DISCLAIMER: No I don´t own zip ……wish I did, then I could play with them whenever I want!
NOTES: So here goes the plan ……and the bickering………and the stupid comments! Enjoy!
Hope you all had a happy new year!!!!!! And a Wonderful Chrismukkah( Hey chaos , I watch that show too …isn´t SET just cute???)
THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK!! I love you guys!
SCYLLA AND CHARYBDIS
„ A better plan? " Wash asked into the silence, scratching his head.
" I don't know, but let me think about it for maybe …say five minutes…..I might come up with an even crazier one!"
" What is your ruddin´ problem?" Mal interrupted him angrily.
" My problem? Maybe that this so called plan of yours is really not much of a plan at all!"
Looking at the captain's face Simon carefully tried to slide his chair a little further away from the table. The doctor exchanged a weary look with Shepherd Book, who sat at his right. Judging from the look on Malcolm Reynold's face he thought it more than likely that Serenity´s captain might just leap across the table any second now to throttle his pilot.
" Well maybe if the captain explained it again…." Kaylee piped up, gingerly tugging at Mal´s sleeve. "Maybe we just didn't really get the gist of the plan yet. If you could just explain it again, we might…."
" I think that would be a very good idea, don't you agree, Sir?" Zoë said pointedly, one hand on her husbands arm.
"I think I got it the first time ´round!" Jayne said, grinning evilly as he leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms behind his head.
When everyone stared at him the mercenary shrugged. Under the table River gave him a kick to the chins just for good measure.
"But hey ….I sure don't mind hearing that gorram´ crazy plan again!"
Malcolm Reynolds closed his eyes for a second, counting to ten and taking a deep steadying breath.
"Remind me again why I don´t shoot you for insubordination?"
"Because you need me for that crazy plan of yours!"
"Right the plan …shiny, now again for all who did not get it the first time: Our friend Niska may own his own space station, but we all know he ain´t gonna fly that pretty thing over to Hades. For one it's to big, to flashy and too slow! Wash spotted his shiny new ship, it's faster but also smaller and in contrast to his pretty station not armed to the teeth. It's smaller so that means…."
"He'll have to restock before going home once his business is finished." Book finished.
Mal nodded in assent.
"That's right! It means that the crew will have to pick up a few things while they're on Hades….like food, water, gas or his new ship will never make it back home from his little business venture. That's good for us, cause there's only one settlement on Hades that trades in gas." He punched his finger onto a small point on a map that lay on the table in front of him. It was situated in what seemed to be a canyon, the signs next to the mark on the map stated
"Styx" in untidy letters. " So…"
" They´ll have to make the exchange somewhere in that vicinity." Zoë answered.
Mal nodded.
" That´s what we should be countin' on. As I said before….Wash …" He threw another warning glance to his pilot.
" Wash has managed to get some information on alliance movements and it seems as though one of their cruisers is heading towards Hades. We have about one and a half day on them."
"So what you are counting on really is that the men Niska is going to send into that settlement to organize the pick up of water and rations for the way back will be ….." Book looked around the table in his search for the right words.
" ….in the mood to celebrate?"
"Been out there in the black for some ruddin' time, Mal´s right, they´ll come looking for charming company." Jayne growled, wiggling his eyebrows.
Zoë couldn´t resist rolling her eyes at him before she turned to the captain again.
"We don´t know that for sure, Sir."
"Oh , I think we do." Mal answered with a bitter grin.
"You went into that station with no more than five bodies in order to get me out and still kinda caught them with their pants down. We trashed that station up pretty nice ……now they think they duped us bad. Believe me, they'll want to celebrate!"
" But ….maybe…I mean, how do you know they'll pick that…particular establishment to celebrate their victory?" Simon asked, struggling for the most neutral expressions possible.
The young doctor cringed inwardly as all eyes fixed on him.
" Well doctor, hate to be the one to break it to you but Jayne's got this one right for once. This particular establishment is the only bordello in town."
" It's still a lot of maybes, Mal!" Wash told him wearily.
" And I don't feel very comfortable with my wife going in as bait, pretending to be a hooker to lure one of these guys somewhere we can jump him….and then get the meeting point for the exchange out of him"
" It's just a disguise honey!" Zoë said, patting his arm.
"Zoë can´t go in there!"
"What?" Mal turned to Kaylee with a confused look. Now his little mechanic had really been the last of whom he would have expected any protest. Still, there she sat with a worried expression on her pretty face, her eyes round and wide like a little girl's.
" I said Zoë can´t be our decoy, they´ll recognize her. She walked half through Niska´s station when she ransomed Wash. What if one of those guys happens to have been there and recognizes her….."
"That's not very likely, is it?" Simon asked, pinching the back of his nose. He could feel a headache developing rapidly. No …the life of crime was definitely not for him, not even a big moustache would change that.
Mal returned Kaylee´s look, gnawing on his lower lip.
River gave her brother a wry smile. "You are a man …..I think a woman like Zoë, even if you only caught a glimpse of her, is hard to forget. Even if it's not likely, should we take the risk? It could spoil everything."
Mal nodded, his glance shifting to River.
"She's right. Maybe it's not likely but …..Can't afford to take the chance! If one of them had the slightest suspicion, it´s over."
"That leaves Kaylee and me." River stated matter- of -factly.
" No!" Simon shook his head vigorously.
" No way!"
Mal and the doctor looked at each other, while Jayne sat up straight and turned towards River.
"We can't let you two go in there…" Mal said, shaking his head almost in time with Simon.
"I wanna help, captain!" Kaylee alleged empathically.
" No!" Mal shook his head again. " I´m with the doctor on this one."
The thought of Kaylee in a whorehouse, maybe forced to draw a gun made his heart ache. She had told him herself how the last time she had held a gun had gone down. She had gotten shot once before…….Now he knew that River could probably handle herself, but the thought of her as a hooker, even if it was just a disguise was just wrong.
River tried to ignore Jayne´s angry stare, exchanging an exasperated look with Kaylee she sighed, pushing her chair back. She stood up slowly, propping her hands up on her hips.
Her eyes wandered across the table from one person to another until it fixed on Malcolm Reynolds. There was no way she had done this dream- walking ordeal for nothing!
"Well…" she said seriously, one fine eyebrow lifted like a perfect arc over her dark eyes.
" ….unless you and Jayne want to dress up as hookers, captain. I guess you have no choice."
Before Mal could even answer, Kaylee threw her head back and let out a soft, giggly squeal that turned into laughter.
" Oh….Sorry Cap´n but I think you'd make a horribly ugly hooker. Don't think any of those guys would let you lure them anywhere, let alone be willin' to pay to see you in some flimsy outfit!"
Wash turned away from the table, hiding his face in his hands to suppress his laughter. All around the table people started grinning or chuckling, even Zoe couldn´t keep a smile from her face. Mal frowned impatiently.
" I think she might be right, Sir!"
Kaylee stood up next to River, putting her arms around the smaller woman's waist.
"You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, my daddy used to say!"
River looked at Kaylee, smiling.
Mal stared at the two of them with an uncomfortable feeling in his gut. He knew they were right, to make this plan work he needed them to go in, he needed the fact that they were pretty, young girls. He didn´t like it one bit, but it seemed as though …no matter what he said, they had already made up their minds.
" They could recognize you just as well as Zoë, some of Niska`s men shot at you two in the dock!" Simon reminded them, his face serious. He did not like this plan one bit.
Kaylee´s whole body tensed for a second, but it was River who answered her brother.
"The men who saw us are all dead." Her voice sounded detached for a second, as though she was not talking about three men that she had shot. She didn't regret it, River realized. They had tried to shoot her and Kaylee so she had shot them …no, not her ……the thing.
"You sure you're up for this?" he asked into the heavy silence that had fallen over the table like a thick blanket.
Kaylee took a deep breath, nodding.
"She would have done so much more than this."
" That's not what I'm askin´ Kaylee."
"You can't seriously think of letting them do this!" Simon said, until he caught his sister´s gaze. She looked into her brother's eyes, shaking her head.
"Not now, Simon, please!"
Kaylee returned Mal´s questioning look, trying to muster up a brave smile. Maybe she did not know what exactly she was getting herself into, but this was not just about her ….it was about Inara, about the captain. Niska hadn´t just hurt those two……he was trying to hurt all of them and she wanted to do her part.
"Do I get to dress up in a scandalous outfit lookin´ all seductive and glamorous?" she inquired with a sly smile.
"That's an essential part of the plan." River answered, still trying to ignore Jayne´s piercing stare. She could feel the boiling emotions surrounding her, like waves tickling her.
"Oh …then I'm up for it. I promise I'll let River do the shootin´ and cuttin´ if need be. I´ll keep to the cursin´and lewd comments!"
River took her hand, squeezing it tightly as she finally looked into Jayne´s severe face.
"It'll be okay!" she said, even though Mal was not quite sure who she was talking to …..her
brother, him ….Jayne?"
The mercenary looked at his boots for a moment, shaking his head. When he looked up again his face split into a grim smile.
"Yeah ..I know!"
She knew he liked this idea as much as Mal or Simon, he did not want her or Kaylee to do this, but she also knew where that smile came from just then. River looked into his eyes and she could read it in his thoughts. It made her blush a little and return his wicked grin at the same time.
It was almost as if he thinking it to have her read it in his thoughts, almost as though he was actually saying it to her……..getting to see you in a hooker get up, now that´s even better than the gorram´ leather pants.
