Whom among us, part eleven

Author: Chris Kenworthy

Email: Chris_Kenworthy@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: No, I don't own any of the Roswell characters. I don't plan to steal them and lock them up in white rooms either. ;-) I just let them out to play from time to time and see what happens.

Distribution: Distribute anywhere you like, now based at http://www.fanfiction.net/~chriskenworthy

Feedback: YES PLEASE!

Category: Roswell future-fic

Rating: PG

Summary: Liz's life changes when, as a university junior, she runs into Max again.

Spoilers: Up to 'end of the world,' kinda

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Alex sat in the back of Michael's RV as it sped down the highway towards the New Mexico border. Towards Roswell. Somehow that name still affected him, even though it seemed like everyone he associated with Roswell had been there in Arizona, except for Maria... and his parents, of course. Roswell was where everything he'd been avoiding for years had happened... it was where he'd spent his teenage years, and where his life had become something both better and worse than 'ordinary' for a few months. How he felt about returning he couldn't even tell.

"Hey... play something!" someone called out. Dimly, Alex realized it was the alien hybrid he'd heard called 'Davin.' It was only then that Alex really clued in that he was still holding his trusty bass guitar across his lap.

"What?" he asked, feeling stupid as soon as the word was out of his mouth.

"That's your instrument, isn't it?" the alien asked. "Play us a tune!! A long journey with no time to stop chills the heart and numbs the soul. A little music will be good for what ails me."

Alex couldn't help but smile. "Okay." He clipped the shoulder strap back around his body and tuned the bass' strings with the ease of long practice, then set it back across the lap and began to play, not even sure what would come out.

A strong, up-tempo harmony filled the vehicle... now where the heck had he heard this and filed it away into his subconscious? Ahh, yep. As Alex's brain made the connection, he realized his voice was starting to give words to the first verse...

"After all this time, I guess I finally made it through...

All the darkness, to the point of being over you.

Now and then my mind runs into your old memory,

But it ain't quite as big a deal as it used to be;"

Kyle, Tess, and Kenner were all watching and listening to him play by now... Ardra had even woken up, but they seemed to be enjoying it, so Alex threw himself into the upswing for the chorus:

"Now I KNOW-OW-ow,

Even though - you're not here,

You will never be too - far away.

Any-WHERE-ERE-ere,

You'll be there, like a whisper inside me

Each and every day.

If I win or I lose... ....

You will always play a small part

Like a *fla=ame*... you'll remain,

In your own little corner of my heart.

I thought every kiss you gave me,

Time would just erase...

I waited for the day

They'd disappear without a trace.

Finally I realize, that even though you're gone

There'll always be an ember of you,

Burning on and on!"

As Alex led back into the second chorus, some of the others were joining in too, he couldn't quite tell who was singing and who wasn't, but it was a great feeling.

"Now I KNOW-OW-ow,

Even though - you're not here,

You will never be too - far away.

Any-WHERE-ERE-ere,

You'll be there, like a whisper inside me

Each and every day.

If I win or I lose... (if I win or I lose,)

You will always play a small part

Like a *fla=ame*... you'll remain,

In your own little corner of my heart."

Rather than lead into the instrumental, Alex got creative and medley-d his way into a completely different song, a haunting melody starting to fill the vehicle.

"Cutting through the darkest night,

Are my two headlights...

Trying to keep it clear, but I'm losin' it here,

To the twilight.

There's a dead end to my left, there's a burning bush -

To my right,

But you aren't in sight...

You aren't in sight..."

Kyle and Ardra apparently knew the tune, because they started humming along as Alex headed into the bridge.

"Do -- you -- want -- me??

Like -- I -- want you?

Or am I standing still?

Beneath the darkened sky.

Or am I standing still??

With the scenery flyin' by...

Am I standing still?!

Out of the corner of my eye,

Was that you -- passing me by??"

Alex turned a little so he could face forwards towards the direction the RV was going in as the second verse began.

"Mothers on the stoop,

Boys in souped-up coupes,

On this hot summer night.

Between 'fight' and 'flight'

Is the blind man's sight,

And the choice that's right."

Alex almost forgot the words when he noticed something in the momentary shine of a highway streetlamp. In the shotgun seat, Isabel's face was in profile. Had she been listening too??

"I, uh, I pull the window down,

Feel like I - I'm gonna drown

In this strange town.

Feel broken down...

I feel broken down.

Do -- you -- need me??

Like -- I -- need you?"

Why should it matter if Isabel was listening to these songs? Somehow it did, though, as if something very deep and personal was being exposed here, but only Isabel could see it. (Which would kinda make sense, given her powers.) Not that the notion of letting Isabel see his secrets was a bad feeling, just... unexpected.

"Or am I standing still?

Beneath the darkened sky.

Or am I standing still??

With the scenery flyin' by...

Or am I standing still?!

Out of the corner of my eye -

Was that you... ah, passing me by??

Ah, sweet sorrow, she said 'call tomorrow.'

Sweet sorrow, she said 'Call tomorrow!'

Do -- you -- love me?

Like -- I -- love you?"

Hmm... how long before he could make a break away from this and get to the third song in the medley? (All good medleys had at least three songs.)

"Am I standing still?

Beneath the darkened sky.

Am I standing still??

With the scenery flyin' by..."

(It would have to be at the end of this chorus, no sooner, darnit.)

"Or am I standing still?!

Out of the corner of my eye -

Was that you... ah, passing me by??"

(Bass riff fades to almost silence... and then morphs into something considerably more mellow and folksy.)

"Hey Mona Lisa - who was Leonardo?

Was he Andy Warhol?? Were you Marilyn Monroe???

Hey, Mozart! What kinda name is 'Amadeus'?

It's kinda like Elvis... you gotta die to be famous!!"

Looking back up towards Isabel... it almost seemed to Alex that he could read *her* thoughts.

"I may not go down in history...

I just want someone, to remeber me.

I'll probably never hold a brush that paints a masterpiece.

I'll prob-ly never find a pen that writes a symphony.

But if I will love, then I will find,

That I have touched another life, and that's something.

Something worth leaving behind.

Hey, Midas; They say you had the magic touch,

But even all that shiny stuff,

Someday it's gonna turn to dust.

Hey Jesus!! Musta been some sunday morning.

In a blaze of glory!!

We're still tellin' your story.

I may not go down in history.

I just want someone to remember me."

Isabel stood up from the front seat and stepped back into the living area.

"I'll prob-ly never dream a dream, and watch it turn to gold.

I know I'll never lose my life to save another soul.

But if I will love, then I will find,

That I have touched another life, and that's something.

Something worth leaving behind.,."

As he headed into the instrumental solo, it suddenly dawned on Alex that he had no idea how to finish. The final bridge to the song was so horrendously inappropriate that he doubted he could even force his lips to say the words, with Isabel right there. Finally, he just worked up a few flourishing chords to the guitar and tried to end it like that. There was silence for a few seconds.

"Interesting choice," Kenner whispered softly.

"Nice picks, Alex," Tess told him.

"Okay, show's over," he laughed, putting his guitar back into the case. "I wanna try to get some sleep."

"Alex?" Isabel said softly, capturing his attention like a gunshot. "Could I talk to you alone before you turn in?"

"You can try," he joked faintly. "There's not a whole lot of 'alone' to go around in this car." Isabel smiled slightly in agreement, and in about a minute they were sitting in the back with at least the illusion of a shred of privacy.

"Were you trying to tell me something?" Isabel asked softly. "With those choice of songs?"

Alex knew what she meant. Carrying a piece of someone you loved in your heart forever, love lost, and making a legacy... all three were concepts that touched on the idea of Isabel mind-linking with him before she left him forever. "Not really. I pulled those tunes out of the thin air, though there could be a connection through my subconscious mind."

"Oh," Isabel said softly.

"What I have to tell you, I'll tell you straight out without any hidden messages," Alex continued. "I want to do this, for my own sake and more importantly as something that I can do for you. I don't get why you're being so skittish about letting me go through with it."

"I think you do," Isabel told him quietly. "If you stick by that choice, I won't refuse to take you up on your offer. But I'm going to give you a little bit longer to think about it, okay??"

"Fine, whatever," Alex agreed with a smile. "A day, or a week, isn't going to affect my decision." He smiled at her. "You know, I wasn't killing when I said I could do with some sleep."

Isabel grinned. "Allow me?"

Alex blinked. "You can do that??"

"A little trick I've picked up along the way, yeah. Are you ready to go to bed?"

Alex looked down at himself and shrugged. "Yeah, whatever. It's not like I need to be in my jammie-jams first."

Isabel smiled at him, and Alex knew no more.

* * * *

About twelve seconds further on down the road, Max drove on in silence. Liz peered back into the rear seat. Bentor was sleeping quietly. **It's probably tiring for such an old soul to keep up with the rest of these guys, even though he's in a thirtysomething body.** Liz sighed to herself.

"There's... there's a few things I was wanting to talk to you about," Max said softly, not moving his eyes from the road ahead.

"Uh... oh!" Liz replied quietly, squelching the urge to check around and see if there was anyone else that Max could be talking to besides her. "Umm... like what??"

Max sighed. "I hardly know where to start... everything in my mind seems so confused. Maybe I should begin by apologizing for bringing you into things this time. You would have been better off if I hadn't asked you for your help."

"Are you prepared to face the possibility of not finding this thing??" Liz countered. "Because without me, you wouldn't have had a chance. I'm happy to help, Max, really I am."

"We might have figured out how to use the Granilith without you," Max pointed out in defense of his team.

"Would you know how to use the information we hope to get from it?" Liz argued back. "Bentor knows some of the theory, but he's not good enough to build a trajectory on his own from that kind of data. The rest of you would be no help. Besides, without me you wouldn't have even gotten the basic low-down on this Lightning Bolt thingee. You'd probably have gotten into trouble with campus security for sneaking around the astronomy labs in the dead of night while everybody was around, and then..."

"Liz!" Max said, cutting her off. Liz stopped her ramble and stared over at Max.

"Yeah?"

"What would or wouldn't have happened without you here... that isn't really the point, is it??"

Liz sighed. "I guess not. Then what is."

"I..." Max growled in frustration at himself. "Why is it so difficult for me to say out loud what we're both thinking about? I know how hard this must be for you, Liz. Because... because I'm with Tess now."

Hearing Max say the words so bluntly hit Liz like a wave of ice. Sitting there in the front seat, she found a part of her mind focusing on the song that was softly playing on the radio. ("Looking back, over the years... on all the things I've always meant to say...")

"And... and what about you, Max?" she forced herself to say in what seemed like a shaky voice. "Is it hard for you?? To run into me again and remember the old days? For me to tell you about the guys I've been dating at university? Seeing Pete kiss me??"

("But the words didn't come easily. So many times, through empty tears...")

"It's... is that really the point?" Max asked softly.

"Just answer the damn question!"

("To all the nights I tried, to pick up the phone -- so scared of who might be answering...")

"Okay, you want an answer??" Max muttered. "It's been difficult, yes. You were a chapter in my life that never really got closed, and so it throws me off balance."

("You try, to live your life, from day to day. But seeing you across the room tonight -- just gives me away.")

"But Tess is your future, right?" Liz pressed bitterly. "She's your destiny, and your present. I'm just a loose end from your past that never really got tied up neatly, and it bothers you."

("'Cause the heart won't lie.... Sometimes life gets in the way.")

"Not just my past," Max insisted. "I mean, maybe not, if we don't let ourselves be that to each other. I felt something hit me, Liz, from the first time I saw you back in Tempe." He swatted his sternum demonstratively with a free hand. ("But there's one thing that won't change, I know... I've tried. The heart won't lie...") "*I missed you, Liz*" He enunciated each sound in the phrase clearly. "Not just like an old friend I've grown apart from. Seeing you so suddenly was like a part of my life that's been empty for years just, all of a sudden came back. And I don't want to lose it again."

("You can live your alibis... Who can see you're lost inside a foolish disguise??")

"What are you asking me, Max??" Liz said dully, knowing not to get her hopes up too high.

("The heart won't lie...")

"Can't you feel it too, Liz??" Max asked. "When this is all over... we can't go back to our seperate lives again. We need to stay in touch... stay CONNECTED... I'm not sure of the details yet. Maybe we can find a place to stay near Tempe until you're finished your degree..."

("Long after tonight... Will you still hear my voice on the radio??")

"I dunno, aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself, Max??" Liz replied with a humorless chuckle. "I... I *do* feel what you're talking about, but you're also right that it's *hard*. Hard to see you sharing your life with Tess, in the way that I used to think I would... and now I know I never will. I'm not sure if I wanna sign myself up for a regular dose of that." She laughed again, trying to take the edge off what she was saying, and not succeeding very well. ("Long after tonight, after the fire, after the scattered ashes fly...") "Plus... are you sure you can make plans to come back to Arizona? Maybe when we find this capsule, it'll bring news that you're needed back on your home planet, and tell you how to get there. I'm not about to pick up and move to an alien planet, I'll have you know Max. Maybe once... but definitely not now."

("...Through the four winds blown, and gone, will you come back to me?")

"I guess that's fair enough," Max said, and he reached out and touched Liz's fingers slightly, and that simple contact was like a surge of heat rushing through her body. Could he feel it too? For an instant, Liz thought she had a flash, of that moment in the Crashdown where Max had said he would be coming for her. But she wasn't sure.

("You try, to live your life, from day to day. But seeing you across the room tonight -- just takes me away-ay.")

"How... how long until Roswell?" she mumbled vaguely.

"Umm..." Max looked at the odometer. "Another three hours or so. You wanna see if you can get any sleep?"

"Nah, I'm not tired," Liz sighed, and started staring out the window at the nighttime landscape beyond.

("'Cause the heart won't lie...")

"Umm... Max?" Liz asked, not looking away from the window

"Yes Liz?"

"Being with Tess..." Liz paused a moment to actually deal with putting the thought into words. "Does... does she really make you happy?"

("... Sometimes life gets in the way... but there's one thing that won't change,")

"Yeah, yeah, she does," Max assured her.

"Then I'm happy for you," Liz heard her own voice say.

("... I know, I've tried...")

* * * *

Around a planet known to its people as Ishzkver, more or less... not far distant in the galactic scheme of things, circled a small, dead, airless moon. Within a crystallized dome on this moon, Ishzkver 4, a being sat and patiently watched a device on which he could monitor real-time transmissions from a probe.

He had travelled far, unimaginably far, over the past few [years], and had further yet to go. And yet, try as he might, he had been unable to find a way to make the relatively short side trip to Earth physically, as he would have liked to. This probe would have to serve as his proxy...

Another being entered the dome - a Zxygahtsien, one of the species that inhabited the planet below, who had built this structure, like dozens more upon the same moon, and permitted him the use of it. #Yes?# our friend inquired of the visitor, using an artificial device to convey the message in the Zxygahtsien mode -- which involved no sound, only symbolic patterns of color.

#Most humble apologies, your G--#, the native flashed, using his body to respond to the color patterns our friend had shown on an artificial display screen. From previous experience the traveller could understand these patterns, but was physiologically unable to generate them himself.

#Just Sanren,# our friend interrupted with his screen. #I am only a living creature, now, with no honors that you or the least of your people are not equally entitled to claim.#

#Sanren,# the other began again without comment. #Humblest of apologies, but I intruded only to inquire if there was anything else your gr...# He caught himself just in time. #...if there is anything else you require.# For long moments Sanren did not move to program another flash. #All our people are most sincerely grateful for your assistance, Sanren.#

#It was a fair trade,# Sanren replied. #For the probe you launched for me, the technology it carries, the use of this installation...#

#It was not,# the native countered. #These things are a poor recompense for all that you have done.#

#Then you are quite welcome,# he flashed, weary of arguing against native courtesy. #But for the next three revolutions of your planet, I require nothing other than to left alone in this place. Then I will leave your people and continue on my journey, our mutual debts cancelled out.

#As your honor wishes. My apologies.#

#It's alright,# Sanren flashed with a smile, even though his facial expressions generally meant little or nothing to the Zxygahtsien. His courteous host bowed in the manner of his people and slithered backwards out of the dome.

Sanren sighed and watched his readouts once again. Soon, the probe would land upon the surface of planet Earth. Then, Sanren would face the moment of truth.

Would he find the family that he had lost so long ago -- find it on this curiously backwards world?? The odds were easily thousands or tens of thousands to one against them being able to find the probe before Sanren had to leave.

But he was nothing if not a creature of hope.

TO BE CONTINUED...