Disclaimer: I only own the story that I'm applying to the characters that I don't own from the TV show that I also don't own.

AN: Once again thank you all so much for the feedback!!! You guys are great!!

Rory comes home from a long day of shopping with Lorelai. As she walks into her room to deposit her shopping bags, she let out a startled cry. Of course the package was exactly where she had left it, in the middle of her bed, but for a few blissful hours of shopping she had almost forgotten about the Jess situation, almost.

She had spent the past few days trying not to think about him, but everyday she caught glimpses of him at the diner, and everyday she moved the package between her desk and her bed, saying that would be the day she would return it. She hadn't yet returned it for two main reasons. The first one being that to return it she would have to go near him, speak to him even. The second reason was she was really curious. There was a part of her that still loved Jess and wanted to keep anything that had to do with him close to her. Of course trying to deny that fact was another reason she had yet to open it.

Lorelai had noticed the systematic moving of the package in Rory's room but decided it was best not to mention it. She knew that this was something that Rory had to deal with on her own, even though it killed her to stay quiet while Rory was going through such a hard time. She hadn't had any encounters with Jess yet, which she decided was a good thing since she didn't know what to say to him. Luke didn't seem to know anymore then they did. He only told her that Jess had been helping him out at the diner and that he appeared to have changed while he was away. He didn't really know how yet and he didn't know what Jess's plans were.

Rory takes a timid step toward the package. Sighing she picks it up and turns to put it in its alternate spot on the desk. Right before it drops from her hands she freezes.

"I can't do this anymore," she says to herself aloud. "Suck it up Gilmore either return it or open it."

'I think I've known all along I couldn't return it, at least before knowing what it is.' Full of determination, she begins to unwrap it.

"Rory?" Lorelai calls from the kitchen.

Her mothers voice breaking her concentration, she drops the package. "Yeah?" she calls back, not really wanting her mother to see that she's decided to open the package.

"Honey I'm going to the inn, Michel called and said that they need me. I'll try to be home early but no promises."

"Ok bye mom!"

'Oh god I hope this isn't breakable.' As soon as the door shuts she continues to open the package. Staring down, she lets out a small gasp.

**

All I Found Was You

By, Jess Mariano

** "Oh my god." It is a thick journal, his journal. On the inside of the front cover, she sees:

** Rory, This is my journal that I kept since I left Starshollow. It's going to be published! When I got the news I told them they had to hold off a couple months on the release, I wanted you to read it before anyone else. After all, without you, it wouldn't exist. I know this won't make up for what I did, and I know that there is no excuse for it, at least for the way I went about it, but maybe it will help you understand. Thank you for everything. Congratulations on Yale and being named valedictorian. I'm really proud of you!
Jess Mariano

** Rory collapsed on her bed and began to read. **

All I Found Was You

By Jess Mariano

Dedicated to Lorelai Leigh Gilmore. Rory thank you for having faith in me when no one else did. You are my inspiration, my guiding light. I could have never made it this far without you. I started this journey to find
myself and in the end all I found was you. I hope one day you'll
understand and forgive me.

** She swallowed hard and turned the page. **

Venice Beach- This place is different from anywhere I've ever been. It's different from the slums of New York City, where I grew up, and different from the safe, cozy town of Starshollow. It's got that small town feel, where everyone knows everyone, just without that same contentment and security. It's a place where you try to sell enough hot dogs or hemp hats too pay the rent and hopefully put a dinner on the table. It's full of desperation, and I am desperate.

I'm keeping this memoir because I'm here searching for something. Since I'm not sure exactly what that is, perhaps if I write all this down and I happen to find it, I won't miss it.

So here I am in a house that could best be described as barn-like, living with the father I never knew, Jimmy, his girlfriend, Sasha and her daughter, Lily. They act like kids, everybody here does. It's not like New York, where everyone was trying to find a way out of a bad situation. These people seem to have a very limited grasp of the concept of responsibility. I think I have just discovered Never Never Land.

I can see now why my father is here. Having a baby at such a young age would have been too much for someone like him. He can barely handle all of Sasha's stray dogs. As far as Lily goes, whenever an issue arises, he's quick to remind Sasha that it's her daughter.

Sasha doesn't seem too happy with my visit. When I got back to the house earlier this evening, I heard them arguing. Jimmy was promising that I'd only be there for a little while and then she let it slip that she was thinking about them planning their own kids, not having his rebellious teenage son show up. I hadn't known they were that serious and obviously neither did Jim because a huge fight ensued. Everything spilled out- "Where would we get the money. We don't have the room. etc." I decided to go back out for the night.

The nice thing about this place is the beach at night. Looking at the stars I can't help thinking about Starshollow. I lived there for about a year and a half with my Uncle Luke. He's probably the best adult figure I've had in my life so far, and our conversations rarely went beyond two sentences each. Yet still I think in many ways he understood me. I wish I had gone there earlier in my life, I'm sure a lot would be different right now.

Luke's a really good guy. He's not really what parents hope for their children to grow up into, but at the same time, if they did, I can't imagine anyone complaining. He's honest and hard working. He's also totally in love and in complete denial. When I left he was dating this lawyer girl. I can't even remember her name now- Nicole I think? Anyway, that's not the girl he's in love with, but maybe it will force him to admit it.

I've been spending a lot of time writing around someone. Her name is Rory Gilmore. She was the reason I should have stayed in Starshollow and also the reason I had to go. She is my reason for living. She is everything to me. When I came to Starshollow I was walking hatred. Everything I saw I pushed away. Everyone who spoke to me received a glare and a smart-ass reply. I was mad at everything and everyone. Then I saw her, and everything changed. I still wasn't ready to open up, wasn't ready to forgive. For some reason, she seemed to understand all of that. I never told her all that I had been through. I never even told her why I was sent there. None of this mattered, because we were soul mates. We had a connection that nobody else could understand. I never told her I was leaving. I didn't know how to explain it to her when I wasn't even sure why I was going. Being here is just something I have to do. I've tried to call her a few times since I've been here but every time I hear her voice I freeze. The last time I called she said she knew it was me. She said she had to move on. She said she wasn't going to pine.

She said she could have loved me.

This was her closure and I feel I should let her have that. I shouldn't call her anymore. The least I can do is allow her to move on with her life. It's just. Never mind I'm pining. I shouldn't. She's probably in Europe right now with her mom. Her mom, Lorelei, is the one that Luke's in love with. I guess it's a genetic weakness we have for those Gilmore Girls.