~~Sakura P.O.V~~

I sit here in my room and it isnt fine. Nowhere near. I don't lead a perfect life and I don't have a perfectly happy family. My world is falling apart.

During this last week my life has crashed and burned, my reputation forever ruined. My image tainted and shattered like the soul that lies beneath. So here I sit still and live life, trying to forget that it won't be okay tomorrow.

It'll never be okay again. Everything in life is just so screwed up right now that I can't stand it anymore.

I cant because I know that tomorrow I wont wake up and be a three year old again. I wont have honeyed hair and I wont be an only child.

Your lives are just perfect with your expensive cars and your mansions but it'll all come crashing down soon enough. Mark my words. It will fall like a broken-down empire.

So here I am, sitting in a chair, shattered and tainted like a broken porcelain doll. Broken into pieces and shattered. Shattered like my love and my life. Shattered like dear grandfather whom past away the night before last.

Tainted and shattered.

So here I sit and I tell a piece of paper my problems just like the kids at school do to me. Doesn't it feel horrible to have everybody think you worthless and dense? They sit there and think about what trash you are. They cheat on you and expect you not to know because you act so fucking innocent. They tell you they love you and expect you to believe it yet; on the inside you ponder the reason that they utter meaningless words.

Then it hits you; all they want is your body, they want to use you for sex. They just want their own little sex slave that they can toy with.

So here I am broken hearted watching as the world turns its back on me and goes on.

Here I am melding into the background as always. Acting as if I don't have a care in the world but in this harsh reality I have the world on my shoulders. So at school I sit and I smile, I act stupid and fearful.

So here I still am. Sitting in this chair in front of this desk. Writing on a piece of paper watching the world go on without me.

So now I cry. I cry for the baby that I must murder, for my dear grandfather who although I didn't grow up with and only spent seven months with and rarely talked with on the phone still loved dearly, for my lost love and finally I cried for me.

Where did it go wrong? Maybe when I was almost one...little sister Tomoyo was born and everyone loved her more than me.

She took over my whole life. She even stole my boyfriend.

So here I sit...pregnant with decisions to make. Should I have an abortion or not? Should I tell the father? Should I give it up for adoption? God, what should I do?

Fifteen and pregnant...I must face up to life. My parents will probably kick me out, Li won't want me.

Fifteen and pregnant I must make a decision. How will I decide?

So here I am...half an hour later and I have made one decision. I have to tell the father.

Here I am at his doorstep and I press the doorbell.

I hear a familiar masculine voice "Coming." It yells. I already have a vague idea of what to be expecting.

So the door opens and it seems to take an eternity.

He looks down his nose at me, as if I were a piece of trash but no, I am not for I am worse than any trash I am a disgusting whore and I gave myself to him so the baby is my fault.

"What do you want?" he asks me rudely. "I need to talk to you." I say quietly hoping he won't hear my voice. "Come in," he says thickly.

I sit on the dark green leather of the couch. "You wanted to talk." He says. I know I'm in trouble now. Not even a big horrendous lie could cover this up so it's best that he hears it from me them from some gossiping stranger or a kid at school. "Look...this is really hard to say and you're going to hate this but I'm pregnant and I know it's yours because you're...the only guy that I've ever...been with." "............." He just sat there and I knew it was so wrong. I sat there solemnly wishing that I hadn't ruined his life. He just had so much ahead of him and I just had to go and get pregnant didn't I?

"Well, I don't know what to say. I'm sixteen and I'm told that I'm going to be a father. How far along are you?" he asked looking at me sadly. "Three months. Look I'm sorry that your perfect little life is ruined but so is mine and remember it takes two to tango. I didn't make this kid on my own." I said looking at him regretfully before moving my gaze. My eyes dart across my room noticing that all is the same as when I left it. "What do you want to do with this child?" he asked me not really caring. "I've decided to have an abortion." I managed to get out in-between sobs. I saw his mouth hang wide open in shock. He was obviously in distress; never did he think a girl like me would make a life-long decision like this, neither did I.

Before I knew it I had managed to get home again. I hadn't noticed that I was even moving yet somehow I had managed to once again avoid death and safely find my way home.