Title: No turning back
Author: B-witched83uk (bwitched83uk@aol.com)
Rating: PG
Summary: Sequel to Luthien's flute. Aragorn, Arwen and the family visit Rivendell.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings. The whole of Middle Earth belongs to Tolkien.
Warning: This chapter isn't a pleasant read. It is pretty dark and filled with Galadwen's pain.
Chapter 10
Afraid of the dark
Galadwen sat alone, watching the day turn to night. The grace of life had left her body, leaving in its place only an empty shell. There were no tears left in her. Her dry eyes continued to stare before her, as the dull knife twisted in her heart.
Legolas was gone. Lothvain was gone. What had she done? She was the course of his death; she may as well have fed him the poison herself.
Her heart, how she hated it. It had never done anything but cause pain and grief. No it was not her fault Lothvain was dead, it was her heart's.
It had been six days since Lothvain's passing, the days and nights had all seemed to bleed in to each other. Every now and then her mind would wonder to the future. What would she do now? Where would she go? How could she live her life, living in the knowledge that Lothvain would forever haunt her peace.
She winced slightly at the intense pain that was clawing at the inside of her chest, trying desperately to brake free.
Her soul felt suddenly old, her eyes had lost their shine. She had stopped functioning altogether; it was all she could do to remember to keep breathing.
She closed her eyes as the memory of that day flooded her senses. Her guilt was eating her alive, her fear and anger had taken over.
She felt a cool tickle run down her cheek, the chill of her pain, leaking from her eyes. The guilt swallowed her further when she realised that these new tears were not for her husband, the man she had lost forever, but for Legolas, the man who had broken her heart. Never again would she fall pray to love. It was a cruelty that she would not wish on her worst enemy.
And yet even as she thought this, her body ached for the Elf. To feel his arms comforting her. She sobbed openly in to the night air, her whole frame shaking with the intensity of her tears.
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The sun shone brightly, masking the darkness of the night before. Aragorn walked from Galadwen's room, cloaked in sorrow. His eyes were red and swollen from hearing his daughter's pain. He stopped and took some deep breaths, trying to compose himself before he faced his family.
Celebriel watched her father as he made his way towards her. "How is she?"
Aragorn held out his arms and kissed his daughter's head. "Time will heal her, but she will need us now more then ever."
Celebriel nodded, looking slightly disappointed, something Aragorn picked up on.
"Celebriel what is it?" He sat down and motioned for her to join him.
She sat down shyly and looked at her hands. "There was something I wanted to ask you, but given Galadwen's state it doesn't seem to matter anymore."
"It clearly matters to you. It would do me good to hear a problem that I could put right. I feel so utterly helpless with Galadwen."
Celebriel met his eyes and placed her hand over his. "We couldn't ask for a better father, your support is all Galadwen needs from you."
Aragorn stroked a strand of hair from her lovely face "When did you become a grown up?"
Celebriel laughed. "It just kind of snuck up on me."
Aragorn looked at his little girl, not so little anymore. She was a grown woman, a woman to be proud of. "Now tell me what plagues your mind so."
She smiled coyly and bit her bottom lip. "I have never had any taste for life at court, not like my sisters. For a long time now, I have felt as though I do not truly belong. You always say that we must find our own place in life. Well with your permission, I would like to do just that."
Aragorn didn't like the sound of this. He nodded and waited for her to continue.
"I would like your permission to stay in the North a while. To live with Lord Halbarad and train with the rangers."
Aragorn's eyebrows were suddenly as high as Elrond's. "What?"
She stood up, eager to plead her case. "I know that I can not become a ranger, but I would like to learn my skills, just as you once did. I also know that as I am a daughter of the King, this request is most unusual." She looked pleadingly in to his grey eyes. "But please Ada, let me find my place."
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Ithiliwen just sat still as she let her husband's admission flow over her. "And Galadwen had no idea that he came to her wedding?"
Eldarion shook his head. Ithiliwen sighed aloud. Poor Galadwen, how unhappy she must have been.
"And now Lothvain is dead, and Legolas has gone, she is utterly alone." Ithiliwen started to cry for her dear sister in law.
Eldarion sat on the bed and pulled her in to his arms.
"You can not mention this to anyone, not even her." He kissed her cheek, so warm and full of life, so unlike Galadwen's.
She looked up at him and traced her finger over his mouth. She couldn't imagine being in that position. She couldn't bare the thought of loosing Eldarion.
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Arwen watched her eldest daughter, as she sat under the fading trees. She had sealed her own fate, and there was nothing Arwen could do to change that for her. She turned and walked back inside to the warmth of her husband. Galadwen was left alone, choking on her own bitter, darkness.
