Chapter Nine: An Old Friend
What followed was another dinner in the Lupin-Potter-Black household during which the tension was so thick that Remus thought he could cut it with a knife. Three days since Harry had found out about them, three days during which every attempt to talk to Harry had failed. Except from Remus' attempt during the very first evening, but that one didn't count. Being shouted at certainly didn't qualify as a real conversation. The problem about the situation was that Remus had absolutely no idea how to improve things for them. Of course he could move to Hogwarts and leave his house to Harry and Sirius for the rest of the holiday, and Remus would have done so immediately had he seen only the slightest chance that Harry and Sirius would get along better if they were alone. But fact remained that Harry showed quite clearly that he appreciated neither presence at the moment.
In addition to that, Dumbledore had been quite insistent on having two wizards around Harry all the time after what had happened at Privet Drive. And as there was nobody else available who knew about Sirius' innocence and had enough time to 'baby-sit' Harry, the only way for them was to keep things as they were in the hope that they might improve soon. Which would not happen anytime soon, from what Remus guessed. Things had gotten bogged down really thorough, really fast.
And it wasn't only Harry's relation to the two adults which was dangling from a thin thread. Ever since Harry had found out about what had once been between Remus and Sirius the other man had not rewarded Remus with any more attention than absolutely necessary, either. They hardly talked, they didn't stay in one room together for longer than absolutely necessary and hardly anytime when they were alone, and they avoided any kind of physical contact, no matter how small. Remus understood the reason behind this, though he doubted that it would change things.
Sirius wanted to show Harry what the teenager didn't give him any chance to speak out loud: that Harry was more important than the relationship to Remus. From the effect it had, Sirius could as well have tried to show his love and devotion to a brick wall. Harry had completely withdrawn from his godfather.
It wasn't that he was downright homophobic, that didn't seem to be the problem at all. It didn't seem to be the fact that Remus and Sirius were gay that had irked him. No, what seemed to have upset Harry had been the fact that neither Sirius nor Remus had ever told him about it. Remus could understand the teenager.
From what he knew, Harry had never been told the complete truth about things that concerned him straight from the start. Until he had been eleven he had not known that he was a wizard, and every single year he discovered something else nobody had told him about. The murderous godfather who in the end only wanted to protect him being somewhere on top of the list. Yes, Remus could understand that Harry had thrown a tantrum upon realizing that his godfather had once been together and might come together again with his former teacher.
But Remus had the strong suspicion that there was something else bothering Harry about this. Something that struck home a little closer. Everybody who knew Harry a bit more closely knew about his desperate wish for a family. He could never have his parents back, but with Sirius he had finally found a father figure in his life. And for three long weeks everything had seemed just perfect.
And all of a sudden, there was another person in Sirius' life who might be just as important for him. Harry was afraid that Remus would take Sirius away, and what he was doing now was just his typical reaction to being afraid: not showing it. The Boy Who Lived wasn't afraid of anything, or so at least Harry thought.
Remus sighed and levitated the dried dishes from the counter into the shelves and cupboards. Harry was already upstairs in his room again and Sirius had gone into the living room after dinner, which meant he was sitting on the sofa staring into the fireplace. Again. He had done that every night since Harry had found it all out. There was nothing Remus could do about that, but he really didn't need a friend who was drowning himself in self-pity right now. Not again.
With a wave of his wand, Remus turned off the lights in the kitchen and made his way towards his study. He could as well spent the rest of the evening getting some work for Dumbledore done.
He crossed the hall and opened the door. Full moon was still more than a week away, and his brooding had kept Remus from paying a tighter attention to what was going on around him. So when Remus realized that something was wrong, it was already too late. The curse hit him before he even had the chance to even draw his own wand.
Sirius had the bad gut feeling that something was wrong. Twelve years in Azkaban might have cost him a lot of things he had treasured in the past, but old instincts didn't just vanish because they were unused for a long time. And all of his instincts were telling him right now that something was not the way it was supposed to be.
During the three years he had worked as an Auror, Sirius had learned to trust those instincts. Grabbing his wand with a silent blessing to Albus Dumbledore for organizing it, Sirius tried to figure out what it had been that had set off his alarm bells.
He had come into the room half an hour ago, while Remus had been cleaning up the kitchen. Sirius had heard him rummage around, had heard the dishes clink in the sink, had heard cupboards open and close again. A couple of minutes ago, the dishes seemed to have been finished and Remus had left the kitchen. There had not been footsteps on the stairs as far as he remembered, but the opening of a door, followed by a low thud. And that 'thud' was what worried Sirius. It sounded as if something had fallen to the floor. Something – or someone.
His wand raised, Sirius opened the door to the kitchen and silently made his way into the hall. The door to Remus' study was standing ajar, but no lights in the room were lit.
Sirius wanted to call out for Remus, but thought better of it. If there really was something wrong, the moment of surprise could be his biggest advantage.
With a soundlessness learned during months of Auror training and perfected during two years of flight from his former colleagues, Sirius closed the distance between himself and the door, mentally going through a list of curses to use in case somebody was hiding in Remus' study.
He took a last deep breath, then stepped into the doorframe while simultaneously lightening the lamps in the room.
The first thing he saw was Remus, slumped down in the chair he usually sat in while working on his desk. His eyes were closed, his lips pressed into a thin line as if he was in pain, and there was blood running down one side of his face, pouring out of a big gash on his left temple. And behind Remus, holding back his head with a rough grip on the werewolf's hair, stood the person who had done this.
Peter Pettigrew.
Sirius had his wand raised and was ready to hex his former friend who had caused him so much pain and suffering with the nastiest spells he could think of, but he held himself back. It would not help Remus if he did anything rash now, because Peter had pointed his wand at Remus' heart and had his hand pressed tightly against Remus' throat. A hand which, Sirius realized, was completely made of silver. That explained why Remus seemed to be in so much pain even though he was unconscious.
"You", Sirius hissed, all the hatred he felt clearly expressed in this one syllable.
Harry finished the first scroll of his Transfiguration essay after dinner. McGonagall's holiday assignment was not difficult, which surprised Harry a little, but for the second part of his essay he would either need to consult his notes from last term or he'd have to go down and get the book Remus had wanted to give him a week ago. One look at the rolls of parchment in his trunk, which were filled with notes in an unreadable scrawl, some even containing written in-class conversations with Ron, and Harry's decision was made.
He didn't like the idea of going down and ask Remus for help, but maybe he was lucky and his godfather's 'lover' was still in the kitchen and he only needed to go into the study and get the book. After all, Remus had offered him to take it, so Harry guessed he didn't have to ask for it again if it wasn't absolutely necessary. He'd prefer not to talk with his former teacher, not at the moment.
As silently as possible, Harry left his room and went over towards the staircase. By now Harry knew which of the wooden stairs creaked and which didn't, so he made his way halfway down the stairs without causing any sound at all. He would have gone all the way down had he not heard his godfather speaking. And Sirius' voice sounded as if something was seriously wrong.
"Let go off Remus, Peter."
Peter? Harry's heart missed a beat. There was only one Peter he knew, and if Pettigrew truly was in the house, it meant trouble. Either for them, or for him. Especially if he had Remus.
Harry could not suppress a shudder when he remembered the silver hand Voldemort had given his servant. Harry's breathing became heavier. He had no need to meet the little rat again, not after what had happened last time. Not after what Wormtail had done with Cedric. Before Harry could do anything about it, the memory of that night came back once again.
'Kill the spare!'
The wand in Harry's hand (When had he drawn it? He could not remember drawing his wand.) started to shake and it took Harry some moments and a couple of deep breaths before he had himself under control again. He didn't want to think about this now, and he could not allow himself to do so. Wormtail was in the house, and Harry needed to keep his wits together to help Sirius and Remus to get out of this situation.
Harry heard Peter laugh, an ugly sound somewhere between a hiccup, a belch and tuberculosis. It might have been intended to sound scary, but it was just plain disgusting. After a short moment, Wormtail answered Sirius.
"Scared for your little boyfriend, Sirius? Scared for wolfie?"
"Let him go, Peter."
Again that laugh.
"Oh, is Sirius Black at a loss for words? Strange, how little you resemble you resemble that big-mouthed, ever-grinning bragger who always had a bloody plan up his bloody sleeve, now that I have a wand pointed at your boyfriend's heart."
Harry carefully took another two steps down, so that he could see the door to Remus' study. He didn't see Wormtail or Remus, they had to be standing sideways in the room. But Harry could see Sirius, and he could see how much his godfather was bothered by what was going on. All colour had drained from Sirius' face, his left hand balled into a fist and his right hand was holding his wand in a dead grip. His eyes were narrowed and his lips pressed into a tight line. Sirius had a look in his eyes which Harry never wanted to receive from his godfather. That look could surely freeze boiling water.
"How did you get in here, Peter?"
"Pretty easy, Sirius. It's not that hard to disable yours and Remus' wards, not after all those years at school with you. I thought they were teaching to change your ward signatures from time to time in Auror training, you should have heeded that lesson. Dumbledore's protection spells were a little more difficult, but I've taken my time and disabled them one after another. We wouldn't want the cavalry come riding in here for help in the middle of all the fun, now would we? Not because of something as stupid as a little alarm. We're all alone here, Sirius, it's just you, me, wolfie and the boy."
"Leave Harry out of this."
Another disgusting laugh.
"Harry is the only reason why I'm here. Or do you think that my lord would send his most faithful servant just to deal with a fugitive convict and a werewolf?"
Now it was Sirius' turn to laugh, though this too was no laugh that was born in mirth.
"I think that Voldemort it mighty nuts if he entrusts an untalented coward like you with something he so desperately wants to be done. Not that I think he sent you alone, I know he didn't. Nobody who knows you just a little would be so stupid. Where's the backup crew, Peter? Outside, waiting until you screw it up, as usual?"
Though Harry could not see Wormtail's face, he could guess that Sirius' last comment had struck home. It was followed by a lengthy silence, and when Wormtail spoke again his voice sounded as if he was speaking through clenched teeth.
"You don't need to now where they are, Sirius. They'll come when I'm finished with you and Remus, and then they'll take the boy to my lord."
"You owe Harry a wizard's debt, you worthless little piece of filth! How can you even think about delivering him into the clutches of this madman?"
Harry could literally hear Wormtail shaking his head.
"There is no wizard's debt to fulfil if it goes against my master's wishes. I can't and I won't. And I don't think that I'll keep up this conversation for any longer, Sirius. I know what you're trying to do, but it doesn't work. You won't keep me from doing what I came here to do, no matter how much you talk.
I think I'll take care of your boyfriend here now."
Sirius tensed immediately.
"For
fuck's sake, that's *Remus* we're talking about, you ruthless piece of
scum."
Wormtail ignored Sirius, but the other hadn't really hoped that this would help
to change his mind. Wormtail had already delivered Jamie and Lily into the
hands of Voldemort, and he had also been willing to accept Harry's death back
then, and last month. Sirius didn't really hope that his conscience would
return from its vacation just now. But he had to try. Remus was already hurt,
and if that traitor did just one more thing to him...
"What do you think how long will it take for him to die if…well, let's say if some silver accidentally came into his bloodstream? I've heard that's supposed to be pretty painful for a werewolf. And it would only take something silver, pressed against an open wound for a little while. Oh, and look – what a coincidence – your dear Remus has a mighty big gash in his temple."
From his position on the stairs, Harry saw Sirius' eyes widen and he knew what Wormtail had to be doing. Surely Wormtail had been intelligent enough to use Remus to shield himself from Sirius. He had to know that Sirius would not risk hitting Remus with a spell aimed at Wormtail. Not really knowing what he did, Harry ran down the remaining stairs, at the same moment when Sirius overcame his paralysis and started forward.
"No!"
They didn't know who had shouted it, Sirius or Harry. But things were happening too fast for either of them to stop and think about this little detail.
Sirius reached Wormtail at the moment when Harry came into the hall and through the open study door Harry only saw is godfather knock the smaller man away from Remus and to the floor. Remus immediately slumped to the side and down from the chair as soon as Wormtail didn't keep him upright anymore. At that moment, they could hear commotion from behind the front door and in the back yard. Sirius looked up from where he had been 'taking care' of Wormtail and for the first time discovered Harry standing in the hallway.
The first thing Sirius said was something he definitely wouldn't repeat in mixed company, but he quickly regained his composure.
"Harry! Take the upstairs portkey and get out of here. Send whomever you find at Hogwarts to help. Now!"
Harry shook his head and wanted to argue with his godfather. He couldn't leave Sirius and Remus here, not with Remus injured and unconscious and a bunch of Death Eaters at the backdoor.
"But…"
Sirius looked up sharply.
"Go Harry! There is no time to argue, just do what I say. I can deal with them, Remus and I will follow as soon as possible. GO!"
Harry nodded and with a last glance at his godfather and Remus ran back towards the staircase. His way upstairs was guided by the sound of curses being shouted downstairs. As fast as his feet would carry him, Harry ran back into his room and took the small box from his bedside table. Inside was a Pepsi can, and Harry didn't allow himself to think much about it before he touched it. He still didn't like travelling by portkey and he doubted that he'd ever lose this fear, but at the moment he didn't have any other choice. He needed to get help for Sirius and Remus and he needed to get it fast. In a flash of inspiration, Harry quickly grabbed his Firebolt from the corner next to the bed and then put his hand onto the can. Immediately, the tuck behind his navel pulled him away.
Harry fell to the floor in the main street of Hogsmeade, in front of Honeydukes. In the last moment before he had touched the portkey, Harry had realized that he would have to cross the distance between Hogsmeade and Hogwarts castle somehow, and using his broom was a lot faster than running all the way. And if there was something he could use now, then it was speed.
Harry didn't even take enough time to brush the street dust off his robes or to try and will his hands from shaking, immediately after he had gotten to his feet again he mounted his broom and zoomed along the main street, into the direction of the castle.
Had Harry run the distance, it would have taken him at least twenty minutes to reach the castle. Now, with his broom at full speed he managed it in slightly less than five, though those five minutes seemed to be the longest Harry had ever lived through. No matter how fast Harry managed to reach the castle, he had the bad gut feeling that it might not be fast enough. Sirius and Remus were in the house, defending themselves against Merlin only knew how many Death Eaters. Remus was injured and possibly still unconscious. They could not apparate out, if the Death Eaters had managed to disable the anti-apparition ward around the house they would not have needed to go the lengths of disabling all the other wards. But if they could not apparate, their only way of leaving the house was the downstairs portkey, and that was in the kitchen. To reach it, Sirius and Remus would have to leave the study, and Harry only hoped that somehow they would manage.
As soon as Harry reached the front stairs, he jumped off his broom and ran inside. He didn't particularly care that he left his broom lying just outside the castle. Under normal circumstances, he'd never leave his treasured Firebolt just lying around, but at the moment Harry had other things on his mind. The question where to go to being top of the list.
Harry could kick himself that he had not thought earlier about what he would do once he reached the castle. Dumbledore wasn't there, he remembered hearing the old wizard explaining his absence to Remus through the fireplace a couple of days ago. And Harry didn't know who else was currently staying at the castle.
But as he had to make a decision anyway, Harry decided to test his luck again and ran towards the Transfiguration corridor as fast as his feet would carry him. He only prayed that McGonagall was here, and that she was in her office.
Harry dashed wildly through the corridors and up the staircases, and when he finally reached the deputy headmistress' office his face had a deep red colour and he was panting. Not bothering to knock, Harry ripped the door open and ran inside.
The first thing that happened was that Harry somehow tripped over the doorstep and came literally flying into the room. Realizing that he was about to fall, Harry closed his eyes and only hoped that the impact would not knock him unconscious. But just before he hit the floor, a strong pair of arms grabbed him around the chest and heaved him into an upright position again.
Good, that meant at least somebody was there.
"Mr.
Potter, would you care to enlighten us about why exactly you come banging into
this office?"
Harry swallowed and opened his eyes while he allowed the person who had caught
him to lead him over towards an armchair at the wall. He knew that voice, he'd
recognize it everywhere. Unfortunately.
As soon as Harry had his eyes open again, he looked into the coal black eyes of his least favourite Professor. Severus Snape was still holding Harry upright by the shoulders and didn't let go until he had pushed Harry securely into the armchair and was sure he wouldn't fall over.
Snape looked as sour as ever, just as if he'd be delighted to expel Harry for running into McGonagall's office without previous announcement. Behind him stood the head of Harry's house next to her desk, an expression of surprise and disbelief on her face. From what her desk looked like, McGonagall and Snape seemed to have been working on the schedules and for the upcoming school year.
"Mr. Potter?"
Snape shook Harry's shoulders and waved a hand in front of his eyes. Harry knew that he had not been in the office for more than half a minute, but patience had never been one of Snape's virtues before. Though he was still panting, Harry did his best to tell what had happened to bring him here.
"Professor…Death Eaters attacked…I, I took the portkey out, but…Sirius and Remus, they're still there, and…Remus…Wormtail…he's hurt, he's done something to him…"
It wasn't coherent, and Harry himself would not have understood what he was talking about, but as soon as he had mentioned the Death Eaters, Snape had sprung to his feet again. McGonagall came over from behind her desk and stood between Harry and her colleague.
"Mr. Potter, do I get this right? You and Remus Lupin have been attacked by Death Eaters, and Sirius Black is still in the house? Why were you at Remus Lupin's house? What in Merlin's name is Black doing there? Did he attack you? And who is hurt?"
Harry suddenly realized that nobody seemed to have told McGonagall the story of Sirius' innocence so far, and neither had he the breath nor did he think they had the time to do so now. He turned his eyes towards Snape, a somewhat pleading quality in them. The older wizard nodded into his direction and then turned back towards McGonagall.
"Black is innocent, Minerva. I'd suspect he has been living with Lupin and Potter during the past weeks, after there was a Death Eater attack at Privet Drive."
He turned back to Harry.
"There are anti-apparition wards around Lupin's house? Professor Dumbledore's wards?"
Harry nodded.
"Minerva, go to the headmaster's office and take them down. Then take Filius and floo to Fletcher's office. Take as many Aurors as he can spare and go help Lupin and Black. Whatever happens, don't let them take Black to the Ministry. Fletcher knows about him, but I don't think anybody else does. Bring them here as fast as possible, I'll take care of Potter."
Harry was slightly startled when McGonagall immediately left the room to do as Snape had said. That she as the deputy headmistress was taking order from Snape seemed to stand against all reason. But soon it dawned on him that Snape could hardly go on his own to stop the Death Eaters who were attacking Remus' house, not if Harry's suspicions were true and Snape was sent to go and spy on them again. And Snape surely knew more about how to deal with those kinds of situations than the Transfiguration professor.
Harry looked up in surprise when Snape handed him a glass of water. As he took it, he realized that his hands were shaking worse than before.
"Potter, I need you to tell me exactly what happened."
Snape leaned against McGonagall's desk and stared at Harry intensely, waiting for him to begin. Harry quickly drowned the water, placed the glass on the desk and began to tell.
"I was upstairs, I don't know how it started. But when I went downstairs", he checked the clock behind McGonagall's desk, "something like fifteen, maybe even twenty minutes ago, Sirius was talking to Wormtail in the study. He seemed to have overwhelmed Remus, and he was threatening to kill him. Wormtail said that they had come to take me to Voldemort."
Harry swallowed hard against the lump that formed in his throat. Because of him. It had all happened because of him. No matter how much Remus and Sirius had insisted that they wanted to have him with them, in the end they had come to harm because of him.
Snape nodded.
"What about the wards around the house? Do you know how they brought them down without setting all alarms off?"
"Wormtail said something about Sirius' and Remus' ward signatures. That he knew them and brought down the wards that way. And that they somehow managed to bring down Professor Dumbledore's wards as well, though it took more time.
Then Sirius and Wormtail were shouting insults at each other for some time, before…Wormtail, he threatened to kill Remus, to bring silver in his bloodstream, and then Sirius ran in and knocked him over. It…it all happened so fast, there were other Death Eaters trying to get into the house and then Sirius saw me. He told me to take the upstairs portkey and get help, he said he and Remus would come after me as fast as they could."
"What about Lupin?"
Harry just shook his head.
"I don't know. I don't know what Wormtail did to him. He was still alive, but unconscious I think. And Wormtail said that he was bleeding. I don't know what happened after Sirius knocked Wormtail out, I just don't know."
Harry felt a tingling pressure behind his eyes and quickly lowered his gaze so that Snape would not see the tears that were forming there. Now that he had done everything he could, now that he had reached the castle and sent for help, all of Harry's reserves seemed to crumble. He was tired, exhausted, hungry, thirsty and afraid, and all he wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry until somebody came, gave him a hug and told him that everything was alright again. Of course, that was no alternative. He was fifteen years old by now, and fifteen year olds didn't behave like that.
Snape seemed to realize that Harry had reached the maximum of what he could take, because he pushed himself away from the desk and walked towards the door.
"Follow me, Potter. We'll put you into Gryffindor tower until Professor McGonagall and that good-for-nothing godfather of yours come here."
Harry didn't even react to Snape's taunting, he silently followed the Potions master through the corridor and down a staircase. Harry was long since running on automatic, he did neither register what way they took, nor did he hear the trademark billowing of Snape's robes every time he turned around a corner. Within minutes, both were standing in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady.
"Professor, what a surprise to see you here. Oh, and Mr. Potter, I see."
Snape didn't answer the Fat Lady's question, instead he barked the password at her.
"Gillyweed"
"If you say so."
The Fat Lady swung aside and revealed the Gryffindor Common Room behind the entrance. Harry stepped in, followed closely by Snape.
With a wave of his wand, the professor lit a roaring fire in the fireplace and immediately the room became lighter and warmer. Harry sunk into a sofa in front of the flames, completely ignoring the unusual picture of the head of Slytherin house standing in the Gryffindor Common Room.
"I will send a house elf to bring you some food and prepare you a bed. I have to go and tell Madam Pomfrey about what happened. She'll be in the infirmary and I'll be in my office, should something else happen."
"Thank
you, Professor."
Snape just nodded coldly at him and then turned and left the room. Harry sank
back into the sofa and pulled his knees up to his chest. Now he was alone.
Everybody else was out there, doing everything they
could to help Sirius and Remus and all he could do was sit here and wait for
them to come back. And he dreaded the news they would bring with them.
Harry didn't doubt that Sirius was a powerful wizard, but he had spent fourteen years without a wand and had just recently been given a new one. Harry had his doubts whether his godfather would have been able to defend himself against a group of opponents, and not only defend himself but also defend the unconscious and helpless Remus.
Harry had not allowed himself to cry in front of Snape, and actually he didn't want to cry at all, but now that he was here, alone in the otherwise always crowded Gryffindor Common Room, Harry couldn't hold back the tears. They just spilled out of his eyes and ran down his face beyond his ability to fight them back.
Why did all this shit always have to happen to him? For a couple of glorious weeks, everything had seemed to finally turn out great. He had been living with Sirius and Remus, two people who really seemed to care for him. They had cared that he was feeling alright, that he was doing his homework, that he was eating enough, Sirius had taken him flying while Remus had played chess with him, they had comforted him after his nightmares and had been there when he needed someone to talk to. It had been fun. It had been just like Harry had always imagined living in a family.
And then he had found them snogging on the sofa.
It wasn't the fact that they were both men which had annoyed him so much. Truly, Uncle Vernon had always talked about gay people as if they were mentally ill, but then again who ever listened to what Uncle Vernon said.
No, Harry didn't particularly mind that his godfather was gay, or that Remus was gay. He didn't even really mind that they were together. But what really, *really* pissed him off was that again nobody had seen the need to tell him about it. If he had not found them on the sofa, they would have kept on lying to him for the rest of the summer. And that made Harry really angry.
Nobody ever told him anything, he always had to find things out himself, he always was the last to find things out. Nobody seemed to care that this made Harry feel either dumb or like a small child. He didn't like to be treated like that. He had been through so much already in his life, and still people around him thought he was not ready to understand what was going on.
He was angry at Sirius and Remus, and from his perspective Harry believed he had every right to be angry. But he just couldn't help hoping that his godfather and his former teacher would come through the portrait hole any moment. Harry wanted nothing more than seeing them alive and well right now, everything else didn't matter at the moment.
"Harry Potter sir!"
The squeaky voice made Harry look up. In front of him stood a house elf, a tray with tea and sandwiches in its hands. The huge bat-like ears were flopping to and fro, and it seemed to be bouncing on the balls of his feet. As soon as Harry looked at the house elf, he knew why it was so excited to see him.
"Dobby!"
"Professor Snape said to bring something to eat to Gryffindor tower, but he didn't say that Harry Potter was staying here. What is Harry Potter doing here during the holidays?"
Harry shook his head.
"Don't ask, Dobby. Please don't ask."
Dobby put the tray down on the small table next to Harry's sofa and banged his head against the armrest of the sofa once.
"Dobby should not be asking those things. Dobby is sorry."
"Dobby, it's alright. It's just that it is a long story, and I don't really want to talk about it now. But it's not your fault."
In McGonagall's office, Harry had still felt hungry, but now that he had a plate of food standing in front of him, he felt as if he was going to get sick. Nevertheless he took one of the sandwiches and nibbled at it listlessly.
"Dobby?"
"Yes, Mr. Potter, sir?"
"Could you…could you stay here for a while? I could do with some company."
The small creature nodded enthusiastically.
"Dobby
would be honoured to be company for Harry Potter. Dobby has to be in the
dungeons in half an hour, but until then Dobby will stay here with Harry
Potter."
Harry managed a weak smile into the direction of the small elf.
"Thank you, Dobby."
They didn't talk much after that, but Harry had not intended for them to talk. He was just glad not to be alone in the common room. It appeared to be so big when nobody else was staying at the castle.
Dobby encouraged Harry to eat more of the sandwiches, then he sprinted upstairs to prepare Harry's bed in his dormitory, came down again and dusted off the tables and sofas.
He was in perpetual motion, but Harry was really glad for it. Watching the small creature fuss around the room kept him from brooding too much. The time passed within a blur, and before Harry even realized it, Dobby bid him goodbye and left for the dungeons, of course not without promising to return while Harry was still staying at Hogwarts. And as quick and silently as he had come, Dobby vanished again.
Harry sighed and leaned back on the sofa. Surely it couldn't take that long to go and get Sirius and Remus out of the house? What could be keeping McGonagall and the Aurors she had been supposed to bring?
Maybe one of them had seen Sirius and had alerted the Ministry before Fletcher could stop him? Harry thought that wasn't likely. Sirius didn't resemble his wanted posters that much anymore, and he'd surely be intelligent enough to transform into Padfoot as soon as all those strangers approached.
Another reason why still nobody had come and told him what had happened could be that something had gone horribly wrong. Maybe McGonagall and the Aurors had arrived too late. Maybe Wormtail had already made his threat a fact before help arrived. Maybe Harry had been too late, had taken too long to reach the castle and now Sirius and Remus…
Harry didn't allow himself to finish that thought. He didn't want to think about what could have possibly happened to Sirius and Remus after he had left. They surely were alright, they *had* to be alright.
Harry didn't know what to do. For a short moment he contemplated leaving the common room and retrieving his broom from where he had left it, but soon Harry decided against it. Knowing his luck, people would come running into the common room with news as soon as he had left it.
Harry lay down on the sofa, facing the fireplace, and studied the pattern of the fabric on the pillow next to his head. He found a loose red thread and started picking on it for a while. Only when the entire side of the pillow was covered in lose threads of red and gold did he stop. His hands had started shaking again, too much to grab the fine threads anymore. Harry balled his right hand into a fist and slammed it into the pillow, over and over again. All his anger and frustration was finally breaking through.
"It's. Not. Fair. Not. Bloody. Fair!"
Harry emphasized each syllable with a well aimed punch into the pillow, and only when his knuckles started to hurt did he grab the pillow and threw it onto the wall with all his might.
The blasted tears were back again. This time Harry didn't even try to fight them, he just buried his face in the armrest of the sofa and sobbed for all that he was worth. Harry didn't know for how long he had cried, when suddenly the portrait hole opened and somebody called out his name.
"Harry?"
Harry wiped his eyes and within fragments of a second he was sitting bolt upright on the sofa, staring wide eyed at the door.
Sirius was standing in the doorway and slowly came over to where Harry sat. He looked as if he had just returned from a short trip to hell. His black hair, which was usually held back in a ponytail, was messed up and falling loosely around his shoulders, his face was pale except from his left cheekbone, where a dark bruise was already forming. He was walking carefully, as if every part of his body was aching, but nevertheless he managed to smile weakly at Harry.
Harry didn't look at Sirius' appearance, not at all. For a moment he was staring at his godfather as if the older man was nothing but an apparition, but then he jumped off the sofa and flung himself into Sirius' arms without thinking twice about it, not caring in the slightest that those blasted tears were back again.
Sirius winced as Harry's form made impact with his chest, but nevertheless he held Harry close, rubbing comforting circles across his back.
"Sirius…I'm so glad you're alright. I was so worried."
Sirius slowly moved them both over towards the sofa and sat down heavily. Harry withdrew from the embrace and smiled sheepishly, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. Not daring to look his godfather into the eyes, Harry started to babble.
"I'm sorry, Sirius. Really, I'm so sorry. It's all my fault, and I was so worried that you wouldn't make it out there in time. Sirius, I've been a complete ass…"
Sirius squeezed Harry's shoulder gently.
"Harry, it's alright. Nobody is mad at you, nobody was mad at you, okay? We can talk about it when all this is over."
Harry nodded and let out a deep breath. Sirius was back, and though he was a little worse for wear, it would all be alright within some time.
Harry looked into Sirius' face, and the look in his godfather's eyes made his heart skip a beat. Those blue eyes didn't say 'everything will be alright', not at all. And then Harry realized what was wrong.
Sirius had come here alone.
Without Remus.
