A/N: I know, I know, it's been a while, but I've just been perfecting these last two chapters, just to make it an absolutely PERFECT ending, if I may say so myself.  (I really like the way the epilogue turned out so I can't wait to post it.  Hopefully that will be soon!!)  Anyway, these last two chapters are winding it all down.  The heartbreak has made it's claim and now it's time for more surprises.  Get ready to cry for Remus because that's all who's left…….

Sidenote….so my friends and I were talking today during lunch about the Harry Potter series and we found out that some colleges actually have Harry Potter classes where they just sit and read Harry Potter and then analyze and discuss for hours and days.  How awesome is that!?!?  I soooo want to do that!  (Congratulate me because I got into my two top college choices, now I just have to make my decision….)

Disclaimer: Everything you don't recognize belongs to moi, and everything else belongs to the wonderfully infamous J.K. Rowling (who had better come out with her next book soon!)

MEMORIES

CHAPTER 39: And Then There Was One 

Written by ByeByeBirdie

            Remus sighed.  He looked at the digital clock and it was blinking 12:00 along with "GO TO SLEEP" on the bottom.  He knew the clock was right and that Remus should be going to sleep, considering he was exhausted and miserable and aggravated and confused and…about ready to grab his head, yank it off his neck and flush it down the toilet.  But he didn't do that.  He figured that it might be just a bit gruesome.

            He was waiting for a call.  He just wanted to know Lily and James were alright.  He didn't know how long the procedure would take, but he knew it was long enough and that it didn't take twelve hours.  But what was Remus supposed to do?  He called Lily and James a million times, and no answer.  He called Peter, and still no answer.  He even tried contacting Sirius a few times that evening, but Rosmerta simply answered the phone and said that Sirius was out taking care of business and probably wouldn't be back for a long while. 

            What the heck did that mean?? Remus thought.  He understood that Sirius had a procedure to do, but it had to be over by now! 

            Remus furrowed his brow and sighed.  Instead of crawling into bed, like he should have done, he sauntered down the stairs at a slow pace.  He was tired of reading.  No good was coming out of that.  He ended up staring at the ceiling for endless amounts of time anyway.

            He peeked in on Landon a few times, but every time he did that, Landon was sound asleep.  Remus only did it to take up time.  He stared at Landon the fifth time he checked on him and smiled.  Landon reminded him so much of Kaitlynne, in every way possible.  Remus always knew that Kaitlynne would be a memory, especially now since he realized she was still living through Landon.

            At around one o'clock in the morning, Remus dozed off, unaware of the events of the earlier night.  If only he knew ahead of time…if only………

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Remus woke up early the next morning.  It was only four o'clock, ("WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP?  IT'S TOO EARLY!") and it took a while for Remus to register why he was sleeping on the couch with his clothes from the previous day still on his body.

            Remus looked towards the phone, which still remained untouched and rubbed his eyes so he could see everything without a blurry side.  Why haven't they called me!? Remus thought angrily, almost ready to lash out in frustration.  His friends should know that he was worrying about them right now and yet they haven't had the decency to call by now!!

            Remus sighed and almost immediately, Landon started wailing at the top of his lungs, like his every morning ritual.  Remus stumbled up the stairs and into his room, where Landon was sleeping in his crib beside the bed.  He picked Landon up and held him for a few minutes before he finally calmed down a bit.

            Remus fed him and changed him before Remus realized there was absolutely no coffee in the house.  Now, normally this wouldn't be so terrible if you like a harried, irate, disturbed, screaming Remus on your case, but Remus would rather make his morning a little more calm than it has been so far.

            "C'mon, Landon, sweetheart," Remus said soothingly.  "You and I need to go take a trip into Hogsmeade so that Daddy could go through the day without falling asleep."

            Remus decided to start work very soon and needed to go into the office early that morning to sign his name up again for his programs.  He felt bad for skipping out on so much work but everyone at work understood, his boss the most.  He knew it was time to get back into his usual routine, the one he had before Kaitlynne was diagnosed with cancer.  He was almost excited to go back to work, just so he could get everything else off his mind.

            Thinking about work actually made Remus felt guilty.  Lately, he hasn't been the best friend to Sirius or Peter or James or even Lily, and he even resulted to distantly lying to them about his whereabouts.  He was still thinking about Kaitlynne, which made him feel, yet again, guilty.  Remus has missed work for the past two months…ever since Kaitlynne had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer in late June.  He spent day and night by her side and barely let her walk anywhere.  He kept her in bed and took care of her…and the baby.  When Landon showed up earlier than they all expected, Remus was scared.  He wasn't sure if Kaitlynne could do it, but she did and she showed not only him but also every single doctor at the hospital.  Unfortunately, as a result of her fatigue and strength-drainage and because of her disease, Kaitlynne didn't have enough energy to keep on with her life.

            So, when Kaitlynne died, Remus blamed it on himself.  He couldn't take it…he couldn't deal with it.  Kaitlynne was his life, and even though he realizes now he couldn't have done anything to prevent her oncoming death, he still felt like he could have kept her in bed longer and gave her more fluids…or something. 

            So, Remus visited her grave more than often enough and left Landon with his friends, claiming to go into work.  The truth is…he hasn't stepped in his work building or area in two months.  He hasn't even thought about it.  His thoughts were focused on Kaitlynne and Landon lately.

            And now they were focused on his best friends and how they were getting by.

            Speaking of…..why haven't they called yet!?!?!?

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            When Remus entered the Three Broomsticks, he knew something was going on.  It was only four-thirty in the morning, and the place was jam-packed.  There was not a table open in sight, and people were spilling into the pathways and sitting on the bar table and the stage in the corner and in the pool tables.  They were all cheering and staring at the television and every so often, someone would start toasting to something or rather.

            Remus knew something was going on…he just didn't know what.

            "Excuse me, what's going on?" Remus asked, tapping the first person he saw on the shoulder.

            "You mean you don't know!?" the person gasped.

            The whole place got quiet and stared at Remus like he was transforming into a werewolf or something.

            "It's He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!" someone cried.

            "Disappeared!"

            "Gone!"

            "Powerless!!"

            "Defenseless!!"

            Remus dropped his jaws.  "What!?"

            They all started cheering again, without noticing Remus standing there anymore asking simple-minded questions.  Remus stared at everyone in complete shock.  But…but how??

            It couldn't be possible… Remus thought.  James and Lily were just talking about him yesterday and he seemed out to get them and now…what????

            It didn't make any sense.  Nothing was fitting.  It was like trying to fit the pieces together, except with twenty different jigsaw puzzles, and more than a thousand detailed different pieces. 

            But Remus smiled slowly.  It had to be true.  There wouldn't be hundreds of people in one restaurant if it were thought to be a rumor.  Remus stared at the television that was blaring loudly and clearly and Remus cheered unintentionally…a little late.  But better late than never.

            The looks on the news-anchors faces' were priceless.  They weren't happy…they were overjoyed!  And so was everybody else!  Everyone was smiling and cheering! Calling out things that were probably not appropriate, but Remus didn't care.  He joined in.  He didn't know how it happened, but Voldemort was gone and that was the true thing to remember!

            Remus searched the room…not for anything particular.  But he saw Rosmerta in the corner, and he tried to walk over to her, wriggling in and out of people. He slowly made his way to the bar where she was standing behind the counter in the corner with a grim look on her face, which made Remus even more suspicious of the whole situation.  She was probably the ONLY person in there with a frown on her face.

            "Rosmerta…" Remus said, patting her arm.

            She snapped out of her trance and stared at Remus as if she didn't recognize him.

            "Rosmerta, are you okay?"

            She sighed and shrugged her shoulders.  "I don't know."

            "What is this about Voldemort?  Wh-why is he gone??  What happened??"

            She looked at him strangely.  "You…you haven't heard?" she cried astounded.  "I figured you'd be one of the first people to know…"

            "Well, obviously not, so please spare me some time of finding out from someone else and tell me!" Remus said with an aggravated look on his face.

            She sighed and looked up at him.  "It's the Potters…"

            Remus abruptly turned his head to look her directly in the eyes.  "James and Lily?  What about them?"

            "You-Know-You…well, it was most unfortunate, but he…he killed them early yesterday evening," she whispered.

            Remus dropped his trembling jaw in shock.  No, no…not them also.  It couldn't be…it wasn't fair.  Why was this happening all so quickly!? 

            He gasped suddenly realizing that the jigsaw puzzle was beginning to fit…and he didn't like it one bit.

Memory, all alone in the moonlight

I can smile at the old days

I was beautiful then

I remember the time I knew what happiness was

Let the memory live again

             "N-no…it can't be."

            She nodded cautiously and gently.  "I'm afraid so…"

            Remus looked away as the tears built up inside of his eyelids.  "It's not possible…they were in hiding…" he murmured.

            She shook her head.  "It's true.  He got there without a moment to spare and did it hastily."

            "But…why is everyone cheering?  And why has he disappeared, supposedly powerless?  How would Lily and James stop Voldemort?"

            "That's the amazing part," Rosmerta said, a slow grin spreading on to her face.  "He turned towards Harry, you know—their son-"

            "I know who he is," Remus said hastily.

            Rosmerta gave him an impatient face and continued.  "Well, he tried killing Harry, but Harry provided some sort of shield or something and Voldemort couldn't kill him.  Why?  No one knows, but it happened. He just got a measly lightning-bolt shaped scar on his forehead, to remember this sacred event for all of the years to come."

            Remus' mouth dropped.  "Ha-Harry??

            Rosmerta smiled.  "Yes.  Little Harry Potter, only a few weeks old had managed to drain all of You-Know-Who's power and energy from his body.  How?  Why?  No one knows."

            Remus was in shock.  He and nothing to say at this point…or rather he had too much to say and not sure where to start.

            "You-Know-Who barely got away before supposedly Sirius Black and Rubeus Hagrid showed up at the scene…" she said, adding the last part with much sorrow.

             "Wait, Sirius showed up??"

            Rosmerta frowned and looked away.  "Yeah, he called me to baby-sit, and ran off.  Unfortunately, that is the ill-fated part to this wonderful event, as it so happens."

            Remus frowned.  Sirius…but…but he was their Secret-Keeper.  He couldn't do such a thing…no, he wouldn't!!! Remus thought furiously.  Would he?

            Remus looked up with a startled face, suddenly realizing that Sirius must have been intertwined with the whole situation.  But Remus refused to believe it.  No, it wasn't possible.  Sirius was Sirius.  Remus' funny, smart, good-looking, sarcastic friend that will always be funny, smart, good-looking, and sarcastic.  Sirius Black just doesn't turn evil at the snap of a finger.  Sirius couldn't have been a backstabber…..no, he couldn't believe it.  He wouldn't believe it!  

            "But, where is Sirius now?  You were baby-sitting for Elizabeth last night, so you must know something," Remus asked, afraid to hear the answer.  But Remus had to know what had happened.  If not for himself…for the Potters.

            Rosmerta bowed her head down with grief.  "Sirius met up with Peter Pettigrew later last-"

            "Peter was involved??"

            "No…well, in a way he was, I guess…"

            "Well, what happened?  Why was Peter there?"

            Rosmerta sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.  "Supposedly he showed Sirius up and tried to defend himself and the rest of the world."

            Remus sighed.  This is all so much more complicated than he figured.  First, his best friends dying…now Sirius as the culprit?  He didn't like the thought of it…but all of the evidence was pointing towards his direction. 

            "But Sirius was too quick and he not only blew Peter up, but killed over ten people on the scene…Muggles," Rosmerta said with a shudder.

            Remus didn't know what to do…or what to say.  He was truly alone now…no friends…no confidence…no spirit.  First, Lily and James…then Peter…and the fact that Sirius turned around as caused it all…well, Remus wasn't about to praise him for that.  All that was left was Landon…

Every street lamp seems to beat

A fatalistic warning

Someone mutters and a street lamp gutters

And soon it will be morning

             "The ministry showed up at the scene only seconds later, and it took seven of them to hold Sirius down.  He was brought to Azkaban last night and that's where he shall remain for over eternity," Rosmerta explained.

            This was too much to handle in a period of seconds.  One death was enough for him to deal with, but there were three plus the imprisonment of Sirius and ten Muggles??  It just…it just wasn't fair.

            "James…Lily?  And…and Sirius?  Peter?" Remus gasped breathlessly.  All of his friends were…were gone.

            Rosmerta simply nodded gravely.

            "But…but…what about Elizabeth!?" Remus finally had the courage to say, not wanting to hear any more bad news about his supposed best friends.  Elizabeth? Remus thought, mentally hitting himself.  Of all the things you could right about now, you chose to ask about Elizabeth???

            "Dumbledore showed up last night around ten o'clock, and I knew immediately something was wrong.  He was to take Elizabeth in, until a home was given to her.  Actually, he was looking for you.  He figured you'd might was to be her guardian."

            Remus roared with laughter.  "No way!  There is no way in hell I would take the child of a madman and a criminal.  I don't care if he used to be one of my best friends.  He's not anymore…he'll never be anymore.  Especially after murdering three of my other closest friends.  If the evidence wasn't staring me straight in the eye, all leaning towards Sirius, I never would have believed it.  But…but I know it's true.  Everything fits.  Especially, since I hold inside information that  proves Sirius is to blame for this big mess," Remus muttered angrily.  "No, I refuse to take care of Elizabeth.  She may be only a child, but she belonged to Sirius.  I don't want to have to wake up and stare her straight in the eye, only to be reminded of this whole mess.  I'm not going to be the one to tell her in the years to come what happened to her father."

            Rosmerta nodded, and patted Remus' arm.  "I understand…and Dumbledore would understand.  His other option was Daniel Marx."

            A lump formed in his throat.  He had forgotten about Daniel, until this moment, but Elizabeth would probably be better off with an abandoner than a person who was best friends with a murderer. 

            "Okay…" Remus cracked.

            Twenty minutes later, Remus had left with the intended coffee…and a whole lot more with him.  The place was still packed with people and showed no sign of letting up. 

            He sighed.  This was it…his dead-end.  There was nowhere to go and nothing to do.  He was on his own now and there was nothing to do about that.  He thought he had hit rock-bottom when Kaitlynne had died but she was just the beginning.  Now he was simply a no one, walking down the streets into a pit of despair.  His life was quickly coming to an unfortunate end and he didn't know what to do.  He knew there was nothing to do; he was living on his own, shielded from his future and his fate and now he had to pay for a disastrous past.

            Remus walked into the darkness and into the lifeless streets with Landon in his eyes, who was fast asleep.  There was no one else on the streets.  It was completely vacant. He could hear every cricket chirp, every crunch of a leaf, every swoosh of the trees, every creak of the signs, every muffled cheer coming from the bars and restaurants.  He saw every flicker of the street lights, every twinkle of the faded stars, every sway of the trees, every crawling bug, every movement from inside the restaurants and bars.  But it all reminded him of the fact that he was outside…he'll always be on the outside.

            The noises…the sights…the people.  They were everywhere…staring him in the face. Surrounding him with the memories of everything.  Everyone

            They were informing him of the tragedies.  Not just one tragedy…many tragedies.  Many heart-stopping, earth-shattering, shock-revealing, fearful, inessential misfortunes that were simply reminding Remus of who he really is…who he always was.  He was stranded, alone, and heart-broken…and there was no one to turn to.  He was living a life of emptiness and desolation like he had in the beginning…like he figured he'd have forever.

            But…Hogwarts changed who he was.  Remus was given a chance.  A chance to fit in.  A chance to be someone and to do something and to go somewhere.  Of course, Dumbledore did it all because he always did it all…he was always there making everyone happy, but it wasn't only Dumbledore.  It was those friends that he's always known. 

            Those friends that made him believe that when there was a will, there was a way.  They didn't neglect him and refused to exclude him out of their lives.  Instead, they did the one thing Remus would never have believed they did, unless he wasn't there.  They not only became his friends…they became Animagi.  Why?  For him.  Remus became stronger because of them.  He earned the energy and the power to finally resist against further weaknesses.   He wouldn't be where he was or who he was without them…and now there's no one left to prove it.

            A tear fell from Remus' soft, shadowed eyes slowly and painfully in remembrance of those people who made a difference.  His friends.  They meant everything to him, and he'd never forget it.

            Another tear fell from Remus, and he leaned against the lamppost to hold himself up.  He looked up and was greeted by light rain.  He watched it drift slowly to the ground with a 'plop.'

            Plop.  Plop

            Remus hated the loneliness…the darkness…the melancholy.  It was so quiet, and there was nothing Remus could do about it.  This was how his life was going to be.  Remus looked up into the vast sky and cried out furiously and unexpectedly.  He screamed…he yelled…he shouted.  What else was there to do?  The extensive sky was staring him in his face and laughing at him…reminding him that the world was so enormous, but that he was just one irrelevant person in the world of zillions.  He didn't make a difference.  He was one worthless man put on that earth to be tortured.  And tortured, he was.  Everything was downhill from there.  The peak of his domination and superiority was no longer pertinent.  Nothing mattered anymore…nothing.

            And the boundless, vast, dismal sky reminded him of it.  The stars were worthless, just like he was.  Remus felt like he could have done something to salvage James and Lily, but it was too late.  Everything was done and in the past.  And there he stood…completely shunned from the rest of the world.  He had a secret…the deep, dark past that would remain unextensive.  And now, that's where his friends remained.  In a fearful secret that no one in the world will ever understand.  

            How could Sirius do that? Remus though.  Sirius Black…my friendJAMES' friend!!

            Remus would never have believed it.  Sirius and James were inseparable.  They did everything together and went everywhere together.  Why would Sirius turn over to the dark-side?  Why!?  He was so innocent…so young…so free. Everything was going to change now.  Everything was going to be different…desolate…quiet…awkward…altered...

            Living a life of memories…

Daylight, I must wait for the sunrise

I must think of a new life

And I mustn't give in

When the dawn comes,

Tonight will be a memory, too

And a new day will begin

A/N: Sigh  Poor Remus.  He has no one left :-( But it's true.  Life is just full of memories that will always remind us of who we are.  "Tonight will be a memory, too, and a new day will begin."  ["Memory," from the musical Cats.]  That's my all-time favorite quote, because it makes the most sense.

One more chapter left, but this really is the ending.  This really shows you what the whole story is about.  Please review.

Love always, ByeByeBirdie…..