neighbors. Quite random if you asked him, but that was how Voldemort did everything.
And then the last two people on his list of family. The last two people that ever mattered to him. The last two people that were all he had left. The last of his hope…his dreams…his confidence. And now they were gone. James and Lily Potter…………
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed
And every single person, except for one, had died because of Voldemort!! It wasn't a coincidence…it was all done purposely to aggravate Lily and James…and himself. Maybe irritating Sirius wasn't intentional, but Voldemort did a very good job at it anyway. If Voldemort was standing right in front of Sirius, Sirius probably would have killed him in moments just due to his pent-up anger and frustration.
The rain was letting up a bit, and even though it was still coming down, Sirius barely noticed. The only things running through his mind were the events of that day. Starting from the article in the morning, to the sudden and fearful visit of James, Lily, and Harry, to the realization of Remus' lies, to Peter becoming the Secret-Keeper, to…to the two tragic deaths of James Potter and Lily Evans-Potter.
Finally, Sirius knew what to do.
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
Peter wore a smile as he walked down the busy streets of London. He finally did the one thing he was asked to do since day one of training. He remained by Voldemort's side through everything and let out the secrets of all of his friends…or people who he called friends. They weren't his friends anymore. They never believed in him. They never had confidence in him. They let him tag along and did everything for him. They always thought he was a weakling…a failure…a simple, nonexistent rat. But, no, he was more. He was always more!!
The moment the charm was performed, Peter didn't go home. He didn't call Sirius or Remus. He knew what he had to do…go straight to his Master. And he did just that. Never in his entire lifetime did he feel so wanted. Voldemort praised him more than a thousand times and made Peter finally realize that he was powerful. He could make anything happen, and he did just that.
He was satisfied…
Peter, as well as the rest of the world, didn't know why Voldemort wasn't able to kill the child. A child, for God's sake!! No one will probably ever know why it happened, but Voldemort was gone…disappeared…in hiding. Where? No one will know until he has the power and the strength to walk. Which won't be for a very long time, if Peter assumed correctly.
But it didn't matter. Yes, Peter was intimidated by Voldemort…but wasn't everyone? Now that he has disappeared without a trace, Peter would be able to live in peace.
The whole wizardry and witchcraft world knew about the events of that night…not who was personally involved, but Wizard news traveled fast. Especially on televisions and radios. Peter was just lucky he wasn't caught. But he loved hearing the deaths of James and Lily being repeated over and over again…he loved hearing that Voldemort had run off and nowhere to be found…he loved every minute of it. Why?? Because he did that!! Innocent, small, unnoticeable Peter Pettigrew was in the scheme of it all. And no one was going to stop him from doing more to the world.
"PETER RAFAEL PETTIGREW!!" a voice boomed out from far behind him.
Peter whipped around in confusion and saw an enraged Sirius Black in front of him. Peter gasped at the sight of Sirius and in one look in Sirius' infuriated eyes, he realized that Sirius knew what happened. Sirius knew Peter was the one giving Voldemort information. Sirius knew Peter had gone straight to Voldemort after the charm was performed. Sirius knew Peter had pragmatically killed James and Lily. And know Peter knew he was in trouble…more trouble than he's probably ever been in with Voldemort.
But Peter didn't run like he probably should have. No, he stay put glued to the middle of the back-road and waited for Sirius. Peter had never felt that powerful than before and he knew it was finally the time to stand up to the one person he always felt slightly fearful of. The one person he considered a friend was never a true friend to him anyway. He stood still and smirked, wanting to ruin Sirius the same was Sirius ruined him throughout Hogwarts.
Sirius met up with Peter with his wand in his hand. Peter put his hand in his pocket and touched his, just to know that it was there and he was somewhat safe.
"I know you did it," Sirius said hoarsely with a look of malevolence worn on his face.
Peter didn't say anything. What could he have said?
"I've never been this angry before, Pettigrew," Sirius spat out, raising his voice a bit, gripping his wand tighter. "Not just at you, but at anyone!!"
Peter still didn't reply.
"Well? Aren't you going to say something? You've got to have some last words before I blow you to smithereens!"
"I don't deny it," Peter said, with a playful grin on his face.
"You better not!!!"
"It's true. I killed them…and Allie and Josh and your neighbors and Mrs. and Mr. Potter and…and Savannah."
Sirius stood there in shock as he heard his wife's name being said. It was true. Peter killed his wife…he killed his one true love!
Sirius glared at Peter venomously and gripped the wand even tighter, turning his knuckled as white as a ghost as he started trembling in sadness and anger. "I hate you with passion, Peter. I always thought you'd be a nothing. Just a person in the crowd, tagging along. I can't believe how wrong I was, and I hate knowing that I'm going to have to kill one of my friends, but-"
"Friend? I'm not your friend!! You never saw me as the friend-type. You were the high-and-almighty Sirius Black who never gave a second glance my way."
"Yeah, and if I would have known it would have ended up this way, I never would have become friends with you in the first place."
"I don't need your lecture or your explanations, Black! I've been doing fine without you for as long as I could remember."
"You call this 'fine?'" Sirius spat. "No, I call this destructive. Hazardous. Appalling. Offensive. Sickening. Repulsive. Nauseating. But, 'fine' was not included!"
"Yeah, but you weren't on Voldemort's side, were you? Peter smirked.
"No, and thank God for that!" Sirius hissed. "That's what my father was known for…and I disowned him years ago. I never thought you'd be in the same exact position he was…but I'm not going to disown you this time. I'm simply going to kill you…"
"So? Am I actually supposed to believe that?? What are you going to do about it, Sirius Black?" Peter cried. "There are hundreds of Muggles around staring us in the eye. You can't do anything to me with them surrounding us."
Sirius narrowed his eyes and took a deep breath in and out full of hostility. "I don't care about anything except killing you off. An eye for an eye…"
Peter threw back his head and let a deep, sinister, booming laugh into the crowd of people. "And how are you going to do that?" Peter cried, pulling out his wand. "The Ministry is running this way, Black."
Sirius turned around, and sure enough there stood twelve Ministry members dressed in robes running their way.
Peter continued. "And if my calculations are correct, they're after you. Dumbledore…Remus…they think you caused it. You were their 'Secret-Keeper'…remember?" Peter smirked.
Sirius knew he was right, but Sirius didn't care. He didn't' want to think about anything but the matter at hand…and his built-up anger.
He pulled out his wand farther out in front of him, but Peter was too quick for Sirius…for anyone around him.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!!"
And Peter Pettigrew was gone.
A/N: ARGH! I hate Peter sooooooooo much!!!! I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!! I hate what he did to the Potters and I hate that he was still able to get away in the third Harry Potter book!!! That song was "I Dreamed a Dream," from Les Miserables (great musical!! 2nd to RENT, that is.) REVIEW PLEASE!
