After they ate in her room, with J-pop on the stereo, Yumi began explaining everything to Miteki, but halted when she reached the part about convincing Kozue that Miki's distress was Himemiya Anthy's fault. She wasn't sure if Miteki knew about Miki's shy affection for the tiny girl tending the rose garden, and if Miteki didn't know, she didn't want to be the one to tell her.
Even though Yumi really did support keeping Anthy away from him. Miteki, ever polite and considerate despite her sadness, was the real version of what Miki looked for in Anthy. But Miki was taken in by the Rose Bride's quiet allure, an allure that deep down meant something sinister—especially if she was related to that Ohtori Akio.
Finally Yumi bit the bullet and told the entire story; Miteki had to already know.
"That's good," Miteki said, admiring the lie. "I never would have thought of using that for a cover..."
"But the reason it works is, I think, she really could hurt him," Yumi blurted, a bit surprised by Miteki's reaction, or rather lack thereof. "I mean, she's Ohtori's sister—I wouldn't want her anywhere near him."
"All she ever does is stand around and water the roses, though," said Miteki, "and follow that popular pink-haired girl. You really think she's dangerous?"
"Yes, but...dangerous in a way we don't know about..." Yumi snorted. "Like her brother." Miteki looked worried. Yumi hadn't meant to worry her any more. "Anyway, the point was to get Kozue's suspicion away from you, and it seemed to work. But she said something really interesting then." Yumi told her about Kozue's wondering aloud if she lashed out because she didn't know how to protect him from Anthy.
"Oh...that would make sense." Miteki looked down, thinking what luck it was that it had to be her because she'd been stupid enough to leave her awful poetry lying around.
"But that makes me glad I thought of apologizing to her," said Yumi, "because if she can see things like that about herself, she's probably smarter than we think."
"She doesn't see herself all that clearly, or she'd know she was a fucking skank-ass psychopath."
Yumi laughed at the lapse in Miteki's politeness. "Well, intelligence is limited."
"In some cases extremely limited. So then what happened? Why did the Student Council President's sister come after you all of a sudden?"
Yumi heaved a dramatic sigh. "I'm just getting to that part... Man, is there gonna be a price on my head after that." She finished her account of events.
"Weren't you scared?" Miteki said nervously. "Wow. I think I would have fainted with all those people looking at me."
"Nah. My talent's the opposite of yours; I'm good at making scenes."
"You kind of are... What are those lines on your wrists?" Miteki had gotten something of a wrong idea and was hoping that it was not some kind of self-injury, like she used to do herself at home in Tokyo.
"Great, why don't I just write it on my forehead!" Yumi shouted, flinging her arms up.
"Huh?"
Looking anywhere but at her friend, Yumi spotted an envelope that had been pushed under her door. She went to pick it up. "Uh oh, what's this?" Now that she had a ring, she should probably be wary of letters with the Ohtori seal. She opened it gingerly and, reading it, got an expression something between confusion and scorn.
"What is it?" asked Miteki.
"Nanami is having a surprise party tomorrow to try and cheer up Touga," Yumi said dryly. "Why she's invited me is completely beyond my comprehension."
"Well, if he gave you that ring, it would be an insult to him not to invite you."
"That must be the only reason." Yumi giggled to herself. "I can just imagine the look on her face when she realized she had to invite me or risk insulting him. She'll probably have me killed if I try to go, though. Hey, I can't get you to come with me, can I?"
"I—I really don't like parties..."
Yumi gave her a mischievous look. "You might get to dance with Miki-chan..."
Miteki blushed and exclaimed, "Because that'd do a lot to get Kozue off my case."
"Oh, you know she'll leave with some guy twenty minutes into the event. Or some guys. Maybe some dogs and goats too, and a sheep to round things off..." They laughed.
"Even so, it'd get back to her. Besides, I couldn't—I could never ask Miki to dance."
"I could get him to ask you."
"How?!"
"Well, I don't know. There's still time to think."
"I thought you didn't care for parties either."
"Eh... I don't, really. It's just something to do." Yumi regarded the invitation cynically again. "Besides, I'm kinda curious as to whether I could survive a gathering like that without getting into at least a catfight."
"Please don't get killed. I rather like having a friend."
They grinned at each other. "Maybe I'd just have to stick with Juri the whole time. That would solve two problems—if it looked like Juri and I were an item, that would put out the rumors about you, and Nanami wouldn't have a reason to assassinate me."
Miteki laughed. "Yeah, and then Touga would see if he could get you in a threesome."
Yumi jumped up as if something sharp had poked her in the ass. "Um, gotta pee." She ran out of the room before Miteki could see her turn a shade of red unachieved even by Miki.

"I don't know. I still just don't know!" Yumi worried. There was no way she could convince Miteki come to the party with her, even for the possibility of dancing with Miki; Miteki just hated crowds that much. Yumi had already known that. And here she was in front of her mirror, all dressed to dazzle with Miteki's help, half an hour after the party had officially started, and she still wasn't sure if she wanted to go herself. There would be not only Nanami, but certainly Tenjou Utena, and any number of vicious groupies. No number of potential rivals should faze her in the least, and yet...
She'd thought of asking Touga whether she should go, but had decided not to bring it up. It was supposed to be a "surprise party"—though she was sure he already knew. Why hadn't she asked him? She'd been confused because he acted as though there had never been an extra boy in the room the other night. Perhaps it was silly of her to think that it changed anything. She felt like it had changed something in her, but what? She wondered if she would be able to look Saionji in the eye without turning red. She wanted to be able to...
"What I wanted to be? Not a princess. What I wanted to have? Not glass slippers..." sang Ayumi.
"Well you really look great," said Miteki, praising her own work as much as Yumi's appearance. "And if Nanami's trying to cheer up her brother, she won't start a fight at the party. But don't go if you really don't want to."
Her mind, tossing thoughts around like nothing so much as popcorn in a popper, made ridiculous leaps as if jumping for excuses not to show up. "What if the Trustee Chairman's there!?"
"Surely she'll only have invited students from the junior high and high schools," said Miteki. "Why would he come to a high school party?"
"Yeah... I'm just getting weird thoughts. I...actually, I don't think I want to go...but I'm not sure why. If I don't go, it'll be like I'm afraid of Nanami..." Yumi regarded herself nervously, done up perfectly in a white-on- white patterned silk dress and matching headband with a rosette, and a bright gold scarf and nail polish, applied by Miteki, that matched her eyes. Her eyelids shimmered, makeup also applied by the skilled poetess, and her lips were the color of a room called Floating World. Wouldn't it be a waste not to let Touga see her so beautiful? But there would be plenty of dressed-up beautiful girls, many more so than her, and why enter into a competition with them? She laughed suddenly. "Isn't this what normal girls think about? Whether or not to go to a party hosted for the person they like? Worrying whether other girls will outshine them?"
Miteki smiled. "Yeah, I guess that is pretty normal. But Yumi-chan, you shouldn't worry about other girls 'outshining' you. You're stunning. I think 'angelic' is the word."
"Cut it out, Teki-chan, I'm not that pretty. I'm too thin. Good thing they make padded bras or this dress would look downright stupid."
"He seems to like you fine without a huge rack. Don't be so hard on yourself; how you look isn't an issue."
Yumi said nothing to the point that Saionji had made a snide remark about her lack of curves, and Touga had only defended her by hinting that there were more important things than a huge rack. "Do you think I should go?"
Miteki sighed. Yumi must have asked her that about fifty times. "If you want to go, then go. If you don't, then don't. It shouldn't be a competition with Nanami or anyone else. It should be about you having fun."
"It'd be fun if I could dance with him...but even that would be a competition. Because truckloads of girls will be there with the same ambition. If I get to, I can't help but feel superior. I can't dance, though, not at all." Yumi stamped a high-heeled foot in frustration. "I wish I knew if he wanted me there."
Miteki thought that it couldn't be very healthy that Yumi's wants depended on his whims, but there was nothing she could do about it. "Call him up and ask him."
"It's funny, but I actually don't have his celphone number."
"Call the room and pretend to be refreshment delivery or something."
"She wouldn't give him the phone; she's the one hosting it."
"Hmm..." They both sat down, wracking their brains for a way to contact Touga. Nothing came up.
"I'll just go for a little while. If he wants me to stay, then I will." Yumi stood up again, confused with herself. "I don't get why this is such a big deal anyway. It's not like the fate of the world hangs on it! It doesn't even matter whether or not I'm there!"
"No, not really," Miteki agreed.
"I'd better go, then. You never know—something interesting just might come up." A bit reluctantly, Yumi turned off the stereo and headed for the door, and they walked out into the warm night. "I have a ring. That means I ought to keep an eye on things."
"Well, good luck," said Miteki after leading her to the party's location.
"Thanks for helping me get ready. See you tomorrow, or something." Yumi smiled, and then they parted ways.
Putting on a blandly cheerful face, hoping she wouldn't tremble, she gave her name to the people at the door who crossed her off the invite list. Well, this was a party. The fancy campus guest house was teeming. What could uncivilized Lady Akashi do in a place like this?
She saw him across the room in a throng of groupies, and had no idea how to get to him. She was tall enough that he would see her if he cared to look. She wandered around aimlessly, ignored but for the inevitable glares, wondering what to do with herself. She wasn't worried; it didn't matter much. No one would want to fight at a party for the Student Council President.
"Look, it's Yumi-chan," said Chiharu. "She's all by herself."
"Poor girl. He's not going to notice her," said Rini.
"Well, we can't all have Kozue's charisma," Motoko remarked. Kozue had ditched them to flirt and was surrounded by nearly as many boys as Touga was by girls.
"Yes, Kozu-chan looks very busy with her charisma," Chiharu snorted. "Let's go cheer up Yumi-chan."
"She looks just fine," Motoko said, but followed the other two anyway to where Yumi wandered idly.
"Hi Yumi-chan! Wow, you look great!" chorused Rini and Chiharu, while Motoko drawled in her sullen way, "'Sup."
"Oh—hi!" Yumi grinned with genuine delight, almost forgetting that these three were prime examples of fair- weather friends. "You guys look nice, too."
"We're so sorry for being so mean to you," Chiharu gushed. "I just hated it!"
"You know, well, Kozue is Kozue," Rini added regretfully.
"Why did you apologize to her?" said Motoko.
"I don't like being mean, either," replied Yumi. Had Kozue guessed her intentions and sent them to counterspy on her? They were nice company, but not very trustworthy. "I've missed a lot. What's everyone been up to lately?"
"Don't be silly, Yumi-chan! We want to hear about you."
"Yeah, you haven't even been in school—you must be up to really interesting stuff!"
She tried not to blush, wondering if indeed they had been instructed to gather information on her. There wasn't much she would tell them; even if they didn't plan to report directly to Kozue, these gossip maniacs would blab anything of significance to the rest of the school. "Well," she said a bit smugly, "everyone must know to whom I'm keeping company."
They squealed, like that day in the lobby when Kozue had shoved her into his path. "Did he really give you that ring?"
"Of course. Did you think I was lying?"
"Pay up, Moto-chan!"
"Not 'til I see proof!"
"Oh, you'll have it," muttered Yumi, as flocks of beautiful vultures across the room vied for Touga's attention.
Rini and Chiharu exchanged curious glances. What kind of scene would Yumi make tonight?
"What'd he say when he gave it to you?"
"Did he ask you to go steady!?"
People were eavesdropping. Kozue's cronies were not the only ones eager to hear Yumi's explanation. Many a girl was desperate to know what Yumi had done that was so special.
Yumi wondered if she should spout off silly things like yes, he'd asked her to go steady (whatever that meant), yes, he'd even said he loved her. It was what people wanted to hear; they wanted to believe it was possible to win Touga's heart, even if some would drown in misery because it hadn't happened to them. She was tempted. Oh, how the vultures would scatter, how the blonde mosquito would tremble with rage! How the multitudes would try to ingratiate themselves with her in attempt to discover how she'd done it! But it was too risky; if he chose to ignore her tonight she would make a fool of herself, and besides, something so childish could hardly do much for his opinion of her. And it was silly and childish! Why would she want to feed rumors like that? Better to stick to truths that people wouldn't understand.
"He said I have 'shining strength,'" she told them finally, though no less proudly than she would have given a false answer. "He said I have brightness inside me."
Just as she knew they would, her interrogators made blank faces.
"Wow, that's deep... He must really like you!"
"Are you his girlfriend?"
Yumi shrugged, but shocked herself a bit with the answer that came out. "More like his concubine."
More squealing. Eavesdroppers put hands over mouths to cover scandalized high-pitched giggles.
"Did I say that out loud?" Yumi mumbled sheepishly. The damage was done; now she'd have to go along with it. "He has great skill with the sword, you know..."
"Yumi-chan!" they squeaked, gasping with laughter.
"Yes, his kendo stick is really one of a kind."
More hands went to mouths, suppressing shrieks of hilarity.
"All this talk makes me thirsty," she announced, yawning diffidently, and began making her way to the refreshment table. The squealing trio, and perhaps a few others who craved answers, followed her.
The questions, she knew, were by now burning in many a mind. Did she, in fact, have Kiryuu Touga's heart? Was he truly allowing her, and only her, to see him during his unexplained absence? Had he truly given her the ring? She had already answered the last question, and if they didn't want to believe her, well, that wasn't her problem.
"Excuse me—can I talk to you for a minute?" Tenjou Utena had appeared in front of her. She had not deigned this time to don a dress; she was still the boy-uniformed wonder. She looked a bit anxious, a bit eager.
Yumi regarded her coldly. She had to admit she was curious about what Utena could possibly have to say to her. "Um, sure." They moved away from the crowd, a little ways down a corridor.
"Hi, I'm Tenjou Utena. Sorry if I'm wrong, but you're Yuumi, right?"
"It's Yumi. And I know who you are. You're famous."
"Well, not really..." Utena put a hand on the back of her head, a masculine gesture, and smiled humbly. "See, I have the ring too, and I was just wondering something..."
"You want to know where I got it, right, because I didn't have it before, right?"
"Yeah—how'd you know?"
"That's what everyone wants to know." Yumi affected an innocent smile. They were almost the same height, but she was a bit taller; it gave her a completely fatuous sense of superiority.
"I was wondering because, well—this is going to sound kind of silly, but—a prince gave this ring to me a long time ago, and I've been trying to find him ever since..."
"Oh," said Yumi brightly, "a prince gave me mine, too."
Utena's heart made a great leap of ecstatic hope, while at the same time she felt a stab of jealousy at the possibility that her prince could have given her up for lost and decided to bestow a ring upon another girl. "What—really!?"
"Yes. A tall, handsome prince."
"You—you met him? Recently?" Utena was sure that Yumi could hear her heart pounding.
"Oh, I'm with him all the time." Yumi made her eyes misty with romance, perfectly aware of how cruel she was being, and unable to stop herself. Why was she being so mean? A part of her smarted with guilt, wanting to apologize, get the truth out. She really wasn't made for being mean. And yet most of her was enjoying it.
"Who is he!?" Utena cried.
"You know him already. He's here, in fact."
Utena looked past her to search the crowd wildly.
"He's been right under your nose the whole time," Yumi said. "The nose that you keep pointed in the air, looking for dreams in the clouds, unable to see what's in front of you."
Utena focused on her again. "What do you mean?"
"I mean you had your chance with him." Yumi's voice went cold, and she couldn't stop her words, even though she was worried that she was making a fool of herself, and if not that she at least sounded like a soap opera. "You probably still have it. But you won't see. He's not good enough for you, oh no, not for noble Tenjou Utena. You're too proud of yourself in your cute little boy's uniform—you're too busy being a prince yourself to notice when a real one comes along. And that's why you'll never find your prince."
Not being one to reveal when she'd been cut to the quick, Utena quietly bore the brunt of Yumi's words. By now she had a bit of an idea what the deal was.
"It's past bedtime for fanciful children like you. Why don't you go to sleep—you'll only see him in your dreams." With that parting shot Yumi turned. I'm not like this, her heart wanted to say. I don't know what's gotten into me...
"Hey!" Utena yelled. "You don't have to be so mean! I just asked you where you got your ring!"
Yumi didn't turn back. "Haven't you figured it out yet? A prince gave it to me—a prince with a heart that fools like you can't see."
Utena looked at her steadily. "Are you going to challenge me?"
At that Yumi jerked her head around to give her a sharply contemptuous glare. "Challenge you? If you hurt him again, I'll just kill you in your sleep. Sweet dreams, Prince Utena." She jerked her head forward again and kept walking back out to the party.
Utena exhaled with something like bewilderment. Talk about a distorted perspective! What was it about the Student Council President that could mess with people's heads so badly?
I ought to know, she thought wryly. I only just escaped it.

Yumi was stunned by her own cruelty. She hadn't known she could be that mean to someone. It wasn't fair to pick on Utena's dreams—anyone could just as easily attack her own. But she probably hadn't fazed Utena that much. By the end she must have come off as just another jealous groupie.
Except that she had the ring. None of the groupies had that.
She should leave before she ripped someone else to shreds. But there was a knot of frustration in her gut for the fact that he still hadn't noticed her. She went to the refreshment table, as she'd been about to do before Utena accosted her, and looked for something to drink. She was, in fact, thirsty.
Someone held a glass of red wine out to her, saving her the trouble, and she smiled, suspecting who it was. But then when she actually looked she jumped and made an odd squeaky sound.
Not how she would have hoped to react when confronted again by Saionji Kyouichi.
"Wine?" His violet eyes danced with wicked amusement at startling her.
"Only if you haven't put an indirect kiss on it," she snapped, irked with herself. It was a stupid thing to say, and she regretted it even before the reply came.
"Indirect kisses didn't bother you the other night."
Heads turned. This conversation was interesting.
Yumi's cheeks reddened, but mostly with anger. How she wanted to hit him! "I would slap you," she managed coolly, "but I don't want you to spill that wine on my dress."
"But you don't seem to have a problem either with me helping you out of your clothes."
Whispers and incredulous giggles started. Yumi shut her eyes tightly. She wanted more than anything to yell for Touga, but was afraid that he would pretend there was nothing between them. Here was Saionji making it sound in front of the whole school like....
What could she do!?
There was nothing for it but to attempt to maintain her dignity. She could see that Kozue's cronies wanted to rescue her, but were loath to oppose the kendo team captain. "I wouldn't have expected such crude behavior from the Student Council Vice President and captain of the kendo team. Especially since he's just been readmitted and should probably conduct himself to prove that he is of such upstanding character that the school was right to have reversed his expulsion," she said with acid formality. "Or is he now convinced that he can get away with anything and everything?" Since everyone was listening in, she wanted to add, "Including getting fresh with the Student Council President's girlfriend?" but was wary of pushing her luck. Instead she finished, "Like some common acquitted criminal?"
Listeners gave each other intrigued glances. Her comeback had been flawless; there wasn't much he could say to that and keep his own dignity. But now the burning question was, were Saionji's words true?
But it was as though he heard the words she wanted to say, and twisted them. "'Anything and everything'? You mean like, for instance, screwing the crazy girl who thinks the Student Council President gave her a ring?"
Yumi's mouth fell open in horror. She probably deserved this for what she'd said to Utena, but that didn't slake her fury. An old- fashioned ladylike slap in the face could not suffice. Instead she picked up a punch bowl and sloshed its entire contents at him, thoroughly enjoying the look of panic on his face when he realized what she was going to do and that there was no way he could move fast enough to save his uniform.
Everyone within earshot knew he'd earned it, but no one laughed. There was only stifled snickering.
"You are full of shit," she said bluntly, and stalked away, leaving the kendo jock soaked and blinking. Or she would have, but there was Touga.
"Yumi, what did you do?"
She looked up indignantly. "Did you hear what he said!?"
"No, but—"
"You could have stopped him, but you didn't. You could act like you did give me this ring, but you won't. And that's what happened!" Tears of shame welled up in her eyes, because Touga would never admit in front of everyone that he had given the ring to such an uncivilized, childish, stupid crazy girl. And now everyone thought she was a whore.
This wouldn't do, he thought. He wasn't supposed to be hurting her feelings, yet. "Oh, Yumi, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't see you. Here, come outside and tell me what's wrong..." He took her hand and led her out a side door, and she tried to hold her head high amid not a few skeptical glares. Miki's amazement and Juri's amused approval were also in the crowd, but they didn't make her feel much better.
The moment they were out in the cooling air, all her anxiety came to the surface and she began to cry. This made her even more ashamed so that soon she was sobbing almost hysterically. Praying that her moodiness was not an indication of pregnancy, he let her cry against his chest.
"I don't understand—I, I'm being so awful—I can't believe it—"
"Ssh, it's okay."
"I can't—everyone wants to know where the ring's from—but no one believes me if I tell them—"
"It's alright. They just can't understand."
"Everyone hates me!"
"I certainly don't hate you."
She drew a deep breath and sighed. That had gotten her to stop sobbing. "I shouldn't have come. I don't know why I was invited. I didn't really want to...but I wasn't sure if you wanted me here..."
"Yumi, Yumi, I wouldn't want you anyplace where you don't want to be."
Her face grew calm, almost happy, his words of affection soothing her. She laughed halfheartedly. "I was so pretty, and now look at me..." Her makeup was smeared, and a bit of punch had splashed her when she lifted the bowl.
"You're always pretty. Especially when you smile." He wiped her mascara-tinged tears away tenderly, wondering if this was finished yet. Some people inside would be getting very angry, chief among them Nanami.
She smiled shyly. He had never called her pretty before. "I'm so sorry. I always make such a fiasco out of everything... I—I guess I wanted, I don't know, to prove that you gave me the ring, that I didn't steal it or something... I don't even know why. I shouldn't care what they think." The things Saionji had blurted out came back to her. She hid her face again in his chest. "He said such awful things! In front of everyone!"
"I'll tell him off in front of everyone," he assured her. "Though you did do your part to that effect."
"It didn't make what he said disappear."
"I'm sorry. It's my fault. I shouldn't have...introduced you to him. He really is a misogynist. And occasionally quite the opposite of a gentleman. It's not a good combination. He probably just wanted to annoy me, anyway..."
He trailed off. Voices were drifting outside to them—familiar voices.
"I can't believe you did that! You worthless scoundrel! How could you ruin my brother's party like that?"
"Excuse me, girly, I'm not the one who dumped a punch bowl on someone."
"Anyone would have dumped a punch bowl on you after what you said! I can't believe someone in your position would be so crude!"
"So you're taking her side now? Standing up for the girl who says your brother gave her a ring?"
"I am not taking sides! She's a nutcase, talking to her is asking for trouble!"
"So why'd you invite her?"
"Because obviously she got the ring somewhere—and because I assumed people like you wouldn't be stupid enough to talk to her! It's your fault, you oaf!"
"'Oaf'? I won't hear this. Goodnight."
"Oh yes you will!"
Touga and Yumi looked at each other and laughed quietly. Apparently Nanami was already giving Saionji a tongue-lashing in a room with open windows. Yumi grudgingly had to give her credit—that did take more than a little strength of character.
"I don't think I can leave," said Touga. "But I'll walk you back. I'm sorry you had such a bad time."
She thought of what a story she had for Miteki. "Well, it wasn't all bad. Dumping a punch bowl on Saionji was a rewarding experience."
"Now, Yumi, don't do it again," he teased her. He had to wonder how jealous Yumi really was.
He kissed her for a long time outside her door, and then made a comment to the effect that it would be a relief to see her tonight after fending off all those shallow giggly girls.
She couldn't bear simply guessing at the meaning of his words, trying to decipher whether he meant them or not. "Does that mean you want me...and only me...?" she said, swooning.
"It means you have more substance in the tip of your nose than all of them put together." He touched her nose as he said it, and left to make sure the party wasn't completely ruined.
It was true at least for tonight. He wanted her, and none of them.
She went into her room to change. Her ring shone. "I told you, you're different," he'd said.
When the party ended, she would be back in the pink room waiting for him. But first she had time to report to Miteki. Knowing her friend would still be awake, Yumi washed her face, put on lounging clothes, and went to Kurihama dorm.
Hearing of the incident, Miteki laughed loud and long. "I do wish I could have seen that! But why—why did he say all those things to you? Even he isn't usually like that, I don't think... I thought I'd heard of him being kind of a cold and distant person."
"He wanted to embarrass me. He knows I must be the one who told on him that other night." She wouldn't say anything about the night before last, oh no, not even to Miteki. She wanted to be able to vent her extreme frustration at not being able to face him with dignity, but there wouldn't be any way to do that without a full explanation... She vented another frustration instead. "I'm so stupid. You know why I went, it's because I wanted Touga to recognize me. I thought if he just acted like he really had given me the ring, I could stay... Maybe I really just wanted to show everyone up. I can't believe I wanted something so dumb. He doesn't work like that."
Miteki looked at Yumi with sympathy, though in her heart, she felt a tingle of awful premonition. It is beginning...the truth of her longing will be her downfall. "Yumi-chan, it's not stupid for you to want him to treat you like a real person."
"But I'm not a real person, not really. I mean, I didn't even have a—a childhood. No parents, no home, no nothing."
It was an interesting question, whether one was only fully human if born that way. But Miteki was a believer in souls, though she often thought that she lacked one herself. "Of course you're a real person. You have a soul, don't you? That means you are human. That wasn't what I meant, anyway. I meant he doesn't treat anyone like a real person." She shouldn't say things like that, Miteki thought. She'd make Yumi angry...
"That isn't it! He—he can't show people his heart. I wanted to go up to him but I was so afraid he'd just treat me like all the others. He said I was different but I couldn't know if he'd act like that in front of everyone else..."
Afraid of having her beautiful illusion shattered, hissed the voice of foreboding. "Don't you want someone you can trust?"
Yumi looked wistfully into space. "I am the mistress of what no one else knows."
"Huh?"
"How could I expect him not to treat me like just one of the giggly people? Everyone would want to know why. And the why...is so many secrets. He could never act like I'm any different, even if I have the ring. That would mean I know the things that they don't—that he'd never want them to know. They can't understand. Yumi, mistress of secrets!" She pushed her hair back distractedly. She was talking too much again. "What a stupid idea. I should never go to parties. ...And Saionji's got his fans too—I'll have to stay out of the public eye for a while."
Miteki blinked. There was probably a lot going on here that she didn't understand. If Yumi wanted to tell her, she would. But there were always things that people had to keep to themselves. "Well, next time you have cause to dump something on the Student Council Vice President, come get me first."
Yumi giggled a little. "Will do." They watched TV in the lounge, laughing idly, until sometime around eleven, when she decided it was time to leave.
To go back again to the Student Council dorm, back again to the pink room.


It's raining today. Recalling whom I met with the last two times I was out in the rain, I'm staying inside. He has gone out for some reason, perhaps buying me something to apologize for Saionji's behavior. Or perhaps he has returned to his old routine, kissing around. The thought doesn't bother me, as my mind is fully occupied with the conversation that took place last night here in his bed after he returned from the party.
We did some things, and then out of nowhere he said to me:
"I love you."
My breath caught and for one beautiful flower moment, the universe was indescribably perfect, an infinite paradise...but then I realized...
"You don't mean that. You shouldn't say that to me without meaning it. That's really harsh."
"I wanted to see if you'd believe it."
"You're cruel. Say it again."
"I love you."
Flowers and fireworks, paradise only slightly tarnished by falsehood, a moment of fantasy perfection before reality returned.
"More."
"What for?"
"If you say it enough, you might start to believe it yourself."
"And where would that get us?" He was amused. He thought it a game, of course.
"Loving one who loves you is true happiness. That's the only way to eternity."
"You're really stupid."
"One of us is," I told him.
Why does he not believe it? How could he be so hurt, so jaded that he has no belief at all in the most powerful joy this world has to offer? A joy so great that even I think it too much to ask...
If one loves another who loves oneself, how can there be sadness? How could someone not see its power?
Perhaps if that someone really believed that he could never be worthy of it. If he cannot love because he believes so completely that he is tainted, defiled, and so he must scoff at its power, knowing only that such joy is not meant for him...
How can I hope to cure this despair? How can I begin to undo what was done so long ago? What can a crazy girl with funny ears do to smash the world's shell?
I won't do anything. If I try, he will push me away. If I make conscious effort, I will become consumed by the hope that by cracking the diamond shell I will be the one to show him the power he cannot see, seeking only to hear those words spoken in truth rather than mockery.
But now that I have heard them, had an artificial taste of the power, am I doomed to seek just that?
Or was the hope planted in me the moment my soul was formed—the hope to know that most powerful joy reserved for human beings?
Why is that such a remote possibility anyway? Who else around here is trying so hard to understand him?...
No more questions. No seeking! No matter how badly I want to believe, I cannot make things into being by willing them so. I cannot break a diamond shell by pounding against it. I will take these days and nights as they come; that is all I can do. And when he wants me, I will be there.
If he needs me, I will be there.



"You okay?" Miteki said over coffee the afternoon of the second day after the party. Yumi didn't seem nearly as cheerful as was usual for her.
"Yeah, I just... I feel helpless. Stalemated. I don't know how to do anything for him."
"I feel the same way, you know. Except he doesn't pay attention to me." Miki still tended to spend more time with Tenjou and Himemiya, because he had a crush on the latter, and the latter was always with the former. Miteki didn't feel jealous of that, however. It was too cute...
"Something's got to happen soon. Something to let us make sense of things." Yumi sighed and mushed cake crumbs with her fork.
"Yeah, wouldn't that be nice." Miteki listened to the wind howling down the street outside. It was doing that today in every little space it could find, creating an empty feeling.
Yumi heard it too. "I wonder what the wind is searching for."
"Maybe it just wants to be noticed."
They finished their drinks, listening to the wind that all but drowned out the soft jazzy music of the coffee shop.
Suddenly a strange blip went off in Yumi's head. It hurt a little, in an odd tingly way, like when one has been sitting on one's foot and then tries to walk. "Ow—"
"What?"
She felt the pang in her soul. It was a pang of fear, and knowing—and maybe something else. The blip simply could not mean anything good. She stood abruptly. "Something's wrong!"
"What's wrong?" said Miteki, who certainly knew enough to be worried.
"I'm finding out!" Yumi slammed a thousand-yen bill on the table and ran. It was altogether too much like that day with the gun in the dark...
"I'm coming!" Miteki shouted, and, with an apology to the person at the counter, did exactly the same thing.
"It's got—nothing—to do with you," said Yumi, running as fast as she dared. "It's about him—I'm sure—of it."
"What if—it's something—bigger?"
"Then probably—everyone—will know."
"Last time—something was wrong—with him—something happened—to Miki too!"
"Then you're—going to see—Miki?"
"Maybe!"
"He must—still be in—the music room."
"Or the library."
They jogged up the hill to the campus; if they kept going full speed they'd never make it. "You know—" said Yumi, "I don't—trust this place—at all."
"I know just—what you mean!"
Finally they reached the campus and headed in opposite directions. Thinking she should probably make an exercise routine of jogging if she had to do this a lot, Yumi burst into the Student Council dorm and into his rooms, where she found him slumped in that same chair.
But it was silent. Too silent.
She went to him. He looked unconscious and in pain.
"Touga! Can you hear me? Touga!"
His shirt was hanging half open. He was hardly breathing; his skin was cold and clammy as from a nightmare. He opened his eyes a little, but they seemed glazed over, unseeing, as if he really was caught in some evil dream from which he could not wake. This was different from that other time—worse.
"Touga, wake up! It's me, Yumi! Wake up! It's Yumi!" She took him by the shoulders, and he tumbled from the chair into her arms. They both fell, with her kneeling and him collapsed onto her lap.
"The sword..." he whispered deliriously, and fainted again.
There could be a simple explanation. He was walking around in the rain yesterday; he could just be ill.
He could, but he wasn't. There were no simple explanations in this place.
She could smell something strange, sickly-sweet, like dead flowers. She looked back toward the door—the door that, like those before it, had been open when she got there! Something truly sinister was about, something whose evil intent made her shiver. She glared up as though the something could be watching her from the ceiling, laughing at her futile attempts to protect him.
"What have you done to him?!" she screamed at the dark room.

Naturally, she stayed with him. He didn't come to until after dark, and what he told her was strange and sinister indeed.
He could tell her, he thought, since she was going to duel at some point. He didn't know what it was himself, but it was something about the duels.
"A girl came in. I thought it was probably you, but it wasn't, obviously. There was something wrong with her; I couldn't get away. She—she took a sword out of me."
Yumi's big amber eyes grew angry. "What..."
"Then I blacked out, didn't I? It wasn't exactly the most pleasant experience."
That meant, of course, that it had been horribly painful. Who was going around pulling swords from him and causing him such pain that it sent a blip of alarm through her head? If she found who was behind this, they would do well to avoid underestimating her.
"I can't leave you for a second, can I? I'm sorry. I should have been there..."
"No, I'm glad you weren't. I don't know what they might have done to you."
She stroked his hair. There were lines where his face had pressed into her skirt, and he still seemed weakened. She took him to the sitting room with its sofas and coffee table. "Try to stay out of trouble while I find you some dinner."
That night he told her what it was like to be in the duels. And what it was like to be beaten by Tenjou Utena.
Her fists clenched beneath the sheets. How could that upstart girl-prince have won against him? It made no sense. Unless...unless Utena wanted it more than he did.
"Why do you want it?" she asked. "The power to revolutionize the world or whatever it's supposed to be?"
It was a little bit before he answered. "The power to revolutionize the world...to smash the world's shell. Don't you feel like this world is just a tiny shadow of reality? Like a chick encased in an egg, unable to get out? If it can't break out of the egg, it will die without being born, without ever knowing how to fly. We all want that power, to find the true world, to become what we're meant to be. To break out of our shells and fly. That is the power of revolution—the Power of Dios." His voice held something of prophecy, something of yearning.
Her heart was pounding. So he did want to break the diamond shell, he knew that his true self was hidden away within, a chick trapped in its egg. But he could see no way of breaking that shell except to win some mystical power in a floating upsidedown castle.
"There are other ways," she said very quietly, "of breaking shells. The Power of Dios can't be the only path to revolution."
"Here, it is the only path." He held up his hand for her to see the ring. "As all who wear the Rose Signet know."
"I wear the Rose Signet, and I'm not sure of that."
"You will be."
Am I too trapped in an egg? she wondered. Am I something other than what I'm meant to be? She felt suddenly terrified at the idea that she was not meant to be human, with him. When somebody won the Power of Dios, would her human form vanish, leaving her as she once was? But no, that was absurd. She had a soul, and she was meant to love him.
She knew that, but she did not know what she was meant to be to him. Could the Power of Dios tell her? Could the Power of Dios let her help him...?
The power to revolutionize the world. The power to smash the world's shell.
So she had to fight as well... "Because you want to fight for me," he'd said.
Their conversations at night kept getting weirder, she thought. But he wouldn't have mentioned Tenjou Utena at all if he didn't want her, Yumi the strange girl, to avenge him.

Another day went by, unremarkable enough that Yumi felt as though some kind of tension was building. Probably within herself more than anywhere else. In moments when her mind wandered she saw strange fantasies of herself holding a sword—a metal one, not a bad double entendré one. She had startled herself when, quite without thinking about it, as he was in the shower she picked up the red umbrella cryptically given her by the Trustee Chairman and play-practiced fighting stances. That lasted all of about ten seconds before she realized what she was doing (and how stupid she must look doing it) and put down the umbrella, trying to figure out what was getting into her.
So, it would probably happen sooner or later. But how could she duel? She had no knowledge whatsoever of martial arts. She didn't even know what kind of sword would suit her.
But she easily put such questions from her mind, knowing that answers would come as needed. She wished, however, that he would validate or refuse this impulse that crept up on her, and tell her whether or not this was truly the way to fight for him, the way he wanted her to fight for him.
She was not made for dwelling on antipathy, and she had surprised herself by being so hostile to Utena at the party. Still, she knew she would not think twice about fighting the pink-haired cross-dresser if the chance presented itself.
And what about Saionji, who had unknowingly punished her for bitching at Utena? What was on his agenda? Yumi got a picture in her head of the kendo jock writing in a little calendar book—Weekly agenda: Piss off Touga. Boink Touga. Piss off Touga. Boink Touga. Piss off Touga...
She snickered, and Touga gave her a half-curious look. He was trying to get her to learn calligraphy with a brush, since he hadn't felt like reading today. Her concentration was nothing impressive.
The following morning a touch to her shoulder awakened her. It was light out, and he was in his uniform. She blinked at him, wondering if he wanted to go somewhere, but he placed an armful of books on the pink bed.
"I've finally been recalled to the fact that I am, in fact, a student," he sighed. "I have to leave you in the company of literature. Not all of these are as engaging as Genji, but you should read them anyway. If you read enough you'll become better educated than most of the students your age."
"That isn't much of a challenge," said Yumi. "I'm barely a month old."
"Well, then," he said, wondering why she'd ever come up with this fairy story, "you'll be better educated than most of the students the same age as you look."
"How old do I look?"
"Around fifteen, I think."
"Oh. Maybe I do have some academic catching up to do."
He smiled. "That's the spirit. I like a girl with ambition."
She smiled back a bit wistfully, leafing through one of the books. "So you're going to class?"
"Yes. But if you like..." He leaned toward her, almost murmuring in her ear. "You can come see me in the music room at twelve-thirty."
She blushed a little at the proposition, covering her mouth with a hand as her eyes glinted with mischief. "Touga!"
"Just an idea... Well, I'm off." He left, tossing his hair back enticingly, and she knew she could not refuse.
"Come back soon," she replied, the customary farewell that sounded like a wife seeing off her husband. She read for a little bit, and when it was late enough for the coast to be clear she went to her own room with the armful of books, made herself breakfast, put on some J-pop and read some more.
Sometime around one in the afternoon, she left the music room breathlessly fixing hair and skirt.

Perhaps, against all odds, she had managed to change something. He was going to class again, yet she remained the only one to share his bed. Maybe he just hadn't gotten around to sorting through all those phone calls yet... Maybe the others were afraid of seeming too aggressive by jumping him immediately upon his return to class... Or maybe something was happening that he wasn't about to tell her. Yumi did her best not to get her hopes up, but hope had a way of defying common sense.
Several days passed, during which he acquainted her with the best places on campus for mostly-secret daytime trysts. There were plenty of such places in Ohtori, which had to be foremost among sprawling, luxurious private schools. They met in the rose garden at lunchtime or later in the afternoon, and he would take her to some new spot to...take her.
She had finished all the books he'd given her the other day, and had some time to kill, so she wandered around campus for a bit and then went to the music room. It was just the right time to catch Miki starting his after-school piano practice. Soon Miteki would seat herself outside the door, pretending to do homework; after that Kozue would finish some rounds of flirting, or her own midday dalliance, and seat herself outside the window. It was routine, regular as a metronome, and beautiful in its way.
She walked in happily, having taken in the warm sunlight outside. Miki was going through his music books, and jumped when she said brightly, "Hi, Kaoru-sempai!"
"Oh—Yumi-san! Hi!"
"Sorry I startled you. I haven't really seen you in weeks, have I?"
He was such a kind presence, she always felt totally at ease with him. There was a sort of comfort in the fact that he would never be angry or scared of her or anything for being what she was. Hoping she wouldn't put someone in a jealous rage, she sat down beside him on the piano bench, but not too close.
"Yeah, it has been a while... You know, I never got to apologize—I'm sorry for thinking what I did back when...when I jumped to that awful conclusion..."
It took her a moment to realize what he meant. He was still so genuinely troubled over that? "Oh, that was ages ago! Don't worry about it. Nobody even remembers. I've certainly forgiven you."
He smiled nervously. "Where have you been hiding out all this time?"
"Oh, here and there. Touga got me out of class, you know. I don't really fit in. So I just read a lot."
"I see." Miki got a worried look. "Did he really give you the ring?"
"What, all the groupies telling you I stole it or had a fake made? Yeah he did."
"Well—I was just wondering if there was a reason..."
"He didn't ask me to marry him, if that's what you're thinking!" Yumi laughed.
"Did he put you on the Student Council? I mean, if he has, you've missed a couple of meetings." He quietly began practicing some scales, the notes sounding with astonishing speed.
"Not that I know of. Wouldn't I need a cool uniform like Arisugawa-sempai's? Not that I'd be much of a student representative, would I?"
"The Student Council doesn't seem to have much to do with the other students."
"That's very true."
"I mean, I'm just a little worried because, well..." Miki looked at her anxiously. "Yumi-san, the duels have started again."
She blinked. Touga hadn't told her that. "Really? And no one's said a thing to me. Except you, of course."
"Saionji-sempai challenged Tenjou-kun again, but only him so far. And something different is going on—I don't know, I feel like something else is happening." Miki's scales changed to the minor keys, giving his words a sinister edge.
"Like what?"
Nervous, he played faster than ever, without missing a single step. "I really don't know. Just a weird feeling, I guess..."
"It's not weird. I always feel like that." She smiled self-deprecatingly. "Well, I am weird, though."
He looked at her again. "No, you aren't."
She was, of course, but he was being nice, of course. Besides, in Japan calling someone different was a near unforgivable insult. "Thanks, Miki." That was the first time she'd used his given name. But his kindness always made her feel so...warm and fuzzy!
He tried not to blush.
She felt like this was someone who understood her, or if not, would at least believe the best of her. Someone to whom she could voice the troubles that she was unable to share with Miteki. "I've got this ring, so no matter how I got it, that means I have to be in the duels, doesn't it? I don't know if I want to—I mean, I don't think of myself as a fighter, really. Unless it's with Nanami or something, right? But there's something—there's something inside him that wants to be freed. I don't know how I can do anything for him..." She almost got to "except warm his bed," but Miki wouldn't want to hear that. "He gave me the ring and he said I have this 'shining strength,' but it's not enough to help him. If I—if I could get the Power of Dios—then maybe that would be enough... The power of miracles, the power of eternity, the power of revolution, then I'd be able to smash the world's shell, right?"
"Yumi-san..." He felt so much sympathy for her, it almost made his eyes water. She was just a girl in love, and so she was trying to make sense of all these mysteries in which the object of her affection was caught up, when really the mysteries had no place. She wanted nothing but for him to tell her where his heart lay, if he couldn't give it to her, as she'd already given him hers. Miki couldn't find anything to say.
"It's got to be the way. The power is real! I see the castle in my dreams! I can't help it, I keep thinking about swords and I've never even held a plastic one, I keep thinking how much I want to fight her even though she's never done anything to me. I know I have to duel. Maybe it really is the only path left to our true selves."
"But Yumi-san," he found words to his thoughts finally, "don't you think that if...if the something in him...is meant to come out, he'll win the Power of Dios himself?"
"Maybe. Maybe it will happen that way. But I want to fight for him too." She looked at her ring. "I'm not a fighter. Unless it's for him. I'd kill the whole prefecture if it would chase his demons away." Mentally she chided herself. She was saying too much...
He stopped playing. Her voice had gone hard. What was it that she saw, that could make a cheerful-natured girl who vowed she wasn't a fighter willing to take up a sword—or apparently even a nuke if it would help?
"Sorry," she said, laughing at herself. "I'm getting weird. You feel like I do, it messes with your head."
Did she know how apt her sarcastic remark about herself was, he wondered, at least according to Kozue's assessment of the situation?
"Well, that must be quite enough about me!" she said. "What have you been up to? I mean, besides all that crazy Student Council stuff?"
"Nothing much, really," he replied, "unless you want to hear about getting ready for finals and things like that."
"Really? Is it time for that already?"
"Yeah, most classes are starting to review, even though Ohtori's year goes longer than most schools. You don't have to worry about those things, though."
Yumi laughed a little. "I guess not. Do people go home for the summer?" The thought worried her. Where would she go?
"No, actually, we're encouraged to stay. It promotes a sense of community within the school. This is really a nice place to be in the summer, near the ocean and everything. Some people go home if they really miss their families, but of course, most people our age are glad to get away."
Miki was on the verge of asking her a question, but she interrupted. They didn't need to talk about her any more; he was probably going to ask her if she had a family, and he wouldn't get any answers that made sense. "Have you seen Miteki lately?" She watched his fingers on the piano, playing half-step scales now, so she wouldn't see him blush. "I haven't really talked to her in a couple of days."
"Oh, no, I haven't seen her either."
Yumi refrained from dropping hints that he should try to talk to Miteki more, just in case Kozue might be listening. "She must be busy getting ready for finals, too."
Miki steered the conversation away from the pretty dark-haired girl. He had the Chopin book with him today. "You know, there's a piece I've been practicing that kind of reminds me of you..."
"Really?" Yumi noticed the tactic, but it worked nonetheless.
"Yes, it's by Chopin. I bet you'd like him if you listened to classical music. I'm really bad at it, but..."
"Of course I want to hear it," she smiled. "Here, I'll stand out of the way." She got up and stood behind the piano bench.
"Okay." He opened the book and played. The only flaw in his performance was that it was only about three-fifths of the speed at which it was supposed to be played.
It brought tears to her eyes. It seemed as though her whole life was in that song. Starlight gleaming on roses; yearning for unnameable things; moments of happiness and moments of truth...
She stood in silence for nearly half a minute after the final note faded. "That is the most beautiful music I've ever heard," she said with quiet conviction.
"Well...Chopin really was a genius." More humble than he had any cause to be, Miki scratched the back of his head.

Put in a thoroughly romantic mood, she was humming dreamily when she met him in the rose garden. Not averse to Chopin himself, Touga recognized the melody. "I didn't know you liked classical music, Yumi."
"Not really. It's too civilized for me," she said.
"Apparently it isn't. You would listen to the romantics." He kissed her. "It suits you well..."
They lingered in the garden a bit, and then before Anthy arrived to tend the roses, snuck out and ran furtively to—the dojo.
True, it looked different in the daylight, yet the memory still came up. It was empty but such an open space. "Here?" she said, a bit apprehensive.
He smiled. "No, of course not. In the supply closet."
She giggled, and then something occurred to her. She went around looking at all of the windowsills, until she found the little burn mark. "Look."
"What is it?"
She touched the charred wood, getting a weird chill. "I made that."
"You did? You don't smoke?"
"No, no." The Chopin tune came back to her again. Her voice fell to a whisper. "I was right here, no bigger than your hand. Watching..." She was afraid of what his reaction would be, and yet she had to tell him. To show him this little bit of proof.
"Watching?" Either he didn't quite get it yet, or he was pretending not to.
She took his hand and put his fingertips on the mark. It felt very strange, almost as if it were still warm somehow. Some kind of energy lingered on it.
"What do you mean?" he said. This was beyond his understanding.
"I was here, watching you. I had no form that you could see, nor voice that you could hear. I cast no shadow in the moonlight." She looked back at him uncertainly, a bit pleading. "But I could burn."
He knew by now what she was talking about, her odd little stories, her voyeuristic episodes. There was no reason not to believe her, but, as there was nothing to say to that, he only gave her the blank stare of incomprehension.
She looked down again, sighing. "I guess I can't expect anyone to believe a weird thing like that."
He put his arms around her. "It's not that I don't believe you. I just...don't know what to say. Besides, it doesn't matter whether anyone else believes your story, so long as you believe it."
"It matters to me whether you believe me."
"Yumi, you don't have to prove anything to me. I know everything you say to me is as true as you can make it."
She smiled a little. What was she trying to prove? Wasn't a mark on the west windowsill of the dojo irrelevant by now?
They heard the voices of early-arriving kendo team members. Mischievously they ducked into the dark supply closet, which was spacious and had plenty of hiding places. Whenever someone came to retrieve any gear, they had to fall totally silent and hope that no one turned on the light and looked from the proper angle. It was very exciting.
A little over half an hour went by this way before they heard the stomping and cracking of kendo practice. But then the team captain, in kimono and hakama with his hair tied back, came in and turned the light on to look for something; and Yumi knew why Touga had picked the supply closet of the dojo, of all places. They were caught very much in the act.
She felt him looking at her in complete disgust, and looked back out of the corner of her eye. The distaste in his expression, actually, was doing a mediocre job of hiding the jealousy. She didn't have to smirk; Touga was doing that already. The boys stared at each other. She felt like a casualty of crossfire.
Eventually Kyouichi made a slight cynical sound, then walked around to find whatever item he was looking for and turned the light off and shut the door.
She could not say in complete honesty that she disliked making Saionji Kyouichi jealous. Being used expressly for this purpose, however, made her punch Touga in the side.

That night he was back in his room late. This was not the first occasion, and by the third or fourth she was becoming very curious. She had reason to believe that he was seeing someone in the rose garden; each time he returned well after midnight, the scent of roses clung to him faintly. She didn't feel jealousy, only curiosity. That didn't have to be the truth, after all. There could be some kind of top secret Student Council operation in the rose garden. But she was bent on knowing.
"Where have you been?" Yumi asked tonight.
"Don't ask questions that you don't want answered," was all he said.
That was as clear an answer as she'd get from him. He was meeting someone. But who? Was it the same person every time, or had he simply conceded to her takeover of the pink room by moving his philandering to the rose garden?
If it was important, she'd find out sooner or later. Perhaps Juri would know. Juri came to know pretty much everything that could make gossip. Yes, she would ask Juri.
She hoped, actually, that it was only more philandering, because an eerie suspicion lurked at the back of her mind that it was something else entirely, something not quite as harmless.
In the small hours something woke her. It was him stirring in his sleep. He hardly ever did; he was a deep sleeper, and he rarely even made any indication that he dreamed.
What was he dreaming, she wondered, what vision was so vivid that it surfaced through his sleep like a bubble from far beneath the ocean? In the shadows barely lit by a hint of morning, she could see a tent in the sheets, and smiled to herself as she wondered if his dreams featured her.
His dreams were not of Yumi. He dreamed of memories long before her time—before any girls, before white butterflies, seemingly before time itself—carefully buried memories that came back only when his subconscious called them up, against his diamond will...
Two young boys ran through a forest, daring each other to keep up, and balanced across a fallen log that spanned a deep, cold pool in the middle of the woods. Laughing, they pulled each other off and fell into the water. Fed by a mountain stream, the pool was too cold to swim; they hung their clothes across branches to dry and sat on the rocks as they waited. They listened to the summer breeze in the leaves, the buzzing of cicadas. It was utterly peaceful.
"I know a new game," said the red-haired boy.
The other boy blushed a little. His friend's games tended to get very interesting. "Is it a kissing game?"
"No. It's better." Touga sat up with that mischievous, hungry look he got. "Do you wanna try it?"
"Okay."
"Lie on your back and close your eyes." The other boy obeyed; Touga parted his legs and sucked gently. He wasn't any good at it, not back then, but Kyouichi squirmed and moaned the whole time anyway. Then after a couple of minutes, Touga pulled back and announced, "My turn." He closed his eyes and lay back on the rock with its cozy coat of moss.
Shaking a little, dizzy with immature pleasure, Kyouichi obliged. So warm...and soft... Touga hadn't been sure what to expect; they were too young for fulfillment; but the velvety-sweet bliss was beyond anything he would have hoped for...
And in the memory he was young, but now, dreaming it, his body craved release. He needed it, more than he needed his next breath—and it came—he came—endless spirals of rapture, on and on...
In the pink room, he made little kittenish sounds of utter abandon, completely under the spell of the memory-dream, and unknowing that it was Yumi's mouth which satisfied him. She was only returning the favor that he had done her the other night when she woke in the thrall of dream lust. He was clearly not awake, but from the sound of things, he'd thank her when he was.
"Kyacha..." she heard him sigh.
Kyacha? That wasn't a name. It wasn't even a word.
Just sleepy nonsense syllables.
He enjoyed himself quite a lot, in his sleep. She had to go rinse her mouth out and have a shot of saké. For all that, she thought, a bit amused, he'd better tell me what he was dreaming about.
But he didn't have to lie in the morning when he told her that all he remembered was the pleasure.
"Typical," she laughed.
"And I don't ever remember what I dream. Mm, that really was nice... You must have done it just right."
"After all the time I'm spending with you, it'd be pretty sad if I couldn't do it just right."

Yumi quickly found a new routine. She spent most of her days in the school library, its vast labyrinths of books a perfect hideaway for a strange girl in "specialized tutoring." She liked it there, she felt at ease concealed in the stacks, perhaps as much as Miki on the piano. Anything that caught her interest, she could pluck from the shelf and absorb all the knowledge therein, and if it failed to sustain her interest, there was always something else to find. Most of the time she had to keep a kanji dictionary at hand, but how else was she to learn? History, poetry, science, literature, she consumed it all. To be sure, she learned an odd smattering of facts and culture this way, but it was better than trying to stay awake in algebra. No one knew she was here.
No one but him...
She kept a watch as well as a kanji dictionary. The other thing about the library was that it was close to the music room. Sometimes he asked her to be in one section or another, and came to meet her in the stacks where no one ever went. They found a book of old erotic woodcut prints and tried some of the positions.
Dressed again, one day, Touga jokingly warned her not to read too much, or she might become nearsighted.
"Bad eyesight is hereditary," she said, fixing her uniform tie. "I don't have parents, so that takes care of that problem."
"But that does prove you've been reading too much!" he laughed. "You must know just about everything by now. What's the theory of relativity?"
"Something about time. I didn't understand it."
"I think that's about all any of us picked up, except maybe Mickey the genius. Seems like you're well on your way to catching up with him, however."
He looked at the assortment of tomes she had beside her today. A volume of famous Noh plays, including the one about the fallen tennyo, the celestial maiden who became trapped on Earth. Astronomy in layman's terms, so she wouldn't have to ask the Trustee Chairman about exploding stars. A collection of samurai essays on martial arts. He picked up the latter. "So..."
"Tell me..." She moved closer, looking earnestly up at him. "Do you really want me...to challenge her?"
He touched her face. "I want you to do as your heart tells you."
She thought of the warrior posed on the cover of the book, ready to kill or die for his lord.
She did not have the power. Love alone was not enough. But the Power of Dios was the power to smash the world's shell.
Still, she was not a fighter. Unless...
"Did she hurt you?" whispered Yumi.
He looked down, slowly turning away. His eyebrows drew together just a little.
Her hands became fists. "Then my heart says I must fight."

She did not forget, however, that he was staying out nights and that she was very curious as to what for. That same day she tracked down Juri, who was probably itching to give her "advice" at any rate.
Juri did not like being approached. She had to wait for Juri to see her. She watched the fencing practice, and found Miteki there too, watching Miki. They talked quietly; or mostly, Yumi talked, because Miteki didn't say much, her attention occupied by the elegance of Miki's fencing.
"Those tight fencing outfits really make a spectacle, huh?" Yumi whispered naughtily in Miteki's ear.
Turning bright red, Miteki made a mental note to punch Yumi in the arm later. "What are you here for, anyway?"
"I want to talk to Arisugawa- sempai."
"About Miki?"
"No. It's something else."
"Oh." Clearly Yumi wasn't going to say what, and it didn't involve her. Miteki wondered if she would get to hear Miki play the Chopin piece that Yumi had just given rave reviews.
Practice ended shortly, and Miteki disappeared, too shy to let Miki catch her watching him. Yumi waited around, and Miki greeted her; she said hi and told him her purpose here. He probably passed on the message, because after changing back into her uniform Juri found her.
"Well, Yumi. Come for dueling advice? Did you want to train with the fencing team? Hmm..." Curious to see how it would suit her, Juri took a foil from a wall rack and held it out to the tall aqua-haired girl.
Yumi took it, turning to swish it at empty space. "I probably should. I don't even know how to hold a sword."
"Neither did Tenjou, really, so it probably doesn't matter. You could probably use a few pointers, though. Stop by sometime when practice starts."
"Thanks, Arisugawa-sempai. Do you really think fencing suits me?" She made a pitiful attempt at a stance.
"Perhaps...yes, you look like you'd do better with a rapier than a katana." Juri took the foil and replaced it on the wall. They walked out of the fencing hall.
"Miki told you I'm going to duel, didn't he?" said Yumi.
"Yes, something like that."
"Well, I don't exactly know yet. But I know that I want to."
Juri held in a sigh. "You probably wouldn't have the ring if you didn't."
"Yes, he really did give it to me," Yumi said without being asked.
"Who said he didn't?"
"Well, no one seems to believe it."
"You do say some strange things sometimes. But I'm sure you're not lying about that." Juri didn't say why she was sure. She knew Yumi wasn't lying about that because it was obvious that Touga would use her in every way he could.
"Thanks. You're probably the only person who thinks so." Yumi glanced up at Juri. "Anyway, I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm trying to find something out. It's got nothing to do with the duels, at least, not as far as I know."
"What's that?"
"This is going to sound really stupid, coming from me. But I get this feeling that it's more than it looks like. See, well, Touga's been coming back really late these days—well, not every night—and he won't tell me what it is. It always smells like he's been in the rose garden or something. It's not like I wouldn't be used to the idea by now, you know, of him...being with someone else... He knows that, but he won't tell me where he's gone, even though he makes it sound like that's where he's been... It's really weird. The whole thing just makes me want to know what it is."
She's right, thought Juri, that does sound pretty stupid. But she wouldn't make any harsh remarks today. "Why are you asking me?"
"Well, because usually you know what's going on around school. And I thought maybe there was some secret Student Council business or something—but then of course you wouldn't tell me either." Yumi laughed at herself helplessly.
"It seems that you aren't officially in the Student Council, but since you wear the ring, we wouldn't keep it from you if you asked. There's no secret business at midnight that I know of. It does sound like he's just being himself again."
"Yeah, exactly, it sounds like that. I figured maybe you'd know if that was it. Have you heard anything like that?"
"No, actually, I haven't. Apparently your ring is doing a good job of keeping your myriad rivals' legs closed."
Yumi snorted. "Or else it's doing a good job of keeping their mouths closed after the fact."
"That could be."
"No, wait. The thing that makes me think that isn't it, is that he won't tell me. He loves making people like me jealous. If that was the case he'd just tease me. But I asked him, and he just said, 'Don't ask questions that you don't want answered,' and not in a teasing voice. I try to ask again and he pretends not to hear, but not with that little smirk he gets either."
"Perhaps he's trying to give you an impression of fidelity." In preparation for trying to break her heart, Juri thought, but Yumi always claimed to be aware of that impending doom.
"Yeah, I wondered, but if that was it I'm sure he'd just make up a decent excuse."
"That's true." Juri saw her fidgeting with her ring. "You seem worried, Yumi—do you think he's in danger for some reason?"
"I don't know. Maybe. I am worried. If he was seeing other people he'd taunt me with it. But he'd never tell me if he was in danger." Yumi looked up. They were at the café terrace; Juri must be hungry for an after-practice snack. Juri got some water and rice cakes; Yumi got some iced coffee.
"You know..." said Juri after she'd drank deeply, "I think I once heard something. I'm not sure if it's true, and it might not help..."
Yumi stopped herself from looking sharply into Juri's teal eyes; it was impolite to make too much eye contact with one's superiors. "Please tell me."
"Well, I once heard that a girl saw him writing in something like a diary. Of course, it would be terribly rude to go sneaking around like that, even worse to read it if you actually found it. Personally, though, I don't think it exists. He doesn't seem like someone who would keep a diary. But if you're really worried, well, it isn't relevant whether or not you're being rude." Not that she has a reputation of unblemished virtue, Juri thought, recalling the punch bowl incident.
Yumi's eyes widened. A diary? It did seem unlikely. But she had no scruples whatsoever about looking for it. She did not like adding another layer of deception between them; he would surely be upset if he caught her. Nevertheless she was already resolved to commence the search next time he was out late.
There were any number of places it could be—a hidden compartment she'd never suspect, a locked cabinet to which she'd never find the key, a shelf in the library where it would be missed among all the other books. It may not be anywhere at all. But she would search.
Juri was being far more helpful than she had any obligation to be. I'll have to get her something, thought Yumi. "Thank you, Arisugawa-sempai. I really am in your debt."
"No, no. After all, you're not the kind of person to go peeking in other people's diaries. And I'm not the kind of person to suggest that you should."
Yumi smiled conspiratorially. "Of course not. It's probably just a rumor, anyway."
Later Juri felt a twinge of guilt, but not for the reason that a morally upstanding person might. If Kiryuu Touga's diary really did exist, and Yumi really managed to find it, what sort of things would she read? What unsavory truths might be written on such pages? What might they do to someone who felt as that girl did?
It was true that some questions were better left unanswered.
But if Yumi wanted answers, well, she could probably handle them.

Walking across the campus, Yumi saw the kendo team captain in the grand entrance lobby and braced herself for uncomplimentary remarks. He was bound to notice her, conspicuous as she was, but hopefully he would ignore her today.
No such luck. As she drew near, attempting to ignore him, he gave her an objectifying look.
She wasn't sure whether this was intended to embarrass or annoy her, but it accomplished the latter. Apparently he was good at making these little contests with people, and she had one going with him over who could aggravate the other more in front of other students. She wasn't someone who could just let it go and keep walking.
"KYOUICHI!" she squealed, jumping up to him like a complete ditz. "Where have you been? Do you have a present for me?"
The underlying suggestion to her frivolous words, quite loud and clear, was that he should have a present for her to apologize for being a total jackass at the party. But it wasn't that which got to him.
He made a blank face, trying not to let her see how much it angered him. No one used his given name.
"Huh? Do ya? Do ya?" Yumi bounced up and down like a child after too much candy. She knew what made him mad. "Kyou-i-chi! Ki-you-i-chiii!"
The knowing taunt hidden in her grinning face grated at him. But he'd gotten himself into it. He really wanted nothing more than to slap her to the ground like Anthy. But he couldn't, not in front of everyone; she'd make another huge scene. If he wanted to shut her up he'd have to play along.
"Of course I do," he said, smiling with equally sincere sweetness. "Now come over here so I can give it to you." He led her into a shadowed corner. She skipped merrily the whole way, chanting his given name in sing-song so that he wished for olden days when a samurai could freely strike down anyone who showed the slightest disrespect. His eyebrow twitched.
Other students followed them with their eyes and glanced at each other, completely bewildered, trying in vain to figure out what was the deal. How many Student Council boyfriends does that weird girl have!? There ought to be laws against people like her...
The moment they were out of sight Kyouichi moved to slap her. But she jumped back in time, having predicted that he would do so and watching for it. That was probably a mistake, since it made him angrier. But she wanted to make him angry. He grabbed her wrist and flung her against the wall like he had the night she'd caught him on his way to Miki's dorm, but even more harshly. It hurt, but she didn't flinch, looking at him squarely. "I'm not afraid of you."
"You should be." He leaned over her menacingly.
A flash of an image came back, a warped travesty of what often came to mind when she saw him, that moment of cruelty beyond what she could witness without interfering. She wasn't strong enough to shove him away, so she grabbed him by the collar instead, her eyes narrowed with anger. "Oh, no, Kyouichi," she said in slow dangerous syllables. "It's the other way around. Anyone who hurts him should be afraid of me."
He pushed her hand off his collar, and twisted her arm, daring her to call him by his given name one more time. Still she didn't even wince.
"You'd better believe it. If you hurt him, I'll know. And you'll know that I know when I make your life a living hell."
As if it isn't already, he thought, and laughed in bitter irony. "I should be scared of you? You, dancing around in your fool's paradise, wearing that ring like you think it means he actually gives a shit about you? That's funny. That's really funny. I can't wait to see your face when you finally realize that you mean about as much to him as a blow-up doll. Your head's got the same contents as a blow-up doll, anyway."
So, he was going to rip on her. It was bound to happen sometime. What a nice little powder keg that night had put them all in. She yawned. "Like I haven't heard that tirade before. You'll have to do better than that to upset me."
"Cute little Yumi-chan. Think you've got it all figured out, don't you? But an uncivilized whore with a shiny ring is still an uncivilized whore. I could take you from him, and do you really think he'd lift a finger to get you back? There's plenty more where you come from."
Now Yumi laughed. "Take me from him? Exactly how do you think you'd do that?"
"Oh, I have ways," he said softly. "He's not the only one possessing skill with the sword. You know that perfectly well." He touched her face.
She blushed, half afraid he would kiss her, or something. "Hm. You seem to show a pronounced dislike for me; I don't see how you'd want me for yourself."
"I'll take you from him just to show you that I can. It wouldn't be difficult. You enjoyed me just fine that night." He smiled as she turned pink, fighting down the longing from the memory of that pleasure.
"I did that because he asked me to," she said. She was getting very uncomfortable. The memory of his lips upon her was strong. And much as she didn't need to think so at the moment, it occurred to her that he wasn't much less attractive than the one she loved—probably no less attractive to someone who could see from an objective standpoint, which she, fortunately, could not. He would always have "that night" to use against her.
"Slut. You did that because you liked it."
"So did you! Man-ho!" Funny how she was using the term to disparage him that always got applied to Touga.
"I think you liked it a lot more. Maybe you really like me more than him."
That got to her. She couldn't stand for that kind of remark; she couldn't fight back, so enraged by it that words absolutely failed her. She had to get away. He'd won this round.
"EEK! Don't! You disgusting lecher!" Yumi shrieked for the whole lobby to hear. It was the white flag. He let her go and she ran.
He leaned against the wall, looking after her with a triumphant smirk. She really knew absolutely nothing.