Dreams
Chapter 4: Recapitulation
"Do you have everything you need, Caramon?" Tanis Half-Elven asked, handing Caramon a candle. The warrior glanced over at his friend, dressed in nightclothes, and took the candle with a pseudo smile that did not touch his eyes, dull eyes that seemed to stare far away into nothing but dark despair. Tanis returned the smile halfheartedly and patted Caramon on the arm. He was more than a little worried about his friend. Caramon hadn't spoken at all since that day… In response in the silence that answered him, Tanis glanced about the room himself to make sure everything was in place. Yes, the familiar wall tapestries that held the history of the world within golden stitches still adorned the wall, the priceless porcelain elven vase still stood upon the table in the corner, the tall bed was still topped with many jade and golden pillows. Even the sweet perfume that drifted from the pallid moonflowers that sprawled inside to become as much a part of the room as the carper was familiar.
The warrior tore his eyes from the introspective darkness to look into the face of his old friend. "Do I have everything I need? No. And I never will again." The half elf sighed and sat down on the bed next to his friend. Solinari's light streamed in the perpetually open window, illuminating the silver streaks in Tanis' hair, casting his face into sharp relief and etching him much older than his true age.
"Caramon, Raistlin died to save the world…and you. Would you belittle his sacrifice by living this way?"
Caramon turned on his friend, angry and hurt. "He's not dead! Don't you understand?! He's still in Abyss, tortured by the Dark Queen every day…and every night…My brother! My twin!" Tanis looked down at his hands, knowing it was important to release pent up emotion, but feeling uncomfortable nonetheless. "You don't understand, Tanis. We were always together, even in the womb! How am I just supposed to live my life knowing that while I am happy and at peace, the Queen is killing him over and over? How can I live knowing that I abandoned him to that fate? I can't…" The warrior blew out the candle and lay down on the bed, facing his back toward Tanis. "I can't…" he whispered again to himself, then, drained, spoke apathetically to Tanis. "Good night."
The half elf looked over at the muscled back that faced him and scratched his reddish beard in frustration. He stood up from the bed and carefully fumbled out of the room in the dark. "Good night, my friend." As soon as he shut the door, Tanis stormed over to his parlor, pacing and clenching his fists in aggravation. He hated seeing Caramon in pain and hated worse that he could do nothing to alleviate it. "Raistlin," he muttered angrily to the darkness. "Even your absence causes trouble!" Yet, he closed his eyes and could still see Raistlin giving Caramon the Staff of Magius, could still see Raistlin's frail body impaled upon an unholy claw. Brushing the unexpected tears from his eyes, he sighed in frustration. "Paladine," he whispered, sinking tiredly into a chair. "Grant him peace," Tanis looked outside the window and at the moons. "Grant them both peace."
*
Caramon listened carefully for the sounds of Tanis leaving his room and walking down the hall. After he was certain the half elf was gone, he crept out of bed to lock the door. The warrior knelt on the floor where he had tossed his armor earlier and drew his sword from the worn scabbard. He returned to the bed and sat with the blade upon his lap, his eyes upon the moons outside that reminded him of magic and of his brother.
"Raist," he softly told the moons, his hands absentmindedly running over the sword's blade. "I can't live with this pain anymore. I'm sorry I abandoned you. I can't take this pain, this guilt. It would be so easy, my twin, to escape this darkness. I hate the world…but not half as much as I hate myself. It would be so easy to escape…" His emotion overcoming him, Caramon felt the spindly fingers of sleep strangle his strength. "I miss you," He fell backwards unto the bed, landing on a mountain of pillows. "I miss you…"
Caramon opened his eyes to see a ceiling crafted from the branches of a huge vallenwood tree. He felt a soft breath touch his cheek and he turned to see the window was open, Solinari shining brightly outside. Yet, there were no nighttime sonatas of cicadas nor the mournful ribbit of a toad to be heard, only a peaceful, unnatural quiet. Bewildered, Caramon sat up and looked around this room that was so familiar to him, recognizing the plain desk that Raistlin used to study at, the notches in the wall where he had accidentally struck it with his sword, the worn curtains that his mother Rosamun had sewn. Stilling his breath, Caramon realized he was not alone. He turned to his other side, foreboding in his heart.
The moonlight shimmered on golden skin, illuminated silver hair that fell over his shoulders and lightly over his face. Caramon gasped and felt tears spring to his eyes. Still robed in black, the cruel lines of evil and malice were smoothed from the face that was as familiar to the warrior as his own. Raistlin slept deeply, his chest rising and falling with ease and rest, a faint smile on his lips. His hand shaking terribly, the warrior reached out a hand to brush the hair from his twin's face, feeling his brother's warm skin. "Raist?" he choked out in a whisper.
Words drifted to Caramon's ear from outside the window, seemed to be musical and omniscient. A voice that was so familiar… "Caramon, my son, you see your brother sleeping. He sleeps eternally, and memories of you keep bad dreams away. Do not let your heart be troubled for one who is at peace resting. He waits for you, my son, to leave this world. Now, go and may you find the same peace as your brother did with your family and your friends. They love you, too. Sleep, Caramon…sleep…" Caramon listened to the voice with closed eyes, his tears streaming unchecked down his face. At the voice's command, Caramon fell back to lay next to his twin and fell into a deep, peaceful sleep, his brother's steady breathing his ear…
BANG! BANG! BANGBANGBANG! "Damn it, Caramon! Open the door! What's going on in there?!" Tanis beat on the door with his fists angrily. Caramon never locked the door, and with it almost lunchtime, the absence of the warrior was noted worriedly. Something was wrong. Frustrated, Tanis kicked the door with a delicate elven boot, only adding a pain in his foot to his problems. Then he remembered he had the master set of keys on his belt. Feeling like it would have been more appropriate to kick himself rather than the door, Tanis opened the door. The sunlight danced in through the windows, the perfume of the moonflower was replaced by that of sweet pea and morning lily. A huddle lay on the bed. Creeping into the room towards the huddle, Tanis stepped on something that glinted in the sunlight. He reached down and picked up Caramon's sword, his face ashen, foreboding in his heart. He leaned closer…Caramon lay sprawled out upon the bed, snoring softly. Weak with relief, the half elf gently shook the sleeper's shoulder. "Caramon?"
Through a tangle of brownish curls, sapphire eyes slowly opened. "Tanis?" the big man muttered sleepily. Tanis peered down at him, concerned.
"Are you well? Do you want anyth-" Tanis bit his tongue, remembering the sparks that flew last night. Reddened, he was amazed to see the warrior sit up and smile nostalgically.
Caramon looked past Tanis, past the window, past Solanthus, and into the distance. "Yes, I do want something. I want to go home," the warrior turned from the window looked directly at his friend and smiled, a true smile. "It is time to go home."