DISCLAIMER: Still not mine, Serenity and her crew belong to Mutant Enemy and Fox ……( Arrrghhh Fox!!!! Is there any good show you guys don´t cancel???   Like DARK ANGEL ……ah no sorry …or FASTLANE …….ah yep, forgot …that one got cancelled too!)

NOTES : Buhuuuuu to the cancellation of Fastlane and John Doe …..well at least it seems that we might actually get to see  a FIREFLY- MOVIE ……..YEAY!!!

Thanks for the feedback ……..hope you still enjoy …..I still plans for all these people so don´t worry!!!

INTO THE VOID

„ So this is what you want us to do, Sir?" Zoë asked again, just to be clear.

She had understood the captain well enough; she just needed him to say it again, so that she could believe it.

" Right ….nothing, we do nothing! We wait …."

Malcolm Reynolds knew it was unlike him to just play sitting duck and wait …….but it was all they could do. He only wished  he  knew what he was waiting for…..

Zoë, sitting across from him at the table held his gaze for a moment, before she rose to get herself another cup of tea.

They had done nothing but wait for the last 40 hours and the majority of the crew was growing more and more troubled by the hour.

Simon took turns in blaming himself, then Jayne or the captain for what was happening. He wanted them to search for his sister, something that Zoë would have supported……if only they knew where she was headed.

" We cannot stay here forever, Sir. We´ll run out of gas sooner or later…"

" I know that." Mal told her.

A part of him consented with her, there was no plan, no strategy in what they were doing.

" But we can´t just abandon her. I´m pretty sure she´ll contact us once she …."

" You really think she´ll try to deal with the Reavers all by herself?"

Mal  took a sip of his tea, staring at Zoë over the rim of his cup.

" Pretty sure …."

"Then how do we know she´s still alive?"  She did not like to be the one to ask this question, but it needed to be asked nonetheless. Zoë was just glad that they were the only ones sitting in the mass in the middle of what seemed to be another endless night.

" Well…." Mal answered uncomfortably " …so far they haven´t come to knock on our door, have they?"

" You think she´ll survive them?"

" The girl survived the alliance, that´s what I know……and she came up with a pretty nifty plan to surprise us! She´s good ……but I don´t know ……from what she told me in that dream she intended to come back. She seemed more worried about that other thing in her head than the Reavers."

" So we wait …" Zoë repeated.

" Yes."

" But for how long?"

" Until we need to take up more gas …if that´s what it takes."

He looked at her earnestly.

" I cannot leave her behind Zoë, she´s part of this crew now."

" I know." She said with a sad, knowing smile.

 He´d been like this in the war……..leave no man behind, that was Malcolm Reynolds. It was one of the reasons why she´d follow him into hell and back if necessary.

" There´s something else captain …."

Mal cocked an eyebrow at her. He knew what she meant, but he didn´t like the thought that he needed to take care of it.

" Somebody needs to talk to Jayne, Sir."

He was in the cargo-bay……again. It was all he seemed to do lately, working out to take his mind of all the thoughts racing through his head. He didn´t want to think……think about their situation, about what happened…….think about her.

Gorramit!!

He had been pumping iron for more than an hour, his whole body aching, drenched in sweat.

He still could not believe what she had done …..it drove him insane. The thought of her ….alone , out there …..facing ….

Ruddin´ hell! He had known she´d be the death of him…….

Jayne Cobb would never admit it….he could not even admit it to himself, but since she was gone he felt like someone had ripped the heart from his chest; ripped it out clean and good and all that was left now was this emptiness that could not be filled.

River Tam had gotten to him the way no person had ever gotten to him before…..he had let his guard down with her.

And look where that had got him …….ruddin´ hell!

What really drove him crazy was that there was nothing he could do …nothing.

" How´re you doin´?"

Jayne put the weights down carefully, staring at Mal as he descended the stairs.

" Watcha´want…. ?" he growled, wiping the sweat of his forehead.

" We need to talk!"

" ´bout what?"

Mal folded his arms in front of his chest and looked at the tall mercenary in a disapproving manner.

" About what´s going on with you …….you hardly talk to anyone, you don´t eat with us ….all you do is ….this." Mal gestured towards the bench-press and the weights.

" You are not the only one who´s  feeling miserable about all this."

Jayne rose from  the bench, reaching for a towel. He gave Mal a derisive snort.

" Oh Yeah? I don´t remember you being drugged by your gir……..by her …."

" So that´s what´s bugging you?"

" No …..it´s not bugging me!" Jayne exploded.

" It´s driving me insane…….her being out there …..doing god knows what! There´s nothing I can ruddin ´ do here, Mal! It´s not supposed to be this way…….she´s a little  girl after all! She should not be facing  those gorram´ monsters all by herself! The thought of them makes my ruddin´ blood freeze……..and I have seen a lot of bad things in my time! I can´t believe she´d just ……do this …"

Mal took Jayne´s reaction in, squinting at him.

" Right there with ´ya , you know that! I don´t like this any more than you do and that´s why she pulled this off…….she knew we would never let her have her way!"

Jayne shook his head.

" I can´t believe she´d not tell me …..she drugged me, Mal! That tiny slip of a girl drugged me, took the shuttle ……."

" I thought part of the attraction was that River was not the little girl she seemed to be." Mal interrupted him. " That she knew about weapons and ….."

Jayne grinned involuntarily, remembering her tiny hands dismember Vera ………

…. slender fingers crawling up his arms, her pale, smooth skin moving over his ….

Mal was right in a way….there were distinctive moments when he´d been aware that River was in no way a little girl ……..otherwise he would not have taken here into his bed, had not allowed  himself to be seduced by her ………in all her glory and her straightforwardness.

……her warm, smiling lips yielding to his kiss, his hands encompassing her slim waist moving upwards to  her delicate shoulders ….her dainty neck….

He shook his head again to clear his mind. The memory was like a dull ache in his chest.

" She´s still a girl, Mal, human despite of all the gorram ´stuff……a girl that could be hurt. She´s tougher than she seems but……..she´s so ruddin´fragile when you look at her …….she should not be out there, thinking she needs to take care of things."

" She knows us pretty well, doesn´t she?" Mal commented thoughtfully.

" Creeps into your gorram´mind, that´s what she does. Sees right through everything ……."

Mal raised on eyebrow at the other man.

" And still she choose to be with you……says something about you, don´t you think?"

Jayne furrowed up his brow, returning the captain´s intense stare.

" What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

" She trusted you…….knew all about you, who you are, what you did …..and she embraced all of it. Now that´s quite a scary thought if you ask me! River was drawn to you, even after you tried to betray her and Simon. She saw you for what you are, Jayne ……the man who after all wants to protect her, even if it meant protecting her from her own actions. That´s why she drugged you."

…..her faint laughter, like the sound of little, silvery bells, her dark eyes closed, her head thrown back, her soft  hair fanned out on his pillow …..he could almost feel her warm, silky skin under his fingers…….

" That gorram ´girl ….." Jayne cursed, shaking his head again. He felt embarrassed like he had never been before in his life………he had barely talked about his feelings with River…. Exposing them in front of Mal was not something he was keen on doing.

……her voice, whispering through the sickening mist the drug was weaving around his mind ….. no power in the ´verse, remember?

" I once told her that I wouldn´t go and slay her ruddin´demons for her ……now I wish I could. This is not the way it´s supposed to be, Mal…….she should not be out there in order to protect us, we should be protecting her."

There was nothing Malcolm Reynolds could answer……he couldn´t agree more. So they both just stood there, staring out of the airlock into space with grim expressions on their faces.

Jayne felt his hands curl into fists around the ends of his towel.

„ They have found us."

" I know!" River whispered, opening her eyes. The other thing was nowhere to be seen, but she knew it was there ……she had heard it´s voice ….her voice.

She closed her eyes again, trying to give her breathing a calming rhythm. She whished that she could go to her safe place now, but she knew she that was not possible … not now.

There were other things to consider…..she needed a place where they both could meet.

When she opened her eyes this time she was kneeling on a Japanese bridge, leading over a slowly flowing stream. The whole garden around her was intended to resemble a Japanese park …..River sighed.

 It was beautiful and serene here …..she even found herself wearing a kimono, a white, soft kimono with long arms that almost covered her hands. She smiled bitterly ……white, the Japanese colour for mourning…….for grief.

To her right side, next to where she was kneeling lay a long sword in  it´s black lacquered sheath.

River bowed her head, letting her hair fall over her face.

" This is a beautiful place ….."  She could hear her own voice whisper eerily all around her.

 " You know this place, don´t you ….you created it from your own memory. You have been here before!"

" A long time ago." River answered.

" Me and Simon used to play here ……my father took us to this park at one of his friend´s houses."

She could feel the other thing approaching, like cold breeze and looked up to find it at the end of the bridge. It looked like a perfect replica of her.

For a moment they just stared at each other, before  it started moving towards her slowly.

" They have found us." It reminded her again.

" Just like you knew they would ……now we are all that stands in their path."

It looked down on her with it´s sharp, cunning eyes it´s head tilted sideways.

" Are you afraid?"

River returned the stare with defiance, but she knew there was no use in lying ….they were both here, inside her mind.

This was not the safe place, this was common ground …there would be no lies here, no tricks, no secrets….

" Aren´t you?" she asked back.

The thing looked at her blankly, no emotion evident ……..it made River shiver to look into her own face, that was so devoid of any sentiment.

" I don´t know fear…or love, or grief." The thing stated flatly, giving River the travesty of a smile.

" I thought you knew that."

River nodded.

 Suddenly the thing rushed forward, hands outstretched as if to grab her.

In one smooth motion River jumped to her feet, unsheathing the sword.

" We are not done here!" she whispered towards the thing warningly.

" I did not mean to hurt you …..we cannot fight now, we need to be one."

For a split second the whole image of the garden shook as though there was an earthquake, they both looked up at the blue sky which was rapidly filling with dark clouds.

" They are here……hauling us in." River uttered, holding the sword at her side in one hand.

" Just like we planned."

The thing stood right in front of her now, close enough to touch her.

To River´s surprise it slowly held out his arms, enveloping her in an almost comforting but cold  embrace.

" Don´t worry sister…" it whispered into River´s ear.

" You have done enough……now it´s my turn!"

She felt it´s hand curl around her own on the handle of the sword. A violent jerk went through both of their bodies and River found herself in an empty room, the only light came from an open door.

" You´ll be safe here….." she heard the thing whisper with her voice as it took the gleaming sword from River´s hand.

It took a step backwards to look at her, caressing her cheek the way she herself had touched Jayne.

" You stay out of this now, little sister, and let me take care of them."

" Why ?"

For a moment, there was absolute clarity; a connection between them …….River could not perceive dishonesty in her mirror image, no secret plan to betray her …….yet.

" You are a girl, despite of everything you have done. You were never meant for this. I was created for this, made for this …… I´m a weapon of war, you said it yourself……stay here."

River stood in the middle of the empty room, watching the thing leave. At the door it turned around one last time, smiling that unsettling mockery of a smile again.

To River it looked more like the baring of teeth…..there was no joy in it, a total absence of anything that even resembled feeling.

River knew that the only thing the other one was able to feel was the unbreakable determination to survive ……at this moment, River knew she was using this resolve to her own advantage. She was using it to save and protect Serenity………when this was over, the other thing´s determination to survive, no matter how high the price, could be her undoing. River had known that from the moment she had entered into their truce. It was a risk she had to take…..

The other gave her one last look across the room.

" Reavers …." It said maliciously.

 " They have been predators their whole lives………now it´s time for them to see what it´s like to be the prey."

River returned the look, watching the door close, leaving her in the dark. The other thing was in control now ….she had unleashed it on her enemies……..

River shivered.

She only hoped that she would be able to stop it, before it unleashed itself on her friends.