Disclaimer: I do not own the Thunderbirds, blah, blah, blah. (Sorry, couldn't be bothered with the disclaimer today.)

Author's Note: It's a very different chappie this time! All in Virgil's POV! Please review!!!

Fate

By Suzi Roberts

Chapter Ten – Letters From The Heart

"Dear John,

You were the first person I decided to write to.

Over these last two weeks, waiting for my transplant on the 3rd. I've been kinda stressed out over it. All these questions keep running through my head.

I'm still stressed over the fact that Scott is going to be the donor. I'm worried about what would happen if we lost him. But as you know, that's me all over when these things happen, all paranoia and no confidence at all!

It's really soothing just to sit here and write at my leisurely pace, without being hurried because I've got somewhere to go or something to do. As you know, there've been a couple of rescues lately, (one where I was the center of attention, unfortunately) but most of the time I've spent on the beach, just watching the ocean.

We were really close as kids, remember? You were born only a year after me, and I felt like your protector, especially after Mom died when you were five.

We had a lot of fun when Mom was around, didn't we? I'm not saying we didn't have fun after she died – we did – but when she was around, everything was different, wasn't it?

She always made up great games for us to play. I don't know how she and Dad got any time to themselves with us three around – and when Gordon was born.

I hope I'm not upsetting you, Johnny, with all this talk about Mom. I know you were really close to her.

I always wanted to chat about her, but I was always so afraid of upsetting Dad. For the first time since she died, Dad mentioned her to me the other day. In fact, he told me I was just like her.

I really look forward to coming home from my operation and having you lot wait around on me (and Scott) for a few weeks. It'll sure make a change from the other way round!

Love you, Johnny. See you soon.

With love, as always,

Virgil."

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"Dear Alan,

I felt I needed to write to you next.

It's two weeks before my transplant while I'm writing this.

It's a terrible strain, all this waiting, hanging around, just wishing the day would hurry up and come so we can get over with and get back to normal.

Ah, Alan. The wild guy of the family. Seriously, the stories I've heard are unbelievable! For shame, boy!

Oh dear. I hope I haven't got you into a strop, Al! I was only joking!

I haven't been up to much these past few days; just writing these letters and sitting on the beach really.

Thinking.

The other day I was thinking about Mom. I'm really sorry you never got to meet her, Al. She only saw you for a little while but even then she adored you. Even at six years old, I could recognize that.

As with all of us, Mom hoped you'd be a girl. But all she did was look at those lovely baby blue eyes, and, even in her condition, fell in love with you instantly.

I know there's an issue because she died during your birth. I know that every year on your birthday, everybody is always miserable and it can't feel like a birthday at all.

I'm sorry.

But someone else is helping to heal that hurting heart of yours, aren't they, Alan?

Someone who adores you, and who you adore equally, but have never once tried to commit to, always using International Rescue as an excuse.

That someone is Tin-Tin.

Alan, you're wasting time. You don't realize how precious life is until you dice with death.

You and Tin-Tin are made for each other. Please don't waste any more time hesitating.

You're throwing away more and more of those precious moments together.

Alan, you're someone to be proud of. You've grown up and turned out OK, if a little moody. (Sorry, sorry!)

You're special to all of us, Alan. We all love you.

With love, as always,

Virgil."

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"Dear Scott,

You're the next person I wanted to write to...or should I say victim?

You've probably noticed how quiet I've been for the last two weeks. I'm usually quiet anyway, but lately I've hardly uttered two words, even to you.

I'm so grateful for what you've decided to do for me, Scott. It's a debt I'll probably never get the chance to repay. Once you've lost a kidney to me, you'll have to be more careful when we're out on rescues.

That means not so much of the "daring hero" act, Scott!

I know I've been moody lately, Scott. I've bitten yours and Dad's head off more than once and I practically made Tin-Tin cry.

I'm sorry, Scott. I've felt really stressed over this operation and I feel like exploding!

I told Dad that the other week. You know, when you said I should apologize to him for storming out of the dining room.

He said I was "just like my mother".

It's the first time he's mentioned her to me in twenty-two years, and I wondered, is this a breakthrough? Will we finally be able to talk about Mom without getting over-upset?

You're just like Dad, Scott. Whenever something goes wrong, or you feel bad, you bottle it up. You don't really have an outlet. Well, apart from the gym.

But don't you ever want to talk? I've tried asking you that vocally but you always just shake your head and brush me off.

But now you can't brush me off, can you? Well, you can always stop reading, I suppose, but you don't REALLY want to do that, do you?

I've been writing letters to everyone, but yours is possibly the longest yet. I bet you're asleep reading it.

I'll say it again, Scott. I'll always be grateful for what you're doing for me.

With Love, as always,

Virgil."

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"Dear Gordon,

You're next on my list of victims!

You're the joker of the family, Gordo. You've got the best sense of humor of all of us, and probably the least brain cells. (Sorry Gordo! Joking, joking.)

Seriously, though, I'm writing letters to every member of the family, as something to pass the time in the lead up to this transplant.

Then when I come home, you'll all have read them and can have some great fun making fun of me...that is, while you wait around on me and Scott.

Every letter I've written so far mentions Mom. You don't really remember her, do you, Gords? You were just over a year old when she left us.

You knew who she was at the time, though. All you did was sit up and yell "MAMA!" after she died. You missed her, even if you were a baby.

I've got some photos of her in my room. They're right at the back of the closet, on the top shelf, so if you ever want to have a look, the offer's always open.

Just don't barge in without knocking!

Gordon, I want to thank you as well.

I know you were as prepared as Scott to give your kidney to me and I'll always be grateful for that.

But you've had enough trauma already, what with your hydrofoil accident a few years back.

We nearly lost you then.

The whole family's still in shock that you made it.

Every time I see you, I think about that time. We won't ever take you for granted, Gords.

Well, I won't.

With Love, as always,

Virgil."

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"Dear Tin-Tin,

The very first thing I want to say to you is how sorry I am about the other day.

I didn't mean to snap at you. I know you were hurt and close to tears.

I've been very snappy lately. I keep biting off people's heads and then immediately regretting it.

I know you were trying to help, Tin-Tin. I regret my shouting at you. You didn't deserve it and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't speak to me for a whole year!

I'm sitting here, trying to think of the right words to say to you. This is about the third time I've tried to write your letter!

Tin-Tin. What I really want to tell you about is Alan. Not that you need telling, that is!

I'm making a right mess of this.

Tin-Tin...stop wasting time. You and Alan obviously want to get it together and you are both letting International Rescue stand in your way.

Life is precious and you could be letting good times pass you by.

Anyway enough of this stuff. Just think about it, OK?

Tin-Tin, you are a valued member of International Rescue and you are like a little sister to me. A sister I always wanted, but never had. Until you joined the family. I love you like a sister. Dad loves you too, even though he'd never say so. So that's just between us, OK?

Well, I better close for now, I guess my letter's kinda going on a bit!

With Love, as always,

Virgil. xx."

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"Dear Kyrano,

You've been living with our family for years now, yet we never have had much time to chat.

You're always busy in the kitchen with my Grandma, or doing some form of chores.

Yet you are still a valued member of our family. I remember after the Sentinel shot down Thunderbird Two by mistake. I was practically bedridden – something I hate - but you kept my spirits up, bringing my meals bang on time every day, and standing around talking as you straightened my room. I have to say, Kyrano, my room has never looked tidier and it never will again!

You must be really proud of Tin-Tin. She is a very talented girl and highly clever, but a lot of fun all at the same time.

Kyrano, I value you and your daughter just as much as anyone in this family who bears the Tracy name.

Thank you for all you've done.

With love from

Virgil."

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"Dear Grandma,

I thought I'd better write you a letter too, since I am your favorite grandson (ahem).

I'm still feeling a little stressed at the moment, what with everything happening next week.

You've been trying to spoil me lately, Grandma, I know you have. You've been whipping up all sorts of delicious goodies in the kitchen that don't contain much sugar, as you're worried I'll have one of my "attacks."

Well, Grandma, those goodies were wonderful, and I wonder if there'll be any more around soon... (joke, joke)

I know you're very worried about what's happening to me, just like everyone else.

I also know you're trying to hide it, so as not to worry me.

Well, Grandma, you're doing a mighty fine job so far and even I believed you.. for a while.

You're so brave, Grandma. You coped so well with the strain when Mom died, and you and Dad did a great job of bringing us kids up and turning us into decent people.

Grandma, you know secrets about me and my brothers that no-one knows. You've never told Dad any of them and you've saved us a lot of trouble over it!

I wonder if you'll be waiting on me and Scott hand and foot when we come home?

No, I expect you'll be hurrying us to get up and get better rather than let us mope around all day!

I love you, Grandma.

All my love,

Virgil. xxxx."

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"Dear Brains,

You're another person I have to write to before I have my operation.

I hardly ever see you, as you're always in the lab busy with some new experiment.

But you're valued as a member of this family. Underneath your quiet exterior, you've got a good sense of humor.

You are a very much appreciated member of International Rescue and have helped me out on many a difficult occasion!

Like the time when the KLF pirate satellite was magnetically sealed to Thunderbird Two.

It was dragging us down towards that infirmary. You were the one to keep me calm when, for once, I panicked on a rescue.

You were reassuring to me on the way home after we thought O'Chea had been killed.

Thanks, Brains. For everything.

With Love from

Virgil."

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Dear Dad,

I don't know what to write.

I've written letters like this to everyone. They'll all have a great time laughing at me when I'm home.

The other letters weren't easy to write, but in comparison to this one, they seem easy. As I seal down each envelope, something tugs inside. If I was a romantic, I'd say something was "pulling at my heartstrings".

This letter I am writing to you now is doing just that.

I can't believe how calm everyone seems about this operation. I actually feel panicky and nervous. Every day I sit on the beach, turning things over in my mind.

Obviously I've thought about dying.

I'm sorry, Dad, but sometimes I can't help thinking like that.

Anyway, what this letter was SUPPOSED to be about how I feel about you and our family life, not about the transplant.

You were so brave after Mom died. I've yet to meet anyone who was as brave as you about it. You made sure us kids had a good upbringing and were well looked after.

I know you find it so hard to talk to anyone about Mom and it felt wonderful when you told I was "just like my mother" a couple of weeks ago. It was beautiful just to hear you say something about Mom. I've always wanted to talk to you about her, but I figure you were just too upset about it all. And who can blame you, Dad?

I know you worked really hard to get your business off the ground. But I still wish we'd all spent more quality time together when us boys were young.

But you've given us a good quality of life and a happy home to live in.

I enjoyed my childhood and all of us boys look up to you in a way you can't imagine.

I know love in our family isn't often shown physically, with hugs and things like that. Just sometimes I wish they were. I know the love is there, Dad – but I'd still like to hear it.

So, I'll be the first person to start breaking that barrier:

I love you, Dad.

All my love,

Virgil. xx."

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End Note: I told you it was different! I hope you have all been moved/touched, especially by the letter to Jeff. Am I the only person who really likes him on this site? He's my favourite character, actually...closely followed by Virgil. My aim was also to make Jeff out to be more than a workaholic and someone who has trouble with his emotions (though I agree, he DOES), and more like the loving father I see him as. I enjoyed writing this chapter very much. It's my favourite so far. Hope I didn't do too bad with American spellings etc! Chapter 11 coming soon...