Title: And then the petals fell ...
Author: Mary Eve Parker ms.parker@gmx.at
Spoilers: "Lady Heater's box"
Rating: not sure yet ... R
Disclaimer: I borrowed them for a little bit, their actions and dialogues
are mine!
Note: you'll find the one or other lyric of Shania Twain & Bon Jovi in
there ;)
This is my first attempt on CSI Fan Fiction, so don't be too hard with me!
Can be found at: to Karen for her quick and fantastic beta-job!
XxXxXxXxXxX
AND THEN THE PETALS FELL ... Part 3/?
With the open book in his hands, he perched at the edge of her bed, afraid of intruding on her private space. He had never meant to hurt her, never. Things just had gotten out of hand.
It was already to early morning but there would be no sleep for him, no rest. He had changed the sheets in her room but everything still smelt like Catherine, the smell he WAS addicted TO – soft lavender with a shot of rose in it, a little cinnamon and strawberry. It was unique, uniquely Catherine.
He stripped down to his boxer shorts and climbed into her bed, sitting up against the headboard to allow him to read. He started to skim through the book, pausing to look at the night sky shining through the open curtains. He watched the moon in the sky and laughed slightly as feelings of jealousy coursed through him. He was jealous of the moon. The moon that shared more intimacy with Catherine then he had.
"168th Entry Finally I was brave enough to ask him about the donation and he agreed to it, but there were terms. I agreed to everything he wanted because I want this child, I need it. I need to feel alive again. I am not getting any younger and a child would be the best sort of miracle for me now. And for Lindsey, I've always wanted Lindsey to have a sister or brother. When I asked her this morning what she thought about it, how she would feel about a baby in the house. She smiled that smile of hers, and hugged me for a long time. She is still my baby but I don't want her to be alone. My peek of fertility will be next week. After so many years I know my body well enough to say so.
The hard bit will be telling him that we have to try. And I am more than a little afraid of having this conversation, afraid he'll see that I want to be with him. That I want sex with him. It's been a long time for me, and I have to admit I miss sex. I am afraid of how I might react when we are together, that my body will betray me, that he will make me cry out his name in pleasure. But that's something that I musn't do, Grissom wants us to have sex at the office, so screaming his name would be bad ... anyway, ....I will do my best to remove myself from this moment, to ignore the sensation running through my body. I will be silent; I will bite down the words. It's just sex, I have to remember that. It's what he wants, no feelings or comfort involved. Its sex I have to remember the reason behind it and not lose myself in his touch."
(Eva, I have suggested a few changes for that diary entry, the ones in the beginning are just short, grammar related etc. The longer part I've written out is a suggestion because I think that Catherine would perhaps be a little less clinical about what she was doing with him, we need to believe that she DOES want him. Also I suggest you take out the word ' fucking' not because I'm a prude, but because I don't think what they are doing is fucking. If that were so then they would be having a passionate affair, this is sex with a purpose, to make a baby. This isn't passionate, this is functional, that's why I've suggested using 'sex' instead.)
He read this entry over and then over again, trying to understand her thoughts. What was she saying? What was she confessing here? The sun was beginning to rise, it was beautiful. He wished Catherine could see it.
"That could be it. But what if I can't do that? What if he guesses? What if its so obvious how I feel? I fear, I really far, my love will be written all over my face. But, but I know he isn't in love with me, and I don't blame him for it. No, I don't. Why would he love me? Every single day that I see him I think that maybe it will happen, he will realise my feelings, that he will change his. But it never happens and I come home to my empty bed. I think that's why I can barely sleep more than four to five hours at a time. Today when I spoke to him he was so cold, his beautiful smile was gone from his lips. I could never have imagined he would make me feel like that, that he could be so cold, distant. But I have to remember what I am asking for, I am changing his life. Asking him to change his life to satisfy my needs. What if this is the worst kind of mistake? I need to sleep on this, need to find the clarity I thought was already there."
He remembered the next after, the day after this entry. She came to his office after the shift, but he hadn't been there. She placed a note on his PC "We will start next week if you are still in it. C." She always signed her notes to him with a smile "C". For all the others she wrote Cath or even Catherine if it was something for Sara but this "C" belonged to him and only him. There has never been anybody else in his life that cared like her for him and now he was refusing her to be with him, not in the animalistic sexual way, he gave her his body. No this wasn't right. She gave him hers. He didn't care that much. He was angry, angry about himself.
The sun was high on the sky now, the shade of red filling the room. The colour made him think of her, and what he had done. Now he realised that he had been the biggest asshole on God's earth.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX FLASHBACK XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Cath was wearing a pink knee length skirt and a white top with it. It had taken her nearly an hour to find the right outfit for the "after shift meeting" with Gil. She didn't want to look cheap but on the other hand not too impressive either. He had made it clear that this was business for him and nothing else. So she had to work with it. She could do it, that's what she told herself every few seconds.
She entered the office but he wasn't there yet. She didn't sit down on the sofa or a chair at his desk; no she was studying the bugs on the wall. She was nervous as hell, but she was doing the right thing. Wasn't she?
He came half an hour later. She was still standing at the wall, studying one of his books. Gil studied her carefully. He hadn't seen her in a skirt for a long time. But it was easier to get rid of, he told himself, she was helping him.
"Catherine," he said with a monotone voice. "Gil," he could see in her posture that she was nervous. Honestly, he didn't care about her nerves, he had himself to protect. She wanted something from him, and he was about to give it to her. Catherine did look vulnerable to him, a look perhaps only he would have recognised. It's the look she wore when she told him she was pregnant with Lindsey, but that was long ago.
Slowly she looked up from the book, put it back on the shelf and moved to him. He noticed that the white top she wore was practically sheer, that he could see the white lace of her bra underneath, the bra that covered her breasts, hiding them, caressing them. Despite himself he thought of her body, though of how sensitive she was. Thought of how she would respond if he were to reach out and touch her the way he yearned to.
She stopped in front of him and looked up at him. Her sea blue eyes stared at him. He had never seen such a shade of blue, never. Suddenly she smiled.
Before he could think of anything else she went to the door and locked it. Good, he wouldn't have been able to think of it. She came back, slowly, and he noticed her hips how they softly swung with every step. Tell me what you want, he thought while watching her. She was a beauty and the years had made her even more beautiful. When she was younger she was beautiful but differently, she was rounder. Now she was a real woman with her own taste, shape, instincts and opinion. She had changed a lot since she'd found out about Eddie's betrayal.
"Do you want to talk before?" She shook her head. She couldn't think of a topic. "Do you want to?" "I guess we don't need to." "Do you need me to ...?" "No, I will take care of it." "Where?" "I thought maybe ...." He looked around the room, "the desk?" Catherine also looked around the room. She'd preferred the couch but it was his decision she was just thankful for his help. She nodded, AND slowly went to it. Cath had no clue where or how he wanted it. No words were spoken. The moment she was in front of him, between him and the desk he studied her lips carefully. Does she want me to kiss her? But the reply came to him straight away, of course she didn't. She just wanted sex; it's what she asked for. So his hands reached for her hips, turning her round so that she was facing the door, her back in contact with his chest.
So this was how he wanted it? His hands on her hips. Slowly. One hand suddenly left. She heard the sound of a zipper going down, belt and button being opened. And then the trousers puddled around his legs. Softly she leant forward, her hands on his desk. There was no talking, still. She wanted him to tell her anything, anything she didn't care what. Gil yanked his boxer shorts down and the next thing she felt was his erection pressing against her butt.
With a couple of quick moved he had her skirt pulled up around her hips, and her silky underwear became a torn piece of fabric on the floor. His touch was giving her Goosebumps, but there was an uneasiness which she couldn't avoid. He was being rough, he was being like Eddie. She knew that he was aroused, that he had been since his eyes moved to her underwear barely hidden by her top. She wished she was around too, wished it was as easy for her. She felt him bend her body slightly, felt moving behind her, his arousal pressing against her skin. And then all she felt was him inside her. Catherine gasped in pain, he heard her gasp in pain. He wanted to wait a little, let her adjust, but it was too much. He suppressed a moan deep in his throat. He had imagined this moment many times, but he never thought it would be this delicious. Her hard muscles were accepting him to her body. But that wasn't enough; he wanted it to be better, to be more. How could he not? He couldn't resist touching her a little, running his hand up and down her spine, enjoying that she relaxed a little more at his touch. He continued to move inside her, while she remained still. She couldn't think of her now, he had to be selfish or he would feel too much. He wanted to enjoy this for what it was, sex. Human contact, he couldn't remember the last time he had felt human contact like this. So it shouldn't matter that he wanted more.
It didn't take him long to come and he was sorry that she didn't climax with him. He wanted to hear her cry out his name, but that was not what this was about. He had done as he asked, he came inside her to try and make a child she wanted so much.
After he came he almost lost his balance. His arms pulled her tighter against him; he thought he heard her sigh at his tough. This felt more intimate than the sex, the two of them resting against each other gasping for breath. But to think this was wrong, he had simply done his job, he shouldn't be enjoying her touch so much.
When he slipped out of her, Gil went without saying anything towards the bathroom to clean him up. When he came back he saw her pulling down her skirt and without a second look she went towards the door. "Tomorrow," he asked softly. "Yes," she replied quickly and left.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX END FLASHBACK XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
He was sitting still on the bed when Lindsey came in with the spider he brought over, chatting with it. He couldn't look at her now, not now. "Linds, could you give me a minute?" "Sure, I am in the living room with Bobo." "Thanks baby." "I am not a baby," she returned. She was like her mother. So cute. Why did he have to say that, how cute Catherine was. Why hadn't he ever told Catherine this before? Slowly he pulled him together and went to Catherine's bathroom taking a quick shower. He even borrowed her white fluffy robe, he didn't care.
When he came to the living room Lindsey was staring at him with her big blue eyes. She was looking such a lot like her mother – unbelievable, he thought.
Gil knew that he would need to talk to Catherine's little daughter, speak to her like to an adult. He had to tell her that her mum was in hospital and that she will remain there for a little while to get well again.
He grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down next to Lindsey, silently, watching her play with the spider. "Lindsey, I have to talk to you." She sat down next to him with the box in her hands, watching the spider move FROM one side to the other - he was quite a hairy thing. "Your mum ..." "She cried a lot Uncle Gil." He looked at her and put a stray curl of her hair behind Lindsey's ear. "I know", he didn't, but he didn't want Lindsey to know that. "Do you know why?" The little girl shook her head "No I had a bad dream, and I wanted to sleep in bed with her, but she wouldn't let me into the room. She told me I was old enough to sleep in my own bed," she was silently crying, and it broke his heart all over again. "You are a big girl Linds." "But it was a horrible dream!" "I know. I am sure that she didn't do it on purpose. She had a hard time." Why did she have to look at him like that? The same questioning look her mother gave him so many times. "You remember the time I brought your mum to the hospital?"Lindsey nodded. "It hurt her a lot." "Oh," was the girl's reply. "You know Linds, not every wound is outside. Sometimes it can hurt inside too," he said and put his finger over her heart, "in there and it can hurt more than when you have a blood knee." "But mum was bleeding when we brought her to hospital." "Yes and that healed. Okay ... when somebody hits you and then you fall, you are angry about it. Aren't you?" "Sure." "And you have been told that you aren't allowed to hit back so can't do anything. Right?" She nodded, "And your mum felt like somebody had hurt her and she couldn't do anything against it." "Oh ..." "Warwick brought her to the hospital again last night and she has to stay there for a little while." "Will you stay with me? I don't ..." "Of course," he replied softly and pulled the now crying girl into his lap and his strong arms encircled her, pressing the sobbing form against his chest. "Daddy left ...." "She will come back I swear it Lindsey, she just needs a little time to get better. And I will stay with you till then, okay?" The sobs stopped and she stayed silently in his arms, her face pressed against his chest.
He wasn't too proud of any of that. He had never had done anything like that before. But over the last year he had done a lot of new things, and a lot of things he wasn't proud of.
He held the child as he now wanted to hold her mother. He wanted to hold Catherine and tell her how wrong he had been. He wanted to tell her that she was the most perfect woman in the world to him. He wanted to tell her how he loved all of her, the swing in her hips, the width of her smile. God, he even loved the way she chewed gum when she was nervous. He wanted to tell her that he loved her. He wanted to tell her that he wanted to make love to her, in a bed, and with love. He wanted to kiss her skin, and hear her sigh his name. He wanted that, more than anything else. He new this would not happen easily, that he would have to work hard to even make her talk to him again. He had been so distant these last months and he had shamefully neglected her. Brass had tried to tell him of the changes in Cath, but he had ignored him. How could Brass have noticed and he, the man that shared the most intimate of all experiences with her, have noticed nothing? Or did he just ignore what he couldn't bare? Finally he surrendered to the tears, he couldn't stop them anymore. Soft little rivers poured down his unshaved cheeks, dropping onto Lindsey's sweet head. But Lindsey didn't move, she was brave like her mum. She let herself be comforted and be a comfort. She let herself feel loved and cared for, so did he.
Maybe there was a chance that her Christmas dream was about to come true?
XxXxXxXxXxX End Part 3
More? Mail me: ms.parker@gmx.at
XxXxXxXxXxX
AND THEN THE PETALS FELL ... Part 3/?
With the open book in his hands, he perched at the edge of her bed, afraid of intruding on her private space. He had never meant to hurt her, never. Things just had gotten out of hand.
It was already to early morning but there would be no sleep for him, no rest. He had changed the sheets in her room but everything still smelt like Catherine, the smell he WAS addicted TO – soft lavender with a shot of rose in it, a little cinnamon and strawberry. It was unique, uniquely Catherine.
He stripped down to his boxer shorts and climbed into her bed, sitting up against the headboard to allow him to read. He started to skim through the book, pausing to look at the night sky shining through the open curtains. He watched the moon in the sky and laughed slightly as feelings of jealousy coursed through him. He was jealous of the moon. The moon that shared more intimacy with Catherine then he had.
"168th Entry Finally I was brave enough to ask him about the donation and he agreed to it, but there were terms. I agreed to everything he wanted because I want this child, I need it. I need to feel alive again. I am not getting any younger and a child would be the best sort of miracle for me now. And for Lindsey, I've always wanted Lindsey to have a sister or brother. When I asked her this morning what she thought about it, how she would feel about a baby in the house. She smiled that smile of hers, and hugged me for a long time. She is still my baby but I don't want her to be alone. My peek of fertility will be next week. After so many years I know my body well enough to say so.
The hard bit will be telling him that we have to try. And I am more than a little afraid of having this conversation, afraid he'll see that I want to be with him. That I want sex with him. It's been a long time for me, and I have to admit I miss sex. I am afraid of how I might react when we are together, that my body will betray me, that he will make me cry out his name in pleasure. But that's something that I musn't do, Grissom wants us to have sex at the office, so screaming his name would be bad ... anyway, ....I will do my best to remove myself from this moment, to ignore the sensation running through my body. I will be silent; I will bite down the words. It's just sex, I have to remember that. It's what he wants, no feelings or comfort involved. Its sex I have to remember the reason behind it and not lose myself in his touch."
(Eva, I have suggested a few changes for that diary entry, the ones in the beginning are just short, grammar related etc. The longer part I've written out is a suggestion because I think that Catherine would perhaps be a little less clinical about what she was doing with him, we need to believe that she DOES want him. Also I suggest you take out the word ' fucking' not because I'm a prude, but because I don't think what they are doing is fucking. If that were so then they would be having a passionate affair, this is sex with a purpose, to make a baby. This isn't passionate, this is functional, that's why I've suggested using 'sex' instead.)
He read this entry over and then over again, trying to understand her thoughts. What was she saying? What was she confessing here? The sun was beginning to rise, it was beautiful. He wished Catherine could see it.
"That could be it. But what if I can't do that? What if he guesses? What if its so obvious how I feel? I fear, I really far, my love will be written all over my face. But, but I know he isn't in love with me, and I don't blame him for it. No, I don't. Why would he love me? Every single day that I see him I think that maybe it will happen, he will realise my feelings, that he will change his. But it never happens and I come home to my empty bed. I think that's why I can barely sleep more than four to five hours at a time. Today when I spoke to him he was so cold, his beautiful smile was gone from his lips. I could never have imagined he would make me feel like that, that he could be so cold, distant. But I have to remember what I am asking for, I am changing his life. Asking him to change his life to satisfy my needs. What if this is the worst kind of mistake? I need to sleep on this, need to find the clarity I thought was already there."
He remembered the next after, the day after this entry. She came to his office after the shift, but he hadn't been there. She placed a note on his PC "We will start next week if you are still in it. C." She always signed her notes to him with a smile "C". For all the others she wrote Cath or even Catherine if it was something for Sara but this "C" belonged to him and only him. There has never been anybody else in his life that cared like her for him and now he was refusing her to be with him, not in the animalistic sexual way, he gave her his body. No this wasn't right. She gave him hers. He didn't care that much. He was angry, angry about himself.
The sun was high on the sky now, the shade of red filling the room. The colour made him think of her, and what he had done. Now he realised that he had been the biggest asshole on God's earth.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX FLASHBACK XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Cath was wearing a pink knee length skirt and a white top with it. It had taken her nearly an hour to find the right outfit for the "after shift meeting" with Gil. She didn't want to look cheap but on the other hand not too impressive either. He had made it clear that this was business for him and nothing else. So she had to work with it. She could do it, that's what she told herself every few seconds.
She entered the office but he wasn't there yet. She didn't sit down on the sofa or a chair at his desk; no she was studying the bugs on the wall. She was nervous as hell, but she was doing the right thing. Wasn't she?
He came half an hour later. She was still standing at the wall, studying one of his books. Gil studied her carefully. He hadn't seen her in a skirt for a long time. But it was easier to get rid of, he told himself, she was helping him.
"Catherine," he said with a monotone voice. "Gil," he could see in her posture that she was nervous. Honestly, he didn't care about her nerves, he had himself to protect. She wanted something from him, and he was about to give it to her. Catherine did look vulnerable to him, a look perhaps only he would have recognised. It's the look she wore when she told him she was pregnant with Lindsey, but that was long ago.
Slowly she looked up from the book, put it back on the shelf and moved to him. He noticed that the white top she wore was practically sheer, that he could see the white lace of her bra underneath, the bra that covered her breasts, hiding them, caressing them. Despite himself he thought of her body, though of how sensitive she was. Thought of how she would respond if he were to reach out and touch her the way he yearned to.
She stopped in front of him and looked up at him. Her sea blue eyes stared at him. He had never seen such a shade of blue, never. Suddenly she smiled.
Before he could think of anything else she went to the door and locked it. Good, he wouldn't have been able to think of it. She came back, slowly, and he noticed her hips how they softly swung with every step. Tell me what you want, he thought while watching her. She was a beauty and the years had made her even more beautiful. When she was younger she was beautiful but differently, she was rounder. Now she was a real woman with her own taste, shape, instincts and opinion. She had changed a lot since she'd found out about Eddie's betrayal.
"Do you want to talk before?" She shook her head. She couldn't think of a topic. "Do you want to?" "I guess we don't need to." "Do you need me to ...?" "No, I will take care of it." "Where?" "I thought maybe ...." He looked around the room, "the desk?" Catherine also looked around the room. She'd preferred the couch but it was his decision she was just thankful for his help. She nodded, AND slowly went to it. Cath had no clue where or how he wanted it. No words were spoken. The moment she was in front of him, between him and the desk he studied her lips carefully. Does she want me to kiss her? But the reply came to him straight away, of course she didn't. She just wanted sex; it's what she asked for. So his hands reached for her hips, turning her round so that she was facing the door, her back in contact with his chest.
So this was how he wanted it? His hands on her hips. Slowly. One hand suddenly left. She heard the sound of a zipper going down, belt and button being opened. And then the trousers puddled around his legs. Softly she leant forward, her hands on his desk. There was no talking, still. She wanted him to tell her anything, anything she didn't care what. Gil yanked his boxer shorts down and the next thing she felt was his erection pressing against her butt.
With a couple of quick moved he had her skirt pulled up around her hips, and her silky underwear became a torn piece of fabric on the floor. His touch was giving her Goosebumps, but there was an uneasiness which she couldn't avoid. He was being rough, he was being like Eddie. She knew that he was aroused, that he had been since his eyes moved to her underwear barely hidden by her top. She wished she was around too, wished it was as easy for her. She felt him bend her body slightly, felt moving behind her, his arousal pressing against her skin. And then all she felt was him inside her. Catherine gasped in pain, he heard her gasp in pain. He wanted to wait a little, let her adjust, but it was too much. He suppressed a moan deep in his throat. He had imagined this moment many times, but he never thought it would be this delicious. Her hard muscles were accepting him to her body. But that wasn't enough; he wanted it to be better, to be more. How could he not? He couldn't resist touching her a little, running his hand up and down her spine, enjoying that she relaxed a little more at his touch. He continued to move inside her, while she remained still. She couldn't think of her now, he had to be selfish or he would feel too much. He wanted to enjoy this for what it was, sex. Human contact, he couldn't remember the last time he had felt human contact like this. So it shouldn't matter that he wanted more.
It didn't take him long to come and he was sorry that she didn't climax with him. He wanted to hear her cry out his name, but that was not what this was about. He had done as he asked, he came inside her to try and make a child she wanted so much.
After he came he almost lost his balance. His arms pulled her tighter against him; he thought he heard her sigh at his tough. This felt more intimate than the sex, the two of them resting against each other gasping for breath. But to think this was wrong, he had simply done his job, he shouldn't be enjoying her touch so much.
When he slipped out of her, Gil went without saying anything towards the bathroom to clean him up. When he came back he saw her pulling down her skirt and without a second look she went towards the door. "Tomorrow," he asked softly. "Yes," she replied quickly and left.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX END FLASHBACK XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
He was sitting still on the bed when Lindsey came in with the spider he brought over, chatting with it. He couldn't look at her now, not now. "Linds, could you give me a minute?" "Sure, I am in the living room with Bobo." "Thanks baby." "I am not a baby," she returned. She was like her mother. So cute. Why did he have to say that, how cute Catherine was. Why hadn't he ever told Catherine this before? Slowly he pulled him together and went to Catherine's bathroom taking a quick shower. He even borrowed her white fluffy robe, he didn't care.
When he came to the living room Lindsey was staring at him with her big blue eyes. She was looking such a lot like her mother – unbelievable, he thought.
Gil knew that he would need to talk to Catherine's little daughter, speak to her like to an adult. He had to tell her that her mum was in hospital and that she will remain there for a little while to get well again.
He grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down next to Lindsey, silently, watching her play with the spider. "Lindsey, I have to talk to you." She sat down next to him with the box in her hands, watching the spider move FROM one side to the other - he was quite a hairy thing. "Your mum ..." "She cried a lot Uncle Gil." He looked at her and put a stray curl of her hair behind Lindsey's ear. "I know", he didn't, but he didn't want Lindsey to know that. "Do you know why?" The little girl shook her head "No I had a bad dream, and I wanted to sleep in bed with her, but she wouldn't let me into the room. She told me I was old enough to sleep in my own bed," she was silently crying, and it broke his heart all over again. "You are a big girl Linds." "But it was a horrible dream!" "I know. I am sure that she didn't do it on purpose. She had a hard time." Why did she have to look at him like that? The same questioning look her mother gave him so many times. "You remember the time I brought your mum to the hospital?"Lindsey nodded. "It hurt her a lot." "Oh," was the girl's reply. "You know Linds, not every wound is outside. Sometimes it can hurt inside too," he said and put his finger over her heart, "in there and it can hurt more than when you have a blood knee." "But mum was bleeding when we brought her to hospital." "Yes and that healed. Okay ... when somebody hits you and then you fall, you are angry about it. Aren't you?" "Sure." "And you have been told that you aren't allowed to hit back so can't do anything. Right?" She nodded, "And your mum felt like somebody had hurt her and she couldn't do anything against it." "Oh ..." "Warwick brought her to the hospital again last night and she has to stay there for a little while." "Will you stay with me? I don't ..." "Of course," he replied softly and pulled the now crying girl into his lap and his strong arms encircled her, pressing the sobbing form against his chest. "Daddy left ...." "She will come back I swear it Lindsey, she just needs a little time to get better. And I will stay with you till then, okay?" The sobs stopped and she stayed silently in his arms, her face pressed against his chest.
He wasn't too proud of any of that. He had never had done anything like that before. But over the last year he had done a lot of new things, and a lot of things he wasn't proud of.
He held the child as he now wanted to hold her mother. He wanted to hold Catherine and tell her how wrong he had been. He wanted to tell her that she was the most perfect woman in the world to him. He wanted to tell her how he loved all of her, the swing in her hips, the width of her smile. God, he even loved the way she chewed gum when she was nervous. He wanted to tell her that he loved her. He wanted to tell her that he wanted to make love to her, in a bed, and with love. He wanted to kiss her skin, and hear her sigh his name. He wanted that, more than anything else. He new this would not happen easily, that he would have to work hard to even make her talk to him again. He had been so distant these last months and he had shamefully neglected her. Brass had tried to tell him of the changes in Cath, but he had ignored him. How could Brass have noticed and he, the man that shared the most intimate of all experiences with her, have noticed nothing? Or did he just ignore what he couldn't bare? Finally he surrendered to the tears, he couldn't stop them anymore. Soft little rivers poured down his unshaved cheeks, dropping onto Lindsey's sweet head. But Lindsey didn't move, she was brave like her mum. She let herself be comforted and be a comfort. She let herself feel loved and cared for, so did he.
Maybe there was a chance that her Christmas dream was about to come true?
XxXxXxXxXxX End Part 3
More? Mail me: ms.parker@gmx.at
