Epilogue
~~Mei Lin P.O.V~~
There she was; four years later her dreams took her to Hollywood.
I guess looking back everything happened horribly wrong but its all water under the bridge now and there's nothing we can do about it.
She left her family and never went to see them or how they were doing. One day a letter arrived in the mail, the words are still freshly engraved in my mind but the thing that she said was that her whole family and her circle of friends that –we- of –all- people pushed her too hard and far and it was because of –us- that she –had- to become a perfect female, that it was our fault that she didn't get a childhood.
She was always in her –perfect- world and nobody ever bothered to take her head out of the clouds.
The letter that I received bluntly stated that Syaoran impregnated her and that she had an abortion.
Hollywood inhabitants had called her perfect many-a-time in magazines, newspapers and television interviews that she was in always had questions about her –perfection-
Now everybody from town thought she was even more –perfect- than before.
The letter also said how she remembered being young and wishing she had another life while she was smoking in the park. It also said that she still wished she had another life away from this Hollywood bullshit and that now she still smoked except this time she even took almost lethal hits of drugs.
Apparently, she had been diagnosed with depression since the age of 12 ½ and that she still had it and it ruined her life.
She said to me that she remembered being a sixteen year old and learning that she had been living a lie and now this –life- was even more of a lie to her.
I suppose all of that Hollywood glamour bullshit must have gone to her pretty little head. Maybe I should ask someone but the one I really wasn't to ask; Sakura is gone.
Today I opened a magazine and the biggest article inside was about her, the small towners of Tomoeda didn't want their kids to be like naïve Sakura anymore. The article had also explained that she overdosed on a few too many pills and now she was getting drunk almost everyday.
She told the press that she couldn't take the perfect shit anymore; that this –lie- was destroying her and was stoping her from –really- living.
No one wanted her around any more so she was forced to move out of Hollywood and back into the quaint town of Tomoeda. They looked at her as if she were pathetic no one wanted her –stupidity- to rub off on them.
After growing up in her perfect little world she went on to Hollywood and became a perfect movie star.
Now even her –family- don't want her around our small town anymore. She's too imperfect and doesn't fit in.
Her family and everybody else in the modest-sized town that we live in were so disappointed in her and she knew that. And she cared.
So one day she found herself alone and decided to end her –perfect- life.
She had taken the small handgun from one of her father's locked glass display cabinets.
She went off to the spot where she had always had her dreams; she put the gun to her head, and wished for another life, unlike this.
She pulled the black trigger of the gun and the shot must have been heard as she fell to the ground, finally ending her –perfect- life that she was forced to live.
So with that single gunshot, she took her own unvalued life, but no one cares so they don't talk about it anymore.
I'm lucky to have known her for that short time, she graced us with her presence and when I die I hope to meet her –there- in Heaven with all the angels with white wings and gold halo's upon their gleaming heads.
I hope her decision wasn't made in vain as she shot herself in the middle of the rain.
What she did was not her fault she was being pushed to the edge with people wanting her to be perfect, she was undervalued by her family and even us her so-called –friends-
She was young and everybody made her strive for perfection, her parents were the wealthiest and most well-liked and well-known family in the whole of Japan.
They didn't give her a choice so she was made to do what her parents told her to but she thought 'life is short' and decided to do a few things on her own.
Her mother told her what to do, how to act as a –proper lady- should but Sakura wasn't a proper lady, she was just a teenage girl with a heart of gold. Her mother made her dress the way she did, she had to like the –right- flowers, wear the –right- perfumes, mingle with the –right- people and things like that.
I remember when Sakura finally found her voice it was almost the end of year seven and she decided that she would do something for herself, she walked herself to a piercing and tattoo place just outside of Tomoeda and got the inside of her left wrist tattooed with a golden tiara.
Then there were about 7 months to her birthday and she decided that she wanted to dye her hair so we marched right up to the most prestigious hairdresser and Sakura got her hair done all different shades of pink. From the palest of pale pinks to the wildest of the brighter shades.
Two or three months later she decided that she wanted her navel pierced. She asked her mother and the answer was the same time and time again it was a 'definite no' Sakura bugged her mother for about a month and nothing had changed. Sakura had decided at that very moment that she would pierce it herself. She was that serious. She went to a jeweller and bought a ring and a piercing needle. Within five minutes the pretty barbell was inserted into her navel.
At the age of 13 ½ she also slit her wrists she told me when we were on the phone one night. She told me that it was all a mask and that now her mask seemed to have cracked and failed. She told me that she couldn't be the only thing she wanted to be, I asked her cautiously what that was and in response she muttered "dead" and hung the phone up.
I called her up miserable minutes later and told her that I too cut myself.
A few days later our friend Diana had lost her boyfriend Jerry to another girl and she told us that she had depression and that she was forced to see the counsellor, as she hadn't eaten in five days.
We held her as she cried and we helped dry her tears.
Then we decided that maybe we should see the counsellor. She told us that she had to tell the principal and we would have to tell him if we would or wouldn't cut ourselves in the future. I told them that I probably wouldn't and they called my mother.
As they called her in I could see that she had fear in her eyes.
She told them straight-out that she would never do it again and was forced to show them her wrists.
Then she burst out laughing and continued to Gym with me by her side.
That's it that's all I can really remember up until this point so that's where I'll end it.
~~Mei Lin P.O.V~~
There she was; four years later her dreams took her to Hollywood.
I guess looking back everything happened horribly wrong but its all water under the bridge now and there's nothing we can do about it.
She left her family and never went to see them or how they were doing. One day a letter arrived in the mail, the words are still freshly engraved in my mind but the thing that she said was that her whole family and her circle of friends that –we- of –all- people pushed her too hard and far and it was because of –us- that she –had- to become a perfect female, that it was our fault that she didn't get a childhood.
She was always in her –perfect- world and nobody ever bothered to take her head out of the clouds.
The letter that I received bluntly stated that Syaoran impregnated her and that she had an abortion.
Hollywood inhabitants had called her perfect many-a-time in magazines, newspapers and television interviews that she was in always had questions about her –perfection-
Now everybody from town thought she was even more –perfect- than before.
The letter also said how she remembered being young and wishing she had another life while she was smoking in the park. It also said that she still wished she had another life away from this Hollywood bullshit and that now she still smoked except this time she even took almost lethal hits of drugs.
Apparently, she had been diagnosed with depression since the age of 12 ½ and that she still had it and it ruined her life.
She said to me that she remembered being a sixteen year old and learning that she had been living a lie and now this –life- was even more of a lie to her.
I suppose all of that Hollywood glamour bullshit must have gone to her pretty little head. Maybe I should ask someone but the one I really wasn't to ask; Sakura is gone.
Today I opened a magazine and the biggest article inside was about her, the small towners of Tomoeda didn't want their kids to be like naïve Sakura anymore. The article had also explained that she overdosed on a few too many pills and now she was getting drunk almost everyday.
She told the press that she couldn't take the perfect shit anymore; that this –lie- was destroying her and was stoping her from –really- living.
No one wanted her around any more so she was forced to move out of Hollywood and back into the quaint town of Tomoeda. They looked at her as if she were pathetic no one wanted her –stupidity- to rub off on them.
After growing up in her perfect little world she went on to Hollywood and became a perfect movie star.
Now even her –family- don't want her around our small town anymore. She's too imperfect and doesn't fit in.
Her family and everybody else in the modest-sized town that we live in were so disappointed in her and she knew that. And she cared.
So one day she found herself alone and decided to end her –perfect- life.
She had taken the small handgun from one of her father's locked glass display cabinets.
She went off to the spot where she had always had her dreams; she put the gun to her head, and wished for another life, unlike this.
She pulled the black trigger of the gun and the shot must have been heard as she fell to the ground, finally ending her –perfect- life that she was forced to live.
So with that single gunshot, she took her own unvalued life, but no one cares so they don't talk about it anymore.
I'm lucky to have known her for that short time, she graced us with her presence and when I die I hope to meet her –there- in Heaven with all the angels with white wings and gold halo's upon their gleaming heads.
I hope her decision wasn't made in vain as she shot herself in the middle of the rain.
What she did was not her fault she was being pushed to the edge with people wanting her to be perfect, she was undervalued by her family and even us her so-called –friends-
She was young and everybody made her strive for perfection, her parents were the wealthiest and most well-liked and well-known family in the whole of Japan.
They didn't give her a choice so she was made to do what her parents told her to but she thought 'life is short' and decided to do a few things on her own.
Her mother told her what to do, how to act as a –proper lady- should but Sakura wasn't a proper lady, she was just a teenage girl with a heart of gold. Her mother made her dress the way she did, she had to like the –right- flowers, wear the –right- perfumes, mingle with the –right- people and things like that.
I remember when Sakura finally found her voice it was almost the end of year seven and she decided that she would do something for herself, she walked herself to a piercing and tattoo place just outside of Tomoeda and got the inside of her left wrist tattooed with a golden tiara.
Then there were about 7 months to her birthday and she decided that she wanted to dye her hair so we marched right up to the most prestigious hairdresser and Sakura got her hair done all different shades of pink. From the palest of pale pinks to the wildest of the brighter shades.
Two or three months later she decided that she wanted her navel pierced. She asked her mother and the answer was the same time and time again it was a 'definite no' Sakura bugged her mother for about a month and nothing had changed. Sakura had decided at that very moment that she would pierce it herself. She was that serious. She went to a jeweller and bought a ring and a piercing needle. Within five minutes the pretty barbell was inserted into her navel.
At the age of 13 ½ she also slit her wrists she told me when we were on the phone one night. She told me that it was all a mask and that now her mask seemed to have cracked and failed. She told me that she couldn't be the only thing she wanted to be, I asked her cautiously what that was and in response she muttered "dead" and hung the phone up.
I called her up miserable minutes later and told her that I too cut myself.
A few days later our friend Diana had lost her boyfriend Jerry to another girl and she told us that she had depression and that she was forced to see the counsellor, as she hadn't eaten in five days.
We held her as she cried and we helped dry her tears.
Then we decided that maybe we should see the counsellor. She told us that she had to tell the principal and we would have to tell him if we would or wouldn't cut ourselves in the future. I told them that I probably wouldn't and they called my mother.
As they called her in I could see that she had fear in her eyes.
She told them straight-out that she would never do it again and was forced to show them her wrists.
Then she burst out laughing and continued to Gym with me by her side.
That's it that's all I can really remember up until this point so that's where I'll end it.
