Disclaimer: Serenity and her crew all sprung from Joss Whedon´s brilliant  mind and belong to him and Fox………I grovel at his genius feet and hope he doesn´t mind me taking them out to play now and then!

NOTES:

Thank You again for the very kind feedback, I blush very appropriately when reading it……thank you!

The quotes in the first part of the story are from the beautiful Song " In your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel. Enjoy!!!

SALVAGE

The flashes came and went. River learned fast that there was no way for her to exercise any control over them. There were various things that would trigger them; a smell, a sound, a fleeting thought or the briefest touch of an object that had no significance to her.

But as fast as they came …visions of blurred noise and colour bleeding together …they left her even faster. Sometimes leaving her winded and disoriented.

River leaned to cover up their effects even faster. Nobody guessed anything…..she felt it.

There were times when she almost felt like hearing Kaylee ´s thoughts like a distant whisper in her mind.

She hated having to conceal this from her friend, the captain …even her own brother, but there were also times when she couldn´t shake the feeling that Simon was still watching her suspiciously.

River noticed it, only she didn´t comprehend. Simon thought he was being sneaky……that made River laugh under her breath.

She needed to find an explanation …..so as long as she couldn´t she kept to her silent, lonely strolls in the night, roaming the empty catwalks and corridors of Serenity like a ghost.

It was one of those nights that she encountered the grumpy mercenary. He came from the common-area, his eyes narrowing as he saw her coming towards him.

She could tell by the look on his reserved face that he was surprised to see her, surprised and annoyed at the same time. He didn´t say anything, speeding up his steps on the way to his cabin. A muscle in his face flinched  for a second as he tried his utmost to not acknowledge her presence.

She knew he didn´t like her brother and she also knew that Simon´s regard of this man was not too high either. River sometimes thought that was the reason why he didn´t seem to like her.

Jayne just nodded to her, his brows knit together.

Accepting all I´ve done and said

I want to stand and stare again

Till there´s nothing left

It remains there in your eyes

Whatever comes and goes

I will hear your silent call

As River walked by him in the corridor her shoulder accidentally brushed his arm for a split second. Something like an electric jolt went through her, forcing her to slow down and gasp under her breath. For the most minuscule moment she felt something incredibly familiar enveloping her like a warm breeze. A balmy tingle spread through her, tugging at her with irresistible force, but before River could focus on it, the feeling slipped from her grasp again.

And all my instincts

They return

And the grand façade

So soon will burn

Without a noise

Without my pride

I reach out from the inside

Very slowly, still hesitating a bit,  River turned her head slightly, in order to look over her shoulder at his retreating back only to find the tall, brusquely man to do the same.

His look hit her like a profound impact, the instant their eyes met for only a second…….everything faded away.

River felt as though she was frozen in time, nothing else existed but this moment whose implication she did not understand.

Jayne ground his teeth …that gorram´girl.

How could he have been thinking that she might be less trouble once she wouldn´t remember?

She still looked like some sort of fairy- princess, some pixie creature from a fantasy land with all that tangled tresses of dark hair, those ruddin´ flowing dresses that clung to her in all the right places, that pretty face and her eyes ……..those dark, haunting eyes…..

In your eyes

The light, the heat

In your eyes

I am complete

In your eyes

The resolution

In your eyes

I want to be back

In your eyes

I want to touch you like the heat I see

In your eyes

Jayne´s lips curled up in a slim line as he forced himself to turn away. The hatch to his bunk opened with a loud hiss and he climbed down the ladder, out of her sight.

Jumping over the last few steps, he pulled the hatch closed behind him. Moving his callused fingers  through his short hair, Jayne screwed his eyes shut and breathed deeply.

He still felt her enquiring look …..those ruddin´ eyes.

How could he even think that he might be able to forget the impact those eyes had?

It was a thought so ludicrous that for a moment Jayne felt the urge to laugh about himself.

That gorram´girl and her eyes ……eyes so dark and knowing, eyes that saw through everything so clearly that it had made Jayne weary from the start.

It wasn´t just that, he ruddin´well knew that……those eyes haunted him…….the thought of her haunted him.

He still thought she shouldn´t know what she must have one. Jayne had to admit that he didn´t really know what she had done, none of them did ……..but he had a pretty good idea.

He had seen her crazy …….still if he came clean with himself he knew that deep down inside of him, he wasn´t quite sure if he liked the girl better when she was sane.

There was still something eerie about her. Something that her ruddin´ brother obviously did not pick up on.

She was not ……his River, the girl he remembered. At the same time she was……there was still enough left of her. He had just felt it in the corridor …….there was something slumbering beneath the surface.

The mercenary, the skilled fighter inside of  him  dreaded that thought ……

No Power in the ´verse ……..

River stopped dead in her tracks, still staring at the spot where the mercenary had opened the hatch just a few seconds ago.

Suddenly River found it hard to breathe. She could her sharp intake of breath echoing from the walls of the corridor. For some time she just stood there caught in some kind of daze that she could not explain.

Very slowly she turned her head again, closing her eyes in silent concentration as she listened to the rhythm of her breathing, her heartbeat.

She waited …….but nothing happened. There was no flash……

River made an impatient frown.

What was happening to her? No matter how hard she searched her mind there was no explanation. It frustrated River beyond compare.

And there was nobody she could talk to ………she knew that now more indisputably then ever. Without a doubt in her mind River knew that sharing this piece of information with her brother would not lead to any clarification.

The thought made her heart ache …….

Sighing deeply she finally turned around towards her own cabin.

That night River had another dream……not a nightmare about the tests at the academy  and not one of the flashes either.

It was a real dream, but it unsettled her even more.

She found herself lying in an empty grey room. Blinking to improve her vision in the diffuse lighting as she sat up, it took her a little while to discern that she was not awake…..

She was sleeping, dreaming ….

Leaning on one of her hands River carefully looked around. It was a rather small, square room……empty except for her being there.

Her brows knit together slightly. River couldn´t recall to have seen this room before ….ever.

She had no memory of a room like this one, not in her parent´s house. It didn´t resemble any of the rooms she had seen in the academy- complex either, at least had she never been in a room like this when she had been conscious enough to remember.

Still……..there was the distinct feeling of familiarity again, the feeling that she could neither hold  on to nor shake off.

There were doors on each of the four walls though ……

Carefully River opened the first one, only to find it leading into a beautiful Japanese park with cherry-blossom trees being ruffled by a soft breeze. She could smell their sweet scent in the air …..it was an incredibly beautiful sight and River recognized the place immediately.

" The Roper´s park ……" she whispered, remembering mild summer evenings and picnics with her father´s friend and his family.

River shook her head in confusion, unable to understand why a door in her dream would lead to this park.

She slowly closed the door and turned to the one on the right.

The second door led to what seemed to be a striking pond situated at the edge of the forest. The water´s surface glittered serenely in the bright sunlight. While she could hear birds singing in the tall trees, a fat bumblebee flew from one yellow flower at the edge of the pond to the next.

The picture of quiet and peace almost took River´s breath away. The sight was stunning to behold…….a picture to good to be true. It reminded her more of paintings she had seen than a real existing landscape.

Closing the second door River turned around as understanding hit her. These places didn´t just exist here in this dream ….they potentially existed in all her dreams. These places were in her mind……the thought scared and exited her at the same time.

She must have created them….consciously or unconsciously, probably as a refuge from  the reality she faced in the real world, at the academy.

With growing curiosity she opened the third door only to be met by a howling gust of wind that made her stagger backwards. The doorway led to a place unlike any River had ever seen.

It was a vast, dark desert with black, glittering sand and sharp rock formations. There was no apparent life to see, no animal or plant …….

The only sound was the icy, dry wind sweeping over the rocks and sand under an empty sky with neither moon nor stars. The simple sight gave River a feeling of anxiety.

Pressing her lips together she slammed the door shut.

This was not a place she decided to revisit. Why would she create a place like that in her own mind?

Curiously River approached the last door, taking a deep breath before opening it.

The last door revealed a surprise that made River gasp in bewilderment.

The door led into an even smaller room…..and a very untidy one at that! Clothes and all kinds of other things were strewn across the floor in different heaps.

River caught a glimpse of ammunition stored in a half concealed box on the small table.

She looked around warily before she took a step forward into the room. The familiar feeling was tugging at her again…….River couldn´t remember this room, but the feeling of ease she felt grew stronger. For some reason just standing there in the middle of all that incredible mess made her feel safe……sheltered.

She closed her eyes, breathing deep …..that smell, masculine ……this was a man´s room.

River´s eyes snapped open in alert.

Her breath caught in her throat. Narrowing her eyes she looked around once more ……this was not a room, this was a cabin. The almost imperceptible vibration she felt was the engine of a ship, Serenity´s engine!

The realization  hit her like the snap of a whip.

This room was not just anywhere…..not a memory from long ago. This cabin was on Serenity…….somewhere on the ship!

She had obviously created it in her mind……from a memory, but she had no conscious recollection of ever seeing it. She knew she had never been in this cabin ……so how could she…..

Trying to get a hold of herself River sat down on the bed behind her, her hands grabbing the blanket.

Why was there a likeness of this cabin in her mind and more importantly ……River looked around, …..whose cabin was this?