He was used to this by now—sleep eluding him, his mind in turmoil. Again he went over the real story, or at least the version told to him by Kozue, and placed it against what he had seen and heard himself.
Miki had no idea how his sister had altered the truth for the sake of credibility, though she didn't have to alter it much. "She really doesn't know how she got there. My impression is she's a bit off in the head..."
"You mean she's insane?"
"Yeah, but she's got a good reason."
"A reason?"
"Oh yes. The result doesn't make sense but the cause does. She wasn't with Kiryuu-sempai at all, she hasn't been, by her own choice or otherwise. But she's madly in love with him."
He'd caught his breath and stared. It made terrible sense and he'd completely missed it. How could he have been so oblivious? "She is? But why..."
"Right, why asleep like that in the music room. Well, don't you think if a girl loved him, really, passionately, truly loved a playboy like the Student Council President, don't you think it would drive her out of her mind? So that she'd do weird things like wander around with no clothes and fall asleep in random places? From what she said that's what I think really happened."
"She said she was in love with him?"
"She didn't even have to admit to it. You can tell every time he walks by in her sight. It's so intense, it obviously has thrown off her mental balance. I hope she gets over it soon."
"Oh, that poor girl." How awful it must be to love someone whose cold heart you could never touch. He'd had the story so completely wrong... But it still left Touga as the villain.
And there was still something that didn't add up. "But then how did she know these people—how could she know Kiryuu- sempai, and his sister, and what was she doing here in the first place? Kozue-chan, she wasn't a student here. The administration had no better idea who she is than we had. Nobody knows where she comes from and nobody had seen her before. It's like...she didn't even exist before that night."
"It must be that she knew him from long ago and finally found him again. Hers is the kind of love that makes people do that—leave everything they have behind in search of that person. The truth is really much more romantic than we'd supposed, isn't it?" Kozue had smiled wistfully.
Miki was shocked that she saw it in such a light. "No, it's just as terrible! It's eating her up from inside. What kind of love is it that drives a person insane? The kind that kills a person. Like Ophelia..."
"Ophelia?"
"You haven't studied Hamlet yet? Ophelia was a girl who was so in love, she went insane and ended up drowning herself."
"Oh! That really is creepy... But aren't all the Shakespeare girls like that? Yumi does remind me of Juliet when she stares at him... Oniichan, you manage to make things so dismal."
"It's a terribly sad story," he'd said, still thinking of Hamlet.
"Aren't they all."
"Kozue-chan, she's killing herself! Can't you help her?"
"Do you think I can change what's in other people's hearts? Didn't you hear about her fight with Nanami? That's what happens when people question her feelings. She won't take it. Just let her be herself...even if she is Ophelia or Juliet."
He knew Kozue was right but it didn't feel right. It was too sad. Must the girl appear at Ohtori Academy only to disappear just as quickly, another victim of Kiryuu's heartbreaking ways? Having found one she loved against unknown odds of space and time, was she destined to lose herself? Such tragedies weren't supposed to actually happen. "It isn't fair. It's just...too sad."
"C'est la vie. But I'm not worried, oniichan, I think she's stronger than we know."
"I hope you're right..."
"By the way, she was really upset that you thought Kiryuu-sempai had done that to her."
"Oh, no! I'm so terrible for thinking that..." Miki was awash with shame. "I'll have to apologize..."
"No, I think it would be better not to bring it up."
"Oh—I guess so." He couldn't face her now anyway; he had no right to the secrets of her heart. And he had no right to judge them either. "Well, thank you for telling me."
"When she heard that you misunderstood, she wanted you to know the truth."
"She must have."
There the conversation had ended, and perhaps they both lay awake for a time after. Both had nothing more to say but plenty to think. And Miki's thoughts were full of remorse, as he went over and over what was said, trying to make sense of it.
Yes, her appearance had been bizarre, because ill-starred love was driving her mad.
Yes, this was the reason she said Touga- sama had done something unspecified to her. In actuality he hadn't done anything besides hijack her heart.
And this was the reason she acted so happy to see the world, because she was not an assault victim, she was a girl in love and she had found that person. But, having found him as he was, would she lose her mind?
Kozue must be right about Yumi's strength. He recalled her straightening her shoulders with her back facing him. "Please don't worry about me, Kaoru-sempai."
But one last discrepancy remained: still it didn't explain Touga's violent reaction to his suspicion. It was the first (and probably the last) time any of them had seen Kiryuu lose his suave composure. Did he actually know Yumi from the past? No—that reaction had come before Juri provided Yumi's description. It was something else, probably something that had nothing to do with Yumi. Maybe Kiryuu was just as upset that someone would think that of him...
In the darkness Miki cringed inwardly. He would rather apologize to Yumi, but he really must apologize to Kiryuu.
More rumors came the next day. Actually, it wasn't gossip, it was news, because people had actually seen it. After going AWOL for hell knew what reason, Tenjou Utena was back.
In girl's clothes!
"Oh. Where did she go?" said Yumi noncommittally. She half-remembered saying once that she didn't care about Utena. Best to keep to her word.
"Whaaat? Don't you know about Tenjou Utena?" Rini chattered. "She's like a rebel. She wears this boy's uniform, it's her trademark. Why is she wearing girl's clothes now? And usually she's so cheerful, but I heard she's acting all sad and withdrawn, it's really strange. Himemiya isn't following her around today, I wonder..."
"If she intrigues you so, why aren't you following her around?" drawled Motoko.
Rini grinned. "Because Yumi- chan is more intriguing!"
"I doubt he would agree. Everyone knows he's got a huge crush on her." Bitterness had cracked through Yumi's cool exterior. Frustrated with herself, she shifted nervously.
"Touga has a huge crush on anything that walks," Chiharu giggled. "Utena just won't give in."
"Probably because she wants to keep the skin on her face," said Kozue, glancing sidelong at Yumi's valiant attempt not to scowl.
Yumi facetiously cracked her knuckles.
"Man, you'd think Nanami was enough. Now no one's ever going to get near him," said Motoko.
"What—How dare you compare me to that clinging egomaniacal whinyass bitch!"
"There just ain't room in this here town for the two of 'em," said Chiharu, imitating a Western movie. Motoko nodded solemnly and mimed spitting a tobacco product, and the two of them cracked up.
"How do you know he's coming by here, anyway?" said Yumi plaintively. "It's been almost fifteen minutes and we don't even have much time until class starts..."
"It's barely been five minutes. You have no sense of time. Besides, his route through school is common knowledge," Kozue replied. "See the crowd?"
Yumi shied. "Why does it have to be in a crowd?"
"Well, there isn't much of a crowd today. Everyone's gone to see Tenjou in a girl's uniform."
"Including him," Yumi mumbled.
"Oh, that's—" Kozue suddenly spotted Nanami among the thin crowd. That one would need diverting. She nudged Motoko.
Motoko understood clearly. "Excuse me a minute."
"Huh?" Yumi looked at the empty space where Motoko had been standing.
"Nanami-sama, you're so smart, could you look over my homework please?" begged Motoko, who had always been secretly self-congratulatory on her acting abilities. "I'm so sorry to bother you, but I'm really bad at this sort of thing..."
Nanami quirked an eyebrow. This was silly; oniisama would be here soon.
"Please? It won't take much time. I think you're the only one who can help." It was hard to keep from pointing and laughing at the makeup-covered scratches still visible on Nanami's face.
Nanami stifled a sigh and smiled graciously instead. She had a reputation as a good-natured model student to maintain. "Of course, I'd be glad to."
Ah! There was oniisama now. Perfect timing: she had a random act of kindness to brag about. "Good morning, oniisama!" she shrilled.
The groupies backed off like startled vultures; Yumi cringed and looked for a wall to bang her head against. Finding none, she made a nauseated groan. But the sound of his voice, even if it was greeting Nanami, was balm over her anxiety.
"Oniisama! I'm going to help another student with her homework. But I'll see you later, right!"
"Isn't that considerate of you." He gave Nanami an ingratiating smile.
Nanami beamed as she led Motoko to the library. There was always a point to being kind if oniisama praised her for it.
Yumi didn't see Motoko's comical wink and thumbs up. She saw nothing else in the world...
"Oh, wherefore art thou Romeo?" Chiharu dreamily quoted in English.
"Yeah, seriously. Come on, Yumi, now!" Before the groupies could regroup, Kozue shoved her forward into his path, then retreated into the shadows with Chiharu and Rini.
Touga then glanced at Yumi, who was severely afflicted with deer-in-the-headlights syndrome. Kozue smacked her own forehead. Poor Yumi was going to embarrass herself.
When she looked at him everything else in the world, including herself, disappeared. She was a vague abstraction; her consciousness became so entirely focused on him that it forgot its own existence. Even as her skin craved his, she wasn't really aware of it, as that was part of herself. Everything that he was filled every part of her awareness, and everything that she was got crowded out.
But this was a strange new duplicity. His eyes had fallen on her for a moment; he was now aware of her. Her consciousness was so filled with him that when he was aware of her, even marginally, she couldn't help but know that. Yet at the same moment she wasn't sure or didn't care about her own existence, so his becoming aware of her existence really made no sense at all.
He wasn't really giving her that much attention. It was a passing glance simply because she had suddenly appeared in front of him. He might have seen her somewhere, but he didn't know who she was. He was about to lose interest, but she looked distressed and his chivalry took over. "Is something wrong?"
He had spoken to her, gentle words that floated through her mind without any meaning. But she had no words. Then she remembered the thing in her hand. She was supposed to give it to him, and he was supposed to read it, though she'd long since forgotten why.
She thrust the letter toward him, exclaiming urgently, "Here! Please read this!" After he took it with a little smile of amusement, she bowed quickly and turned to run.
Obviously another routine confession of undying love. But the back of her head, unruly vivid aqua hair and slim body nervously poised for flight, he knew he'd seen before. He left off opening the letter and caught her arm.
She gasped. His touch... the shock of it seemed to reverberate through the entire universe with her lower abdomen as the epicenter. Why she tried to pull away, she had no idea, but it didn't work.
The girls watching from the shadows squealed.
"You. You're the girl who fought my sister, aren't you?" he said with slow bemusement, almost teasing.
That was a matter of her pride. Her dignity, her human autonomy. He could take away all her pride with a wave of his hand if he wanted, but not by bringing that up. Even as her knees weakened, even as the shock of soft crimson and hard cobalt made her lungs forget to operate, she turned and looked defiantly into his eyes. "Yeah, so?"
It was still unclear whether or not he was teasing her. "Well, you've got a lot of guts. Not many people would fight Nanami."
"She started it."
He laughed. "I know." The girl was willing to stand up for herself. Not self-righteousness, but something purer, though immature in form. Nobility. It was a rare quality, but Utena shared it—or used to.
And did she know the reason Nanami had attacked her? Did she know the rumors, did she have any idea what Miki had accused him of?
She saw something flash behind his eyes, anger or pain, it was too quick to say which. It tore at her with love, unspeakable longing welled up inside her, longing for what? She couldn't even tell really, it was just an emotion that was there, who knew what the end of it was; but she knew there was fury at anything that would hurt him, and she wanted to take everything that ever caused him pain and kill it and stomp it into the ground.
Does he think I started those damn rumors? she wondered. Overcome with shame at the thought, she wanted to say something to refute it but couldn't find anything.
She didn't have to say anything. Touga found the girl's heart written all over her face. Clearly she knew of the rumors and she hated them too. And her expression told him better than would the document she'd thrust at him of how pathetically smitten she was. This one would be fun to play with.
He changed the subject for her. "Are you going to tell me your name?"
She didn't really hear the question, because as he said it he released her arm with a caress that made undiscovered muscles clench. She had to bite her lip to stifle a whimper; color rushed to her face and her pulse raced; she took a deep slow breath to try and calm herself.
Mistake. She only succeeded in catching his scent, and from once upon a time she remembered the scent of him being not so physical, yet something sweetly spiced and thoroughly intoxicating; but now the aroma she inhaled was purely of his body, salt and copper and faint aftershave, the corporeal truth of him... And if she touched him now her hand would actually touch him, her skin would meet his, and they both would feel it—as he already had, dragging his fingertips across her so that she knew by primal instinct that the starving moisture beneath her skirt was not some completely unrelated human oddity but a direct result of his touch.
It really was driving her mad. She was free to run now, and her mind commanded it—she couldn't endure this, he was too carnal and she had how long until classes began... Her feet disobeyed entirely and shifted her toward him instead. If she heard the jealous groupies trash-talking her, it was only through her subconscious and reminded her there that she was being seduced.
This is too damned easy, thought Touga. I can just walk by and she's wet in the pants. She has a strong will but not over her own body. She doesn't even know it; she can't believe how quickly she's lost control, she didn't even hear me ask her name. Well, I can show her a few things about control. It really will be too much fun teasing her. He leaned over to whisper in her ear, letting his hair brush against her face. "Maybe you'll want to tell me later. Like at midnight. In the rose garden."
She couldn't stop herself this time: she whimpered, an affirmative, pleading sound, as if he'd paused during foreplay to ask her if she liked it.
Too bad they were out in the open lobby or he'd have given her a little physical reassurance as well. Instead he dropped his voice to barely above unadorned breath. "Tonight... I'll make love to you...on a bed of roses."
"Oh..." she sighed, melting into the floor. He left as smoothly as if she had never interrupted his path at all. Yumi was stuck trying to subdue her own arousal. Groupies shoved her roughly out of the way, but she didn't notice.
Kozue and her friends emerged when he was safely out of earshot, for they emerged more by sound than appearance: "OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!"
"Tell us what he said! Ooh, he was whispering to you, what did he say?!?"
"Did you get asked on a date? Come on, tell!"
"Oh, look at that blush, she was obviously invited to bed. Right, Yumi-chan?" Kozue nudged her conspiratorially.
Yumi couldn't even nod. All she knew was midnight rose garden midnight rose garden midnight bed of roses make love Touga-sama Touga-sama Touga-sama Touga-sama... For the rest of the day she was reduced to a blushing Freudian-slip machine.
Motoko had her own greatly entertaining tale to tell of Nanami being a moron, but Yumi was obviously too distracted. Like anything that involved Yumi being coherent, it would have to wait.
"Maybe we should have caught him after school," mused Kozue before lunch. "It sure was mean of him to give you that invitation in the morning. The day must really be taking its own sweet time for you, huh?"
Yumi was sucking on the end of her pen. She put the writing utensil down and turned scarlet when she finally realized why Kozue and Rini were giggling so much.
It was cruel, Touga knew, to tell her that before school started. But that was his strategy, to make her spend the entire day in a state of suspended arousal, so that when midnight finally came she'd be nearly out of her mind with desire. Then she'd really be fun to play with.
He walked into class late with the all- purpose excuse of urgent Student Council business. People who had seen him hitting on the aqua-haired girl snickered. He opened the love letter as a matter of duty. The elegant stationery contrasted with the interesting fact that it was written almost entirely in hiragana. How old was she? Still, the content was standard: breathless this, dreams that, pounding heart this, eternal truth that... Fairly intense, but nothing unusual. It was signed "Yumi." No family name, no kanji, just "Yumi." Interesting. But really the only interesting part was the postscript: P.S. All that flowery high-winded crap was just for show. Fickle words won't really tell you what's in my heart.
He had never before seen anyone call their own love letter "flowery high-winded crap." So this was someone who recognized crap when she saw it, even when she created it—and someone who wouldn't take any from others. That might be worth remembering.
And now he was thisclose to having Utena as well. At least there were still some interesting lovers to be taken—Anthy had to be the world's most boring lay. If he told her not to come, she wouldn't. If he told her to have a twenty-minute orgasm, she would. (Rather an enviable prospect, but...) If that was the kind of girl Miki went after he should check out the red light district. Only people with their own wills were worth sleeping with.
Ten minutes before midnight Kozue returned to the room. Miki never asked where she'd been, because usually he didn't want to know, but he was concerned. Yumi had been so weird when he said hi...
"Kozue-chan, were you with Yumi-san?"
"Yes, we were studying. How did you know?"
"Well...she seemed really distracted today. Is she alright?"
Kozue had to think fast. She didn't want to tell him the truth, because that would just make him angry and more protective of Yumi. "She's just...you know. Having a little feminine trouble." She congratulated herself on her cleverness: no male would ever ask further questions about that.
"Oh! Excuse me!" Miki blushed furiously.
Kozue hid her giggles. He was too adorable like that. Then she hid more giggles because her lie wasn't totally separate from the truth—the "trouble" did involve that aspect of the body...
On the stroke of midnight she suddenly sat up in bed. "Oh, shit!"
"Huh? What?" blurted Miki, waking halfway.
She had forgotten to give Yumi condoms. Idiot Touga never had any, and Yumi probably didn't even know what they were. "Um... I forgot to do some homework. It doesn't matter, I'll do it in the morning." That was a good idea, actually. She should still have a couple morning-after pills. She must have some, or Yumi could be screwed both physically and situationally...and Miki would be mad at her. And blasé as she pretended to be, she really couldn't stand that.
Promptly at seven o'clock, Kozue and co. had shown up at Yumi's dorm to find her dancing around the room to Hamasaki Ayumi. Dinner was provided by Rini, who was the star of the cooking class so that everyone joked she had stolen Himemiya's share of competence.
"We gave you time so you could do homework," Motoko scolded. Ironically, after getting "help" this morning, she'd had to rush through hers and knew it all looked half-assed.
Chiharu snickered. "It's okay, she'll just get Nanami to help her." Laughter chorused over Ayumi's poignant voice.
"That might have dangerous consequences," said Rini, revealing the contents of various tupperware containers. "I mean she'd look at it and every answer would be 'Touga-sama'..."
"Who's cussing in my dorm?" said Yumi, hands on hips.
"What? Nobody's cussing. That would be like fuck shit damn asshole cocksucker..." Motoko made a string of every impolite word she knew, which was rather impressive.
"You know that's not it. I distinctly heard the name of the eternally damned blonde mosquito in here."
They giggled, partly with relief that Yumi had reached some semblance of coherence.
"But isn't it excusable to mention the name for purposes of derision and ridicule?" Chiharu argued.
"Derision and ridicule...I suppose so."
"Oh, this was painfully derisive," Motoko began, and told the story over dinner. Her storytelling ability went along with her acting, and her bitingly sardonic rendering of Nanami's attempt to tutor her had everyone else in tears. This had the intended effect of shaving off the stress that had accumulated on Yumi during the long day.
There was wine for dessert. Kozue had nabbed it from Juri, so she insisted on pouring it. "Wait, we have to toast something," said Chiharu.
"A toast to Yumi-chan's virginity... in its last hours!" cried Kozue.
Though she wasn't sure what that meant, Yumi blushed and hid a guilty smile as the others cheered.
One bottle of wine was just enough, not too much, for the five of them, so after it was finished, they set to the real task: makeover.
She couldn't really remember it, except that they complained at how her hair did not obey the laws of anything, not gravity, not water, not mousse, not gel, not spray—it remained obstinately spiky. Eventually she had to just wash it again because there was so much useless goop in it.
"Not too much makeup, it just smears, and it's dark out anyway," Kozue had repeatedly advised.
"Oh, look at these dresses! You've got good taste. It'll be a tough decision..."
"As if there was a point to putting clothes on in the first place."
"But the most important thing is underclothes, because that's what they really struggle with. Skipping them altogether is also a statement."
"Yeah, probably one you don't want to make."
"Red undies?! Ooh, that's so racy!"
"What about black? That's like somber and mysterious."
"White is pure, gold is sophisticated, grey is neutral..."
"Which one's the most appealing?"
"Who are we dealing with here? Anything's appealing. But what you don't want to do, Yumi, is misrepresent yourself. Why don't you go with white..."
Like a princess surrounded by her ladies- in-waiting, she resigned to letting them choose every aspect of her attire. It left her to think...of him...
It was all so...surreal. Like the Ayumi song. "In a nonexistent place I stand as I am. Please be yourself, that's how I want you to be." Ayumi, Yumi: the names were different by one syllable. Did it mean anything?
She had a waking dream that she was in a long-ago era, feudal and firelit, a lady of the court being adorned by her attendants, being made beautiful for a tryst with the renegade prince who had caught her eye. Once she'd gathered the courage to write, he responded to her ardent poems, and now they were to be lovers... Gossip and jealousy would sour the palace air, but it was of no consequence to her, it would not penetrate her happiness; she was going to be with him, with him...
Standing back to admire her, the girls oohed and aahed.
When she looked in the mirror she expected to be covered with paint and silken robes; the sight that met her, a modern girl in a shimmering evening gown, confused her. She didn't know who or when she was for a few seconds, until she remembered why she was dressed like this—to meet him—the bemusement in his eyes, half smile curving his full lips, the touch of his hand across hers. His soft hair stroking her as he whispered unbelievable words in her ear.
"And thirteen minutes to spare!" Rini sang triumphantly.
Yumi satisfied herself with one twirl in front of the mirror. "So where's this damn rose garden?"
Motoko narrated in a pedantic voice, "After being groomed by other females in her clan, the aqua-haired monkey avidly seeks the most virile male to get her freak on."
"You and me baby we ain't nothin' but mammals..." Chiharu began singing in English, nodding her head to a heavy unheard beat.
"What?" chorused everyone else. She translated the lyrics. Yumi didn't quite understand but swatted at Chiharu anyway.
"Hey, c'mon! That's the funniest song in the world, you should really see the translation."
"Are we forgetting anything?" Kozue worried.
"Video camera?" suggested Rini.
"SCANDALOUS VIDEO!" Chiharu shouted, in English again. Everyone giggled but Yumi. "Sorry... old joke."
"Maybe we're forgetting to walk out the door!" Yumi insisted. She had to direct them.
The giggling quartet led her across the bridge to the campus proper, and then Kozue simply said, "Smell the roses?"
Yumi inhaled the cool night air, and found a scent of love and dreams. "Yes."
"Just follow the scent that way. It's a greenhouse, it says Student Council Only."
"Okay. Thanks." She tried to smile but was past that point. "Thank you for the party, everyone!"
They had wished her good luck with winks and nudges, then departed quietly. She looked at the waxing moon, a bright semicircle hanging in the west, then followed the fragrance...
And here she was standing now, inside a house of glass and roses. It didn't matter what color they actually were; all the blooms were silver under the moon and stars. The sight was heartwrenchingly beautiful, and the sweet dreamland fragrance almost made her weep.
This is where Touga-sama wants to...
"I'll make love to you...on a bed of roses."
In the silvery darkness she ached for him. She reached out and brushed some roses with her fingertips, to make sure they were real, to see how they felt. They were soft and cool. This was an enchanted place, she felt that in every nerve, and she knew that later she would wonder whether or not she had dreamed. But the strongest enchantment could not keep her from his reality. She craved his touch, his presence...so it was not a surprise, but an anticipated gift, when he came.
She wasn't sure if she heard or felt his entrance, or both, but her pulse quickened even before she turned to see him.
He gave her the smile that turned all their legs to soba.
The celestial light illuminated her expression of angelic rapture, and he suddenly wondered if she was human. She seemed to be part of the surroundings, turned to silver, with pale skin and aqua hair and glimmering gown holding the glow of the moon and stars. Yet something else about her waiflike appearance was a bit unearthly...
Oh well. He'd figure it out later if it was important. He took her hand to make sure she wasn't a ghost; her skin was cold, so he knelt and touched his lips to it sensually to stir her blood.
The silence was hard to break, and she was afraid to do so. He saved her the trouble. "So your name is Yumi... almost like 'dream.'"
"Yes..."
"But there must be more to your name."
"Not really... but they call me Maigo Yumi."
"Maigo?" He touched her cheek, running a caress down to her shoulder. "And are you lost?"
Ecstasy shone in her eyes, dilating her pupils so the color almost disappeared, making two gleaming dark pools like new moons. "No. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be."
He drew her closer. "Then they're wrong, aren't they. Yumi." He made her name a caress as he traced the nearly nonexistent curves under her satiny gown. She was so childlike, he hoped he wasn't screwing a tall sixth-grader. Well, her easy arousal was evidence of adolescence, so...
"Touga-sama..." Her voice was small. The beauty of the moment seemed to stretch on and on into infinity, like he and she were the only two people in an eternal dream world of midnight roses. An aura of pure happiness flowed from her and he couldn't help but feel charmed by it.
He smiled gently. They all said "Touga-sama" but it made him feel somehow far away. "Just Touga."
"Touga... dance with me."
Dance? That was a rare request for foreplay. But now he knew exactly what kind of loving she wanted—sweet and tender and ridiculously romantic. Of course, once she got going she'd completely forget about romance, though the rose garden at night did have that bewitching dreamy effect.
"May I have this dance?" He bowed and took her hands, then started humming a waltz, Tchaikovsky's Sleeping Beauty. She obviously didn't even know how to dance so he just twirled her around. This was really corny, he thought, but indulged her anyway.
Well, time to move things along. When he couldn't remember any more of the song he unzipped her dress so smoothly that she hardly noticed, and it fell to the floor by itself. Her underwear was almost glowing white, too sparsely adorned by lace to be called lingerie. Like her unique love letter, it said she didn't like to disguise things behind too much embellishment.
She was startled more by the air against her skin than the fact that he'd done that. She shivered despite the warm greenhouse air when he took her close in his arms, stroking her bare back. He tilted her head and gave her a long look of urgent desire, kissing her first with his breath.
Her lips were parted and she was trembling with thrill, like a dictionary picture of "virgin." So he made his kiss as soft as a falling rose petal. He continued being gentle even after desire began making her insistent and clumsy.
The world was afire. A little flame had lit at the meeting of their lips and spread out to cover everything, a match struck on a pool of gasoline. Softness, gentleness, chivalry, strip it all away, strip down to what they'd really come here for. Yes. Touga. Touch my skin. Use my body. Make me human. The timeless chemical imperative overtook her: his skin must be upon hers, their naked bodies must be together, nothing else mattered at all.
She showed impressive dexterity unhooking the fastenings on his uniform; perhaps she worked well under pressure. How would she adapt to this? His hand made its way down her pants, where she was swollen and juicy. At least she was well into puberty. Her bud was as easy to find as it was to stimulate. He massaged her lightly with his fingertips, teasing. Her reaction was predictable; his uniform jacket dropped as she moaned and writhed against him. Not to be outdone in dexterity, he unhooked her simple bra with one hand and tossed it aside. Her bare(ly developed) breasts touching him started his own arousal. But he didn't let her come. The time for that was a long way off.
When they were both totally undressed he carried her to a wide flat bed of velvety blooms and tenderly laid her down. Roses and celestial light surrounding them, they gazed no longer in one another's eyes but at one another's bodies. Yumi was too tall and thin to be pretty, and her hair always looked like she'd slept on top of a fast train, but she had charm nevertheless; her current rapture lent her beauty.
If someone asked her to describe Touga later she probably wouldn't be able to. He was a moonlit god; he was a Renaissance painting; he was a pillow book picture scroll; he was that borderline myth between dreams and reality that everyone reached for...this was why so many loved him; he made it too easy. My love, my prince. I love you. I want you! Touga-sama! She drank in the whole sight of him and then her eyes focused on the center; with a few roundabout caresses she reached out and took hold of him.
A moan escaped him, a low throaty sound that elicited a reaction in her center. He let her rub him again, then straddled her, moving his face down to kiss her softly like before. But this time they melted into deep fervent hunger.
"Touga, now," she begged him.
"Not yet." That exchange would be repeated in various forms over the next hours—maybe only one, maybe two or three, but some maddening length of time—during which he brought her to the edge and kept her there, waiting and pleading, with just a few simple tricks, not even anything too heavy. He did this not just because the totally smitten ones were the most fun to tease, but also because she was so obviously a virgin and the final act was bound to hurt her. When she came, it had to be so long anticipated that she no longer noticed the pain, because a bleeding unsatisfied ex-virgin was hardly pleasant to deal with. He had to enter her slowly and yet pace his movements so she didn't start coming too soon. And with one so eager it really was a challenge.
But he managed it in the end. As he felt her nails in his back, her muscles clench around him, and heard her cries of unbelievable pleasure, he congratulated himself with his own release.
The hopelessly devoted ones were the most fun to tease and, sometimes, to watch when they came. Unfortunately they were also the ones whose hearts broke into the most pieces.
"You do know I'm going to break your heart," he whispered later.
"Shut up."
Kozue left early to bang on Yumi's door. The lanky girl answered unkempt, in underpants and a camisole. It was obvious that she hadn't slept, but her golden eyes glittered like the morning sun, and her look was of one with a joyous secret.
As if it were a secret!
"Good morning, Kozue-chan! Want breakfast? It's poached eggs."
"No thanks. Here, I've got something for you." Kozue held out a tiny case. Having little modesty herself, she wasn't bothered by Yumi's near complete lack of it.
"Oh, thank you." Yumi opened it naively. There were small pills inside. "Is it candy?"
"No, it's medicine. It's...um...good for you...after you sleep with someone." Kozue wasn't about to go explaining the birds and bees, though someone would have to tell Yumi about the facts of life soon, and it would probably be her. But for now she just gave the instructions for the morning-after pills.
"So how are you feeling?" Kozue asked after Yumi had taken the first pill and promptly forgotten about them.
Yumi scooped the eggs from the boiling water. "Like I dreamt without sleeping... Like..."
"No, I mean physically, how do you feel?"
"Oh...okay, I guess."
"Are you coming to class today?"
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Well you haven't slept... I can tell them you're sick and you can just sleep in."
"But I feel fine. I'm not sleepy."
"If you say so. Sure you don't need a day off?"
"Yes. It'd just be lonesome."
"True. You wanna come tell us every detail, right?" Kozue grinned.
Yumi looked away. "Um, well..."
"Oh, that's right. You like to keep things to yourself. Okay, I won't keep you from your breakfast any more—see you in class." Kozue smiled cheerfully and left.
But as soon as Yumi had eaten, she found herself profoundly tired, and went to sleep so that he teased her more in her dreams.
Kozue guessed what had happened and gave word that Yumi was ill today. "What, morning sickness already?" whispered Rini.
"No, fool, she's just sleeping in. He obviously had her awake all night." They giggled appreciatively.
"See now, I don't get why this is a big deal," said Motoko. "Like a new girl losing her virginity to Kiryuu is really out of the ordinary."
"Honestly, Motoko," Chiharu blurted, "for one thing, Yumi is not an ordinary girl—"
"Don't tell me you actually believe her wacko story."
"Actually I do."
"You would." Motoko rolled her eyes.
Kozue hushed them. They were beginning to attract attention.
Kodama Miteki, in the ninth grade, was one of the quietest girls in the school. She was quiet because she believed that she hurt people whenever she opened her mouth. This was due to a particular gift she'd had all her life, a gift that was really a curse. She foresaw people's misfortunes. When she was younger she used to blurt out what she saw. Then she would be scolded for saying such awful things, and when they came true, she was blamed for making self-fulfilling prophecies.
So now she kept quiet and she kept to herself. She had no friends, for she always looked gloomy, and thought herself quite hateful. Her coloring matched her gloom. No one was sure if her hair was so blue it was black or so black it was blue, but her eyes were one definite color: grey as a sunless winter sky.
There was, however, one thing that gave Miteki a semblance of happiness. That was the piano playing of Kaoru Miki. It was such a wistful, impassioned sound. She had made a habit of sitting outside the music room while he played, pretending to do her homework while she waited for the piano. She did not watch him, only listened without looking at him, for fear that he might notice. Nevertheless she had quite fallen in love with the shy blue-haired boy.
She played the piano herself but had little talent for it. She was better with her voice; her talent, other than dismal clairvoyance, lay in singing.
She also wrote poetry. On the afternoon of the day Yumi was sleeping in, a sheet of this happened to fall out of her notebook unnoticed. It sat there until Kozue found it after a tryst in the music room with some upperclassman whose name she'd forgotten already.
It was a very suspicious poem, one the poet had foolishly decided to sign. Obviously it was a love letter deliberately left where Miki was sure to discover it. But Kozue had found it first.
The name was strange, and too pretty for someone so disgustingly obnoxious. Kozue had never heard it before, but she would find out to whom it belonged. This Kodama person would soon know better than to go after her oniichan.
When Yumi rose she found a note stuck under her door. She remembered someone knocking on the door during the day, a sound which had filtered into her dream as a very unwelcome interruption. Picking up the envelope, she made a sour expression. That had ruined the entire dream. This message had better have a good reason.
The envelope was unmarked but for her name on the front and the seal of Ohtori at the closure. As she opened it, something in the back of her mind wondered if it was a notice from End Of The World that she was to be a duellist. She didn't like the thought. The truth was much more exciting anyway. It was from Touga, his own stationery: his name was typeset at the bottom beside a positively adorable caricature of him.
Dear Yumi— Thank you for the charming love letter, and of course, for the delightful evening. I would like to see you again. Come to my room in the Student Council dorm.
She squealed with relish and pressed the precious document to her. Oh! She'd have to bathe and dress and show it to Kozue-chan and probably have something to eat, no maybe he'd have something prepared, and then and then...
She called Kozue, but no one was in. On her back with her feet joyfully in the air, she reread the letter several times before putting it back in the envelope and tucking it safely away in a blank book.
"Call me the queen, call me the queen," she singsang, using a phrase she'd heard girls use when extremely proud of themselves.
As she found her shower things her joviality suddenly fell. I probably won't be the only girl there, she realized. She'd just be...one of the girls. Just like them. Crammed into their mold, the cookie-cutter image of Touga's lovers...
I shouldn't go.
She should defy it, turn down the invitation. She wasn't like them. Because... because why?
"Because I'm Yumi!" she said aloud. "I'm me. Crazy girl with funny ears! I'm Yumi!"
Was she so different?
Any number of people here melted at his touch, yearned for him, dreamed of him... how many crazy girls had he taken to heaven and back in the Student Council's rose garden?
Was her love so much higher than theirs?
"Well I know his soul and they don't. They don't know anything. That's why they get their hearts broken! The weak and foolish hearts break under the power of truly loving him..."
Yes, what she knew gave her the strength to love him. Knowledge was power. Maybe it was an unfair advantage. But anyone could know it if they really cared to find out.
He doesn't know I have that strength. He thinks he'll break my heart too. So shouldn't I prove him wrong by refusing...
That would make me Utena.
Stupid, stupid Tenjou Utena who denied Touga just because she wanted to prove she wasn't like all the silly ones he could seduce at a glance. Even having lost Anthy (something had happened there, everyone could see that) so that she thought her identity broken and discarded her trademark boy's uniform, even now she continued to deny. She thought she had to be strong; she thought loving Touga would make her weak. Oh, that made lots of sense right there... Baka dayo!
And who do I have to prove that I'm not like? thought Yumi, caught between two extremes. Do I prove that I'm not like Utena, or that I'm not like everyone else?
Of course she wanted to go to him, the thought was absolutely distracting and she really didn't have any reason not to be near him, but that was beside the point. The point was, what would it mean if she did?
The point was, would it mean anything?
The biggest difference between her and the others was that she knew something. The biggest difference between her and Utena was that Utena played hard to get.
"Well, he doesn't need another Utena," she decided aloud.
Because deep in her heart she knew that no matter how many issues she built around it, there was really only one issue and nothing else mattered: she wanted to be with him.
So she went. But she made him wait a bit. She had eaten herself so she wasn't hungry...at least not for food. It was long past dark when she reached the Student Council dorm.
Kozue saw her in the hall. She sported an embroidered red Chinese dress. "Hey, there you are. Sleep well today?"
"Yes, thanks." Yumi smiled quietly. "I called you a while ago, but you weren't in."
"Yeah, I'm kinda busy. What's up? Are you going to a party?"
"Better. I got a letter from Touga..."
"Oh! Good for you!" Kozue giggled. "Do your best!"
"Thanks." Yumi blushed a bit and continued down the hall.
It looked like he had an entire wing of the dorm to himself, and a lavish wing at that. Kiryuu Touga, Ohtori Academy Student Council President, announced a brass plaque on the double doors. She touched it gently before entering.
There were even more people than she'd expected. Like fifteen or twenty more. She stood nervously in the doorway. Are you going to a party? Yup. Dammit.
Touga saw her and poured a glass of champagne. Although her appearance fit in, her expression said that she was out of her element.
I don't want to be here, she thought with dismay. No one had taken much notice of her entry; she could probably leave again.
She was wrong. She turned and he was before her, offering a glass of fizzy stuff. "Yumi. Glad you could make it," he said warmly.
She wanted to fall onto him but was wary of the crowd. "You didn't tell me it was a house party," she pouted.
"You don't like parties?" The face he made at this was so disappointed that all thoughts of leaving were banished from her.
But she couldn't find anything to say. She wanted it to be like the dreams she was having earlier, she wanted at least to be touching him, and she did not want all these stupid people here. When she looked at him, though, all she knew was him, all she felt was love. Blushing faintly, she looked down and back up and murmured finally, "I like...being with you." What a stupid understatement. My dear Touga, she thought. You should know everything in my heart so you know you can't break it.
He almost pitied her. Oh yes, this one would fall hard. He smiled his sweetest smile. "Oh, they'll leave soon. Come on, have some champagne."
She took the proffered glass and sipped as if enchanted, her eyelids relaxing dreamily. The way she touched her lips to the glass was unabashedly sensual. Really, he couldn't wait to have her in bed either. Maybe she wouldn't act quite so virginal this time.
It was wine. It was fizzy. The combination did not appeal to her. The sensual moment ended as she made a face.
He laughed, softer than the situation merited, but there was no need to embarrass her. "Champagne's not to your liking? Well, I'm sure we'll find something to suit your taste." He relieved her of the glass and took her hand momentarily to lead her to a plush sofa.
She did not let go of his hand. How silly of her to act possessive. He saw a few people narrow their eyes: the girl was guaranteed a bitch- slapping tomorrow. He sipped the champagne himself, handed it off to someone who fancied indirect kisses, and filled another glass with red wine. That was the last of it. He'd have to get more if he was to get her tipsy, which he planned to do so that she'd be a little more at ease. Or would that just make her act more possessive?
In fact Yumi was not trying to be possessive, at least not consciously; she only wanted to be touching him, to know that she was with him. She ached to lean against him but stopped herself—why? She didn't care what these loser people thought.
Or did she? She released his hand, leaned back and sipped the red wine like she didn't give a damn. The wine was nicely distracting, dark and rich. It tasted like Touga looked—something she'd want more and more and more of until it killed her. Oh, she'd go mad if she wasn't in his arms soon...
Dammit, I can take this. It's a stupid party. You sit around and drink and look sexy. It's not like I don't know who I'm spending the night with... Yeah check out these people glaring at me, I don't even have to be touching him to make people jealous, I can just be within ten meters of him and get death looks. Are they trying to look like Nanami? Losers. Wasting their energy on jealousy. If they're going to be stupid anyway I can do what I want.
Thus resolved, she put the glass down when she'd emptied it and leaned into him. Everything was made right with simple contact: this was happiness. He looked down and saw the shy blissful smile by his shoulder. If she was determined to get bitch-slapped across the campus, well, not his problem. Sometime when the champagne had relaxed him a little more, Touga put an arm around her. But he didn't just keep it there. As he made party small talk and filled people's glasses he gave her tiny invisible caresses now and then, fidgeting really, but they were only caresses to her. She appeared drowsy and positively stupefied in her bliss. People wondered if she was on something other than alcohol.
"She looks like she's on opium or some shit." "Well she's gonna need painkillers tomorrow!" "Who the hell is she anyway?"
Even the veiled threats were only background noise. Maybe she was introduced and greeted people, or maybe not. None of that was relevant. Now it didn't matter how many hours went by, time didn't mean anything in her world, a quiet eternal eden, a world made only of him.
People began leaving in pairs, one trio. Some stayed, mostly sweet-faced evil-eyed ones. "Soon, Yumi," he murmured enticingly. She twirled a lock of his hair. She could wait. But not too long.
Finally the more jealous ones had left, frustrated and bent on bitch-slapping. The more desperate ones stayed. Clearly the aqua-haired hussy was the favored one for the time being, but they would get their chances. There was a boy among them and the girls teased him, verbally and physically, and got teased in return. Perhaps some of them would also leave in time, but at the moment they were thoroughly drunk. Yumi, of course, noticed none of these inebriated sexual politics.
"Now. Come with me." His whispered command took the ground from beneath her, making everything spin and swirl and melt like a hallucinogen, and the very air hum with electric anticipation. Charges gathering before a lightning bolt.
And he led her through lavishly furnished chambers to his bedroom. It was, of course, the most sumptuously furnished of all the rooms, a place of cushions and velvet and satin. Most of it was pink, the bedsheets were pink. Not a cute pink, not a baby girl pink or a candy pink or a cherry blossom pink. A passionate pink, urgent, hungry, intense. The pink of blushing arousal when he reached under a skirt. The pink of wild roses in full bloom at the height of hot summer, ripe and heavy with dew, starved for pollination. That was the pink he had chosen for his bed—the most sensual color in the spectrum. Not many others could get away with pink bedsheets.
Even in the dim light designed for seduction, the vivid aqua hair in front of it made for an interesting play of colors, along with the liquid amber eyes and the embroidered red dress. He eyed the combination appreciatively before shutting the door behind them and moving in.
They met with all the hot ferocity of striking lightning. Her lips parted for him, she pressed up against him, clasping him tightly. She was as intent as if they were longtime devoted lovers who hadn't seen each other in weeks. Well, she certainly will not be acting virginal tonight, he thought avidly, and so returned and amplified her intensity.
She didn't have any thought. There was only sensation. It was like a higher plane of being, some would say a lower plane, but it was definitely higher, where nothing existed but animal passion, carnal mandates, a tantric place for nothing other than pleasure.
But of course. What else would Touga's bedroom be?
They were naked soon, and she pulled him toward the bed. "Touga..." she pleaded.
She sounded so much like any number of people that he had to see her hair color again to remember who she was. "Slow down," he laughed softly. "Dear Yumi, have I corrupted you so in just one night?"
"I was corrupted when I first saw you."
"Is that how it is?" He moved his lips down to her small, pale breasts, barely touching her at first, sucking gently. She clutched at him, moaning. His hands caressed her waist, massaging her back, and then he began stroking her wet center. They fell onto the bed with her on top, gazing into his deep blue eyes. He continued stroking her and then suddenly she went devouring him with her lips, her mouth unable to stay in one place on him, but moving downward.
He smiled. He knew what she would do now. How easily she made the transition from virgin to whore.
But he hadn't expected her to be so intense at it.
He was only halfway erect, for he was containing his arousal. And somehow when she saw him, his thighs parted for her against the pink satin, she felt an imperative so deep it was spiritual. Had she seen others do this to him, had she seen him do this to other boys, had she done this to him in dreams? Where did she remember this from? Did she remember it? Or was the imperative so strong it only gave the illusion of déjˆ vu? What difference did that make, she wanted to do this, she was supposed to. She attacked him: there wasn't any other word for it.
His nerve endings exploded under her tongue, his breath quickened. She took him entirely in her mouth, she sucked hard, and he was likewise in an instant, he couldn't have controlled it if he wanted to. It seemed as though she sucked all the blood from the rest of his body into his shaft. He was caressing her face but soon he couldn't move. Had she done this before? She was so intense, aggressive even, almost rough, moving with a desire the likes of which he might never have seen before. Virgins didn't...do this...like this... He was coming. He didn't want it to stop. His back arched and he didn't just moan, he cried out, he yelled.
He came in the back of her mouth and she turned and spat...and kept going. Unbelievable. Oh my god, if I was going to fall in love...
When he was spent she came back up and lay across his chest, sighing. This confused him. Wasn't she still unsatisfied? Or had she climaxed somehow? Had she been touching herself as she did that to him? No—there was still hunger in her eyes. But that must have been intense for her too.
Yes, so intense, she had managed to make him lose control. He didn't like being out of control in an encounter. And of course, it rarely happened. Only—he'd wanted that to happen, he had certainly let it happen. Why? There must be more to this one than she let on. What secrets could she harbor? Well, he'd punish her soon—for punishment and reward were exactly the same thing here.
He smiled chivalrously. "Wouldn't you like some more wine?" He had plenty of drinks in here, as people got thirsty for things other than cum. He got up and found some sherry.
"Oh... thank you."
He looked at her lasciviously as they drank, and she blushed hotly over the lingering pink cheeks of arousal. She was embarrassed at her own intensity. Now she was back to virgin again? How cute. Strange, but cute.
As he looked at her he noticed suddenly that her ears were oddly pointed. So that was what gave her a bit of an unearthly appearance. Did it mean anything? Probably not.
She saw amusement in his eyes. "What's so funny?"
"Why, just the fact that you gave me head and now you're blushing about it."
At that she turned deep scarlet.
He laughed. "You really are charming."
"Don't be fooled." She deliberately gulped the sherry.
"And hypocritical," he chuckled.
She held out her glass, and he refilled it obligingly. She mellowed as she sipped it, gazing at him wistfully, intensely. I love you was written all over her face. He wondered if she would be dumb enough to say it.
She knew that he knew it, and she knew he didn't care, yet she wanted to say it so badly. He would care if he knew how much she knew. But how could she ever tell him that? What if he hated her for knowing? The secret ached in her chest. She nestled into him sadly, and her body still craved him, her skin blaring signals at the contact. She couldn't stay sad for very long when she was with him.
In a way he admired her. She was smart. Well, she was very stupid to fall madly in love with him, but she wouldn't admit it out loud because she knew that it was very stupid, and in seeing that she was smart. But she was definitely hiding something else. If he didn't find out what that was, he wouldn't be able to break her, and then he'd be stuck with her. Actually, considering the last ten minutes, that might not be so bad... Of course, if he gave any appearance of making a commitment, whether he wanted to or not, some other hothead would push her out a window or something. Had she any idea what dangerous ground she tread? Yes—and he was the one who hadn't known what he was getting into. He'd only seen a few really intense ones, all of whom had arranged their own destructions, sometimes before he even got involved with them. Love that deep was poison; it killed just like an overdose of any drug. Even dead white guys like Shakespeare knew that.
Maybe even Yumi herself knew that.
In any case, he had probably underestimated her, but that just meant he didn't have to do a thing to break her. She would take care of herself.
Poor idiot girl. No, she's not that stupid; the wise man knows himself a fool. Well, I try to avoid the Ophelias, but if they come looking for me, what can I do?
He stroked her bare skin, slowly, almost idly, until she invited him on top, and they put down the wine glasses and made out deeply, tasting the sherry on each other's lips. She twined around him, one leg curled way up across his back. She was impressively agile as well as intense. But after that...it would be a little time before he was hard again. He'd have to play with her for a while.
"How about a game?" His voice was heavy and sultry. It made the space between her legs throb.
"Game?"
"Yes, a game. Are you ready to play?" He gave her a smolderingly erotic gaze.
Melting, she drew out the consonant of her reply, making it a breathy pornographic word: "Hhhai..."
"It's called 'Heat Lightning,' for the storms on hot, hot summer nights that are so far up in the heavens, they make no sound at all. This is how you play," he said in her ear. He would punish and reward her intensity with the most intense game he knew. It also put him in control the whole time, but that was beside the point. "You're not allowed to make a sound. No matter what I do, no matter what you feel, you must be absolutely silent, or I'll stop. Got it?"
She gave an affirmative sound.
"Hush now." He kissed her again, this time taking her tongue and sucking on it, something he'd always found incredibly stimulating. His fingers played below, but he didn't let her come. She squirmed but was quiet.
From a box under the bed he took a bottle of strawberry scented—and flavored—massage goo. He slowly applied it to her and slowly licked it off in sections, neck and shoulders, breasts, abdomen, and finally thighs. Still she was quiet, but her nails dug into his neck, as his kisses moved toward her moist center, and then he parted her legs to almost 180û and returned her favor.
She inhaled sharply at the touch of his mouth to her most sensitive place, but he let that go, and she tensed with the effort of holding in her voice. He teased her, and she was impressively stubborn, until his tongue entered her and she let a single cry escape her.
He pulled away immediately. "Sssshh," he chided, hovering over her. He put a finger over her lips and she caught his hand, licking the strawberry stuff off. But he took his hand away and left her staring guiltily at him, with no contact.
When he said he'd stop if I made a sound, did he mean permanently? she wondered in agony. Touga-sama, you're mean! But she kept silent for fear of ruining any chance of his continuing.
He left her wondering for over a minute, during which she had almost resolved to beat him up. Then, confident that she was humbled enough, he parted her thighs again and resumed. She was quiet, so this time he let her come. Would she beat the game?
She bit down on her cries, controlling her breath without knowing it, and pleasure swelled until she was sure she would explode, she was nothing but this sensation, unfolding, crashing, taking over and filling every last part of her being. It didn't end. It waned like the tide going out but it remained, pulsing, aching sweetness. Spinning in hot darkness, she squeezed tears from her eyes.
He was hard again now. If he moved quickly, and correctly, she would have a second, even deeper climax. He could make her wait some more, but after all, he had a reputation to keep. A guy couldn't be a player without being good in bed. Besides, she was winning the game.
Testing her agility this time, he was sure they had invented a new page for the Kama Sutra. A good page. And she was still silent: she'd won.
Few ever won Heat Lightning. Had he failed to give her ample satisfaction? It was when he looked in her eyes to congratulate her that he saw the trickle of blood from her lip. She'd been satisfied, alright—so much that she had no idea she'd bitten herself.
"Oh, you're a brave one," he said softly, taking a tissue and wiping the blood away gently.
Still she said nothing. She felt dizzy and sleepy, gazing at him with tears on her lashes.
Her breathing was labored. She was clearly exhausted; she looked like she'd been through a war. She probably had done some AEA on herself too. Shit, I could have killed her, he thought. She takes this too seriously. Her feelings will kill her somehow. It isn't my fault. She wants to be a romantic tragedy.
He thought of getting her a hard drink, but that would be too dehydrating. He gave her a glass of water instead, treating her delicately, cradling her and tilting the glass to her lips for her. "You mustn't be so serious," he said sweetly when he put the glass down. "It's a game, not a war. It's dangerous to take things so seriously."
"I know you think all love is a game." Her voice was neutral from weakness, her amber eyes serenely adoring, so he wasn't sure if she meant it matter-of-factly or disparagingly.
Ah. Here's my way out. "See, Yumi, that's why I'm so terribly wrong for you," he told her smoothly. "You want a man who will move worlds for the sake of love. I only move bedsheets."
She should have yelled but she hadn't the energy. "I really wish people would stop telling me what I want."
He was caught. She had a point. Who was this girl, really? So full of contradictions, virgin and whore, charming and vulgar, modest and candid, stupid and knowing it. And she didn't take any crap.
"I'll move worlds on my own terms," she went on. "What I want is that person not to deny it." Then her expression softened again, as if she remembered that she couldn't stay mad at him for he could do no wrong.
He could find nothing to say. Apparently he was stuck with her until she destroyed herself. He knew how the story went. She would pretend that she didn't care, but eventually the agony of not possessing him completely and utterly for herself would drive her over the edge. It was just a matter of time. Did he have time? Well, no one knew what happened when you revolutionized the world, but it was supposed to give you eternity, and eternity was a lot of time. For the time being, she was a fairly interesting lover...if she didn't kill herself at that first.
She murmured his name, touching his face reverently. He was afraid again that she would say it, but again she held it in.
If this wasn't a game, what was it?
Maybe, if the girl survived, she would be cured of her dangerous ideals. Maybe she'd grow up a bitter, lesbian cynic like Juri... he had to keep from laughing at this thought.
Because she had exerted herself so, he let her fall asleep in his arms, something he rarely allowed. As she drifted off, caressing him, he heard her singing softly:
"Ah, that far off dream we talked of through the night, I don't want to make it come true by myself. I can't tell anyone, I want to tell someone, that person is more important to me than anyone else. La la la la...la la la la... In a nonexistent place I stand as I am. Please be yourself, that's how I want you to be. La la la la...la la la la... In a nonexistent place I stand as I am. Please be yourself, I want you to be that way forever."
When she next awoke he was with someone else. She sighed and turned over, pulled a pink sheet over her head, and went back to sleep.
And when she woke after that it was broad daylight and she was very hungry. Everyone else was gone. She'd been hidden under the sheets; he probably thought she had already left. She lay there awhile, breathing deeply of the scent of his bed. But she was too famished to sleep any more, so finally she dressed and went back to her own room to find food.
The clock on the microwave said it was almost noon. Good, she could say that she'd been "ill" again and go in for lunch. She showered, put on her uniform and headed out.
She didn't try to put together last night. Thinking about stuff was for math class, the most boring thing in the world.
In the dining hall, she was too hungry to look around for her friends, so she ate by herself. Then she found Kozue hovering at another table occupied by one person.
"Hi Kozue-chan, I'm here," Yumi announced cheerfully.
But it was clear she had walked in on something unpleasant. Kozue ignored her, as she was busy bitching out the seated girl, who concentrated on her lap with a sad, faraway face shrouded by long blue-black hair.
"You think you can make him yours, huh? You think you're good enough for him? Look at you, all gloomy and pathetic. Are you one of those loser 'goth' chicks? What would he do with such a loser?"
A tear spilled down the girl's cheek, and she said nothing.
"Stop it, Kozue-chan, you're making her upset," said Yumi. Kozue continued her invective.
Yumi saw that the girl's cheek was red. Kozue must have bitch-slapped her. Come to think of it, she did hear that sound a minute or two ago...
"Cut it out, Kozue-chan. Come on, quit it." Yumi tugged at Kozue's arm. Kozue shoved her violently without looking at her. Maybe it was wrong to butt in, but the sad girl wasn't fighting back.
"You miserable wench," Kozue hissed at the girl. "I won't let you seduce my brother!"
Yumi gasped. Kozue's voice echoed and mingled with Nanami's in her head.
"I won't let you seduce my brother!"
"I won't let someone like you have my brother!"
"What do you think you're doing, trying to ruin my Big Brother's reputation!"
"KOZUE, STOP IT!" Yumi shouted in her face.
Kozue turned to her as if she had interrupted something very important. "What?"
The girl with blue-black hair wiped away her tears and looked up in astonishment. Was someone standing up on her behalf?
"What, she says!" Yumi was pointing a finger and backing away with huge eyes like Kozue was something hideous and deadly poisonous. "You, I can't believe you, you're just like Nanami! Vicious, conniving, egocentric, overpossessive—shit, why don't you two whores start a club already!"
Oh no. This was terribly wrong. If people realized what she really felt—if oniichan realized... People were interested now. She had to smooth over the scene. "It's nothing like that, Yumi-chan," she said placatingly. "Please calm down. I'm just trying to—"
But Yumi was not to be placated. "What, just trying to 'protect' him? Yeah we know! Bullshit! You're just trying to keep him in a cage all for yourself—whether he wants to be there or not! How could you be so damn selfish!?"
"Yumi-chan, please don't say things like that," said Kozue nervously. "You're my friend."
"Friend? Am I your friend? People like you don't have friends! Why is someone so vicious as you so nice to me? You have no kindness in you, you can only pretend to be nice!"
Good, maybe now the argument would turn away from oniichan. "That's not true. I like you," Kozue replied weakly. That was sort of true, Yumi was kind of a fun person. And because she was so weird being around her made one feel normal.
"Or you like using me! You people don't have friends, you have lackeys, you use people! Well, what is it you're using me for, Kozue, huh? What is it?!"
"I'm not using you for anything."
"LIAR!" screamed Yumi. "Why are you using me!?"
An especially barbed remark came to her tongue. "I'm not using you, Yumi-chan. Touga is the one who's using you."
That was a bad move. It didn't mellow her like Kozue had hoped. Yumi's face twisted in anger like the mask of a Noh villain and she launched herself at Kozue.
The cry of "FIGHT!" rang out again through the dining hall. All Miki's fans cheered for Yumi, so she had substantial support. Yet Kozue was only unpopular among the fans of her brother, and perhaps among a few boys she'd cheated on.
Kozue got a bad start; the wind was knocked out of her, and she was smaller besides. She lost quickly.
"So fuck you," Yumi concluded, heedless of the cheers and threats, and left her humiliated on the floor.
Miki showed up too late. "What—what happened?!"
"Your sister's a bitch whore," Yumi replied easily, dusting herself off. Kozue left to look for her dignity, and to plot revenge.
Miki stared. Miteki hid a giggle.
"I had no idea she was so mean and vicious. But you're too nice to beat the crap out of her, so I did it."
"Yumi-san...?" He couldn't understand it; she had never spoken like that before. Was she alternating personalities? Had she imagined it in her madness? Or was Kozue really being mean?
He really would rather not be involved...
"Yes, she really was being mean," said Yumi, answering his unvoiced questions. "Here I am just coming up to say hi and she's picking on this girl like wah wah wah wah..." She imitated the tone of Kozue's invective and hovered threateningly in Miki's face for effect. "Then she was mean to me, so I beat her up."
"Um..." Miki tried to make sense of it. Kozue did bully people sometimes. But they'd seemed to be such good friends... Then he saw the dark-haired girl hiding her face and the red mark on her cheek. This must be the victim of Kozue's attack. "Oh, I'm so sorry!" he exclaimed to her. "I'm sorry—are you okay? Is there anything I can do?"
"Huh? Oh—no—I'm fine." The girl's voice was very soft, and she blushed. She was astounded that he was talking to her.
Neither could think of words for a moment and they looked at each other, and then Miki blushed too.
Yumi held in her laughter. The irony was beautiful. Kozue had beat up on the girl to keep her away from oniichan, but her attack had precipitated their meeting! What a stupid idiot Kozue was.
...And if not for that stupid idiot, Yumi probably would never have met Touga, at least not for quite a while; she would have stood there drooling forever on the periphery of his vision, or eventually joined the giggling groupies. She would not have been in a rose garden dream, nor welcomed to that tantric pink world... Kozue was the one who had shoved her into Touga's path. Kozue had helped her buy clothes and music and simple novels, and furnish her room and write that love letter, stupid as it was... She owed a debt to another Nanami. Why? Why had Kozue been so nice? Did friends really not exist in this beautiful world of roses and swordfights?
She had seen the malice in Kozue's eyes. That was her true nature. So why? What could she have been using me for? I was not a convenience; she went out of the way for me; she must have been using me to get to Kaoru-sempai somehow. She wouldn't use anyone for anything else. Well, that's over now. Your plan backfired, bitch. I've just figured out what you are, and I don't need you any more either.
The red mark was fading on the girl's face, leaving a bruise. Miki's breath caught in consternation. Why would she be so cruel? "How awful! I can't believe she did that! Let me get you some ice..." Miki hurried off.
Yumi collapsed in a chair across from the girl, propping her head up in her hands. Regret stung her keenly, though she knew it must have been inevitable. And Rini and Motoko and Chiharu, they would go on being duped, they wouldn't want to be around her now either. "Well, that's it," she said to the table. "Now I have no friends."
"I'm sorry," said the other girl. "It's my fault."
Yumi looked up. "What? No, I should thank you. Now I know Kozue's true nature. No friends must be better than false friends." Both knew that she didn't really believe that.
"I have no friends either," said the girl. Her eyes were grey webbed with paler grey, like crumbling stone castles of forgotten fairy tales shrouded in mists of memory. She smoothed her long midnight blue hair. She was a creature of poetry, and thus evoked poetic descriptions.
Yumi saw the bruise rising on her cheek. Nothing poetic about that. "Damn, does that bitch ever bitch-slap!" she blurted. Kozue was even worse than Nanami! How was it possible?
Miki returned then with ice wrapped in a handkerchief. He seemed to avoid looking at Yumi. Maybe he's scared of me now, she thought.
Instead of giving it to her, without thinking Miki put the ice to the girl's cheek. She reached up at the same time to take it and their hands touched. Characteristically, Miki turned red.
Yumi discreetly spun around in her chair to let them have a moment, hiding mischievous laughter. Oh, if Kozue knew what she'd started!
"Thank you, Kaoru-san," she heard the other girl say shyly.
"I—I hope you feel better," said Miki. He was too embarrassed to linger.
When she was sure Miki had left, Yumi turned back. The girl was holding the ice, wrapped in a handkerchief of Miki's own, to her face as she would a lover's hand, with a dreamy introspective look.
Yumi identified. She leaned back and let the other girl have a few more moments daydreaming. She went into her own dreamworld. It was a place of pink satin and strawberry fragrance...
"Thank you," the girl said suddenly.
Yumi blinked as if not remembering.
"Um...thanks...for kicking Kozue's ass."
They both smiled a little. "Oh, she had that coming," Yumi shrugged.
The dining hall was mostly empty now. The dark-haired girl looked at her watch and stood up. "Class is starting soon."
"Well." Yumi got her bag from the table where she had eaten. "What grade are you in?" she asked as they walked back to the main building.
"Ninth. Are we in the same class? I think you sit near me."
"Class C?"
"Yes, we are! Oh, now I remember the homeroom teacher introducing you... Your name's Maigo, right?"
"It's Yumi. The papers say Maigo Yumi but I'm really just Yumi."
"I'm Kodama Miteki."
"What a pretty name!"
"Oh...thanks." Suddenly Miteki had a sense of something very strange from the skinny aqua-haired girl. Occasionally her powers picked up things other than future misfortunes, if there was something very strong to be picked up. The thing she sensed wasn't bad or good, just very unusual, something beyond comprehension.
"Huh?" Yumi saw Miteki staring at her, or through her. Her grey eyes were unfocused.
Miteki shook her head. Blue-black hair gleamed. "Sorry. I just got this feeling—has, um, has anything weird happened to you lately?"
Yumi gave up on trying to make sense. "Well... I wasn't human before a few days ago."
"Not human?" Being familiar with the supernatural, Miteki was not as put off by this as most would be.
"I was a being with no soul, invisible to humans. Then I fell in love and became human. I must have a soul now, because everything feels so much deeper. Kozue said I look elfin."
Yumi said all of this so matter-of-factly that Miteki didn't know what to think. She'd expected the inexplicable. But Yumi seemed to know exactly what it was.
Then Yumi looked straight at her. "Do you believe me? I don't think anyone would."
"Either it's true or it isn't," said Miteki. "It doesn't matter whether people believe it."
"Well you asked if anything weird happened to me. So don't you have anything to say on the answer you got?"
"If it happened, then it happened. I got these strange vibes from you and if that's what you say happened, I'm sure it's true."
"Strange vibes?"
"They make sense now. Because you remember being something else."
"That's the first time somebody's told me I make sense. You don't doubt that I wasn't human?"
"I guess it's easier for me to accept unusual things. I have clairvoyant powers. They've ruined my life."
"How is that?"
"I don't see people's fortunes—only their misfortunes." Miteki spoke quietly as though it was a shameful secret. "So don't ask me to read your future, it wouldn't be pretty."
"And no one believes you either, do they?"
"I don't talk about it any more. It only hurts people."
They were at their class now. "Truth hurts," Yumi remarked reflectively. They sat down; Miteki was behind her and to the right. She'd never noticed; Miteki was a girl who made an effort not to be noticed. And it worked, even with an ice pack on her face.
Yumi, on the other hand, was always noticeable. Chiharu gave Yumi a little sneer, then turned to Motoko and whispered something. They both giggled. They had not seen the fight, but they had seen Kozue afterward. They had been watching the almost-fight between Tenjou Utena and Shinohara Wakaba. Kozue, however, had not come to class at all. Or else she was late.
So news had spread already. Not surprising. It was no worse than she could have expected, perhaps not even as bad, but still it smarted in Yumi. They'd all been laughing around the table, sharing pilfered wine...and now sneers and derision. How quickly they turned their backs on her!
But if they were so quick to turn, if they took Kozue's word as final judgement, then they couldn't be worth even saying hi to...right? Well, she had an invitation to the bed of the Student Council President. They would never see it. It was her classified document. And the stupid people at the party had probably been bad-mouthing her all morning. The entire campus must be jealous of her now!
Yumi sat back in her chair and sighed.
The teacher saw her, wondering what was the real reason for her absence. "Maigo. Feeling better?"
"Yes, thank you." She smiled politely.
"And where's Kaoru?" Yamaguchi-sensei looked at the empty seat in front of Yumi.
"Oh, no—I bet she caught what I had. I'll have to send her a card." She said that in a thinly apologetic way, which let Yamaguchi-sensei know that Kaoru was now skipping for some reason. Why? Who cared anyway? Never ask what's going on—that was the first rule of teaching at Ohtori Academy.
Miteki stifled a snicker. Yumi had given it to her, alright.
"Well, make sure you catch up on your work," said Yamaguchi-sensei.
"Yes, sir."
Yumi sighed again and retreated back into her thoughts as class began. She knew she should pay attention, but that was difficult...
"Okay. Now let's review... Who can tell me when the French Revolution began?"
Revolution. What did that word really mean, anyway? Why was it so important here?
That beautiful night. The beautiful night before. Everything was so insane and beautiful. The things he did to her... He was impossible. It was so easy to give your heart to him, and so hard to keep it in one piece once you did. Touga. What new adventures would she find if she met him again tonight?
He saw her feelings and he would try to use them against her, to push her away. But it wouldn't happen. He was too chivalrous to turn her down bluntly, and she too stubborn for him to do so otherwise. Until he found a suitable way out, he was hers. Sort of.
And what then?
What was it that she expected to happen anyway? Well, someday, she hoped to reveal his true self and bring him to happiness... That sounded impossible. Best to take one day at a time, or one night as it were, these nights of moonlit roses and pink satin. The beautiful soul-filling sound of his passion, his voice crying out in the throes of his body... If someone asked her now what was the meaning of life, she would say it was that sound.
Miteki was mentally reviewing a far more innocent encounter. However, being conscientious, she had more success than Yumi at taking notes. The aqua-haired girl had been gone yesterday and this morning, she realized; Yamaguchi-sensei had told Yumi to catch up. And, having only entered the class a few days ago, she must already have a lot to catch up with. So perhaps Yumi would appreciate a look at Miteki's notes. It was the least she should do.
Walking along the atrium, she caught a glimpse of him in the rose garden. He was there making out with one of Nanami's minions or some other girl. She sighed heavily with a sad smile. Enjoy it while you can. Soon you'll have to pick up the pieces of your heart. She continued walking.
Was the bliss of ignorance better? What would it be like not to know anything?...
Then came the evil-eyed groupies.
CRACK!
And Yumi was on the ground. There were four of them standing over her with crossed arms, looking down their noses.
"So, you think you can have Touga-sama all to yourself?" "You sure are a weird-looking slut. Do you ever comb your hair?" "Where are you even from, huh?" "Who do you think you are?"
"What?" Knowing what they were jealous of, she smiled. "I'm sorry, one question at a time, please."
"Would you look at that! She's smiling." "She must like being slapped around." The girl who said that went to hit her again, but Yumi caught her wrist and shoved it away.
"I have somewhere to go," she said. "Please don't detain me." Yumi picked up her school bag and stood.
"Yeah? Where you going? To buy some more opium?" They cornered her.
"Hey look! It's Prince Utena!" one of them squealed derogatively. Utena was coming up the walk with a stoic expression.
The groupies lost interest in Yumi and giggled. Apparently their greatest joy in life was to harass anyone to whom Touga paid attention. "Tenjou Utena, the prince of the junior high." "But she's in the proper uniform! What the hell is that!" "What's the matter? Shorts kept giving you a wedgy?" They snickered.
Utena was going to pass them without noticing, but then she saw the nervous, resentful look and the red mark on Yumi's face. She never suspected that the look was for her and not for the groupies. "What's going on? Are you okay?" she asked the aqua-haired girl.
The girl's eyes met hers, and the bright amber color was startling. No—it was the ferocity in them that startled her.
Whispering and giggling, the four groupies left Yumi and Utena to stare at one another.
"What is it?" said Utena.
The girl glowered, like a dog smelling something it doesn't trust. Then suddenly she gave a cheerful smile. "Nothing. I'm fine, thank you." She bowed politely and walked away.
What was that about? Utena wondered, then shrugged and continued toward the rose garden.
"Excuse me, Yumi- san," said Miki.
"Hm?" Yumi looked unusually grim.
"Um—that girl, from lunch today—is she okay? Have you seen her?"
Yumi grinned then. Kozue's attack had backfired so completely. "Well, in fact, I'm going to see her right now. Would you like to come?"
"Umm..." Miki blushed a little.
"I know! Why don't you bring her a flower?" Yumi looked back in the direction of the rose garden.
Miki blushed a lot. "Oh—well—I can't, really—there's some Student Council business and—um, sorry, I have to go," he stammered and rushed away. That sounded really lame, he chided himself. Student Council business? Isn't that the excuse Kiryuu always uses? When he has been with a girl, not to avoid one... I shouldn't think like that! It really is a busy day.
Yumi raised her eyebrows. Well, that made for interesting news. Although she had kind of been hoping he'd go back to the garden and interrupt what was going on there... No! That was ugly thinking. There was no indication that anything of consequence to her was happening there...right? Of course not.
It was time to study, or else she might one day find herself at a particular disadvantage: being kicked out of the school. Weren't midterms in a couple of weeks? Had she ever been officially enrolled at all? Miki had probably done that. Not that it meant much, except that Miki had taken care of it—everyone knew the Student Council ran the show. She should try not to miss classes again. It had been embarrassing getting the work from various teachers, some of whom she could tell knew that she hadn't really been "sick," but didn't say anything. Besides, if she didn't let herself be distracted so, it was fun learning about all the different human things. Except math, that was incomprehensibly tedious.
She would much rather fall asleep listening to Hamasaki Ayumi. But she had work. That was part of the deal—humans had to work a lot, or at least pretend to.
Yumi went into two wrong buildings before she found the right one. The dorms were duplicates of each other in this part of the campus. Finally in front of the door with her classmate's name on it, she rapped politely.
Miteki appeared in a moment. "Hi, come in."
Making quite a discourteous entrance, Yumi threw down her book bag. "Never walk through the atrium after school! It's just waylay after waylay."
"Oh. Sorry."
"Well, I do have news. Kaoru- sempai inquired after you."
"Really?" Miteki blinked and then blushed.
"Yes. I invited him to come with me but he turned red and made a lame excuse."
Miteki giggled. It was an unexpected sound.
Yumi looked at her and began to snicker.
"What?" said Miteki, a bit hurt.
"Oh, it isn't you! It's just that it's so funny how Kozue wanted to keep you away from her brother, but he wouldn't have met you if she hadn't attacked you in the first place. Kozue's really stupid, huh."
Miteki saw her point then and laughed also. "Stupid bitch whore."
Yumi's laughter died off. "But she made me meet the person I like too. —Oh well! That's karma," she dismissed brightly, throwing out a word that had been discussed in literature class that afternoon.
The dark-haired girl stood. "Let me make some tea."
"No, you don't have to." But of course the hostess made it anyway. Yumi looked over her assignments. "Actually, you could make dinner too. I'll be studying all night." Maybe I shouldn't go after him tonight, she thought. Or someone might actually try to kill me. People get fanatical about him. I should know.
"Um, I can make miso soup," said Miteki as she brought in the tea.
Yumi clapped childishly. "Oh! Miso soup! If you make good miso soup I want to live here."
Miteki smiled. Then her eyes unfocused and she went slack. The teapot fell from her hand, but Yumi nimbly reached over and caught it.
It was hot, and the tea was even hotter as it splashed her. "Ow ow!" Yumi cried, putting it down and rubbing her hands. "Hey, what's with you? Hello?"
Of course Miteki did not hear. She was far off... ...On a platform in the sky, with an inverted castle floating above and strange music wafting in and out of hearing.
Yumi stood holding high a shining sword, dressed in a uniform like those of the Student Council, eyes flashing gold fire. "By my sword, you will die!"
"Don't let him do this to you!" cried Tenjou Utena.
Blinding light gathered and faded; vivid aqua rose petals scattered. Yumi fell to her knees. "Touga. I'm sorry—I failed you."
The Student Council President was beside her. "You disappoint me. But I was fairly certain you would. Because you see..." He whispered something to her.
Yumi's eyes widened in utter dismay. "No. NO! You—you can't—"
"Don't you get it? She was right, I have been using you. I just wanted to see if you could beat her. But it appears even your so-called love isn't strong enough."
The aqua-haired girl was in shock. "Then I...I will...revolutionize the world."
He laughed at her.
The cruel sound echoed in Miteki's head as she returned to the present. Her legs were tired. Yumi was sipping a cup of tea and watching her.
"You awake yet?" said Yumi, seeing Miteki's eyes come back into focus.
"Yeah," Miteki replied. "How long was I out?"
"I don't know. I have no sense of time. One and a half cups of tea, if that helps."
Miteki's heart panged as she realized that, unless someone moved to prevent it, what she'd just seen would happen to Yumi.
Yumi loved the Student Council President? But she'd seemed so different. Everyone admired him.
Yumi was going to let herself be used by him. For what? Something involving that popular pink-haired girl...it hadn't made any sense...but whatever it was, it would hurt. For the first time in many years Miteki considered telling of her vision. But how could she do that? Yumi hadn't even mentioned Kiryuu-sempai. What if she didn't want anyone to know? She should let Yumi bring it up first. But if she didn't, would it be the first betrayal not to say anything?
"You saw something sad?" Yumi guessed from the expression on the other girl's face.
"Yeah." She hoped Yumi wouldn't ask further.
"Well, you can tell me later if it's important, but right now I'd rather look at your history notes..."
Miteki smiled, a bit regretfully, and poured herself some tea. Then they attacked the schoolbooks.
Later, as the hostess was making dinner, Yumi felt a blip, as of an unidentified object on an internal radar. She looked up, but nothing further manifested; she returned to the study of literary terms.
The numbers went by on Miki's stopwatch. It was up to almost twenty minutes.
"I don't think he's showing," said Juri.
"Why?"
"Just a feeling. Utena won the duel last night."
"What? How do you know?"
"I saw her with Anthy this morning. She was in her 'normal' uniform again. I'm not one to jump to conclusions, but I think it's a fair estimate to say that she's reclaimed the Rose Bride."
"Oh. Well, Himemiya-san seemed happier with her, at least."
Juri smiled at the young boy's naiveté. He blushed a little, then sighed.
"What's the matter, Miki?" The poor boy was never good at hiding his feelings. Juri didn't like to see him burdened with things. He had innocence that was worth protecting.
He looked up distractedly and clicked the stopwatch. "I just—Kozue-chan is so mean to people sometimes. I don't understand it."
Although Juri had no particular fondness for that girl, she agreed on one issue. It would be disastrous if Miki knew his sister's true nature—but only for Miki. "She's just insecure," Juri explained. "People who feel inadequate lash out at others for no particular reason."
"Why would she feel like that?"
"Who knows? Who knows why people get the feelings they do? It's not for us to ask. In time she'll work things out herself."
Miki's depressed expression didn't change.
"But that's nothing unusual," said Juri with atypical compassion. "Something else is wrong, isn't it?"
"Well...that girl Yumi...my sister said that she's in love with Kiryuu-sempai... I had the story all wrong! And Yumi-san is upset that I thought—what I did. I have to apologize to Kiryuu-sempai, but he isn't here..." He blushed, embarrassed at the rush of thoughts that had come pouring out. "It's not even any of my business."
Juri took it in and thought. Of course it wasn't any of their business, but everything was the Student Council's business. "If she's upset, why not apologize to her?"
"I don't think she'd want me to bring it up again. Poor Yumi-san! She's so in love she's gone mad. That's why she was in the music room like that."
Juri had already heard the real story, though she too found this version much more believable. "Is that why you're worried about her?"
"Yes. And I thought my sister was her friend, but they got in a fight today."
That news had also reached Juri previously. "Well, it's not unusual for friends to fight sometimes. Or maybe their personalities don't really get along and she'll find other friends."
Miki idly clicked the stopwatch again. "But... Kiryuu-sempai has all these people madly in love with him and he doesn't even care. He'll break her heart."
The boy was so innocent and kindhearted, he couldn't stand the thought of anyone in pain. Juri sat up. "Oh, Miki-chan. It won't be the world's first broken heart. No one can stop hearts from getting broken."
"That isn't it." Miki shook his head. "If she loves someone that much... I mean...it's so sad, it isn't fair... I just don't want her to end up like Ophelia."
"When one feels deeply about something, it's only a matter of time before those feelings betray them," Kiryuu had said once on this terrace. "Betray them as deeply as those feelings are deep." Juri saw Miki's point clearly. If some girl had the misfortune to truly love Kiryuu Touga, it would tear her apart, and the playboy himself would help. "Do you want me to talk to her?"
"Oh—that would be great, Juri-sempai, but she probably wouldn't listen."
"Words will stay with a person even when one refuses to listen. I'll see what I can do, Miki-chan, but please don't worry."
Miki tried to smile.
Two friendless girls who became friends, the classmates by now were calling one another Teki-chan and Yumi-chan. But the vision she'd seen yesterday nagged at Miteki. On the way out after school, as she was debating how and if she should bring it up, an older girl approached Yumi. It was Arisugawa Juri, the indomitable lady of the Student Council.
"Maigo."
It took Yumi a moment to realize she was being addressed. "Yes?" She bowed when she saw who it was. She wasn't intimidated as most were, but knew that Juri merited a decent amount of respect. "Good afternoon, Arisugawa-sempai. Is there something I can do for you?"
"I'd like to talk to you for a minute."
Miteki, and anyone else within earshot, discreetly bowed and moved away.
Yumi really could not imagine why Arisugawa would want to talk to her. She looked at the mature girl with big, innocent golden eyes. This and her lanky frame gave her the momentary appearance of an aqua-haired fawn.
Not being one to dance around issues, Juri told her, "I wouldn't normally butt in on things, but Kaoru-san is seriously worried about you. Kiryuu Touga is a dangerous person to love. Don't make a tragedy of yourself."
So that was it. People come to give her "advice" and tell her how to live. It took all of Yumi's restraint not to snap. "Thank you, I know."
"I don't think you do. I've seen people throw themselves off roofs to try and get his attention. Friendships end, enemies go at each other's throats, girls lock their rooms and cry for days and he thrives on their tears. Loving that boy is an apple of discord. No good will come of it. If you have any respect for yourself, don't fall too deeply, and don't let him use you."
"I think that you don't know what you're talking about," Yumi blurted rudely before she could stop herself. She waited for the bitch-slap, but it didn't come. Scornful Juri wanted to see if she would explain herself. "I'm sorry, but I couldn't stop my feelings if I wanted to. I'm already in too deep. What does it matter if I get hurt?"
Juri didn't want to bitch-slap the girl, because that would just incite defiance, but she certainly invited it. Instead Juri let out a sigh of disgust. "Listen. If you let yourself be hurt, you will hurt others. Kaoru seems to feel protective of you and does not want to see you hurt. Nor, I am sure, does your friend over there. Your feelings are no more important than theirs."
Oh, SHUT UP! thought Yumi. "Do I look self-pitying enough to throw myself off a roof? Gimme a break already! 'Oh, Touga-sama has left me, I cannot live with the shame! Bleh!'" She effected melodrama and mimed impaling herself with a sword. "Thank you very much, Arisugawa-sempai, I appreciate your underestimation of my intelligence, but I'm really not that stupid."
Juri was laughing, not loudly, but just enough to be noticeable. Such a girl was obviously not from Japan. "Where on earth are you from?"
"I'm not."
"What?"
"I'm not from this earth."
So this Yumi girl believed the story she'd told. Or else she was holding to it. That didn't really matter. "Well, promise you'll take care of yourself, Maigo."
They were both serious now. "Thank you, Arisugawa-sempai, I intend to. But please call me Yumi." She bowed again.
"Alright, Yumi. Be careful." Juri nodded and left.
She was surprised, but not shocked. Shocked was when Tenjou had defied her and Tenjou had beaten her. No, she was merely surprised that Maigo Yumi had told her exactly what she thought. Did that mean she had guts or just that she was impetuous to a fault? Probably a bit of both. She had laughed not just at Yumi's display, but mostly because she completely turned upsidedown the idea of the delicate tragic heroine that Miki had described. It likely would take more than Kiryuu's classic betrayal to ruin her.
Because Juri had sensed something else. The girl knew what she was getting into and she really meant to defy him. It was almost as if she intended to say to the player, Here is my heart. Try and break it if you can.
Good, it was about time Kiryuu started getting what he deserved. A girl whose heart he couldn't have and another whose heart he couldn't break.
"What was that about?" said Miteki.
"Oh, she just wanted to say I'll get my heart broken—everyone's telling me that."
Miteki looked down. She should say something too...
It occurred to Yumi that she had never mentioned her love for Touga. Well, if it needed to come up, it would.
But as they walked at a leisurely pace across the lobby, Yumi's countenance became a little distressed. "Where..."
"Where's what?" Miteki got a quick image of a dark room with weird music playing, but it seemed unrelated.
"He's not here..." Her voice was unusually quiet and plaintive. "He always walks this way with all the giggly people around him. He wasn't there this morning either. What's going on..."
"Who? The Student Council President?"
"Yes." Yumi had a vague sense of something not right. She'd had it all day. "I suppose he could be with someone else...that must be it. Well, no helping that!" She shrugged and tried to ignore her misgivings. "Didn't you say you knew a good coffee shop close by?"
"Yeah, should we go?"
"Sure. I've never had coffee, I don't think."
"Okay." Both were beset with their own worries. Miteki had to say something. It just wouldn't be fair not to. As they left the campus, she began, "Um, Yumi-chan..."
"Hm?"
"You know when I had a vision yesterday?"
"Yeah, did you want to tell me about it?"
"Well...it was about you. I'll have to say the same thing. I think...he might try to hurt you."
"I know that," said Yumi as though it were blatantly obvious. "He will try. Everybody thinks it's stupid to love him and I'll just get hurt. But I became human to love him. I won't be broken that easily."
"Oh." That didn't really make her doubt the vision, but Miteki wouldn't insist. She didn't want to make Yumi mad. Wasn't that really why she beat up Kozue, because Kozue-whore had said something about Touga? Miteki certainly did not want to risk inciting her new friend's anger.
So she changed the subject. "Yumi-chan, I was wondering—how do you know Kaoru-sempai?"
"Well, when I became human, I fell asleep in the music room. He found me there and he thought that—something terrible had happened to me. Now that he hears of my real purpose, he's afraid I'll 'make a tragedy of myself.' He wants all girls to be sweet and delicate like you..."
Miteki blushed.
Yumi adjusted her bag over her shoulder. "I, however, am..."
"A wild rampaging sex addict?"
"Eeehh, how do you know that?!"
"Well anyone who likes the Student Council President must be."
Yumi smiled slowly.
"Ohmigosh!" shrieked Miteki, and then lowered her voice. "You already have slept with him, haven't you!"
Yumi closed her eyes and said nothing.
"Not that that's such an impressive feat..."
"Oh, you wouldn't know until you've tried it."
"I don't like man-hos! I like my shy little piano virtuoso."
"That's all good if you're a piano."
"And it's all good to love a playboy if you've been cloned..."
In the coffee shop they argued the merits of their respective beloveds, and Yumi could almost forget about the unsettling feeling in the back of her mind.
Still trying to block it, she fell asleep studying that night. There was a history test tomorrow.
If it was because of a dream, she couldn't remember, but when Yumi woke the next morning, her apprehension had multiplied significantly. She could hardly think straight.
What is the matter with me? she thought after spilling her breakfast tea. How can I take a test like this? Should I even go to class?
She went anyway, hoping that perhaps she'd see Touga and get a sense of normality, if that was possible on this campus. But he wasn't there again. Was that all that was wrong? It couldn't be...something was profoundly awry...
"Are you okay?" was the first thing Miteki said to her.
"No. Something's wrong."
"What? Are you sick?"
"That's not it... I don't know what it is. Tell me if anything comes to you."
"Sure."
Her movements were uncertain, as though everything in the room threatened her, and she certainly looked unwell. Even the homeroom teacher couldn't help but remark, "Maigo, you're very pale. Are you sick again?"
"Um, a little," said a timid voice not at all like Yumi's. Maybe she really was sick the other day... thought Sasaki-sensei. "Well, I'm glad you could make it anyway. Feel better."
"Thank you, ma'am." Yumi knocked her book off the desk, confusing herself, and a boy handed it to her. The whole day's going to be like this... What's going on? Where's Touga?
Concluding that she actually had been ill, and remembering that she was also a new student, the teachers asked her only the simplest questions. The literature teacher told her privately that Yamaguchi-sensei said she didn't have to take the test if she didn't feel ready for it. Yumi gave profound thanks, though that brought her no closer to solving the real problem.
By lunchtime she looked positively haggard. Every passing moment that she didn't know what the problem was grated on her nerves. She couldn't eat. "What on earth is the matter with me?" she cried. "Teki- chan, can't you tell me? I thought you could see people's misfortunes!"
"I don't know, nothing's come to me, Yumi-chan," Miteki replied. "Close your eyes and try and relax, and let your mind wander. Maybe images will come up to tell you something."
Miki came over then to greet them. His shyness at seeing Miteki was overridden by concern when he saw Yumi with her white face and big paranoid eyes. "Yumi-san! Is something wrong?"
"Yes! Something's terribly wrong! Do you know anything? Has anything happened?"
"No, nothing's happened." Of course he couldn't tell Yumi about the duels; that had happened but of course it had absolutely nothing to do with her, nor was it very terrible, now that Himemiya was with Tenjou again who was kind to her. "It's a perfectly ordinary day."
"No it isn't!" shouted Yumi, all her anxiety coming to the surface. "Where's Touga!?"
"Yumi-chan," Miteki complained. People were staring and murmuring.
Juri looked over at the scene and wondered if she should intervene.
"I don't know," said Miki, agonized. "Yumi-san, please stop tearing yourself up over him! He isn't worth it!"
"You don't know anything!"
CRACK!
Making a sudden appearance, Juri delivered a light bitch-slap. "Get ahold of yourself, fool!"
Several people nearby gasped, including Miki, but no one dared to stare at Arisugawa-sempai.
Yumi was furious, but she obviously couldn't fight back. She had to think before saying anything. "Well damn if I'm not getting bitch-slapped these days more than the Rose Bride."
"You—what!?&q uot; Juri's eyes widened as she realized that Yumi indeed knew something—far more than she should. Miki was shocked speechless.
"That's right, Arisugawa-sempai. I know a lot more than you think. So why don't you tell me what's going on?"
Juri stared at her and said finally, "Not here." She touched Miki's shoulder. "Leave her be." Then she marched off.
"I—I'm sorry," Miki said weakly, and left.
Miteki didn't know what to think. "Yumi-chan, what the hell!"
"I'm sorry for being so unpleasant today, but I told you there was something wrong." Closing her eyes, Yumi leaned heavily on the table. "Now let me think."
Miteki didn't say anything. She was a bit mad at her for making Miki upset.
Yumi too was quiet, thinking, trying to feel under the roiling currents within. The anxiety was for Touga, of course it wouldn't be anything else, and by trying to suppress it she had blocked her mind to its cause.
Something wrong...
An idea flared in her mind. "Teki-chan," she said briskly, "think back. In all your time here have you ever had any visions about Touga—about the Student Council President?"
"I...I don't think so..." Touga's cruel laughter at Yumi's anguish—no, that wasn't what she meant at all. "I try to forget all the visions, because no one wants to hear about them."
"Please try to remember. Anything, it could be the answer..."
Miteki had that image again of a dark room. And then she remembered. The same image had flickered before her inner eye a few years ago when she'd first glanced at the Student Council President. Only then it had been clearer—a record player, a chair, a table with a hand on a gun. It came back vividly when she willed it. She described the image to Yumi. "I don't know how that's relevant, but that's it..."
"A record player? A gun?" murmured Yumi, utterly confused.
There was this depressing book in lit class where this character's father had shot himself, and the guy kept remembering his father's hand hanging limply onto the gun and...
"A GUN!?" Yumi jumped up so that her chair flew back onto the floor with a clatter. Miteki saw for a split second her expression of sheer dread before Yumi ran out of the building as though she had demons at her heels.
"Yumi-chan!" called Miteki, standing. But Yumi didn't pause. Should I find Miki again? she wondered. Then she made the same realization that Yumi had—what that image could mean. Oh no...she has to save him? Yumi-chan, be careful...
Yumi made her gangly legs go faster than ever before, zooming out of the main campus, all the way across that damned impressive bridge to the dorms. The paths all looked the same. Where...she could never remember where things were when she needed to... Where? Where? If she paused to get her bearings she would faint. She took a wrong turn and then saw the Student Council dorm across a lush lawn; she cut across, half aware that it was horrible manners. She found her way inside to his rooms, yelling his name though she had no breath. Almost delirious with exertion and fear and confusion, deafened by her heart pounding in her ears, she didn't hear the strange music at first. When it reached her ears, she followed the sound and threw a door open on darkness, yelling, "TOUGA, DON'T!"
But her cry was lost in the sound of the gunshot.
