Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to the OC or it's characters.
AN: This is a stand-alone. It's open for updating but I'm not promising anything. This is my attempt at a Summer/Ryan fic. It's an old one that I was working on that finally came together for me. Hope you enjoy.
"You are secondhand smoke
You are so fragile and thin
Standing trial for your sins
Holding onto yourself the best that you can
You are the smell before rain.
You are the blood in my veins…"
--Brand New
Ryan is alone in the pool house again. The past few weeks, he's been alone a lot. In Chino, he loved being alone. It would be quiet and he could actually relax without his mother's verbal barbs and her boyfriend of the week's angry fists. Here in Newport, he's gotten used to constant company and the lack of Seth's chatter is actually chilling for him. He studies. Seth goes out with Anna. Ryan studies. He doesn't need to study, he's actually ahead, but when he's not working, he has nothing and no one. Seth comes back and talks about Anna. Ryan listens. Ryan studies.
Marissa, once the center of his existence, is on a trip with her father to Europe. They talk about twice a week but she won't be back for weeks.
Sandy and Kirsten are fighting. A lot. Ryan doesn't even venture into the main house unless it's for a meal or a scheduled meeting with his attorney. He hadn't imagined living with the Cohens would be like this, but he's adjusted to it.
Ryan doesn't feel like being alone tonight. The music blasting in his ears is not taking the edge off his growing depression and restlessness. He sees Sandy and Kirsten fighting in the kitchen so he scratches going into the main house for interaction. He grabs his jacket and disappears into the night.
*****
The next morning, Seth comes down for breakfast, tired as usual.
"Morning, son. How was your night?"
"Long. Where's Ryan?"
"Not up yet…" Sandy replies as Kirsten walks in with a puzzled look on her face.
"He's not here. The bed hasn't been slept in. I didn't even know he went out last night…" Kirsten admits.
The door closes behind her. "I didn't go out last night. I just made the bed." Ryan startles them by appearing with his backpack.
"You didn't answer when I called you…" Kirsten protests.
"I must have been in the shower. What's up?" Ryan asks, sitting down and not meeting their eyes.
"Kids, we haven't really been around that much lately, how's everything?" Sandy asks, putting an arm around Kirsten. They must have made up.
Ryan shrugs. Seth lapses into an animated story about Anna and her car. Ryan drinks his coffee.
"What about you and Marissa?" Kirsten asks, trying to involve Ryan in the conversation.
Ryan regards her. "She's in France."
"What?" Seth asks.
"With her dad. She's been gone for two weeks," Ryan responds.
"Oh…man, what have you been doing?" Seth asks. "Why didn't you say anything?"
Ryan shrugs.
"What does that mean?"
Ryan glances at Seth.
Kirsten and Sandy are startled. They realized that they had been neglecting their boys but didn't know that they had missed this large a piece of information.
"Ryan?"
"What? It's no big deal, Seth. She calls. I get postcards. It's good for her to spend time with her dad." Ryan finishes his coffee and puts the cup in the sink. "I need to get to school, I'll see you guys later."
Ryan disappears before anyone can speak.
"You don't drive him to school anymore?" Kirsten asks quietly.
"No…I though Marissa picked him up," Seth replies slowly. "I guess we've all been a little distracted."
Ryan dozes in his classes, tired from his trip to the beach the previous night. He walked down, intending to score some alcohol and drink himself to sleep but he ran into an old friend from Chino. It ended up turning into a reunion as the friend called all his other old friends and they had a bonfire on the beach, drinking and catching up. Ryan was in the shower when Kirsten came to wake him, but he didn't sleep there.
"Hey. What's up?"
Ryan nods to Seth, sitting down beside him on the quad at lunch.
"Are you mad at me?" Seth asks quietly.
"What? Should I be mad at you?" Ryan replies.
"Seth Cohen. What are you doing here? Where's your better half?" Summer sits down beside Ryan.
"Visiting my brother," Seth responds, surprised at her presence. Ryan glances at him with his use of the word 'brother'.
"What do you have today?" Summer asks Ryan, ignoring Seth. Ryan tosses her his lunch bag.
"You guys share lunch?" Seth asks, surprised. Ryan shrugs. Summer starts to eat Ryan's lunch. She hands him a bottle of juice.
"Somebody's got to keep Ryan company since you abandoned him to chase after that slut," Summer says.
"Hey," Seth protests, stricken.
"Guys. Come on." Ryan's eyes drift past Seth. "Seth. You're being summoned."
Seth glances back and sees Anna waving at him. He has to go.
"Why do you put up with that?" Summer asks, seriously.
"He's not doing anything wrong. He's happy," Ryan shrugs. Summer shakes her head at him.
"He ditched you for a girl. Does he even know Marissa's gone?"
Ryan shrugs again.
"I see why silence suits you."
Ryan smiles.
*****
Despite the brief interest in Ryan, things return to normal within a week. Seth has problems with Anna and is rarely home. Kirsten and Sandy are having issues again and are never home. Ryan finds himself hanging out with his old friends more. He enjoys feeling like he belongs with them and they don't make fun of his new status. Drinking, smoking, making jokes and just not worrying about his probation or school.
Tonight, their partying reached a different level. One of his friends had gotten enraged about something and started an all-out brawl. One kid had fallen into the bonfire but fortunately, Ryan escaped with only a black eye and an awful scrape on his arm from sliding across the pavement.
Ryan checks himself out in the pool house mirror, wincing at the darkening bruise. He needs a good excuse for breakfast but he's too tired to think of it right now. He grabs a bag of ice from the mini-fridge and puts it over his eye.
Ryan is cold when he wakes up. The ice bag has melted and soaked his bed. The sun is up and Ryan realizes after glancing at the blaring alarm clock that he is late for school. No one even noticed that he was missing from breakfast. He shrugs and starts to change his sheets.
"What are you still doing here? What happened to your face?" Kirsten startles him as he goes into the kitchen to get something to eat.
"Oh, I wiped out on my bike," Ryan lies, showing her his damaged arm.
"Ryan, don't lie to me…"
Ryan doesn't respond immediately. "Why do you assume I'm lying?"
Kirsten pauses. "Because your face isn't scratched like it came into contact with the pavement. It's bruised like it came into contact with a fist."
Ryan nods, accepting. "I broke up a fight. Well, I tried to break it up. It got kind of heated."
"Where were you?" Kirsten asks.
Ryan shrugs. "Out with friends."
"Friends that fight?"
Ryan meets her gaze steadily. "I'm not getting into trouble, Mrs. Cohen. I promise."
Kirsten examines him for a moment. "You haven't been getting much attention, lately, Ryan. Is everything okay?"
"Fine," Ryan replies.
Kirsten is chilled by the indifference in his voice. "Maybe you shouldn't go to school today, Ryan. You want to spend the day with me?"
Ryan regards her. Her phone rings. She turns away from him, answering the beckoning cell phone. She steps from the room, talking business.
Ryan drinks some leftover coffee but decides to take Kirsten's advice. No school today. He knows where his friends will be. He doesn't want to deal with Seth and Summer's questioning anyway.
*****
"This sucks, man! I swear to god, I don't understand women at all!" Seth announces, waking him from a drunken slumber on the bed. Ryan winces at the brightness as Seth turns on the light.
"Seth," Ryan mumbles, not sitting up.
"She tells me to try harder, so I try harder. She's all happy and then, like a light switch, she's turned off again…dammit, Ryan, I can't believe that this drama is my life…" Seth complains.
"Sorry," Ryan mutters.
Seth continues to ramble while Ryan finally finds the energy to sit up. Seth is still talking.
"Why don't you go ahead and call her?" Ryan asks, holding his head.
"What? Call her…huh…hey. What happened to you?"
"Nothing." Ryan swings his legs off the bed and staggers slightly as he stands up.
"What's up with you? You're drunk…"
"Yep. Got it in one," Ryan laughs.
"Damn…I really haven't been paying attention…Ryan…" Seth's face is tight with concern.
"It's no big deal. I overslept for school today so I decided to cut. No big deal, okay?" Ryan mutters, staggering to the bathroom.
"Ryan…where'd you go all day?" Seth asks, following him down the hall.
Ryan meets his gaze for a cold second. "I was with friends. You know, people that you hang out with because you like their company? Yeah. Friends." He closes the door.
"Ryan? Come on, man…"
"I'll see you tomorrow," Ryan calls through the door.
Seth doesn't tell his parents about his disturbing encounter, they are arguing quietly in the kitchen.
Seth meets Ryan in the pool house early the next morning.
"What?" Ryan asks, his toothbrush still in his mouth.
"Let's hang out."
"I can't. I have to go to school."
"You didn't have to go to school yesterday," Seth retorts.
Ryan turns to him. "What's your deal?"
"I feel like we're not even friends anymore, Ryan," Seth admits. "I've been so caught up with Anna that I haven't been paying any attention to you."
"I don't need your 'attention', Seth. It's cool. I'm glad she makes you happy."
"But…"
"Listen. I'm fine. Everything's fine. Don't freak out, Seth." Ryan pulls a jacket on to cover his scraped arm. He turns back to Seth. "I didn't expect you to baby-sit me forever. You've got a life, too."
Seth is stunned as Ryan walks away from him.
*****
"Ryan? Where were you yesterday?" Summer asks, joining him on the quad. They've been having lunch together since Marissa's vacation started. Summer refused to fall back in with the Newport society after their alienation of Marissa and surprisingly, Ryan and Summer enjoy each other's company. "Ooh, nowhere nice."
"Nah, it wasn't that bad." Ryan pauses. "I ran into some old friends and we've been hanging out. There was a little battle the other night and I got caught with some stray damage."
"Stray damage. Nice way to put it. But you're okay, right?" Summer asks.
"Yeah. Seth's all weird about it, but it's cool," He replies. Summer relaxes against him. He leans against the tree they sit under every day and closes his eyes.
"Well, if you need someone to talk to, Chino, I'm here. God knows there's nobody else in this damn school to talk to since Marissa's gone."
"I'm honored, Summer, but you know…"
"Yeah, you don't talk."
Ryan smiles at her. "Why don't you come out with us tonight?"
"Your Chino friends? Ew…"
"Hey," Ryan replies, feigning being insulted.
"I don't know if I'd really fit in," Summer says.
"I'll be there. We don't steal cars for fun. We just hang out."
Summer shrugs. "Okay. I don't have anything better to do."
"Good."
*****
Summer and Ryan become regular fixtures with his friends and their bonfire. The boys steer clear of Summer despite Ryan's reassurances that she is not with him. Ryan and Summer grow even closer. He starts to rely on her and talk to her and she returns his confidence by telling him about herself. By the end of the week, he trusts her more than anyone else in Newport. She meshed with his friends and to him, the effort speaks volumes about her loyalty to him.
Friday night, Seth goes to the pool house after school for the first time since his confrontation about the black eye. Ryan is sitting on the bed with Summer talking on the phone. Ryan is sitting up and Summer is sitting against his knees, painting her nails.
"Summer? What are you doing here?"
"Hanging out with Ryan," She shrugs.
Ryan's face is blank and he meets Seth's devastated gaze with a cold stare. He speaks into the phone. "Whatever you think is best, Marissa…it's okay…I understand…"
"I didn't know you guys were so close," Seth says slowly.
Summer meets his gaze. "We're friends. What do you call yourself?" Ryan nudges her with his knee. "Sorry."
"Okay, Marissa…I don't care if you keep calling…it's really fine…" He hangs up. "What's up, Seth?"
"What's up? I wanted to see if you wanted to go to the movies with Anna and me tonight," Seth offers.
"I can't. Thanks, though," Ryan replies.
"What are you going to do?" Seth asks.
"Hang out with Summer. Maybe another time," Ryan replies.
"Oh. Okay."
As soon as Seth leaves, puzzled, Summer turns her head to look at Ryan.
"What happened?"
"Marissa is officially out of love with me. Enter Jean-Luc, from France. She's staying two extra weeks and she thinks she's in love."
"Oh, Ryan, I'm so sorry," Summer gasps.
"It's okay. I mean…it really sucks but…hey. Lots of stuff really sucks."
"I'll have some choice words for her, Chino…"
"Hey. She's your oldest friend. I don't want to be in the middle of that."
Summer squeezes his arm. "Hey. You're my newest friend. Don't worry. What time are we meeting everybody tonight?"
"Whenever. Why, you're ready to start drinking already?" Ryan doesn't wait for her to respond. "Me, too."
Seth watches them leave from his window.
*****
At the party, Ryan and Summer both get more drunk than usual. Ryan's mind is swirling with all the mixed signals he fought through to get with Marissa just to be shut down over the phone. He drinks and drinks.
He snaps out of his haze. He's on his knees in the sand. He's kissing someone. Summer. She's kissing him back. She's holding his face and trying to devour him. He ignores the screaming voices in his head and continues to kiss her.
"Finally!" A voice hoots behind them. "They hooked up!" Ryan's friends have been hassling him since meeting Summer about their chemistry. They never believed his story of an absentee girlfriend.
"You know this isn't happening…" Summer breathes between kisses.
"No, it's not…it's all a dream…" Ryan agrees.
"Don't stop, though…" Summer pants.
*****
Ryan doesn't recognize the fluffy pink pillow over his face. He groans, his head pounding.
"Shut up…it's too early…"
"Summer? Oh god…" Ryan tosses the pillow off his face.
"Chino? Oh god…" Summer echoes, sitting up.
"What the fuck did we do?" Ryan whispers.
"Give me a minute…" Summer sits up. She covers herself absently with her comforter.
"Where are we?"
"This is my house. This is my room. We aren't wearing any clothes, do you think…" Summer gasps.
"God…Summer, I'm so sorry…" Ryan apologizes.
"Wait…I'm getting a memory…"
"Well?" Ryan calls.
"You're very good in bed," Summer replies seriously.
"God, Summer, that's not exactly helping…" Ryan mumbles, but the tension is gone.
"Come on, Ryan, we're friends, we can deal with this…" Summer starts.
"Does this happen with all your friends?" Ryan asks, teasingly.
"Stop having lesbian fantasies…" Summer scolds.
"Summer, this is serious stuff…"
"Really? Let's chill out. Okay? And think about this…you weren't a virgin, were you? With moves like that?" Summer asks, turning to face him.
"No, Summer. You weren't…"
"God, no. Okay. That's cool then. And I seem to remember that we used protection. You don't have any icky Chino diseases or anything, do you?"
"No, Summer," Ryan replies. He is losing his nervousness since Summer doesn't seem upset.
"Okay, then. So we're just friends that got drunk and turned to each other for comfort. Right?" Summer asks, explaining things to him. He stares at her.
"Is that okay?" Ryan asks.
"Yeah. Is that okay with you?" Summer questions.
"Yeah. We're still friends?" Ryan asks.
"Yeah. We're friends…" Summer says, looking at him, curiously.
Ryan meets her gaze. He leans in and cups her chin. "Thanks." He kisses her.
"I know you can do better than that, stud," She replies when he releases her. She kisses him deeply and they retreat under the covers.
*****
Ryan goes from Summer's to work and doesn't get home until late Saturday evening. Sandy and Kirsten aren't home and Seth is waiting for him in the pool house.
"Hey. Where'd you stay last night?" Seth asks.
"I crashed at Summer's," Ryan replies.
"Uh huh. What's up with that?"
"With what?" Ryan asks, dropping his bag beside the bed.
"You and Summer?" Seth asks.
"We're friends," Ryan shrugs.
"Since when?"
"Since I needed one and didn't have any," Ryan replies.
Seth gasps. "Ryan…I…"
"Don't apologize, Seth. We're cool. But don't get all defensive because I'm hanging out with the girl you used to have a crush on, because unless I'm mistaken, you're with Anna now…"
"And you and Summer are just friends?"
Ryan's anger flares suddenly. "Dammit, Seth, why are you so interested all of a sudden? You can't just be involved in my life when you're bored with your own…"
"What does Marissa think about all this?" Seth snaps.
Ryan throws his hands up in frustration. "Okay. You know what? No. You don't know anything. Get out."
"Ryan…"
"Get out. Don't talk to me. We are not friends. We are not brothers. Get out."
"No, I won't get out. This is my house," Seth retorts.
"Fine. I'll leave," Ryan states. He starts shoving things into a bag.
"Wait, let's just calm down here, Ryan…"
"You calm down. I'm out," Ryan responds.
"What am I going to tell my dad? That you ran away because we had a fight?"
"You know what? I don't think your dad really gives a shit. He's missed the last three meetings with my probation officer. Your parents won't even know I'm gone," Ryan mutters. One bag is full. He dumps his books out onto the bed freeing up another bag.
"I can't believe this is happening…" Seth says as Ryan starts filling the bag with clothes.
"Fuck you. You don't need me around anymore, Seth. I really appreciate you being there for me these last few weeks, I can tell you were really concerned about me," Ryan mutters sarcastically.
"My mom bought you that shirt," Seth snaps. Ryan freezes. He drops what he's holding and walks out of the pool house. He leaves everything. Seth turns to apologize, but Ryan is gone.
Seth is unable to reach his parents by phone. Finally, he calls Summer.
"Hello?"
"Summer? It's Seth. Is Ryan with you?"
"No. Why? Why are you looking for him?"
"We, sort of, had a falling out. He told me to get out. I told him to get out and…he left."
"What's your issue? I mean, you're such a punk, Cohen. Where's he supposed to go?"
"I didn't think he'd leave, Summer…it's like I don't know him anymore…"
"You never knew him, Seth, or you wouldn't treat him like this. He's a person, not just a toy your parents brought you to play with…"
"Summer…"
"No, listen to me for once. Ryan lost his mother and everything he ever knew. You guys took him in and made him think that he was going to be a part of a family but you guys don't even pay any attention to him! Ever since you started dating Anna, Ryan's been left out. I didn't even see it for a while, but he really depended on you. You made him think that he actually had a place in the family but after you got distracted, he's been flying blind."
Seth sighs. "Where do you think he is?"
"I don't know, Seth."
"What's going on with you guys?"
"Nothing. We're friends as if it's any of your business."
"Will you…"
"No. Bye, Seth."
*****
Sandy and Kirsten both come home after midnight and Seth is asleep, exhausted from his all-evening search for Ryan. Seth doesn't see either of them until the next morning.
"Hey, son, what's up?" Sandy asks, greeting him in the kitchen. Seth ignores him, going to the pool house to see if Ryan has returned. Seth sees that nothing's changed and he returns to the kitchen, sitting down and sighing.
"Seth?"
"Ryan's gone."
Sandy freezes. "What?"
"He's gone. We had a fight. I told him to get out and he did."
"Seth…"
"I messed up," Seth admits. "I got caught up in my own life and basically ignored him. I accused him of messing around with Summer but they're friends. They're just friends and…I don't know where he is or how I can fix this."
"God, Seth, why didn't you call me?"
"I did. Four times. Mom, too. I asked him before he left what I was supposed to tell you and he said…he said that you guys wouldn't know he was gone."
Sandy sighs heavily. "We didn't even know."
"He says you've missed the last three meetings with his probation officer, Dad. Is that true?"
Sandy is surprised. "I don't…shit…Wednesdays at three…I have…"
"I guess one kid's about all you can handle," Seth remarks.
"We'll find him, Seth. I promise. We'll make this right."
*****
Summer is sitting home alone on Saturday night when she hears the doorbell ring. The housekeeper gets it and she glances up from the couch, not expecting company. Ryan walks in.
"Hey, stranger. What's up?"
"Homeless again," Ryan mutters.
"I heard. Seth called looking for you yesterday. Where'd you stay last night?"
"I just walked around. 'Caught some sleep under the boardwalk this morning."
"Want to talk about it?"
"No," Ryan answers quietly. "I came to say goodbye."
"Stop right there. Are you out of your mind? Where are you going to go?" Summer gasps.
"I found my Mom. I figured I'd crash with her for a few days and then move on…"
"You're just going to leave…"
Ryan meets her gaze. "Yeah. I have to."
"Why? Seth, he's a jerk, but he still cares about you. And the Cohens, god, they'd never get over it…"
"It isn't working…" Ryan mutters. "I'm not working here."
"You can't just quit, Ryan. I know that the teachers are flipping out over you because you're doing so well. Sit down. Please, Ryan."
He sits down beside her, clearly exhausted. She puts an arm around him and he relaxes against her. "You think I should go back?"
"It's your home, Ryan. Don't run away. I…I would miss you, Chino. Really. I think you should try to work it out. You know I like your friends, they're all cool…but you're smarter than they are. You could actually do something with your life instead of wasting it away. Are you listening?" Summer asks.
"Yeah. I'm listening," Ryan sighs.
"I'll go with you. If you don't want to stay after you talk to them, we'll make a break for it. Okay?" Summer offers.
"You don't have to come, Summer, I can do it…" Ryan sighs.
"You aren't looking too steady, Ryan. You look thrown."
"Damn, I am thrown. I'm fucking fucked," Ryan admits. "I don't…I don't know what I'm supposed to do…"
Summer hesitates and then leans over, kissing him.
"I thought we weren't doing this anymore," Ryan protests, putting his hand hesitantly on her head.
"Comfort. It's between us and we're just friends, right? We're not hurting anyone…" Summer starts, accepting his kiss.
"Summer, this can't be good for us," Ryan says between kisses.
"Shh…no talking…more kissage…" She murmurs.
Later, Summer has dozed off. Ryan showers and then sits at the end of Summer's bed.
He isn't sure what's happening. Summer is his friend. She's beautiful, nice, caring, talented and perfect for any man. But she's his friend. She's Marissa's best friend. But when she touches him, he can't seem to make himself stop. It's not love, both of them know that, but the lust is stronger now when they're together.
Things just seem to get more complicated every second he stays here.
"What are you doing?"
"Thinking."
"Stop. Come to bed. We'll worry about everything tomorrow, okay?" Summer yawns. "Okay? Don't run."
Ryan closes his eyes and climbs into Summer's bed. She wraps her arms around him and he lets himself relax.
*****
"Sandy, call the police. It's been two nights that he hasn't shown up," Kirsten tells Sandy on Sunday morning.
"I don't want to get him sent back to juvie until we know for sure…" Sandy protests.
"Know what for sure?" Seth asks, entering the kitchen.
"Until we know that he's really gone. He's a good kid, I'm sure once he calms down that he'll…" Sandy starts.
"Hey," Ryan says, stepping into the kitchen. Summer is behind him with her hand on his back.
"Ryan…thank god…" Kirsten breathes, going toward him and embracing him. Ryan doesn't return her hug and immediately retreats slightly back into the hallway.
"Sorry for disappearing. I had some things to think about," Ryan says quietly.
Summer glares at Seth who turns away, guilty.
"Ryan. Despite whatever problems you have with Seth, this is our house. It's your house, too," Kirsten says gently. Ryan nods. Summer pokes him in the back.
"Okay," Ryan answers.
"Are you okay?" Sandy asks.
"Yes, sir," Ryan replies.
"I'm sorry," Seth says. "Are you back now?"
Ryan doesn't meet his eyes but nods. Summer puts her hand on his shoulder.
"I'm back," Ryan says.
"You knew we were looking for him and you didn't think to call?" Seth accuses Summer.
"Hey. I didn't even talk to her until today," Ryan replies before Summer can answer. "This is between us, not her."
"Then why is she here?" Seth snaps.
"Seth. Go to your room. Now," Sandy orders. Seth hesitates, but leaves.
Ryan turns to Kirsten and Sandy. "Look. I thought this was a good idea…"
Summer squeezes his arm again.
"But it's not. Seth obviously has problems with me…"
"He's been worried sick…" Kirsten protests.
"Sure, but when I walked in here with Summer, you could just see…it doesn't matter. I can't stay here anymore. I'm going to get some things and let you make the calls you need to make to my probation officer…"
"Ryan, this isn't bad enough for you to have to do that…" Sandy protests.
"Yes. It is. Seth doesn't want me here. You guys don't have time for me to be here. I won't destroy your family. I should go. Its best…"
"No. We talked about this," Summer hisses in his ear.
"Ryan. Sit down," Kirsten sighs.
"I'm going to go get my things…"
"No. You will sit down and listen to us," Sandy says, sternly. Ryan flinches but doesn't move. "We are your legal guardians…"
"Why are you doing this? You'd rather send me to juvie than let me go?" Ryan asks. Summer gasps.
"You aren't going to juvie, Ryan," Sandy begins.
"If I leave, you'll call the cops and that's juvie," Ryan snaps. "You think this is an easy decision for me?" Summer is holding his arm, keeping him from bolting.
"Ryan, please," Kirsten says.
"It's not working…" Ryan responds quietly. He's trembling with emotion.
"I won't let you walk away from this family," Sandy starts again.
"Your family, Sandy…I'm not yours…no matter how hard I try, I'll never be the son you wanted…" Ryan says. "I'm not yours."
"Ryan," Summer interrupts. Sandy has turned around, affected.
Ryan meets Summer's worried gaze before pulling away from her and bolting through the door.
Seth is at the foot of the stairs as the door slams. Summer walks over to him and slaps him harshly, bloodying his nose.
"Fuck you. You don't own me. You don't even know me. There's never been anything between us except your little fantasies…" She hesitates, shaking with fury. "You were Ryan's only friend and you ditched him, just like everyone else. You made him feel guilty when he made another friend, Seth…you just ditched him when you got tired of him…he's a fucking person not a toy, not a thing for you to play with when you feel like," She finished with another slap to his face. She storms out of the house. She spots Ryan leaning over down the driveway.
"Ryan…"
"Will you take me somewhere?" He whispers when she gets to his side.
"Yeah, babe, let's ride." She steadies him to her car.
****
Summer pulls her car into a parking lot. Ryan hasn't said a word since getting into the car.
"Ryan, I need you to say something. Snap out of it," Summer says, shaking him.
His eyes remain closed.
"Please."
"Would you kill me if I asked you to?" Ryan asks suddenly.
"What?" Summer chokes. "What kind of drugs are you on? What the fuck?"
"An ex of mine used to say that that would be the ultimate sacrifice. If you loved someone enough that you'd kill them if they were in enough pain to ask…" Ryan murmured.
"Ryan…why are you asking me?"
"I need you to let me go," Ryan says quietly.
"To let you die? Hell no…"
"I don't want to die, Summer. But I can't stay here," Ryan replies.
"This is so fucked up…"
"I don't know what else to do…"
"I am asking you to stay, Ryan. You're exhausted. You're upset. I can't make you do anything…but I'm asking you to stay. Even if its just for a little while," Summer urges.
"Nothing's going to change…"
"Please," She whispers. She puts her hand on his leg, gently.
He sighs. He takes her hand.
"Yeah?" She asks.
"Okay," He whispers.
"Mind if I spring for a hotel? The Cohens will probably come to my house looking for you."
"Damn. I didn't think about that," Ryan admits.
"Don't worry, Chino. I'm from Newport, I have a trust fund," Summer smiles.
"You don't have to do this for me," He says quietly.
"I know. I don't do things that I don't want to do, Chino."
*****
"They're not at Summer's," Sandy says as he drops his keys on the counter hours later.
"She's got her phone turned off," Seth says to his father. Kirsten is in bed, upset.
"We'll get him back, Seth," Sandy says.
"He doesn't want to be here…because of me…this is my fault…" Seth mutters.
"It's mine as much as it is your. I've been so caught up in my own life that I forgot…God, that's so awful…"
Kirsten steps inside. "Stop it. Both of you. We messed up but living here is 100% better than Ryan's mother's house. We can't take back the past few months but Ryan is a part of this family and he will come home." She walks over to Seth. "Can you get over this problem you have with Summer?"
"I'm over it. I want him back. I'll be best man at their wedding if it'll make him stay…" Seth says.
"We're all going to bed. There's nothing more we can do tonight. Everything will be better tomorrow," Kirsten says.
*****
When Summer wakes up, Ryan is gone. A letter lies beside her in the bed they shared the night before.
"Summer. I'm sorry. I care about you more than a friend should. I didn't want you to see me walk away. I wish I could stay but I can't. I have to try something else. R."
